Comments on: Weiße Zähne!

Weiße Zähne!

kenko — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 07:04:35 -0800

Sidewalks without dog shit, angels, and Hustler: the day after the election the way-left paper Die Tageszeitung explained what's better in America.

By: Turtles all the way down

Turtles all the way down — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 07:08:22 -0800

HipHop-Videos No. Just no.

By: Gnatcho

Gnatcho — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 07:14:51 -0800

"Angeln" does not mean angels, it means "fishing" or "to fish"

By: Gnatcho

Gnatcho — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 07:17:14 -0800

Fun link, BTW.

By: MrMoonPie

MrMoonPie — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 07:17:55 -0800

I used the Google translator, and got "The lobster with hydrogen drive." You know, that really is better in America.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 07:20:11 -0800

The Babelfish translation is always enjoyable. Who knew that Tennessee translated as "threshing floor lake"? But the most beautiful bit is "the lobster with hydrogen drive." Wasn't that what was waiting at the turnstile in Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds? On preview, damn.

By: kenko

kenko — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 07:20:13 -0800

Fuck! Teach me to rely too much on intuition. But it's funnier that way.

By: kenko

kenko — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 07:20:37 -0800

Oh duh angel is Engel. I knew that. Wer, wenn ich schriee, etc.

By: Faze

Faze — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 07:21:28 -0800

John Updike! Yes! Indian Summer. Yes! Who knows what the hell half this stuff is, but whoever wrote this is okay in my book. And Turtles... Hip Hop videos are vile, but they are mind-bogglingly creatively vile, in a way that is distinctively American. This is the real BIG STORY in American culture at this moment. It's the intensely well-crafted genius of offensive culture, and its success in the mainstream. The "South Park," "Team America," Hip Hop, video game, professional sports vulgarian syndrome. Love it or hate it, its one-hundred percent American, and no one else can pull it off (compare, for instance, the energetic efforts of England's avant garde to offend. They just come off as seedy, or desperately sad, like "The Office.")

By: Turtles all the way down

Turtles all the way down — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 07:29:21 -0800

I take your point, Faze. And it brings to mind the experience of watching and listening to "French Rap" when I lived in Quebec. Now *that* demanded a "just say no".

By: acrobat

acrobat — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 07:35:05 -0800

They forgot freedom fries and freedom toast! (and maybe Poland)

By: TedW

TedW — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 07:40:03 -0800

I can't believe no one noted #20 yet (although shouldn't it be Pfannkuchen?)

By: louie

louie — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 07:44:31 -0800

So can someone who speaks better German than Babelfish actually translate it for real? :)

By: ZenMasterThis

ZenMasterThis — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 08:03:36 -0800

Sidewalks without dog shit Cool. Any hope of this catching on in Brussels?

By: dame

dame — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 08:36:21 -0800

John Updike? Ewww. But what I really want to know is how is Fidel Castro better here than in Germany? He's still in Cuba no matter where you are, no?

By: ParisParamus

ParisParamus — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 08:37:54 -0800

George Bush is 100x better than Germany's Schroeder

By: Gnatcho

Gnatcho — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 08:43:34 -0800

Here is a quick translation. Comments welcome. Mistakes may be present. And it's more about things that are better in (and only in) America. Indian Summer Books-Cafés (this means things like Borders) Non-smoker Appetite for risk Doors that are held open by someone Tolerance vis-à-vis foreigners Discrimination against smokers Sports Illustrated Optimism Olympic medals table (i.e. the US wins a lot) The Postal Service (I think "Die Post" refers to the USPS) Broadcasts of political conventions Research Blues Late Night Shows Press conferences Hustler Bicycle helmets for adults Plastic surgery Pancakes Sidewalks without dog shit Politeness Immigration Steaks International section of the New York Times Football rules Patriotism Getting a second chance Women in positions of leadership Never being jostled in the elevator Enthusiasm Orange juice Equal rights in the workplace Cool T-shirts Bagels John Updike Chants at leftist demonstrations Skyscrapers Home Shopping channels Campaigns against US firms Refrigerators with ice dispensers The ability to remember the first names of people whom you have only met once Women's soccer Self-confidence Street musicians The "Hummer H2" (a type of SUV) with hydrogen engine (the famous lobster - Hummer means lobster in German) The size of the pizzas Viagra Space, lots of space White socks in sneakers Fog (in this context probably smog) over San Francisco Jack Kerouac Taxes California oranges Corpses at the bottom of the Hudson with concrete shoes Microsoft Pursuit of happiness in the Declaration of Independence ("Verfassung" is the usual word for constitution, but that's incorrect, so I substituted "Declaration of Independence". It can also mean basic or foundational law) Dishwashers "Coffee" Neil Armstrong's footprints Lawyers Harley Davidson National Rifle Association Beer in brown paper bags Speed limits on highways Foreign trade deficit Michael Moore Star Wars Lower gas prices than Europe Homer Simpson The Dollar The Burger at Sabrina's and Breakfast at Carman's in Philadelphia Hip Hop videos Starbucks "I love you, Pa!" Fidel Castro Free refills in fast food restaurants Monster trucks Barbra Streisand Corn Flakes The sky over Idaho Martin Luther King Graceland, Tennessee The Charts Are you okay? Motels Hot Dog Jazz Air conditioning Aspirin Dicke (I think this is referring to fat people) Cylinder capacity Basketball Johnny Cash Cheerleader White teeth Hollywood Jeans National Parks Fishing

By: cardboard

cardboard — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 08:57:35 -0800

Raum, viel Raum? Will those silly Germans never learn?

By: kenko

kenko — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 09:21:06 -0800

Speaking of Lebensraum, check out the third paragraph, specifically the last sentence. And this is apparently a moderate paper.

