and everyone else should wear a Scarlet Letter

November 28, 2004 9:20 PM

You'll surprisingly discover that while monogamous, heterosexual, drug-free, non-adventurous travelers might seem a bit boring at some parties, they're hugely popular at blood banks! (An actual television station editorial, via tvbarn2.)
posted by calwatch (21 comments total)

Well, Gamma Phi Beta may have something to say about that.
BTW, does masturbating to group sex porn count against someone?
posted by dancingbaptist at 9:42 PM on November 28, 2004

I find that statement mildly amusing, and perhaps a bit unusual for a TV editorial. But that's all. What's the big deal?
posted by Galvatron at 9:43 PM on November 28, 2004

my outrage detectors must be on the fritz.
posted by quonsar at 9:43 PM on November 28, 2004

It's worth it just for the carrot cake.
posted by First Post at 9:50 PM on November 28, 2004

If you live on or around the Monterey Peninsula, call the CHOMP Blood Center ...

Do you think it's staffed by vampires? Or, worse yet, C.H.U.D.?
posted by Dr. Wu at 9:57 PM on November 28, 2004

I'm going to write some angry letters. To whom shall I address them?
posted by DrJohnEvans at 10:06 PM on November 28, 2004

Do you think it's staffed by vampires? Or, worse yet, C.H.U.D.?

Robotic dogs.
posted by kindall at 10:12 PM on November 28, 2004

Touché, kindall.
posted by Dr. Wu at 10:23 PM on November 28, 2004

Scarlet letter? Yeah, they should have to wear a Scarlet A. A negative! Ha!

Wait, are we supposed to be mad about something?
posted by Samsonov14 at 10:32 PM on November 28, 2004

Damn those (__ insert juicy types here__) all to (__ dis-preferred afterlife__)!!!
posted by Balisong at 10:47 PM on November 28, 2004

Err.

If this was a FPP to promote the giving of blood over yuletide, in order to compensate for rocketing demand for transfusable blood products in reaction to the predictable flood of RTAs and domestic incidents, then I endorse this message.
posted by NinjaPirate at 2:19 AM on November 29, 2004

See, I was wondering if Thanksgiving was some sort of traditional blood-selling/giving day.... remember the Simpson's episode where Bart "ruins" Thanksgiving by throwing Lisa's feminist centrepiece into the fire, and so runs away, sells his blood, etc? But the rocketing demand thesis seems plausible.
posted by onshi at 5:30 AM on November 29, 2004

Blood donation is not just for heterosexuals. Lesbians who meet the criteria are quite welcome to give blood. (My next donation at Seattle's Puget Sound Blood Center will be #83.)
posted by Carol Anne at 5:32 AM on November 29, 2004

Every time I donate blood, I go through that questionnaire, and I am reminded of what a boring life I lead.
posted by Karmakaze at 6:33 AM on November 29, 2004

I'm the first to agree that the millions of eligible non-donors out there need to get out and bleed on a regular basis, but is it possible that the shortage is exacerbated by the fact that the Red Cross's requirements for donor eligibility seem to get more stringent and unlikely every year? It used to be that you couldn't donate for six months after getting a tattoo. Now it's one year. I get tattooed yearly. All of a sudden, I can never donate again. Thanks a lot, Red Cross.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:34 AM on November 29, 2004

I have the opposite problem-- the more stringent they make the rules, the more clearly it is revealed that they want me! ME!!!! A negative Girl!. Pretty soon the rules will be so complicated that it will be A Negative Girl! who is the only one on the planet who can supply blood for the needy.

Interesting sidenote: I inherited my A- blood from my father who inherited it from his family who migrated here from Transylvania 100 years ago....hmmm.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:59 AM on November 29, 2004

I am an O Negative (the universal donor).

The Red Cross and Community Blood Center used to call me weekly for years, but for some reason or another they stopped.

Perhaps they share records with the local detox clinic.
posted by sourwookie at 7:29 AM on November 29, 2004

Carrot cake for giving blood? Yuck.

When I was younger, I used to sell plasma - you can do it a couple times a week, they give ya 17 dollars each time (and there's a guy in the alley behind the center selling 17 dollar bags), but best of all, they gave you a cookie and apple juice.

I dunno if it was the effect of having plasma-less whole blood pumped back into my body at slightly-cooler-than-room-temperature, or if they got their apple juices from some otherworldly source, but I have never found apple juice as good as that which came from the plasma center.
posted by davelog at 8:30 AM on November 29, 2004

Ha ha, Secret Life, you only got an A-minus. I got an A+ on my blood test! (And I didn't even study or anything!)
posted by Karmakaze at 10:07 AM on November 29, 2004

So, if my boring lifestyle qualifies me to give blood...can I please sign autographs with my new found popularity in the blood mobile?
posted by Gooney at 10:33 AM on November 29, 2004

They won't take my blood here. They claim that it's because I lived through the UK BSE nonsense. The real reason is that they're scared of what Scottish blood will do their soft Canadian medical equipment.

(make it all greasy, most likely ...)
posted by scruss at 7:18 AM on November 30, 2004