The Communion Cheat

November 28, 2004 8:13 AM

Another EXTREEM! version of christianity. But this one's funny because it trades in The Clash's imagery and denies it. Contrast the in-your-face, Jesus-to-the-max logo with Westway to the World, a documentary about The Clash (the title sequence in the film has the "roughened" quality of the church logo). Naturally, a church this hardcore and bullshit free has to have a way to reach the kids. That vehicle is Clash Radio, which is not to be confused with Radio Clash. To be fair, it does look like this radical pastor's done some hard livin'. Every cheap hood strikes a bargain with the world, right?
posted by Mayor Curley (34 comments total)

The hilarity
posted by Pretty_Generic at 8:21 AM on November 28, 2004

Oh man! Just a few hours ago I was scouring the web over tea, and saw this asinine editorial. I was so absolutely confused. It looked like they threw a drunk man onto a keyboard and published the results.

Boy, that font certainly is grunge!
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:22 AM on November 28, 2004

I was about to defend this site for being actually kinda cool but then I realized it was the home of Doug Giles, who, writing in TownHall.com, aspires to be a Dennis Leary of the hard right.
posted by inksyndicate at 8:26 AM on November 28, 2004

The General has this covered.
posted by jefbla at 8:27 AM on November 28, 2004

Or I guess I should say Mark Morford.
posted by inksyndicate at 8:28 AM on November 28, 2004

From Sticherbeast's link:

Can you imagine Dirty Harry Callahan attending a highly effeminized church?

Can you imagine a hyper-macho church based on the teachings of a guy who had long hair and wore a nightie, and who just capitulated and let himself be nailed up on a plank?
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:35 AM on November 28, 2004

From inksyndicate's Dennis Leary link:

It’s crack night in the ferret hut, baby!

This is neither funny nor insightful, but I can imagine the guy thinking to himself, "Man, I'm so awesome with this imagery."
posted by bryce at 8:46 AM on November 28, 2004

I'm optimistic. It is extremely inspiring to watch fundamentalists continually evolve new ways to oppose evolution. Some day, just by accident, they could hit on just the right meme and become totally new beings.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:05 AM on November 28, 2004

One step closer to Mithras.
posted by rdub at 9:18 AM on November 28, 2004

I wish the aliens would hurry up and make contact so we can settle this God thing once and for all. It'd be interesting to see how they spin THAT event.
posted by afx114 at 9:40 AM on November 28, 2004

Changing from maintaining the mediocre, and instead adjusting its culture to reach and then keep the “Harry Callahans.”

If most of these "Harry Callahans" met someone actually like the real "Harry Callahan" they would probably shit their "Doctor Dentons."
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:48 AM on November 28, 2004

- no matter how long it takes us or how much it hurts our selfish lives

- filled with good news for "bad" people

- attractive to Christian and non-Christian alike

Oh and the pastor...

- he attempts to jerk the slack out of slacking Christians

The non-Christian "bad" slackers will have to go down the street and pray with the non-90210 pastor.

Shucks
posted by chatterbox at 9:53 AM on November 28, 2004

The non-Christian "bad" slackers will have to go down the street and pray with the non-90210 pastor.

You're being too kind. He looks like a former fratboy who spent his 20s huffing butts, swilling scotch and losing bar fights. And then he went to "Glamour Shots" one afternoon and pastes a version of that photo on everything he does.
posted by Mayor Curley at 10:06 AM on November 28, 2004

MetaFilter: faced with a cruddy culture
posted by 4easypayments at 10:15 AM on November 28, 2004

I don't know about his vision of "masculine Christianity," but that purty shirt he's wearing would sure as hell pass muster in any major urban gay bar.
posted by blucevalo at 10:34 AM on November 28, 2004

I wish the aliens would hurry up and make contact

let's see, the last time the aliens sent and emmissary, we whipped him through the streets, nailed him on a cross, went on a 2,000 year killing spree in his honor, then made a mel gibson movie about it. the aliens are going to be pissed for a while.
posted by quonsar at 10:47 AM on November 28, 2004

"i remember another gentle visitor from the heavens... one who died to save us, only to come back to life. and his name was... E.T. the extra-terrestrial. i loved that little guy."
posted by Krrrlson at 11:05 AM on November 28, 2004

This guy wants to know what you'd do if you were asked to give up your dreams for freedom. ;)
posted by inksyndicate at 12:19 PM on November 28, 2004

Ever read The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell? Now that's some interesting religious thought right there... You've got everything from the genuinely masculine priest to the ex-Marine-yet-gay macho fighter pilot priest to the learned intellectual priest to the ex-child-prostitute, Jewish genius, all trapped together in what ends up as a horrible joke played by God (or, alternately, proof that there is no God). It's beautifully written, funny, and extremely engrossing.

Anyway, I just watched Saved!, and it caught me off guard. I was expecting satire, but it ended up being extremely sympathetic to God and faith, while hostile to hypocrisy. I think that describes me pretty well, hostile to hypocrisy. Jesus was a manly man not because he smote Pilate with a sword but because he ... well, he was Jesus. Jesus != Rambo, Ahnuhd, or Ronald Reagan.

I wonder when the brand-name mall churches (with McDonald's included!) will wake up and realize that they have about as much in common with God's love as the After Thanksgiving Day Sale at the local Target....

Isn't it about time for someone to post Supply-Side Jesus?
posted by socratic at 12:36 PM on November 28, 2004 [1 favorite]

I'm certain the "crack night in the ferret hut" line originates with Dennis Miller. What happened to "thou shalt not steal?"
posted by the_bone at 12:47 PM on November 28, 2004

This is radio crap. I think I'm going to be sicker than Topper Headon after a nice sack full of drugs.
posted by helvetica at 1:36 PM on November 28, 2004

I was wondering where I had seen this line of well deserved mockery before and then I remembered... oh yeah, he's a tbogg favorite.
posted by aspo at 2:18 PM on November 28, 2004

I'm certain the "crack night in the ferret hut" line originates with Dennis Miller. What happened to "thou shalt not steal?"

