Ding Dongs & Wedding Bells

September 25, 2004 3:03 PM

Why straights shouldn't marry. "Phil and Pam both loved to eat Twinkies and Cup Cakes as children. On their first date, Phil ended a day of golf with a bottle of champagne and Cup Cakes to munch on as they watched the sun set over the Hudson." (via Holy Shitake.)
posted by adrober (44 comments total)

That. Is. The. Most. Beautiful. Thing. I. Have. Ever. Seen.
posted by jonmc at 3:06 PM on September 25, 2004

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
posted by bcwinters at 3:07 PM on September 25, 2004

Now, if only it was deep-fried.
posted by boaz at 3:08 PM on September 25, 2004

the world is a safer, better place with hostess.

/me ♥ teh frosted donettes
posted by quonsar at 3:12 PM on September 25, 2004

I prefer orange soda and a Chipwich myself. Mmmm. Chipwich.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 3:12 PM on September 25, 2004

I like to make mini-psuedo-chipwiches with entemann's chocolate chip coolies and rainbow chip cake frosting.
posted by jonmc at 3:14 PM on September 25, 2004

You laugh, but it took a good night of convincing to prevent the fiance from going this route with our wedding cake. Instead, we're having fancy cupcakes.

tho, my groom's cake may be ala hostess...
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:15 PM on September 25, 2004

wow. the love between a man and his hostess baked goods is a beautiful thing.
posted by namespan at 3:21 PM on September 25, 2004

*wipes a tear away*

I'm sorry, weddings rarely move me this much.
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:22 PM on September 25, 2004

i understand the parent company declared bankruptcy the other day.
posted by quonsar at 3:25 PM on September 25, 2004

i understand the parent company declared bankruptcy the other day.

thanks a lot, health nazis.

*shakes fist*
posted by jonmc at 3:26 PM on September 25, 2004

Mhh there's something wrong with the elegant stylized couple on top of the cake and the cake itself...for some reason the association "I'm loving it" and McDonald is running to mind, guess I'm 0wned ?

Anyway, hopefully they're enjoying their marriage.. oh shit enjoy coca-cola is running to mind...I so much need to stop watching advertisement.
posted by elpapacito at 3:30 PM on September 25, 2004

Now, if only it was deep-fried.

Um.

From the same site:

A weddings page.

"Employees at the Deluxe Corporation had fun competing in a “Dress Your Twinkie” contest." WTF?

After Eating More Than 21,800 Twinkies Lewis Browning Still Wants More

Jack Sheffler, art history teacher at the University of Pittsburgh at Bradford, is building a towering pyramid out of Hostess treats to show the similarities between "pop" art and ancient architecture to his students.
posted by dobbs at 3:31 PM on September 25, 2004

Out out demons of marketing !

*waves magic demarketing wand*
posted by elpapacito at 3:32 PM on September 25, 2004

That guy better hope the Culinary Institute doesn't find out about this. They'll not only fire him, they might have him shot.
posted by psmealey at 3:33 PM on September 25, 2004

At least anyone who wants to try this can be relatively sure that their wedding won't be interrupted by supervillains.
posted by jonson at 3:34 PM on September 25, 2004

When Lewis Browning dies, they won't have to worry about embalming him. With all those damn preservatives he's ingested, he'll keep for a 100 years or more.
posted by psmealey at 3:35 PM on September 25, 2004

That guy better hope the Culinary Institute doesn't find out about this

The culinary institute appreciates junk food as much as the rest of us, psmealey. The worlds greatest hot dog stand (which is in your area dude) is rune by a culinary institute graduate.
posted by jonmc at 3:37 PM on September 25, 2004

Seriously?? I had no idea. Super Duper Weenies is awesome by the way. I mean just AWESOME.
posted by psmealey at 3:39 PM on September 25, 2004

The best dessert I've had this year was at a really nice seafood place on the Oregon coast that featured a house Ding Dong dessert, but made with fine devils food and fresh creme, all covered in a high quality chocolate. It was amazing.

The most impressive thing about this cake was the sheer number of hostess products they worked into it. Usually these things are regional, so it's hard to get chocodiles in one town where sno-balls are easy to come by.
posted by mathowie at 3:48 PM on September 25, 2004

psmealey: To my experience, people who have culinary careers usually have strange junk-food fetishes. It's kind of accepted in the industry. I once went to menu planning meetings at a place called Nick's Coney Island where the chef ate a "chili hot-burger" which consisted of four hotdogs to make a "patty" which was smothered in chili and served in a burger bun. Between bites he was describing his theories about fois gras.

Another friend of mine, a sous-chef, once talked to me about this hotdog stand in a parking lot of a grocery store. He was very excited that the chili dogs were served with a chili that used hotdogs as the meat. I dunno, but that's pretty fucking genius if you ask me.

One night a chef I worked for made the crew dinner. He made fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Evidently he saw the recipe in the Elvis Cookbook.

So, to the point, this cake is awesome. I would be proud to study under such a culinary forward thinker.

jonmc: Yeah! Hotdogs!
posted by elwoodwiles at 3:49 PM on September 25, 2004

Best in the world. Make mine chili, bacon, cheese, kraut & mustard. Gary, the guy in the flag bandana is indeed a graduate of the Institute. How else could he make a humble tubesteak so delicious? And in the constitution state he's got serious competition. But back to Twinkies. I love them. I remember getting them in my lunchbox, and licking the "creme" of my fingers. I remember collecting the cut-out baseball cards on the back of the box. I've even dined on the fried ones at the chip shop in brooklyn.

