51 Thoughts on the Apparent Sexiness of John Edwards

October 18, 2004 7:37 PM

51 Thoughts on the Apparent Sexiness of John Edwards from nerve.com - hilarious & (generally) SFW,

my favorite:

5. Bill Clinton, of course, was sexy in the former sense. He was sexy in the dangerous, you'd-like-to-sleep-with-him sense. Actually, Bill Clinton was sexy in the dangerous, you'd-like-to-sleep-with-him, and-after-you-slept-with-him, he-slept-with-your-roommate sense.

6. But we miss that playa, don't we?
posted by lilboo (24 comments total)

52. There's a ... thing growing on his mouth.
posted by Stan Chin at 7:47 PM on October 18, 2004

53. Using sexy over and over again equals instant funny.
posted by Stan Chin at 7:48 PM on October 18, 2004

Granted, Stan it's not the comic masterpise, as tipified by your "Cum vs. Moisturizer" thread, but I thought it had some charm...
posted by lilboo at 7:59 PM on October 18, 2004

54. My Cum vs. Moisturizer thread was sexy and charming.
posted by Stan Chin at 8:03 PM on October 18, 2004

very good! He is very Tegrin or good doc on General Hospital--he wouldn't have ever been a Quartermain or raping Laura or anything. He would have been the type to try to rescue Bobbie. ; >

42. Edwards recently posed for the cover of Runner's World, wearing a T-shirt tucked into his shorts. Not sexy at all.
they didn't mention his legs!?! mmmm
posted by amberglow at 8:05 PM on October 18, 2004

Peter Boyle could sex up John Kerry.
anyone left with a mental image of the closing shots from young frankenstein on this one?

pardon me, i must go look at puppies to wash the image of kerry in a negligee and bride of frankenstein 'do from my head...
posted by pxe2000 at 8:11 PM on October 18, 2004

they say Kerry's hung like a horse, so i guess he doesn't need to be sexy.
posted by amberglow at 8:12 PM on October 18, 2004

I thought it was funny. Thanks, lilboo.
I actually do have kind of a thing for Kerry. For god's sake, don't tell anyone.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 8:17 PM on October 18, 2004

Damn it, Amberglow.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 8:18 PM on October 18, 2004

lol! you're just a size queen, i guess ; >
posted by amberglow at 8:19 PM on October 18, 2004

Heh. It's a bonus.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 8:26 PM on October 18, 2004

Thanks LMC. And even if you (Stan) don't find it funny, at least it was informative. I mean who knew John Kerry and Morgan Fairchild were once an item? (Kinda gross, actually...)
posted by lilboo at 8:27 PM on October 18, 2004

Did they really need to bring up Howard Jones? Now I have to play some old Steely Dan songs over and over to get that earworm out of my head.

And everybody knows what really matters is the size of your Electors...
posted by wendell at 8:28 PM on October 18, 2004

My mom walked by John Edwards in a Walgreens shortly before the Iowa primaries. She said that he smells good.
posted by mikeh at 8:30 PM on October 18, 2004

Are you guys about done sniffing his throne?

/tucker carlson
posted by dhoyt at 8:56 PM on October 18, 2004

Damn it, Amberglow.

For God's sake, he's a hundred feet tall.
posted by Space Coyote at 9:05 PM on October 18, 2004

LittleMissCranky, I won't tell if you won't. pinky swear.
posted by whatnot at 9:09 PM on October 18, 2004

and meanwhile, all the talk is of Bush's bulge...lol
posted by amberglow at 9:13 PM on October 18, 2004

what's wrong with Howard Jones?
posted by NationalKato at 9:19 PM on October 18, 2004

This reads like it started out as an article and became a list as the guy got drunk.
posted by interrobang at 9:55 PM on October 18, 2004

37. It's weird how no one finds John Kerry sexy any more

Tall, dark and intelligent is exactly my cup of tea.

Edwards, on the other hand, is boyishly attractive a la Ken Doll. Not sexy, but cute. Appealing to those who find raw sexuality frightening. Clay Aiken vs. Dave Navarro.

And the whole Big Schlong Thing?
Looking at Big Schlong= arousing
Sex with Big Schlong= painful
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:07 AM on October 19, 2004

Only if the noun "sex" conjures up one single unimaginative act, my dear.

I must say, John Edwards is the closest I've ever come to wanting to take a shower with a vice-president.

Meanwhile:

Baghdad Burns While American Electorate Debates Candidates' "Packages"
posted by digaman at 8:57 AM on October 19, 2004

Actually, I've had several self-described feminist, politically aware women (a few of whom claim to have met Clinton) admit that they'd "hit it."

Either that "power is an aphrodisiac" thing is true (doubtful since I've never met even a republican woman who syas she do G.W.) or women are simply impossible to understand.
posted by jonmc at 9:56 AM on October 19, 2004

Way back in 1999, my (female, heterosexual) roommate at the time argued that Bush would win against Gore because of "his twinkling eyes." I vehemently disagreed. The rest, sadly, is history.
posted by skoosh at 7:23 PM on October 19, 2004