Dennis Leary started off his career by stealing wholesale from Bill Hicks, and has never once copped to it. He's a funny guy and a decent actor, but honesty really isn't right up there on his list of personality traits.
posted by Lokheed at 2:47 PM on November 28, 2004

His macho Christianity concepts are simply echoes of John Eldridge and his Wild at Heart thesis, which I think misunderstands masculinity.

From the Sticherbeast link: With the Dirty Harry-like prophet, patriarch, warrior and wild man returning to the house of God, we can expect to see, once again, righteousness exalted in this nation and weirdness effectively mitigated.

See, Jesus never struck me as a Dirty Harry-like prophet, patriarch, warrior, or wild man. Even in scourging the Temple, it was zeal, not wildness, that he was exhibiting.
posted by Alt F4 at 2:54 PM on November 28, 2004

What am I missing? Why does this guy even bother to use the word "Clash"? I've read through multiple pages and the only things that distinguish this from any other so-called church are antithetical to The Clash (e.g. the desperate attempts to prop up macho culture at the expense of "the feminine").

I admit I was misled by the way Mayor Curley structured the FPP, thinking/hoping that it was a fantastic new, innovative church that had something, anything to do with the ideology of the Clash, but if not, wha... why bother? And can't the surviving Clash members sue his lame ass for profaning their sacred name?
posted by soyjoy at 7:52 PM on November 28, 2004

lokhead: The "Dennis Leary" from inksyndicate's link isn't really "Dennis Leary..." just a columnist who wants to be Dennis Leary. Your observation makes the Leary comparison all the more appropriate, though.
posted by the_bone at 7:56 PM on November 28, 2004

I have seen this man in action, folks. He is not to be trifled with. He is the rabid pit bull of Jesus Freaks, complete with mouth froth.

Also related: Acquire the Fire and Teen Mania.
posted by trappedinabay at 8:04 PM on November 28, 2004

I believe that the Clash were probably closer to Christ's radical views than any mainstream Christianity around today. If the true Jesus came around now he would be labeled and called lots of names by those who purport to worship him.
posted by UseyurBrain at 8:41 PM on November 28, 2004

UseyurBrain - exactly. I can hardly imagine this bozo hearing the Christian empathy in a song like "Somebody Got Murdered," because it could come across as, you know, "quasi-male." So why didn't he pick a more appropriate band name for his church, like, say, Megadeth?
posted by soyjoy at 8:59 PM on November 28, 2004

I think Christ's radical views would include driving the moneychangers -- including this Clash twit -- from the temples.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:18 PM on November 28, 2004

- he attempts to jerk the slack out of slacking Christians

...he does WHAT?
God, if I have to hear about one more XTREME IN YOUR FACE GODZ CHURCH YOUTH MINISTRY TO THE MAXX, I'm probably going to go all Norwegian death-metal and burn down their church/skate park. I'm totally cool with religion, and I've known some pretty cool young Christians, but this shit is embarrassing. Somewhere, Jesus is watching this, and he is PISSED OFF.
I understand that you want to attract the youth of today, but this just makes your religion look old, sad and trying too hard.
posted by 235w103 at 10:44 PM on November 28, 2004

Did somebody say radical pastor?

What a scam artist. It's the same old get rich quick, be a hero to fawning masses, everybody (esp. the hottie girls) wants to talk to you 'cos you're the youth pastor scheme that's been the mainstay of American brand Christianity since the day I was born into the business.

If you wanna know how much American Christian charlatans are into the glorification of an ineffable, ponderous God, I suggest you look no further than the empty strip mall storefronts, abandoned grocery stores and the dire need of the flock to quickly be moved in and moved out to make room for more American drive-thru spiritualists who doubtlessly clammoring to find out what what some flabby jock theocratic nationalist has to say to them.

This God this Giles guy speaks of, like all authoritarian concepts of God, is nothing more than a brand, a cheap soda, a condom one flushes away after pounding the living fuck out of innocent lives and curious minds. He pisses on Christ and heists organic pop-culture out of its fair dues.
posted by crasspastor at 11:09 PM on November 28, 2004

I admit I was misled by the way Mayor Curley structured the FPP, thinking/hoping that it was a fantastic new, innovative church that had something, anything to do with the ideology of the Clash

Sorry about that. You're right-- you kind of need to know the content of the links to get the context of the FPP. There's a mention of denial of stealing The Clash's imagery (under "FOCUS"), but unfortunately the site is Flash and I can't link to it.

I thought it was funny that the connection is implicit with the name, borrowed graphic and the Clash Radio/Radio Clash connection, but the guy addresses it and denies it instead of changing anything. The name "clash church" might not be seen as derivative if he got rid of the other cribbed elements.

I can hardly imagine this bozo hearing the Christian empathy in a song like "Somebody Got Murdered," because it could come across as, you know, "quasi-male."

My personal theory is that he's a casual Clash fan who decided to open a "Church With Balls" while listening to "Sounds of the Sinners." (not really, but it's a fun thought.)
posted by Mayor Curley at 4:08 AM on November 29, 2004

I believe that the Clash were probably closer to Christ's radical views than any mainstream Christianity around today. If the true Jesus came around now he would be labeled and called lots of names by those who purport to worship him.

I agree with you, too. But I laugh every time I think of Jesus standing on a dias before a crowd and suddenly screaming "WHITE RIOT!"
posted by Mayor Curley at 4:11 AM on November 29, 2004