Death is a primitive concept; I prefer to think of them as battling evil - in another dimension!

September 22, 2004 8:40 PM

"I must congratulate you on your virtuoso performance, my boy. Centauri is impressed. I've seen 'em come, and I've seen 'em go, but you're the best, my boy. Dazzling! Light years ahead of the competition! Centauri's got a little proposition for you. Are ya interested?"

That's right. The Last Starfighter: The Musical. Can a Planet Of The Apes musical be far behind? What other sci-fi flicks would you like to see a musical made of? And why isn't Carrie Fisher's virtuoso performance from the Star Wars Holiday Special on the new DVD set?
posted by keswick (29 comments total)

Oh boy! Several new things to add to the mental pyre!
posted by interrobang at 8:44 PM on September 22, 2004

Personally, just to bring things full circle, I'm hoping for The Last Starfighter: The Musical: The Game.

It would, of course, utilize the EyeToy, a USB headset mic, and a DDR dance mat to monitor you for proper pitch and accurate choreography as you played the actual Starfighter game. Forget Grand Theft Auto - TLSTMTG will be the new killer app for PS2.

Not to mention the only way to find the all-singing, all-dancing savior of the galaxy.
posted by Fourmyle at 9:18 PM on September 22, 2004

Singing Hobbitses?
posted by iamck at 9:19 PM on September 22, 2004

Planet of Apes: the planet or the movie?
posted by Quartermass at 9:31 PM on September 22, 2004

I say MeFiNYC ought to meetup for this.
posted by riffola at 9:37 PM on September 22, 2004

Ha! What a perfect vehicle for the sappy melodrama that was that film. The special effects are now embarassingly beyond obsolete, unsaleable to any audience at any price (even free, I'd hazard). I guess they found some other way to milk an entertainment dollar from that plot.

The Last Starfighter: the film that answered the question "Could you squeeze Star Wars into one movie if yoda was actually some kind of wheezing fish man and there wasn't any complicated bullshit about the chick being your sister or the villain being your father?"
posted by scarabic at 9:40 PM on September 22, 2004

I hate every ape I see,
From chimpan-A to chimpanzee,
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me!

(Statue of Liberty rises)

O my! I was wrong!
It was Earth, all along!
You've finally made a monkey,
posted by pixelgeek at 9:41 PM on September 22, 2004

It just won't be the same without Robert Preston queening it up.

I miss Robert Preston. Actually, I kinda miss Lance Guest too. If you know what I mean.
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:47 PM on September 22, 2004

I liked the movie. For its time, it was a fun movie that satisfied the kid in me -- I mean, dude, you rock an arcade game and find out it's ALL REAL. Plus, even though you're a game freak, you have this really hot girlfriend.... god, that movie really made me smile.

Of course, I also liked Krull, so what do I know.
posted by linux at 9:54 PM on September 22, 2004

It also was the 2nd film, after TRON, to extensively use cgi, I believe.

I also loved that alien's little automated monocle.

"What do we do now?"
vvvvvVVVVPPPP
"We die."

It's also better than Teen Wolf.
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:59 PM on September 22, 2004

Krull was fucking swizzy sweeeeet. But it was pretty much a musical already, and there's been at least one video game. DAMN! All we have left to look forward to is Frank Miller taking an interest in reviving it.
posted by scarabic at 10:02 PM on September 22, 2004

What other sci-fi flicks would you like to see a musical made of?

They already did it: "Carrie". Yes, the Stephen King story--and the gold-standard for so-horrible-it's-good Broadway flops. It even spawned a great book about musical flops through the decades. Bootleg soundboard recordings are available on P2P networks; Betty Buckley and Linzi Hateley are amazing in it, and some of the music is gorgeous. Too bad the show was so ill-conceived, ill-directed, and ill-choreographed.

And don't forget the unauthorized Star Wars: The Musical! Written and performed by kids at a performing arts high school in California, it looks adorable. It's hard to tell from the script, but the kids took existing musical theatre numbers (mostly Les Miserables, but also Miss Saigon and Tommy) and just re-wrote the words. There's a video out there of it somewhere...
posted by Asparagirl at 11:32 PM on September 22, 2004

must...see...Krull...now...

I'd like to see a light opera made of my favorite movie, Network.

