schizoid personality disorder, bi-polar disorder, and sociopathic tendencies. oh my!

October 7, 2004 10:56 AM

Is John Kerry Mentally ILL?
"To put our concerns to rest, we send an anonymous profile of John Kerry to a panel of leading Psychologists and Psychiatrists, both Democrat and Republican, Left and Right, without letting them know they were evaluating a Presidential candidate. The results will SHOCK YOU, regardless of your political beliefs, just like it shocked us."
posted by quonsar (61 comments total)

Pure Karl Rove-ian smear campaign. You may ignore...
posted by camworld at 11:01 AM on October 7, 2004

I look forward to reading the results of Mr Bush's profile that was sent to these psychologists, so I can compare the two.
posted by DrDoberman at 11:01 AM on October 7, 2004

Hahah, their 'list of symptoms' sounds like an average politicitian.

The way things are going, you'd have to be a little nuts to want to be the prez.
posted by delmoi at 11:01 AM on October 7, 2004

OMG! I am shocked! I'm so glad you posted that link before it was too late. America could have been in serious trouble. It would be awful to have a president who was mentally ILL.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 11:02 AM on October 7, 2004

pussylittlebullshitcowards who can't even be bothered to make up a witty name. In addition to general retardedness, they should be publicly flayed for their abuse of graphic design. There's a civil war coming in this country.
posted by DenOfSizer at 11:05 AM on October 7, 2004

Don't "they" (you know, the canonical 'they') say that anybody who wants to be president should be automatically disqualified?

Plus, the site is self-evidently crap. /s/kerry/bush/g and it'll still make scary sense. Not even good parody.
posted by Dipsomaniac at 11:05 AM on October 7, 2004

A bad possibility is better than a bad certainty.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 11:05 AM on October 7, 2004

Nothing says credibility like large text in bright purple italics.
posted by cmicali at 11:08 AM on October 7, 2004

That profile by the anonymous therapists fits the profile of my grandmother. She was told she needed meds but they were too expensive. But Cal legislators passed a law that would allow her to get medication via Canada. Alas, the girlgroper steroid govenor vetoed the bill. Poor grandmother. She wqas a compassionate conservative and now she is a raving looney
posted by Postroad at 11:10 AM on October 7, 2004

If Kerry's mentally ill and still presents a better vision of America than the obviously deranged Bush, what's wrong with it?

Everyone's got some mental defect to some degree or another.

And yes, this FPP is about the worst piece of crap I've seen in a very long time. Nicely done, quonsar, I think I get the joke but am still waiting to make sure it IS a joke.
posted by fenriq at 11:10 AM on October 7, 2004

Does your office have people who think the funniest thing in the world is to "push your buttons", usually by doing something annoying or stupid over and over again? They think it's really funny, because it bugs you. Your secret is that it's not funny at all and you learned how to deal with people like that in grade school, but you get the sense that it's one of the few joys of their lives, so you play along by nodding and smiling, or just ignoring until they go away. I think the majority of political propaganda this year is created and propagated by those guys.
posted by milovoo at 11:12 AM on October 7, 2004

The Weekly World News is gonna be so pissed that they were scooped on this; just think, they thought that King Jong Il turning cannibal was more newsworthy. Suckers.
posted by junkbox at 11:13 AM on October 7, 2004

Was Kerry in The Shit?
posted by mathowie at 11:17 AM on October 7, 2004

Can we get a diagnosis of the webmaster based on his clearly pathological design choices? I think that the use of oversized, bold, italic, pink text may indicate sociopathic personality disorder.
posted by mr_roboto at 11:17 AM on October 7, 2004

Neocons are such wacky folks. They tell funny lies.
posted by fleener at 11:17 AM on October 7, 2004

Thomas Eagleton, U.S. senator of Missouri
posted by matteo at 11:21 AM on October 7, 2004

did Betty Bowers write that?
posted by oninochuck at 11:22 AM on October 7, 2004

"To put our concerns to rest, we forwarded this URL to noted graphic designers both Democrat and Republican, Left and Right, without letting them know they were evaluating a shitty website. The results will SHOCK YOU, regardless of your eye for color, just like it shocked us."
posted by jalexei at 11:24 AM on October 7, 2004

So.. they made up a profile by saying stuff they thought Kerry would think/say/do or whatever, and sent it in?

This I'd love to read... How come they don't post what they sent in to the evaluators? I bet it's entertaining!
posted by twiggy at 11:31 AM on October 7, 2004

Remind me. Is Kerry Jack Nicholson or the Native American guy?

