XXXmas Presents

November 25, 2004 7:45 PM

Need some help with your Christmas shopping? How about a nice Penis cravat? That special lady in your life will be sure to love her Possum Fur G-string. And finally, something to stuff that stocking: The Bulge.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy (15 comments total)

(singing) Hook is a codpiece, a codpiece, a codpiece...

Oh, wait.
posted by trappedinabay at 7:48 PM on November 25, 2004

Possum Fur G-string.

This vegetarian here would strangle me with it.
posted by davy at 8:05 PM on November 25, 2004

Then Possum Fur Nipple Warmers are probably out of the question too? (Possums are pests here if that helps...)
posted by nihotaniwha at 8:13 PM on November 25, 2004

You have my attention.
posted by PossumCowboy at 8:21 PM on November 25, 2004

Normal ties are already uncomfortable enough that I don't wear them, and this company expects me to put one on down there? No thanks!
posted by clevershark at 8:33 PM on November 25, 2004

I hope male customers will buy them to create a good impression on a first date

Unless the designer is envisioning scores of men exposing themselves at the dinner table in order to wow dates with their penile couture, this seems a little illogical. By the time the pants are off, the good impression's usually already been made, no?
posted by alsorises at 9:54 PM on November 25, 2004

By the time the pants are off, the good impression's usually already been made, no?

Depends how rough the foreplay is.
posted by Dark Messiah at 10:11 PM on November 25, 2004

Unless the designer is envisioning scores of men exposing themselves at the dinner table in order to wow dates with their penile couture, this seems a little illogical.

All I know is that the eternal question "What do I wear to the formal banquet at the nudist colony?" has finally been answered.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:36 PM on November 25, 2004

I hope the inventor of the penis cravat wins the Nobel Prize for "Everything, Ever."
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:55 PM on November 25, 2004

Oh dear.
posted by homunculus at 11:36 PM on November 25, 2004

Possums are an introduced pest in New Zealand, and most people (including the eco-warrior Green party) are pretty happy to see them either sterilised or harvested into seat covers, socks and seductive undergarments.
posted by John Shaft at 12:20 AM on November 26, 2004

... and my point is this: the homicidally-inclined vegetarians of our acquaintance might like to understand that culling the possum population is actually a positive thing.
posted by John Shaft at 12:23 AM on November 26, 2004

You can get glove with possum fur lining on the inside -- Man it feels really crazy having your hand in them, it's hard to explain the softity of possum fur.

But yeah, kill the little bastards.
posted by sycophant at 2:10 AM on November 26, 2004

Man it feels really crazy having your hand in them

Homunculus' link, right? Not to threadjack or anything, but is that a penis at the top of that thing? I'd like to think that if I were male I'd rather look at a bloody stump than a dick-headed-boob-turkey.
posted by frecklefaerie at 6:52 AM on November 26, 2004

That bulge thing does not look natural.
posted by expriest at 9:52 AM on November 26, 2004