My miserable life

October 6, 2004 7:16 PM

This is heartbreaking. My miserable life. Self explanatory. (from the non-blue)
posted by Turtles all the way down (14 comments total)

I'll get the party started:

I have an extremely rare progressive genetic disease which makes my hair grow in backwards. To the outside world I appear completely bald but beneath my skin I am tortured by millions of itchy, painful hairs. Since symptoms of my syndrome began presenting themselves in my 20s I have been able to function only by being under constant sedation.

Occasionally a particularly long hank of internal hair will wrap itself around an organ and strangle the blood supply causing enormous pain and necessitating a major operation. The hair which would ordinarily be on my head periodically forms a dense matted mass between my skull and menengis which must be removed via surgery. I must therefore undergo painful and risky brain surgery approximately once every three months.

Needless to say, sex is out of the question. What would normally have been pubic hair grew into my testicles
excruciatingly strangling their blood supply and swelling them to the size of grapefruit before they had to be removed. Anal hair encircled my colon and large intestine rendering them inoperable and necessitating a colostomy bag. The only thing that keeps me from killing myself is my deep faith in the almighty and morphine. Not necessarily in that order.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 7:28 PM on October 6, 2004

Wow. That cheered me up.
posted by iamck at 7:32 PM on October 6, 2004

Yup, there is more sadness on that site than I ever wish to encounter again. Without a doubt, living sucks for a lot of people. Other than that, I really don't know what to say.

I'll be honest, I'm not really comfortable with this post. Are we supposed to be empathetic, share similar stories, brag about how good our lives are? What? What good comes out of this post?
posted by ashbury at 7:33 PM on October 6, 2004

what do you mean by "party"?
posted by ashbury at 7:33 PM on October 6, 2004

My entire family was eaten by Black bears - Rupert, Pine Bluffs, TN, Age 19

My life sucks. I mean it. Check this out. I was born with one leg shorter then the other and all the kids in kindergarten called me club foot. I've never been with a girl mostly because of my terrible acne and my painfully difficult stutter. My entire family was eaten by Black bears (which brought on my stutter) on a trip to Yellowstone when I was 4. The bear gnawed my foot off (hence the club foot) So I was brought up an orphan. I was sexually and mentally abused for 10 years in the orphanage and often sold for sexual favors to Hillbillies from Tennessee. I was able to befriend one of the Hillbillies he sent me to school and fed me. I had to be his slave but it was worth it to get out of the unhealthy situation in the orphanage. Oh Billy Joe Bob is coming and I got to get off the 'puter and get back to work.


This makes me wonder just how many of the entries on the page are actually real.
posted by Evstar at 7:34 PM on October 6, 2004

What's with all the porno and viagra ads on the site? Helps add respect?
posted by Krrrlson at 7:36 PM on October 6, 2004

*runs to fetch world's smallest violin*
posted by jonmc at 7:39 PM on October 6, 2004

Free Dirty Stories | Masturbation Stories | Anal | Howard Stern | Sex Toy Store | Levitra Q&A

a valuable web resource indeed.
posted by quonsar at 7:40 PM on October 6, 2004

I call shenanigans. Call it a hunch.
posted by yhbc at 7:42 PM on October 6, 2004

And on preview, it looks like everyone else had the same damn hunch.
posted by yhbc at 7:43 PM on October 6, 2004

Oh and: Share Your Pain (please try to be brief): MILF
posted by Krrrlson at 7:43 PM on October 6, 2004

Well, some of them are obviously fake, like that posted by Evstar. Some are less obviously fake, like the one quoted in my first comment. (I'm almost 100% certain that ingrown pubic hairs will not strangle your emerging gonads causing them to swell to the size of grapefruits and require their removal.) But, as for many of the remainder, I'm struck by the sense of quiet desperation they evoke--people who really are enduring, for whatever reason or capricious turn of fate, unbelievably shitty lives. That was the reason for the post. Best of the web? Probably not, but I was moved to share it.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 7:46 PM on October 6, 2004

Turtles, that shows obvious compassion, which is admirable, but in an internet full of attention whores, I'd suspect that most of the stories are, if not fake, are at least exaggerated. And I'm personally acquainted with many people whose stories make these look like a day at Six Flags over The Poconos. Almost everybody's life is shitty if you look at it from the "right" perspective. Ultimately, many of us come to the conclusion that everybody's got problems and that the best anybody can do is make do with the circumstances they're dealt.
posted by jonmc at 7:51 PM on October 6, 2004

Having "ads" for Viagra, hentai and sex toys at the top of the page made the whole thing a bit creepy.
posted by clevershark at 7:54 PM on October 6, 2004