Feel like I'm in college again

December 1, 2004 4:44 PM

My prayers have been answered. Finally.
posted by adampsyche (57 comments total)

You pray for funny stuff.
posted by Hanover Phist at 4:58 PM on December 1, 2004

Oh, Philadelphia. Home of soft pretzels, cheesesteaks, and now a restaurant of sugar cereal. It never ceases to amaze.
posted by hopeless romantique at 5:05 PM on December 1, 2004

Oh boy! There's one coming to Chicago soon!

If they have Quisp, then all my hipster worldly dreams shall be fulfilled.
posted by 40 Watt at 5:17 PM on December 1, 2004

Hey. I happen to like the Tempe location. Yeah, it's a little over priced and probably not very good for you, but I can now feel vindicated eating lucky charms, coco puffs, and captain crunch all mixed together with extra marshmallows. It beats the hell out of a McMuffin anyhow.
posted by rdub at 5:18 PM on December 1, 2004

Did you ever see the Letterman bit on "Just _____"? He went to "Just Shades" and all they sold were shades no bulbs, and then to "Just Bulbs" which sold just bulbs no shades. Their poor employees never knew David was making fun of them. Well, at least this is my admittedly fuzzy memory of this rather old bit. Anyway, now we have "Just Cereal." I wonder if I can get an egg there.
posted by caddis at 5:18 PM on December 1, 2004

Holy Fuck! That rules! - Recovering Cereal Addict
posted by shoepal at 5:22 PM on December 1, 2004

caddis asked: Did you ever see the Letterman bit on "Just _____"?

Hell yeah, I remember that -- just like being in a one dollar store and asking how much? Ah the good old days on the Man Under The Stairs and Fugitive Guy.

re: cereality
I saw this in the NYtimes a few weeks ago, they had a great article on how cereal was the most popular food among college students, with Cheerios -- CHEERIOS -- being the abolute tops. Cheerios?

Blimey.
posted by undule at 5:35 PM on December 1, 2004

Now I'm hungry.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 5:37 PM on December 1, 2004

Also, Cheerios rock.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 5:38 PM on December 1, 2004

Oh, how I hope they bring one here! I think I'd eat all my meals there... as long as they had Fruity Pebbles and Frankenberry Crunch. ~*chuckles*~
posted by Lyrique Tragedy at 5:43 PM on December 1, 2004

Jerry Seinfeld is probably the venture capital behind this, right?
posted by centerpunch at 5:44 PM on December 1, 2004

can't you just buy all the cereal you like in boxes from the store and mix them together yourself?

are there fresh-fruit smoothies?
posted by mrgrimm at 5:45 PM on December 1, 2004

I hope they have the best kind of cereal: hippie sugar varieties. Go to a natural food store of a substantial size, and they're certain to have sugary stuff for kids beyond the granola crap for new age adults. And therein lies the magic: pure actual sugar.

Right now I pound a couple bowls of Peanut Butter Bumpers each morning, a peanut butter cap'n crunch clone -- but it only has eight ingredients, and it's all simple stuff. Like corn and sugar, no coloring or preservatives or shit. It's basically like what cereal was in the 50s, before all the fake crap slipped in: mostly sugar.

It takes ten times better than cap'n crunch to me.
posted by mathowie at 5:47 PM on December 1, 2004

Cheerios is my favorite cereal..... I am so whitey.
posted by Arch Stanton at 5:49 PM on December 1, 2004

mathowie, you blasphemer.

The artificial shit is what makes cereal fun. Colors and flavors not found in nature that turn your poop funny hues. This is what breakfast is all about. Frankenberry! Booberry! Cookie Crisp! Artificiality Ahoy!
posted by jonmc at 5:50 PM on December 1, 2004

The Cap'n always rips the roof of your mouth to shreds. This too is part of the fun, no? mmmmm, sugar.
posted by caddis at 5:55 PM on December 1, 2004

I'm about a mile away from that place. Who's coming for breakfast?
posted by mothershock at 6:08 PM on December 1, 2004

Me!
posted by adampsyche at 6:11 PM on December 1, 2004

Oh, you can still get mouth meat with bumpers, but not nearly as bad.
posted by mathowie at 6:11 PM on December 1, 2004

The thing with Peanut Butter Bumpers is that as good as the cereal is (definite overtones of honey), the name is vaguely reminiscent of an STD. adampsyche, this is brilliant. They need more chains...like one in my kitchen would be nice.
posted by naxosaxur at 6:14 PM on December 1, 2004

Mmmmm....all cereals are better with those shrunken lucky charms marshmallows on 'em. Did anybody ever try Home Run Crunch? It was Cap'n Crunch with baseball-objects-shaped marshmallows. Like Lucky Charms, but without all that healthy oat stuff.

Caddis: Cryptonomicon has a detailed description of the protagonist's detailed protocol for eating Cap'n Crunch without cutting up his mouth. Highly recommended.
posted by Planter at 6:22 PM on December 1, 2004

Colors and flavors not found in nature that turn your poop funny hues. This is what breakfast is all about. Frankenberry! Booberry! Cookie Crisp! Artificiality Ahoy!

