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Bad Movies
November 29, 2004 9:13 AM   Subscribe

Have you seen badmovies.org? It has plot summaries, still photos [.jpg], sound clips [.wav], and most amusingly, videos [.mpg]. Here is the full list.
posted by sciurus (51 comments total)

 
See also Stomp Tokyo, ColdFusion Video, and Jabootu's Bad Movie dimension
posted by shawnj at 9:20 AM on November 29, 2004


This site lists Army of Darkness as a bad movie.

This site lists Army of Darkness as a bad movie.

This site lists Army of Darkness as a bad movie.
posted by Simon! at 9:21 AM on November 29, 2004


Also, for those Midwest Mefites with ass muscles made for sitting in place for long periods of time (and who doesn't!), B-Fest
posted by shawnj at 9:24 AM on November 29, 2004


Right on! Santa Claus Conquers The Martians, just in time for the holidays. Those who like this site will also like this book.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 9:24 AM on November 29, 2004


man that video you linked to with the kung fu ball thingy. oh my. the sound effects!
posted by glenwood at 9:29 AM on November 29, 2004


What the hell kind of site devoted to bad movies doesn't include HERCULES movies???
posted by Captain_Tenille at 9:36 AM on November 29, 2004


I can't take a bad movie site seriously if it doesn't list Time Chasers, Beneath the Bermuda Triangle, or, at the very least, Cannibal! The Musical.

This used to be a good list, but it is now filled with box office flops, instead of the so-bad-they-are-good B-movies. At least Manos is still in the top 10.

On preview, I have to agree with Simon!.
posted by bh at 9:36 AM on November 29, 2004


These sites aren't meant to be comprehensive, though. They're basically people just reviewing what they find at the local video store or online, and put up one or two a week. They're not trying to put up a comprehensive list of bad movies, b-movies, or cult movies. They're just trying to showcase their wit and turn other b-movie enthusiasts on to movies they've never heard of before. I should know, I used to do exactly that, but lost interest after a few updates.
posted by shawnj at 9:50 AM on November 29, 2004


waittaminnit

This site lists Army of Darkness as a bad movie?
posted by Peter H at 9:53 AM on November 29, 2004


Not really. With the rating system, it works out to being a good b-movie. "Bad Movie" does not necessarily, in the case of B-Movie fans, mean horrible.
posted by shawnj at 9:59 AM on November 29, 2004


The large number of screener tapes submitted, along with military duties, means that I will not be able to accept any more for some time.

Since US Army PSYOP units are not able to produce motion pictures, appropriate films may be selected from available sources; effects on the target audience must be carefully considered.
posted by three blind mice at 9:59 AM on November 29, 2004


Hm. It looks like I might have stolen a possible first post for you, shawnj.
posted by sciurus at 10:09 AM on November 29, 2004


Nah. B-Movies just happen to be one of my hobbies. I've known about Badmovies.org for years now and it never occured to me to post it. The honor is all yours. :)
posted by shawnj at 10:14 AM on November 29, 2004


Sure Army of Darkness is campy. I'll buy that one. But Dawn of the Dead? DAWN OF THE DEAD??! Not all horror flicks are bad.
posted by drpynchon at 10:21 AM on November 29, 2004


From a previous MeFi post, I spent some time wanting to buy nearly everything on 5minutestolive.com.
posted by eyeballkid at 10:24 AM on November 29, 2004


Army of Darkness... Awesome.
Dawn/Day/Night of the dead... awesome.
That bowling ball with big teeth and a screechy voice as well as whisks for antennae... awesome.
This site needs a new definition of bad.
posted by mervin_shnegwood at 10:32 AM on November 29, 2004


What the hell kind of site devoted to bad movies doesn't include HERCULES movies???

I've never seen more than a couple minutes of one. But I have it on good authority that they're "not too abysmal."
posted by soyjoy at 10:37 AM on November 29, 2004


A world where time runs backwards:
"This food is disgusting--here, taste it."
'Wow, awesomely disgusting, dude!"
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:38 AM on November 29, 2004


He doesn't even have Night of the Lepus.
posted by Grand Wahzoo at 10:50 AM on November 29, 2004


Is it just me, or is that kung fu bowling ball thing Pac-Man?
posted by Songdog at 10:59 AM on November 29, 2004


Since when is Delicatessen a bad movie? Or even a b-movie?

