Food Patriots Launch Pie Assault on Ann Coulter

October 25, 2004 12:06 PM

"Al Pieda" Targets Ann Coulter
Members of the notorious culinary terrorist group "Al Pieda" launched an attack on Ann Coulter while she was speaking at the University of Arizona. The report says some pie got on her face but attendants were able to wipe it off before she received any nutrional value from the pie.
Not to be confused with the notorious math group "Al Gebra", who would have probably thrown a slide rule at her.
posted by fenriq (26 comments total)

Interesting. We have videotape of a guy kicking a restrained woman in the head at the Republican National Convention and we apparently can't even send out someone to ask questions. But when it comes to pies, we'll spare no expense.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 12:34 PM on October 25, 2004

sniff...now my feelings are hurt.
posted by Otis at 12:35 PM on October 25, 2004

Here's the actual video, from the site I FPP'd this morning.
posted by digaman at 6:06 PM on October 25, 2004

I see that Coulter's attackers were plucked from the barbershop before their photos were taken.
posted by Kwantsar at 6:28 PM on October 25, 2004

Dorks attack bitch. The Smoking Gun is there.
posted by dhoyt at 6:37 PM on October 25, 2004

They need to go back to their pie-throwing terrorist camp and work on their aim. A glancing blow to the shoulder is simply not good enough.
posted by rks404 at 7:00 PM on October 25, 2004

I'd hit it.
posted by frenetic at 7:19 PM on October 25, 2004

$2000 in damage! What was in those pies? Note page 2, paragraph 2, in which Officer Valenzuela endeavors to determine just who made the pies (with no luck). I also noted the ironic typo that the damage was to a "muslim scrim."
See?!? It is a war on Islam!
posted by mmahaffie at 7:24 PM on October 25, 2004

I'd hit it.

You mean the pie, right? ; >
posted by amberglow at 7:26 PM on October 25, 2004

clearly there should have been a second wave of twice as many nerds collegians waiting once the dust cleared

then we'd have our money shot.
posted by tsarfan at 7:36 PM on October 25, 2004

Al Manaq was unavailable for comment, saying, "We'll table that. Can we calendar for later?"

Also, please note: the pies were cream pies.
posted by mwhybark at 7:52 PM on October 25, 2004

She needs pie. Or any other form of nutrition. To paraphrase Mrs. Pat Campbell, "One day she'll eat a pork chop, then God help all humankind!"
posted by Sidhedevil at 7:54 PM on October 25, 2004

Damn, this happened not 2 miles from my house and I missed it. Oh yeah, I'm not batshit crazy enough to go hear Ann Coulter speak. And I don't mean good batshit crazy like Hunter S Thompson either.
posted by TungstenChef at 8:03 PM on October 25, 2004

All this hate for transexuals is getting out of control! Err, what? That's not a man? But, but, the Adam's apple?

ewww

Seriously, better a pie than a baseball bat:

Ann Coulter: "I think a baseball bat is the most effective way these days" (to talk to liberals)
posted by skallas at 8:29 PM on October 25, 2004

I'd be afraid to creampie her. Poor sperm...
posted by notsnot at 8:33 PM on October 25, 2004

Ann Coulter may be a travesty of humanity, as unacceptable a hank of flesh draped on a hanger ever to be foisted upon an ignorant populace hungry for more ignorance. Her racism, her character slurs, her whirlwind talent for rewriting history, her ability to leave a glossy coat of slime on any issue she discusses (when she licks a stamp, it curls up and dies), these are condemnable.

But credit where credit is due. The skank can shift ass on a dime.

When a pair of hooligans tried to attack her with pies during a speaking appearance, an episode broadcast on cable news today, Coulter didn't freeze like a deer in the headlights. She showed lightning reflexes, ducking away from the lectern and running backstage on high heels, which any woman will tell you is difficult to do. Because of her quick getaway, the flying pies wildly missed their target, sparing her a humiliating cream pie bukkake facial that would have made the papers and been downloaded millions of times on the internet. -- James Wolcott, saying out loud what most of us (notsnot excepted) were merely thinking.
posted by dhartung at 8:48 PM on October 25, 2004

Ann Coulter is undeserving of any pie that might be hoisted upon her - with the exception of pecan.
posted by quadog at 11:09 PM on October 25, 2004

Ann Coulter may be a travesty of humanity, as unacceptable a hank of flesh draped on a hanger ever to be foisted upon an ignorant populace hungry for more ignorance. Her racism, her character slurs, her whirlwind talent for rewriting history, her ability to leave a glossy coat of slime on any issue she discusses (when she licks a stamp, it curls up and dies), these are condemnable.

dhartung has revealed a lyrical side of which I was previously unaware.

*applauds*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:15 PM on October 25, 2004

He quoted someone else, you ninny!
posted by The God Complex at 11:45 PM on October 25, 2004

What's this? Ann Coulter bukkake....?

[...continues dreaming....]
posted by zaelic at 2:10 AM on October 26, 2004

"Ummmmmmmm pie".
posted by DrDoberman at 2:50 AM on October 26, 2004

I think the only pie that would work on Ann would have to be humble pie, that is a pie filled with pig entrails.

dhartung, I'll give her props for high heel mobility but that's about it. Whoever mentioned that they should have had wave after wave of pie attacks was right, they shouldn't have stopped until she was fully creamed.

But I bet she was secretly very pleased that she "earned" an attempted pie-ing.
posted by fenriq at 8:18 AM on October 26, 2004

The skank can shift ass on a dime.

That is one of my favorite sentences of the year.

posted by digaman at 11:35 AM on October 26, 2004

But I bet she was secretly very pleased that she "earned" an attempted pie-ing.

Oh, hell yes. Why else would she do what she does, if not to make people look at her? "Hey, looka here! Hey, I'm outrageous! Camel jockeys! CAMEL JOCKEYS! LIBERALS ARE TRAITORS! Yoo-hoo! Hey, I'm outrageous! ..." (There's a song in there somewhere...alas, not one I'd want to listen to...)

That said, a full-body pieing probably would have caused her at least a moment's humiliation before she "shifted ass on a dime" and re-wrote it as fenriq's badge of honor....
posted by lodurr at 12:38 PM on October 26, 2004

lodurr, my badge of honor has something to do with Ann Coulter? Ewww, can I trade it for something less slimy and karmically bankrupt?
posted by fenriq at 3:02 PM on October 26, 2004

The report says: "Ofc. Garcia also interviewed Coulter and found portions of the pie struck her in the face and the dress that she was wearing at the event"

If only Coulter's dress came from The Gap and was blue, there would be proof of a just and merciful God and that he's pissed at the religious right.
posted by ElvisJesus at 5:31 AM on October 27, 2004