America at 10 MPH

October 14, 2004 12:55 PM

America at 10 MPH: Josh Caldwell is riding a Segway from Seattle to Boston. He's already gone over 2800 miles. [This project is independent of Segway.]
posted by kirkaracha (30 comments total)

That's 2800 miles of looking like a complete asshole.
posted by xmutex at 1:09 PM on October 14, 2004

To force us to slow down, take a different road, and capture people's attention...

Say no more.
posted by 327.ca at 1:09 PM on October 14, 2004

What a lazy tosser. Why can't he walk, cycle or run it like real marathon blog people do?
posted by SpaceCadet at 1:11 PM on October 14, 2004

A sort of post-dot-com blue highways?
posted by shoepal at 1:14 PM on October 14, 2004

Can the ending of Easy Rider be far behind?
posted by tommasz at 1:38 PM on October 14, 2004

You know success is at your doorstep when we've got someone who will spend the energy you do trying (very unsuccessfully) to flatten our morale.

I toast them for having the balls to dump the cozy warmth of the rat race and do something to push their individual envelopes. When was the last time any of you critics did that?
posted by yoga at 1:39 PM on October 14, 2004

I'm sorry, but a segway? Cmon. I respect his balls to do it, but thats it.
posted by Keyser Soze at 2:23 PM on October 14, 2004

When was the last time any of you critics did that?

I ate a bug a couple days ago. on purpose. hows that for pushing the envelope?
posted by bob sarabia at 2:43 PM on October 14, 2004

Dude, he skipped the Southwest. What kind of crazy person sets out to see the country and skips the southwest... but makes sure they go through Kansas? Not that I don't love the Midwest myself, but man.

Also, he's skipping Virginia? For New Jersey?
posted by weston at 2:44 PM on October 14, 2004

I don't know--I quit my fast-track job so I would have more time to write novels, do volunteer work, and hang out with my husband/family/godchildren/friends. Not to mention traveling to amazing places (Easter Island, for example) by myself.

But hey, little did I know that putting together some retarded cross-country publicity stunt was the new self-actualization. Woo-hoo! Bring on the flagpole-sitters, goldfish-swallowers, and dance marathons.

I mean, sweet mother of Baal. Writing a book about your metaphysical experiences in a cabin in the woods = interesting. Writing a blog about your experiences riding an overpriced scooter from one Nerdsville to another = pathetic Zeitgeist victim desperate for attention.
posted by Sidhedevil at 2:47 PM on October 14, 2004

Actually, that was just a huge wave of scorn because yoga's post pushed my buttons.

I think it's fine that he's doing this. It's probably more fun for him than working as a consultant at McKinsey or whatever it is that the kids do today, and he'll probably learn more useful stuff, too.

However, I'm not going to acclaim him as some modern-day Thoreau. There's nothing wrong with being a kid with a quirky hobby, though.
posted by Sidhedevil at 2:50 PM on October 14, 2004

And that wasn't meant to be a critique of yoga's post, either. Just an acknowlegement that my buttons are, er, kind of tender right now...


....is there any chocolate?
posted by Sidhedevil at 2:53 PM on October 14, 2004

I toast them for having the balls to dump the cozy warmth of the rat race and do something to push their individual envelopes. When was the last time any of you critics did that?

God, I love a challenge.


posted by 327.ca at 3:06 PM on October 14, 2004

Can the ending of Easy Rider be far behind?

HA!
posted by Ufez Jones at 3:12 PM on October 14, 2004

Impressive, 327ca. And on corduroy, no less.
posted by Sidhedevil at 3:46 PM on October 14, 2004

*frantically searches for novel, extended vacation that will attract corporate sponsorship*
posted by 4easypayments at 3:56 PM on October 14, 2004

I note that he seems to be avoiding New York City.

Shame. It'd be nice to have our first Segwayjacking.
posted by jonmc at 4:39 PM on October 14, 2004

A snark with accompanying visual diagram! It doesn't get much better than that. 327.ca, you win.
posted by shoepal at 4:41 PM on October 14, 2004

Hey yoga, we just had a baby, does that count as pushing the envelope or has it been done to death already?

