Relativistic penile length enhancement and the joy of sexual physics

November 12, 2004 11:01 AM

Sex at near light speed... Have concerns about penile length at relativistic speeds? How about the using wormholes for masturbation? These questions and many others are taken up by Dr. John @ UCLA.

"...But I am worried. If we were to engage in consensual sex at faster than the speed of light, would I go back in time, so that he would end up having sex with a 5 year old girl? ..."
posted by jasper411 (7 comments total)

Let me guess...he came up with this while wanking in a streetcar, and spent the rest of his life trying to do the math to explain it?
posted by ba at 11:20 AM on November 12, 2004

"It would seem that anal sex with yourself was never meant to be. Sorry."

Damn.
posted by funkbrain at 11:34 AM on November 12, 2004

This is silly. I approve.
posted by putzface_dickman at 12:33 PM on November 12, 2004

I thought this would be by Dr. John, the Night Tripper. Damn.
posted by kenko at 1:16 PM on November 12, 2004

Sadly, this is the best I have ever understood physics in my entire life.
posted by Stan Chin at 2:16 PM on November 12, 2004

I love the internet. Thanks, jasper.
posted by rafter at 2:41 PM on November 12, 2004

I don't know about this....last time I checked in with Schrodinger, whenever you combine quantum physics with pussy, it never ends well for the pussy.
posted by pokeydonut at 9:27 PM on November 14, 2004