This is an ideal way to scam freepers. Wherever they are, I hope the hosts of this site are spending their donations on hookers and blow.
posted by octobersurprise at 11:31 AM on October 7, 2004

Bullshit. All they did was send them a loaded profile that the Republicans have painted Kerry as. I'm sure you could make an equally bad profile for Bush.
posted by jeblis at 11:32 AM on October 7, 2004

Why spread the word of such a piece of shit site?
posted by wsg at 11:33 AM on October 7, 2004

It seems, and I have no first-hand information, but it seems that two can play the "smear-your-own-side-clumsily" game. Difference here is, no one's writing off Dan Rather's 40+ years as a respected journalist this time.
posted by chicobangs at 11:35 AM on October 7, 2004

This just in - replay of Jimmy Carter and the rabbit* ? Bush flees from huge escaped hamster!









*Note : That wabbit actually could have been a nutria, while the giant hamster which routed Bush during the first presidential debate may have actually been a US Presidential candidate - or even a Big Bunny.
posted by troutfishing at 11:36 AM on October 7, 2004

Why spread the word of such a piece of shit site?

Because it's comical in how bad it is? Did people forget how to laugh at themselves, and their candidates?
posted by mathowie at 11:43 AM on October 7, 2004

Kerry isn't mentally ill.

Now anyone VOTING for him, now......


(I kid, because I love....)
posted by konolia at 11:47 AM on October 7, 2004

This is funny.
Even though it isn't intended to be.
May they have great luck with getting donations from the suckers freepers.
posted by nofundy at 11:49 AM on October 7, 2004

HAHAHA. What a funny troll! Slant and false perceptions aside, it is also about context. What would leading psychologists say about a man who eats another man's flesh? (You know where I'm heading with this... crazed nutball, or keen survivalist?)
posted by jmccorm at 11:50 AM on October 7, 2004

Why spread the word of such a piece of shit site?

Because it's comical in how bad it is? Did people forget how to laugh at themselves, and their candidates?

I didn't find it funny, just despicable.

And to prove I can laugh at my candidate:

John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?"
posted by wsg at 11:53 AM on October 7, 2004

- or even a Big Bunny.
posted by matteo at 11:57 AM on October 7, 2004

From a comment left on my site by a wanna be MeFite:

Impulse626: "The "Mentally Ill Kerry" post on MeFi is bull. Go to http://shelterangel.org. You find that ETI/PSU (who will receive the donations from the Mentally Ill page) call themselves Ethical Treatment Institute at Phoenix State University. I think both sites are scams. One to fleece liberals, another to fleece conservatives... I really want a MeFi account!!!"
posted by fenriq at 12:07 PM on October 7, 2004

what makes it funny is the large amount and variety of discussion of Bush's mental health going back a few years now.
posted by amberglow at 12:07 PM on October 7, 2004

We discussed whether Bush was a sociopath here.

(Most posters thought that was pretty silly, too.)
posted by callmejay at 12:14 PM on October 7, 2004

wow, did they steal the css file from Time Cube?
posted by lumpenprole at 12:16 PM on October 7, 2004

Funny.... I looked at that page for a long time...moved my mouse around all over the page.... So then (since I'm running Firefox with the DOM Inspector activated) I fired up DOM inspector and browsed through all the nodes to see if maybe I wasn't just missing somthing... and gosh darnit, those guys forgot to link to the actual profile!

Must have just slipped their minds. Oh, well, I'm sure it was legit, and they'll be posting the profile and giving out the names of those "psychiatrists" any day, now.

And of course, I, too, join the group of people who wait eagerly to read the profile of GWB that they'll submit for the same analysis.
posted by lodurr at 12:23 PM on October 7, 2004

"To put our concerns to rest, we send an anonymous profile of a couple of Bush supporters to a panel of leading Psychologists and Psychiatrists..."


posted by 327.ca at 12:25 PM on October 7, 2004

the sheer number of mefites (and non-mefites!) who feel compelled to "explain" this site to others amuses, and presents as strongly indicative of an acute loss of perspective aggravated by a mild hysteria. fortunately, y'all have me to help keep your politico-cranial housekeeping up to snuff.
posted by quonsar at 12:32 PM on October 7, 2004

Maybe, but Is Bush Wired?
posted by malphigian at 12:43 PM on October 7, 2004

Oh, who to laugh at... so many choices.
posted by Krrrlson at 12:50 PM on October 7, 2004

-- Pathological Lying

-- Inability to stay with a belief or value consistently

-- Willingness to change positions to please people

-- Desire to win at any cost, including ethical instability and inconsistency

-- Choosing intimate relationships for personal gain rather than interpersonal connection

-- Willingness to betray close personal friends to succeed

-- Emotional distance

-- Feelings of superiority coupled with underlying low self esteem

Hey, I know a lot of people like that!
posted by SpaceCadet at 12:50 PM on October 7, 2004

Dubya suffers from Oedipus complex.

He'll show mommy that he's a better man than daddy if it kills us all.

fortunately, y'all have me to help keep your politico-cranial housekeeping up to snuff.
posted by quonsar at 12:32 PM PST on October 7

And I, for one, appreciate that.
posted by nofundy at 12:51 PM on October 7, 2004

This is another website from Tom Halstead. Halstead appears on the Whois for http://www.bestsitesdaily.com .