By: Slothrup

Slothrup — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 09:51:13 -0800

Speaking of Lebensraum, check out the third paragraph, specifically the last sentence. And this is apparently a moderate paper. Are you referring to the use of the word Führer? Sorry to disappoint, but that's just the German word for "leader".

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 09:51:15 -0800

Um, Kenko, a little help please?

By: luser

luser — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 09:56:04 -0800

"I love you, Pa" WTF??? Aspirin? In the home of Bayer Aspirin? Cylinder capacity? Oh, yeah! Pancakes! I wonder if Gnatcho threw in an easter egg for the homies. And I finally know why fisherpeople are called "anglers." I think. The Charts? Like, Powerpoint? Or the charts that U.S. horn sections use? Or the Billboard charts?

By: ZenMasterThis

ZenMasterThis — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 10:08:02 -0800

Hummer means lobster in German So when that German waitress asked me if I would like a hummer she really meant...

By: kenko

kenko — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 10:08:31 -0800

I know it's the German word for "leader", Slothrup, but I was taught (this was in high school, and was confirmed last night by a teacher at the Goethe Institut in Chicago who is German, and who corrected a fellow student who used Fuerher to mean "leader" simpliciter, telling him not to use it (and through whom I got the link in the FPP and in my comment above)) that Germans don't use that word lightly. My understanding is that it's not just the word for leader.

By: rainbaby

rainbaby — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 10:08:35 -0800

"I love you, Pa" - could it possibly be. . .Little House On The Prarie? Do they watch the reruns of my childhood with a misty eye? It couldn't be, could it ?!?!

By: Mars Saxman

Mars Saxman — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 10:12:39 -0800

Fog (in this context probably smog) over San Francisco San Francisco fog is famous, practically a cultural institution. Los Angeles would have made more sense if the reference were to smog.

By: DrDoberman

DrDoberman — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 10:24:41 -0800

Careful, this is very similar to a story that they ran in 1933 called "What's Better In Poland".

By: syscom

syscom — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 10:25:28 -0800

This is the real BIG STORY in American culture at this moment. It's the intensely well-crafted genius of offensive culture, and its success in the mainstream. The "South Park," "Team America," Hip Hop, video game, professional sports vulgarian syndrome. Love it or hate it, its one-hundred percent American, and no one else can pull it off (compare, for instance, the energetic efforts of England's avant garde to offend. They just come off as seedy, or desperately sad, like "The Office.") If you're looking for some well-crafted genius offensive culture out of England, check the Brass Eye out. Fake news at its all time best.

By: Slothrup

Slothrup — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 10:27:29 -0800

I was taught (this was in high school, and was confirmed last night by a teacher at the Goethe Institut in Chicago who is German, and who corrected a fellow student who used Fuerher to mean "leader" simpliciter, telling him not to use it (and through whom I got the link in the FPP and in my comment above)) that Germans don't use that word lightly. My understanding is that it's not just the word for leader. If you Google "Führer" at site "spiegel.de", less than half the hits are Hitler references. But I can imagine that, in communicating with non-German speakers, you'd definitely want to use the word sparingly.

By: kenko

kenko — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 10:33:08 -0800

Ok, that explains that—I found it rather shocking, since I thought it was more or less an off-limits word in a political context.

By: Gnatcho

Gnatcho — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 10:45:48 -0800

Charts is referring to Billboard charts. Sorry I wasn't clearer about that. Also, I'd say Führer is pretty common, I mean, "Reiseführer" just means travel guide or guidebook and "Frauen in Führungspositionen" does just mean "women in positions of leadership". And, yeah, I thought about that after posting, that I'd heard of LA smog, but not of SF smog (east coast person here, although my father was born in Hollywood [I love seeing that on the birth certificate, it somehow makes me laugh every time, and proves how foreign California is to me]). And I wish I had thrown in the pancakes reference.

By: ubi

ubi — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 10:55:30 -0800

Dicke = fatties/fat people. Also the name of a satirical German pop song kind of in the vein of Randy Newman's "Short People" only angrier.

By: alumshubby

alumshubby — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 11:15:05 -0800

I remember at least one German in school telling me that they loved it that stores were open on Sunday in the USA whereas everything was closed on Sunday back home. That was twentysomething years ago; maybe they've loosened up some on that in Deutschland?

By: BlueScreen

BlueScreen — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 11:42:44 -0800

Nice job Gnatcho! Thanks :)

By: muckster

muckster — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 11:56:50 -0800

Der Führer war ein armes Schwein, er hatte keinen Führerschein!

By: Artifice_Eternity

Artifice_Eternity — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 14:14:21 -0800

It's true -- breakfast at Carman's Country Kitchen in Philadelphia is really good. Check it out next time you're there. If you ask nicely, Carman might let you eat sitting in the bed of the pickup truck out front (which used to have a sign on it that said "She put the c*nt back in country".)

By: erratic frog

erratic frog — Sat, 06 Nov 2004 00:32:03 -0800

Uh, whatever on Führer. A driver's license is called a "Führerschein" and there are plenty of other words with "Führer" in them. While it's not used in a "World Leader" sense very often, it's not one of those "UN PC" words that make everybody all cranky.

By: inpHilltr8r

inpHilltr8r — Sat, 06 Nov 2004 17:03:25 -0800

the intensely well-crafted genius of offensive culture, and its success in the mainstream. The "South Park," "Team America," Hip Hop, video game, professional sports vulgarian syndrome. Love it or hate it, its one-hundred percent American, and no one else can pull it off Bollocks. The two most offensive and controversial video games at the moment (GTA and Manhunt) are British.