Booberry poo. Those who've had it never forget. (BTW I haven't checked yet, but if they have Booberry I will have to make a special trip)
posted by malaprohibita at 6:26 PM on December 1, 2004

I work a couple blocks away at Penn. This is a vast improvement over the chocolate guy and the Steve Madden store. I'll try it at least, but I'm skeptical.
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 6:29 PM on December 1, 2004

Do they serve Weetabix?
posted by Cryptical Envelopment at 6:34 PM on December 1, 2004

"mouth meat"?
posted by kenko at 6:39 PM on December 1, 2004

I was customer #1 at Cereality this morning. I was interviewed by USAToday. It was fun. We brought slogans to protest the opening, because people always protest at Penn and we figured no one would protest cereal.
TheY LOVED our slogans, so much that they took them.

I AM COOKOO fOr COcOa Puffs AND THE ViOLENT OVERTHROW OF THE RULING ELITE

Hey Hey Ho Ho Cream of WheaT has GOT To go

SNAP CRACKLE POP A CAP IN Yo Ass

KIX PROMOTES VIOLENCE

SiLLy RABBIT Trix is FOR THE EMANCIPATION OF THE PROLITERIAT

COUNT CHOCULA PROMOTes STaLINism

WHEATIES: BreaKFAST of JacoBins

CHEERIOS DISCRIMINATES AgainsT THE OTHeR LETTeRS OF The ALPHABET

KIX ANIMAL TESTED MOTHER APPROVED

LuCKY CHARMS PROMOTES WITCHCRAFT

THE SOCIETY FOR THE MISTREATMENT OF STARCHES

SPOON ME FORK YOU
posted by moooshy at 6:40 PM on December 1, 2004

moooshy wins
posted by adampsyche at 6:43 PM on December 1, 2004

Ohhh dang. If only there was one up here in New York...
But the best cereal is actually not a cereal at all; if you get one of those travel cups of tiny Oreos, and pour milk in, you get what leading scientists like to call "Deliciousness Soup." It beats the hell out of those crappy Oreo-O's.
posted by 235w103 at 6:44 PM on December 1, 2004

Metafilter: mouth meat with bumpers


Oh, I wish I knew how to write small.
posted by cosmonaught at 7:35 PM on December 1, 2004

I don't pray, but if I did, then this wonderful new restaurant would have been in my prayers, too...damn, but what a great idea!

Mmmmmmmmm...Fruity Pebbles...PB Cap'n Crunch...(drool...)...
posted by davidmsc at 7:45 PM on December 1, 2004

Now if we could only get the sorvete bars like the ones I went to in Brazil here in the states.... mmmmmm.
posted by weston at 7:54 PM on December 1, 2004

I go to restaurants for things I can't make at home, which generally speaking is everything but cold cereal.

That being said... Van Damme, I want to go to that place.
posted by cosmonaught at 7:59 PM on December 1, 2004

and they're in PAJAMAS! ohhh, how clever.

/not
posted by NationalKato at 8:20 PM on December 1, 2004

If they have Quisp, then all my hipster worldly dreams shall be fulfilled.

No way. Quake was waaaay better.

Psychoanalysts would later begin to see a pattern as spock also preferred Betamax to VHS, Macintosh to PC, and drives a Volkswagen, though living in the middle of Nebraska
posted by spock at 9:44 PM on December 1, 2004

My favorite cereals when I was a kid were Croonchy Stars (bork bork bork bork bork!) and C3PO's . Man were those good. I really wish I could get a line on a fresh box of C3PO's.
posted by stovenator at 10:42 PM on December 1, 2004

"mouth meat"?

I think it's from Microserfs -- the characters (20-somethings) eat sugary cereal and love cap'n crunch even though it cuts the top of your mouth to hell, which the narrator calls "mouth meat" to describe the jagged, torn, hanging remains of your mouth after chomping the crunch.
posted by mathowie at 10:57 PM on December 1, 2004

I believe the Microserfs term was "mouth beef," actually. Yes:

I sandpapered the roof of my mouth with three bowls of Cap'n Crunch - had raw gobbets of mouth-beef dangling onto my tongue all day.

Mmm, beef.
posted by kindall at 11:52 PM on December 1, 2004

Personally I prefer Cheat Commandos...O's.
posted by Ironwolf at 12:24 AM on December 2, 2004

I think I'm going to have to add this to the pile of concepts I will never understand, along with pet rocks, cabbage patch kids, and The English Patient.
posted by kyrademon at 12:38 AM on December 2, 2004

Go to a natural food store of a substantial size, and they're certain to have sugary stuff for kids beyond the granola crap for new age adults. And therein lies the magic: pure actual sugar.

Or "evaporated cane juice", as it's known down at the Co-op.