If you were curious about Best Sites Daily, don't be. I'll sum it up by quoting the Simpsons Archive:


Homer: Here it is everybody! The world's greatest web site!
[a highly annoying newbie web page, complete with several
clashing sounds, is seen]
You'd think all the noises would be annoying, but they're
not.
Bart: I got suspended from school today.
Homer: No kidding [obviously ignoring and then continuing to
ignore Bart] What do you think of my page, Lisa? Be
honest, it's great, isn't it? Go ahead, say it's great if
you want to.
Bart: They found a switchblade in my locker.
Lisa: Well, a web page is supposed to be a personal thing.
You've just stolen copyrighted material from everyone
else. They could sue you for that.
Bart: I took a swing at a cop.
Homer: They can't sue me if they don't know who I am. I'll just
call myself Mr. "X".
Bart: I'm just mad all the time.
Homer: Yep, you just can't go wrong with Mr. "X".

posted by thanotopsis at 12:53 PM on October 7, 2004

I reckon it was set up by Kerry supporters to make GOPers look like wackos.

Source says 'Web Designer -- Aaron B. Case -- 110102.' Here's another Aaron B. Case, web designer. And a thread mentioning an Aaron B. Case, web designer. And some spam from Aaron B. Case?

*polishes mefi junior detective badge*
posted by carter at 1:03 PM on October 7, 2004

Metafilter. Quonsar spoiled the party.
posted by ed at 1:05 PM on October 7, 2004

And I, for one, appreciate that.

Well, that's good, nofundy, 'cause if you'd said, "I, for (n>1)", we'd have to set you down with that panel of Psychologists and Psychiatrists.
posted by 327.ca at 1:08 PM on October 7, 2004

From: Here's another Aaron B. Case, web designer.

Please note that you are viewing a reduced-fuction version of this web site.
Please use Windows Internet Explorer to view the site in its fully functional state.

Gee. Aaron's gonna buy me Windows so I can view his site?
posted by rough ashlar at 1:51 PM on October 7, 2004

"...reduced-fuction..."

I hear there's a little blue pill you can take for that.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:57 PM on October 7, 2004

Jesus Christ has come down to earth, and he's up on Quonsar's roof shooting disintegration rays out of his eyes.

I think Quonsar's a little freaked out, but overall he's taking it quite well.

Jesus doesn't quite look like he does in pictures - all blond, blue eyed and Nordic : he looks like a cross between a half gallon of milk, a weird fungal growth, and the Pillsbury Dough Boy, and mean too.
posted by troutfishing at 2:11 PM on October 7, 2004

Please use Windows Internet Explorer to view the site in its fully functional state.

And he thinks Kerry is mentally ill?
posted by eustacescrubb at 2:59 PM on October 7, 2004

Wow! a new low! SHOCKING!
posted by johnnydark at 3:01 PM on October 7, 2004

Two mutually smart people, who are mutually alone, never become mutually attracted to one another after tragedy of a mutual loved one... never.

Senator Heinz was a close personal friend for years of kerry, after he died in that plane crash Kerry and and Teresa become more than friends... yeah thats really thinking of personal gain, she's not a cool person or anything, she certainly doesn't have a brain or anything speaking five or something languages and being an UN Envoy. Hell she's probably smarter than HE is and he's a near genius. (Unlike Monkey Boy Bush...)
posted by Dome-O-Rama at 3:22 PM on October 7, 2004

All great psychological diagnosis ends with the words .
posted by Peter H at 3:36 PM on October 7, 2004

It's frames, not css.... i looked at the code.... tables too for the site.
posted by sourbrew at 4:05 PM on October 7, 2004

I've had it pointed out to me via email that the Phoenix State University referenced above does not exist. Damn, when will the lies end?

In other news, John Kerry's addicted to oxygen, food and water.
posted by fenriq at 4:55 PM on October 7, 2004

he's a near genius

Yeah he's so damned smart that he decided to volunteer for Vietnam and run for President.
posted by gyc at 5:26 PM on October 7, 2004

I hear that Kerry masticates several times daily. Not only that, he's an admitted omnivore!

This way to the egress, ladies and gentlemen.
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:40 PM on October 7, 2004

Does he shamelessly expose his epidermis to small children?
posted by Krrrlson at 6:23 PM on October 7, 2004

Kerry matriculated at Yale and practiced celibacy before marriage.
posted by rdone at 6:33 PM on October 7, 2004

i love it when y'all talk dirty.
posted by quonsar at 6:44 PM on October 7, 2004

Kerry gesticulates when speaking and has a marked tendency towards prolixity at times.
posted by Skygazer at 8:43 PM on October 7, 2004

That was for you Quonsar.
posted by Skygazer at 8:45 PM on October 7, 2004