Come to think of it, Brazil might work as a musical, too.
posted by alumshubby at 5:07 AM on September 23, 2004

There was also an original musical of Star Wars that was kicking around, back in the day of my former career (c. late 1980's). If I looked hard enough, I probably still have the demo tape kicking around somewhere, it's not the sort of high camp treasure I'd have thrown away. It really was an utter camp classic - passed around on duped tapes, played, karaoke style, at many a gathering of New York musical comedy queens. It was even more hilarious than the basic idea sounds because they were so deadly serious about it. I recall, in particular, that Chewbacca has been given dialogue in what we always called "Astro" - English as pronounced by George Jetson's dog. Oh, please tell me I'm not the only living homo who remembers this one!
posted by JollyWanker at 5:11 AM on September 23, 2004

Asparagirl - I'd have paid a good 5 bucks to see that show. It looks wonderful. In fact, a musical SW trilogy done right could be great in a campy, affecting sort of way. It couldn't possibly do any less credit to the original movies than Lucas' latest infantile toys-in-space wet-dream.
posted by kahboom at 5:36 AM on September 23, 2004

ZARDOZ. Zardoz. Zardoz. Zardoz. I would give my left nut to see a musical based on Zardoz.

The opening, where the flying head floats down and barfs out the guns (you heard me), would be better than a million Super Bowls and everything Andrew Lloyd Weber's ever done combined.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:16 AM on September 23, 2004

I loved this movie. I can still remember the voice of the videogame -- "Greetings starfighter! You have been selected to defend the frontier against Zuhr and the Kodan Armada!"

And what videogame-addicted kid didn't hope, secretly, that this movie was true?
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:51 AM on September 23, 2004

I miss Robert Preston. Actually, I kinda miss Lance Guest too. If you know what I mean.

No, no, you just miss the guest lance.

(ducks)
posted by norm at 7:07 AM on September 23, 2004

"Greetings Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Xur and the Ko-dan Armada."

That was from memory. Yes, this is taking up brain cells that should by all rights have been killed off by alcohol.
posted by Jart at 7:36 AM on September 23, 2004

"Soylent Green: The Musical"
Gives "song and dance" a whole new spin, doesn't it?

I'd love to see Zardoz as a musical, just for the comedy value.
posted by FormlessOne at 7:58 AM on September 23, 2004

It's also better than Teen Wolf.

Wait wait wait, is there a Teen Wolf musical I should know about? Does this exist? And if it doesn't, why in God's name NOT?
posted by Stan Chin at 8:22 AM on September 23, 2004

The Aqua Teen Hunger Force homage was pretty good.
posted by drezdn at 8:59 AM on September 23, 2004

Dune already has a head start if they can bag the rights to "Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue."
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:10 AM on September 23, 2004

Card Cheat:

Oh yeah, I'd be at the premiere of Zardoz: The Musical!.

While the gun-barfing head would be a good beginning, I think the climax of the film would be the scene towards the end when all of the Vortex people are dancing on roller skates, sweeping over to Zardoz (played by Huge Ackman sans shirt) and licking his super-power sweat. As they sing to almost but not quite the tune of "Magic Bus":
Every day I hope and pray
(Hoo-yah, magic sweat)
For some death to come and take me away
(Hoo-yah, magic sweat)

Or maybe they could have all the songs specially written by Blue Oyster Cult. With a purposeful grimace and a mighty big gun he shoots the cringing brutals dow-ow-own....
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:26 AM on September 23, 2004

It also was the 2nd film, after TRON, to extensively use cgi, I believe.

And all without texture mapping, too.
posted by Foosnark at 9:45 AM on September 23, 2004

"They Live" the rock opera.

With hits like:

"I'm All Out of Bubble Gum"

and

"Everybody Sells Out Every Day"
posted by 4midori at 10:51 AM on September 23, 2004

I hope they keep this line:

Alex Rogan : Teriffic. I'm about to get killed a million miles from nowhere with a gung-ho iguana who tells me to relax.

or

Centauri : Alex! Alex! You're walking away from history! History, Alex! Did Chris Columbus stay home? Nooooo. What if the Wright Brothers thought that only birds should fly? And did Galoka think that the Ulus were too ugly to save?
Alex Rogan : Who's Galoka?
Centauri : Never mind.
Alex Rogan : Listen, Centauri. I'm not any of those guys, I'm a kid from a trailer park.
Centauri : If that's what you think, then that's all you'll ever be!
posted by darren at 11:17 AM on September 23, 2004

And here I spent all that time playing videogames thinking that the aliens were gonna come get me and take me away to run a themepark/restart civilization/deliver papers/stack oddly-shaped blocks on top of each other...
posted by Katemonkey at 11:37 AM on September 23, 2004

4midori: i'm so there.
posted by keswick at 1:04 PM on September 23, 2004