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A beginner's guide to whaling
September 22, 2004 7:21 AM   Subscribe

A beginner's guide to whaling.
posted by biffa (23 comments total)

 
Great idea! I'm going to change my plans for the weekend now!
This reminded me of that Seinfeld episode where Kramer dispatches a Titleist golf ball into the blow hole of a monster whale, and George (uncharacteristically) surfs in to the rescue.
"The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man sending soup back at the deli..."
posted by apocalypse miaow at 7:38 AM on September 22, 2004


You know, I had the harpoon lying around the house for years now, I'd been meaning to pick it up again. There's just never any time, you know? I only got it in the first place because all the chicks in college dug a guy who could use one.

Two whalers do not meet, they have encounters.

What is this, Emerson?
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 7:40 AM on September 22, 2004


Whales are among the most intelligent and most gracious mammals on earth, some say even more intelligent than people.

Hence, why we must SLAY THEM!

During my teenage years, a friends dad actually had 2 harpoons. The real deal too. Not original to the old whaling days, but replicas I would imagine. Needless to say we did stupid things with them, but none of what we did involved whales or even water.
posted by a3matrix at 7:59 AM on September 22, 2004


Your friends dad still have those harpoons? Stupid E-bay is of no help.
posted by Keith Talent at 8:02 AM on September 22, 2004


Murder=art?

Absolutely disgusting.
posted by ig at 8:13 AM on September 22, 2004


Caress it and stab it. This is awesome.
posted by kenko at 8:25 AM on September 22, 2004


Worm riding. Now that is an art.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:43 AM on September 22, 2004


IG: dude is joke, yes?
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:52 AM on September 22, 2004


Caress it and stab it

kenko, that was the exact same phrase that leapt out at me.

Wow.
posted by penguin pie at 8:53 AM on September 22, 2004


Irony meter going off the charts.
posted by Dukebloo at 8:56 AM on September 22, 2004


my brother requests that I post this link to a whaling education program he wrote in hypercard while a mere college-student.

Whaling for Kids
posted by sfz at 10:14 AM on September 22, 2004


First of all, whaling is not a sport. It is an art.

Hah!

Hunting can only properly be considered an art when humans are the prey. Truly, liberation from the artificial barrier of Man's murder laws is the only true freedom. The spirit is not free to soar among the peaks of self unless you break from humanity by declaring your superiority and fitness to live.


*cough**cough*

I mean, yeah, whaling, great.
posted by lumpenprole at 10:14 AM on September 22, 2004


Building on lumpenprole's riff - I read (pay-to-view article at Scientific American) about Inuits who would paddle out to sea in their driftwood and sealskin kayaks and kill sizeable whales with primitive harpoons. Analysis of their remains revealed some of the highest rugosity (points where muscle attaches to bone) ever seen.

Normally, I'm against whaling - but if we're talking about badasses who can kill whales like this, then I am all for sending these people out to sea, far away from pansies such as myself.
posted by rks404 at 10:22 AM on September 22, 2004


Keith, I would put $$ on those things still being in the basement at his moms house. Things like that just don't move too far.
posted by a3matrix at 10:26 AM on September 22, 2004


Not only are they fun to hunt and kill, they're tasty as hell!
posted by SweetJesus at 10:33 AM on September 22, 2004



4. Is there a society of whalers?
No, nor can there be. A whaler is a man (or woman) alone. Two whalers do not meet, they have encounters.


WTF, didn't this guy read the sermon in Moby Dick?
posted by inksyndicate at 10:35 AM on September 22, 2004


Whaler killing: the art of using long pointy objects to kill whalers.

Now there's an art.

Next up: bow-hunting the elusive Ted Nugent.
posted by Shane at 10:58 AM on September 22, 2004


I've eaten whale, in Iceland. It tasted like chicken beef crossed with salmon. V. tasty.
posted by norm at 11:09 AM on September 22, 2004


I got to see the aftermath of a whale hunt when I spent time in Alaska. Not pretty. The amount of steam and stench a 26 foot grey whale can unleash on a small town is just amazing.

I've got a few photos I can dig out if anyone's interested...
posted by esch at 11:17 AM on September 22, 2004


...silence falls...
posted by penguin pie at 11:25 AM on September 22, 2004


Related Ask.Me question.
posted by stet at 12:18 PM on September 22, 2004


Two whalers do not meet, they have encounters.

What is this, Emerson?


I think you might mean Melville (and Hawthorne).
posted by kirkaracha at 3:17 PM on September 22, 2004


Please God, nobody ask esch about those photos...
posted by apocalypse miaow at 4:03 PM on September 22, 2004


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