What are the kids of the future gonna be stuck with if they go under? fruit leather and carrott sticks? We should start a telethon...
posted by jonmc at 3:50 PM on September 25, 2004

Oh good Christ, that thing is beautiful.

One time, I went to a fair my brother's elementary school was hosting, and they had a cake walk (where you walk and if you're on the right number when the music ends, you win a cake), and instead of cake, they had twinkies, and I kept on winning.

Oh man, I had a twinkie defense going on for a mighty long time...
posted by Katemonkey at 3:59 PM on September 25, 2004

I've never worked out why Americans have this reputation for being a nation of fat dumbasses...
posted by i_cola at 4:07 PM on September 25, 2004

I guess the best thing about a cake like this is that you can seal up what you don't eat and save it for your golden anniversary.
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 4:07 PM on September 25, 2004

I've never worked out why Americans have this reputation for being a nation of fat dumbasses...

Hey, the place in Brooklyn that serves the fried twinkie is run by Brits, man. :)
posted by jonmc at 4:16 PM on September 25, 2004

Oh man I love that cake! Now I know what type of cake I'll get for my wedding (should that ever happen)! Maybe even a custom wedding ring made of twinkie! Those things are good forever, you know.
posted by shepd at 4:18 PM on September 25, 2004

You want deep fried wedding cake? Well, then the Krispy Krack Wedding Cake is just what you are looking for.
And robocop, Deb at Freakgirl had a cupcake wedding cake. On top they had a small cake that they could save for the anniversary, which I thought was a neat idea.
posted by thatothrgirl at 4:26 PM on September 25, 2004

Mandatory Twinkies bashing baby-eating anti-herebelions economic analysis ; twinkie lovers don't click you have been warned. Also on the bottom of page a somehow superficial, but interesting analysis of composition.
posted by elpapacito at 4:29 PM on September 25, 2004

el papacito, your parents never let you eat twinkies did they?
posted by jonmc at 4:39 PM on September 25, 2004

jonmc :) yeah and they made me eat mcdonalds till I was old enough to runaway. I liked twinkies as they're indeed delicious taste bud trippers, but I learned to look for better yet delicious enough food like, for instance, this delicious kind of biscuit which I'm eating as I write.

Another alternative is the ages old, tried and tested toasted bread (recicyling fresh bread gone stale) with pectine based fruit marmelades. Sugar indeed, but usually less stabilizers and colorants and more control on the sugar intake..not mentioning much much more variety of tastes.
posted by elpapacito at 5:02 PM on September 25, 2004

You could say that Twinkies and the like represent the worst qualities of Americans, like gluttony, disregard for health, greed, garish commercialism, and you'd have a point. But they could also be said to represent our best traits: exuberance, lust for life, raw energy and sensuality.

Obviously there's room for twinkies, italian pastry (which I was raised on as well), and oranges & carrot sticks in our cultural palette.
posted by jonmc at 5:08 PM on September 25, 2004

Damn you elpapacito. I can't stop drooling.
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 5:10 PM on September 25, 2004

Hmm, twinkies don't appeal to me, nor do almost any of the other hostess stuff. Too sugary without other flavors. I don't object to the sugary part, just the plainness part.

God, I love a good chocolate cake. And fudge. And key lime pie. Cherry pie. Hot apple pie and ice cream. Desserts are goood.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 5:23 PM on September 25, 2004

...they could also be said to represent our best traits: exuberance, lust for life, raw energy and sensuality.

Using the words 'lust', 'exuberant' and 'energy' to describe a twinkie constitute a matter of taste, I guess, but 'life', 'raw' and 'sensual' are just delusional.
posted by liam at 5:28 PM on September 25, 2004

uhhhhhhh ... i just got diabetes from looking at that cake ... thanks adrober
posted by pyramid termite at 6:03 PM on September 25, 2004

From the ingredients:

24. CaSO4, Calcium Sulfate Class: Sulfates Uses: in the manufacture of some cement, a source of sulfate for sulfuric acid. Anhydrite is a relatively common sedimentary mineral that forms massive rock layers. Anhydrite does not form directly, but is the result of the dewatering of the rock forming mineral Gypsum (CaSO4-2H2O). (Also called Plaster of Paris)

Hmmm...cementy goodness.
posted by iamck at 6:06 PM on September 25, 2004

I'm not supposed to get married because the poster hates Phil and Pam? I hate brussel sprouts, so you are prohibited from eating at Burger King. There. Now we're even.
posted by fleener at 6:42 PM on September 25, 2004

I have never eaten a Twinkie, and I hope to never eat a Twinkie.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:17 PM on September 25, 2004

I'm a Ho-Ho man myself.



*blinks*



Does that sound bad?
posted by Dick Paris at 7:32 PM on September 25, 2004

The format is little different than a croque en bouche.
posted by Dick Paris at 7:36 PM on September 25, 2004

No twinkie discussion is complete without a mention of the contribution to science made by fine young men at my alma mater.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 9:41 PM on September 25, 2004

Hmm.. now I have the munchies...
posted by Latitude11 at 10:54 PM on September 25, 2004

homer
posted by Satapher at 11:20 PM on September 25, 2004