Can you download thre internet to this floppy for me?

October 11, 2004 6:30 PM

Clientcopia - Stupid things clients say. ex: Please also put a landlord hat on the landlord.
posted by Mick (25 comments total)

"less creativity, bigger pictures"

Awesome.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:49 PM on October 11, 2004

I've seen these all somewhere else, is it a new interface for old content or have they ripped someone off?
posted by tiamat at 7:00 PM on October 11, 2004

http://www.tofslie.com/clientquotes.htm

The original, easier to read version.
posted by ae4rv at 7:01 PM on October 11, 2004

Most surreal client comment from my workplace: "this looks good. Now, could you add a monkey playing the banjo riding on a unicorn jumping over the 'u'?"
posted by weston at 7:06 PM on October 11, 2004

So, what other programs do you know?"
"Well, I did a course on the Adobe."
"Er, was that Adobe Photoshop?"
"No, no. Just the Adobe..."

From McMCSE to McAdobe the step is soooo short..superfired !
posted by elpapacito at 7:17 PM on October 11, 2004

Come on, weston—can you think of a single site that wouldn't improve?
posted by kenko at 7:24 PM on October 11, 2004

dreamless.org. man, how the time passes.
posted by gwint at 7:33 PM on October 11, 2004

Clientcopia is the next generation of the original thread once found on dreamless.org, which we respectfully pay homage to.

Ooooh, I'm so using that one. I wasn't stealing music, Mr. RIAA, I was paying homage to all those wonderful mp3 files!
posted by ook at 7:41 PM on October 11, 2004

Yeah, many of those entries remind me of why dreamless died.

There are just as many stupid designers represented on that site as there are "stupid clients."
posted by danny the boy at 7:43 PM on October 11, 2004

*yawn*
posted by krisjohn at 8:03 PM on October 11, 2004

This made me laugh, rather than yawn:

Me: I'm a designer, that's what I do, that's what you pay me for: to design. Sometimes you may want to listen to what I'm saying.

Client: I know design. I study Rave fliers all the time. I've been to over 300 websites this year!

The internets are funny.
posted by interrobang at 8:09 PM on October 11, 2004

"This site doesn't work when I turn javascript off"

Actually, that's an observant client.
posted by gimonca at 8:15 PM on October 11, 2004

*sigh* Those golden years...
posted by X-00 at 8:16 PM on October 11, 2004

I have to also say that the logo is brilliant: it simultaneously looks like an exasperated guy with his head held down in frustration, and a headless executive sitting in front of a computer.
posted by interrobang at 8:23 PM on October 11, 2004

client -
"I don't care if it doesn't work in netscape I want it"
me -
"uhh.. Yeah, no uses Netscape anyway." ;x
client (2 weeks later) -
"It looks all broken!"
me -
"Huh? Nothing looks wrong on my end. ..blah
blah blah... What version IE are you using?"
client -
"Netscape"

We once thought the Internet would bring us groceries to our houses, feed our children and make love to us in a very distant, post-modern way. It has failed us!
posted by geoff. at 8:50 PM on October 11, 2004

Even for the year 2000 when this thread originally appeared, some of those designers were as clueless as the clients.
posted by mischief at 9:21 PM on October 11, 2004

I'm glad everyone seems to know this is just a re-hash of the old dreamless thread. :)

Yes, some of the designers were idiots themselves - but many did have truly moronic clients.

I myself have had the experience of a client who, after working as our main liason on a web project for six months, still had to phone our designer (during a presentation to her boss) to ask which icon to click to load internet explorer.

It's easy to go too far the other way and say that the designer is supposed to be the one with the knowledge, who explains everything and provides choices etc. But when I go to a restaurant, the waiter is allowed to assume that I know the difference between white bread and brown bread, where different meats come from, how various vegetables taste.. you know, the basics.
posted by cell at 11:41 PM on October 11, 2004

"How many goddman times do I have to tell you to put descriptions with the products?"

"You're supposed to email the descriptions you want."

"Oh, yeah. Never mind."

Clients. Gotta love 'em.
posted by damnitkage at 2:56 AM on October 12, 2004

The dreamless thread is always worth an annual revisit. Thanks...
posted by nthdegx at 3:22 AM on October 12, 2004

If a lot of those comments were dead accurate, then there are some designers there who missed out on some serious sales opportunities. Like the guy who griped about DVD load time. That was a customer who needed education. Saying "that's impossible" (whether it's true or not) will lose you the business every time.
posted by TeamBilly at 4:51 AM on October 12, 2004

I'm still trying to picture a landlord hat. All I can come up with is the kind of fedora you'd see a newspaper reporter wearing, with the word LANDLORD in the hatband where you'd normally see the PRESS pass.

Have I just sufficiently disqualified myself as a Web designer?
posted by alumshubby at 8:34 AM on October 12, 2004

"Can we split up our list of quotes so you have to load a new page for each one? Plus can we have this banner on every page? And make it in Flash?"
posted by kurumi at 10:57 AM on October 12, 2004

thanks kurumi, you took the words right out of my mouth. The terrible interface of a website concerning bad design choices and stupid decisions is indeed some kind of cosmic irony. Also, the fact that this link is basically 4 years old kinda takes away from the fpp.
posted by bob sarabia at 2:16 PM on October 12, 2004

The longer I'm in business for myself, the more I am annoyed by this syndrome of hating/denigrating the client. I mean, they're your client. They're paying YOU to know stuff and help them. Being a snarky butthole about it just makes you look like a big fat jerk.


*cowers in corner*
posted by glenwood at 6:27 PM on October 12, 2004

Exactly. If the client knew what you know, they wouldn't need you in the first place.

Even the "Why haven't you done X?" "Because you were supposed to provide Y." "Oh." stuff is pretty lame; it suggests you haven't been clear in your communication with the client about what they need to provide.
posted by ook at 11:00 AM on October 15, 2004