I've been hunting recently for a cereal commercial from the 80s: one claymation ad with a black background for Circus Fun Cereal. The ad gave me the impression that the modelling-clay circus animals being led into a bowl by the ringmaster were actually plump marshmallows of the Jet-Puf variety, not like Lucky Charms' withered mallows. Imagine my disappointment.

My searching has led me, at least, to the very definitive The Empty Bowl--the Definitive Source for All Your Cereal Needs.
posted by Tufa at 1:30 AM on December 2, 2004

I dunno. This just does not mesh with my concept of cereal intake, which is usually done bleary-eyed while still in my boxers. I'd have to imagine that there will be a big fuss over this when it first arrives in an area, and then the novelty will wear off and interest will wane, kinda like Krispy Kreme. Just think, I can take the whole family here and feed them for only the cost of 6 boxes of cereal from Trader Joes. Then again, I never thought a business predicated on $4 cups of coffee would really take off either.
/curmudgeon
posted by mach at 1:58 AM on December 2, 2004

interest wanes in krispy kremes? civilisation is wasted on you people.
posted by andrew cooke at 2:34 AM on December 2, 2004

I wonder...do they have 3 Point Pops?
posted by Vidiot at 2:57 AM on December 2, 2004

And they totally need to open one of these in New York.

If NYC can sustain restaurants that solely sell grilled cheese, rice pudding, and peanut butter sandwiches, it can definitely sustain one of these.
posted by Vidiot at 3:03 AM on December 2, 2004

Do they have Nutri-Grain? Or indeed, any cereal that looks a little bit like E.T.?
posted by Prince Nez at 4:20 AM on December 2, 2004

I only eat Cap'n Crunch with malt liquor so until they have King Cobra on tap I'm a no show. Quaker Oats....if your reading this....PLEASE bring back Mr. T cereal!! "I pity da foo' dat don't eat my cereal!".
posted by The Perfect Killer at 6:16 AM on December 2, 2004

Mmmmm....all cereals are better with those shrunken lucky charms marshmallows

I never could figure out why they never sold just the charms...I loved those things-- texture and flavor!

My mom was big on the "sugarless" cereals like Cheerios, so naturally we had to dump 1/2 Cup of sugar on them to bring them up to speed. When my SO was a kid, he thought that the grey sludge with the colored specks on the bottom of the bowl was the vitamins from his King Vitaman cereal, and he religiously consumed every bit.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:17 AM on December 2, 2004

I made a special trip to Philadelphia to eat at Morimoto's, and it looks like I'll have to make another special trip to eat at Cereality. I was waiting for them to make one on this coast.

Oh, and Tufa, thanks for the Empty Bowl plug even though I haven't updated it in months. :P
posted by emptybowl at 6:58 AM on December 2, 2004

I may be in the minority here, but I don't like cereal. I haven't eaten it since I was ten or so when my parents force-fed me a bowl of soggy Sugar something or others (whatever Sugar Bear advertised).

I prefer more traditional breakfast foods like flapjacks and eggs and whatnot, but anyway, this is a great idea. I won't go there, but if I could invest a tiny portion of money in a place like that I might consider it.

Just don't ask me to eat there.
posted by codger at 7:16 AM on December 2, 2004

Quake?? Never!! It's pistols at dawn, spock.... if that is your real name...
posted by 40 Watt at 8:06 AM on December 2, 2004

I've always wanted to try a bowl of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs.
posted by gummo at 9:12 AM on December 2, 2004

interest wanes in krispy kremes?
yes, interest wanes in krispy kreme.

I was infatuated with them myself for a little while. But you had to get them hot off the line for best results. A cold Krispy Kreme just doesn't cut it.
posted by mach at 9:27 AM on December 2, 2004

puffins - Corn Meal, Dehydrated Cane Juice, Natural Peanut Butter (Ground Peanuts, Salt), Oat Flour, Rice Flour, Sea Salt, Vitamin E (Mixed Tocopherols), Baking Soda.

I've never tried peanut butter bumpers, but I think peanut butter puffins are in the same category (although they are slightly larger, more like a frosted mini-wheats size). They satisfy my daily alcidae needs.
posted by milovoo at 2:10 PM on December 2, 2004

This just disturbs me. A restaurant devoted to cereal? Somehow stretches the concept a bit too much for me.

Also:

Do they serve Weetabix?

YAY WEETABIX.

Seriously, the greatest cereal ever.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 2:36 PM on December 2, 2004

This is cute, except that I'm hypogycemic; cereal doesn't lend itself as well to portability, like coffee or a bagel; and cereal is not likely to break out of the "breakfast ghetto" (not too many people will have it for lunch, dinner). SO, I would not invest in this failure-to-be.
posted by ParisParamus at 2:54 PM on December 2, 2004

I heard about this on NPR this morning. NPR! Gotta admire the crazy press.
posted by rainbaby at 3:48 PM on December 2, 2004

"In fact, Cereality is so unique, it has a patent pending."

I remember a cereal bar on University Ave in Seattle in the 90's, but I can't find any documentation. It was near Red Light right on the Ave in u-dist.
posted by roboto at 5:58 PM on December 2, 2004