OTOH, dead on with Dark Star: John Carpenter's first "real" film. Ever see an alien made out of a beach ball?
posted by A dead Quaker at 11:06 AM on November 29, 2004


God forgive me, but I own this one. I was dismayed to find that Straight To Hell (Starring Courtney Love!) wasn't on the list.
posted by Miss Bitchy Pants at 11:16 AM on November 29, 2004


I've never seen more than a couple minutes of one. But I have it on good authority that they're "not too abysmal."

Don't get me wrong, I love Hercules (and other Italian muscle man) movies, but they're definitely B movies. 'B' movies superior to many 'films', but B movies nonetheless.
posted by Captain_Tenille at 11:16 AM on November 29, 2004


B movies aren't necessarily the same as bad movies, although there is some obvious overlap. I would say that Army of Darkness is definitely a B movie, both in budget and in spirit and is not out of place here. Note: I *heart* Army of Darkness, and all things Sam Raimi/Bruce Campbell.

I like this site. The sound clips are great. I hope he can add more reviews eventually.
posted by jennyb at 12:16 PM on November 29, 2004


Two syllables: Ishtar.

Though apparently "Alexander" is going to give it a run for biggest disappointment ever (and, no, I'm not going to include Battlefield: Earth, since nobody other than Scientology fanboys expected it to be good).

On preview: "Army of Darkness" is wonderful, but I wouldn't count on it as a movie to show to a group of people I barely knew.
posted by socratic at 12:24 PM on November 29, 2004


Cartoons Gary Larson missed:
The Recessive Gene Pool Hall
“Hey guys, check out this 8 rock!”
“Awsome, dude—like, waaay too big for the pockets!”
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:24 PM on November 29, 2004


Oh, and I have a special place in my heart for "Ice Pirates."
posted by socratic at 12:24 PM on November 29, 2004


Buckaroo Banzai?!?!?!?!

That movie changed my life (sorta).

At least it gave me my favorite koan: "Where-ever you go, there you are."
posted by mmahaffie at 12:26 PM on November 29, 2004


Captain_: My source on that was another so-called "bad" movie.
posted by soyjoy at 12:39 PM on November 29, 2004


If you like God-awful E.T. rip-offs that were filmed in Africa, you won't want to miss Nukie. Thrill to the adventures of the alien brothers Nukie and Meeko and their human pals Tookie and Tiko and a chimp named Charlie.

Ah, Nukie-- truly, as the tagline says, 'A Magical Space Adventure.'
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 1:32 PM on November 29, 2004


(and, no, I'm not going to include Battlefield: Earth, since nobody other than Scientology fanboys expected it to be good).


God, I was hoping though. I enjoyed the book when I was a kid and read it again as an adult and still liked it. When they made the movie, I was excited. And then I saw the trailers and thought..."eh, well they have to change some of it, but it will still be good...."

And then I realized I was deluding myself.
posted by TeamBilly at 2:03 PM on November 29, 2004


And of course no Bad Movie Fan has seen a truly bad movie until they have seen The Star Wars Holiday Special, featuring Harvey Korman, Bea Arthur, and the first appearance of Boba Fett.

Also mentioned here(Back-In-The-Day-Filter).
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 2:05 PM on November 29, 2004


Some other bad ones that are popping to mind now...

Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn
Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (starring Peter Strauss and Molly Ringwald, ferchrissakes. Ernie Hudson, too.)
Timerider: The Adventures of Lyle Swan

I've just noticed a theme here as I'm typing this...
posted by TeamBilly at 2:12 PM on November 29, 2004


You've got colon cancer!
posted by sciurus at 2:51 PM on November 29, 2004


Miss Bitchy Pants: Sword and the Sorcerer gets three drops, which indicates the movie isn't all that bad. Of course, I own it on DVD, too, so I am perhaps just as biased as you! They also forgot to add on things I learned from this movie: why have one blade when you can have three-in-one, two of them shootable, with the middle one sheathing a fourth one?
posted by linux at 3:16 PM on November 29, 2004


No, really, that sword rocks.
posted by linux at 3:16 PM on November 29, 2004


TeamBillly -- My heart goes out to you... nobody should have to have had their hopes up for that pile of ground rabbit colon that was "Battlefield: Earth." I too read one or two of the books when I was younger, and so I didn't mean to suggest that everyone who had read the books and hoped for a good movie was a Scientology fanboy, merely that... eh... nevermind.

:)
posted by socratic at 5:16 PM on November 29, 2004


Subjecting myself and others to terrible film is a pastime of mine (I am currently in progress of converting my garage into a theater for this purpose). If you’re ever feeling masochistic (or drunk), then here are a few titles I’d like to suggest:
…some links to VideoDetective (Windows Media) trailers…
Despiser
Keeper of Time
Knights
Shapeshifter
Groom Lake
Cocaine Wars
Rebel Storm
The Double O Kid
posted by woj at 10:32 PM on November 29, 2004


Star Knight!
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 11:21 PM on November 29, 2004


And don't forget John Wayne as Genghis Khan.
(“Weak Epic, Verging on the Ridiculous.”)
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 11:28 PM on November 29, 2004


This site proposes a very funny definition of bad movies -- A Boy and His Dog is totally kickass -- but I am left wondering why this J. Carpenter penned gem is absent. Maybe 'cause carpenter made it. Hm...
posted by Jeff_Larson at 12:21 AM on November 30, 2004


This film is the very first video my brother and I rented out when we were kids... its marvelous.
posted by fadeout at 5:26 AM on November 30, 2004


Fuzzy Monster:

NUUUUUKKIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NUUUUUKKIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NUUUUUKKIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NUUUUUKKIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NUUUUUKKIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NUUUUUKKIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:31 AM on November 30, 2004


Also, if you're looking for a couple of fucked-up kids movies to sit down and smoke a joint to these holidays, I suggest:

Good Burger

and

The Country Bears.

I could go on ad nauseum about my favourite bad movies, but I'll limit myself to my favourite three.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:38 AM on November 30, 2004


Ah, The Card Cheat, Master of The Bad Movies-- I was wondering when you were going to show up on this thread.

"I'm going across the street, get me one of those Big Booty Burgers."
-- Sinbad, from Good Burger
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 6:48 AM on November 30, 2004


Y'know, I saw a trailer last night for a TNT original movie starring Noah Wylie called "The Librarian: Quest for The Spear" which appears to be a Stargate-Meets-Indiana Jones adventure but with a suck factor of twelve.

But there's the damn colons again. I mentioned this thread to my wife and she said, "There are some good movies with colons in the title, though."

"Name one."

"Uhhh...."

Are there any good movies with colons in the title?
posted by TeamBilly at 6:52 AM on November 30, 2004


Terminator 2: Judgement Day? Apocalyptic neo-noir with robotic anti-hero and a liquid metal "femme fatale?"
posted by sciurus at 7:11 AM on November 30, 2004


Highlander 2: The Quickeni...oh, wait.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:12 AM on November 30, 2004


From IMDB:

"When a magical artifact is lifted from his library, a meek librarian sets out to ensure its safe return. To do so, however, he enlists the service of a woman with exceptional martial arts skills - who becomes the enforcer in the relationship."

As a librarian, I *must* see this movie. Thanks, TeamBilly.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:15 AM on November 30, 2004


Good points. T2 was, indeed a good movie.

A friend of mine said that after the second Highlander movie, the third one should have been called "Highlander: The Apology".
posted by TeamBilly at 11:01 AM on November 30, 2004


Are there any good movies with colons in the title?

In addition to the colon, I've often found that the number of "Also Known As" entries in the IMDB for a film will be a good indicator of said film's level of crappiness.

e.g. -
Bug Buster
Boltneck
Hostage Train
Solar Crisis
posted by woj at 1:59 PM on November 30, 2004


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