Tell you what? Once I've paid off my house and have a million or so in the bank, I'll drop out of the rat race and ride a Razor scooter cross country if it'll make you happy.

Segway's are goofy as fuck looking. And I'd get bored to tears standing on it and watching that mileage ever so slowly creep higher. Ten miles an hour means the absolutely furthest he could go in a day is 240 miles. And that's standing up for 24 hours! They'd be better served to walk the country but then they wouldn't have gotten the documentarians interested.

Marketing ploy, bleh!
posted by fenriq at 4:50 PM on October 14, 2004

I ate a bug a couple days ago. on purpose. hows that for pushing the envelope?

Did you tell your mommy about it?

[applauding fenriq for the ultimate in envelope pushing. are *you* happy?]

And 327.a, your nails need filing.
posted by yoga at 5:53 PM on October 14, 2004

Metafilter: my buttons are, er, kind of tender right now
posted by namespan at 6:10 PM on October 14, 2004

Y'know, I'll bet you anything that when Steve Jobs heard about this project, he shit his pants!
posted by soyjoy at 6:42 PM on October 14, 2004

A sort of post-dot-com blue highways?

Don't you blaspheme in here. Don't you blaspheme in here. ..you...are gonna turn around and walk right out of here - without your dry white toast, without your four fried chickens, and withOUT your comparison of a great American writer with a fool on a pretentious, overhyped scooter.

aside: West to East? Enjoy the headwind asshat.
posted by m@ at 8:26 PM on October 14, 2004

note to aside: prevailing winds are generally westerly in the US.
posted by cardboard at 9:00 PM on October 14, 2004

The next time someone asks a question remotely like "how can anyone in the world hate America?" I will be thinking of this. Some loser from New Mexico with nothing more to do with his time than lazily ride across the most powerful country in the world on a Segway. We climb mountains and ride Segways and bomb third world nations just cuz they're there. We are a lazy, slothful, ethnocentric lot. And don't tell me how Segways are environmentally safe and ecologically blah blah I don't care.
posted by ZachsMind at 9:14 PM on October 14, 2004

Did that anthropocentric God wane with his thoughts and beliefs all unseen? I don't think so, hes up there with the others laying low.
posted by Keyser Soze at 9:22 PM on October 14, 2004

The best use of a Segway ever is in Arrested Development.
posted by The God Complex at 11:38 PM on October 14, 2004

Sidhedevil precisely in 3 emails expressed the 3 minute-evolution of my reaction to this post. Uncanny! One of us must be implanted with this thingy...


Counting down 30 seconds before all memory of this commercial project is completely erased from my mind by indifference...
posted by sic at 3:08 AM on October 15, 2004

Y'know, there are assholes (and I use the term lovingly) who ride things like 250cc scooters (and full size bikes, but it's the scooters that crack me up) all over the country in the Iron Butt Rally every two years.

This makes me think that if he souped-up the Segway to do something like, 70 mph, and tried to ride 10,000-11,000 miles in two weeks, it would be palatable.

But hey, if I had the time to do something quirky like that, I probably would.

Instead of foolishly sqandering my resources on food and heat.

I'm just sayin....
posted by TeamBilly at 7:00 AM on October 15, 2004

Sic, that is scary. I'm just a weathervane for the Zeitgeist, though.

ZachsMind, you reminded me of a wonderful comedy routine that I heard years ago (and can't remember who it was doing it):

People ask, "Why do other countries hate America?" I know why other countries hate America. Mr. Potato Head.

I mean, think about it. Imagine going up to some kid in a famine zone somewhere. "Look, Ootoo. Here's a potato." "Potato!" "Now, what do you think we do with this potato?" "Eat potato! Ootoo eat potato!" "No, no, Ootoo. We play with the potato." "No eat potato? Ootoo hate Americans!"
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:53 AM on October 15, 2004