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December 13, 2004 12:41 PM   Subscribe

"You can't buy any better heroin in the world than you can buy in New Jersey" The Drug Enforcement Agency cites New Jersey has having the purest heroin in the United States.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket (32 comments total)

 
With only 12 shopping days until Christmas, I find this kind of information invaluable.
posted by turaho at 12:49 PM on December 13, 2004


"[New Jersey] is considered a gateway state..."

New Jersey: The Marijuana of the East
posted by tpl1212 at 12:55 PM on December 13, 2004


Hating needles as I do, I was wondering where I could get some snortable dope. I'm glad the Ledger gave me the info. All the news that keeps you well.
posted by OmieWise at 12:56 PM on December 13, 2004


...New Jersey also is an ideal entry point...
..."You can't buy any better heroin in the world than you can buy in New Jersey,"...
..."In New Jersey, heroin is inexpensive, it's pure and it's everywhere,"...
...And when it comes to pure heroin, New Jersey is first by a mile...


Brought to you by the New Jersey Board of Tourism.
posted by bachelor#3 at 12:57 PM on December 13, 2004


Awright, we're number one!
posted by Zonker at 12:59 PM on December 13, 2004


You forgot this one, bachelor#3:

"When it comes to heroin, New Jersey and you are perfect together."
posted by turaho at 1:02 PM on December 13, 2004


Damn, I knew there was another reason my brother just moved from NYC to New Jersey.

So if its not the Armpit of the country anymore, is it the webbing between the toes of the country?
posted by fenriq at 1:03 PM on December 13, 2004


"The second watershed moment was 9/11. The U.S. ousting of the Taliban, which had ruthlessly suppressed poppy production, resulted in a 36-fold increase in Afghani poppy production from 2001 to 2003 according to the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy."

Is it true that the Taliban had been suppressing poppy production? Is it true that the U.S. ousted the Taliban?
posted by chowder at 1:06 PM on December 13, 2004


"You can't buy any better heroin in the world than you can buy in New Jersey"

I'll take that challenge...
posted by SweetJesus at 1:10 PM on December 13, 2004


Every freaking post lately is some kind of product endorsement. I'm getting sick of all this Pepsi Blue shit.
posted by eyeballkid at 1:14 PM on December 13, 2004


SmackBlue?
posted by matteo at 1:19 PM on December 13, 2004


iJunk?
posted by hackly_fracture at 1:26 PM on December 13, 2004


I'm from New Jersey and I'm proud about it, I love the Garden State.
I'm from New Jersey and I want to shout it, I think it's simply great.
All of the other states throughout the nation may mean a lot to some;
But I wouldn't want another, Jersey is like no other, I'm glad that's where I'm from.


(source)
posted by Saucy Intruder at 1:27 PM on December 13, 2004


"The Drug Enforcement Agency cites New Jersey has having the purest heroin in the United States."

Heh. I would've thought it was Langley, Virginia...
posted by insomnia_lj at 1:40 PM on December 13, 2004


chowder: Is it true that the Taliban had been suppressing poppy production? Is it true that the U.S. ousted the Taliban?

I can't figure if your being sarcastic here or not chowder so:
Yes the Taliban was heavily suppressing poppy production and therefor heroin because they were attempting to suppress the mountain warlords. The warlords only serious source of funding was heroin. When we went into Afghanistan to get the terrorists we took down the government/Taliban which not only stopped the war they had going with the warlords but gave the warlords a great big power vacuum to grow into. Poppy production zoomed up over night and the general lawlessness of a war zone made smuggling a lot easier. And now you can apparently buy 95% pure heroin on the streets of New Jersey.
posted by Mitheral at 2:01 PM on December 13, 2004


That article reads like something out of a tourist information pamphlet.
posted by pmbuko at 2:07 PM on December 13, 2004


95% pure heroin is awesome. Sydney used to be up around there, but the severe shortages in recent years saw the ass drop out of the market, and suddenly people are cutting it with anything that won't cause instant death (and a couple of things that will...)

Although of course I'd take this as the DEA focusing on the USA and the logic being 'it's the purest here, therefore it's the purest in the world'. I mean, it's 100% pure in some places, right? Or are they only talking about street-level retail in western countries?

(Disclaimer: did not read every article)

"When it comes to heroin, New Jersey and you are perfect together."

That's gotta be the strangest quote ever from a methadone clinic official.
posted by cosmonik at 2:12 PM on December 13, 2004


Stop dis'in Paramus.
posted by ParisParamus at 2:17 PM on December 13, 2004


That's gotta be the strangest quote ever from a methadone clinic official.

"new jersey and you, perfect together" was the slogan of the new jersey tourism bureau.
posted by goddam at 2:23 PM on December 13, 2004


Still a weird thing to say. This is the best article I've ever read in the Ledger. Thanks for the link, Mr. Bucket.
posted by rafter at 2:33 PM on December 13, 2004




Thank you for the response Mitheral. Sometimes I hear or read that the Taliban is still controlling much of Afghanistan. I also hear they are no longer controlling Afghanistan. I feel like I don't have an informed opinion. I suppose I'm having a hard time understanding the state Afghanistan is in right now.

I was being a little sarcastic and a little curious. I admit to not knowing a lot about the subject and appreciate your brief explanation.
posted by chowder at 2:49 PM on December 13, 2004


SmackBlue?

This poppy, it vibrates?
posted by Peter H at 2:53 PM on December 13, 2004


Jersey rep'resennnnt!

"Come, see what's new... in New Jersey!"
--Gov. James McGreevey
posted by nervestaple at 3:00 PM on December 13, 2004


Before New Jersey steals all our tourism, allow me to remind all heroin connaisseurs that we're still the only city in North America with a safe-injection clinic.
posted by ori at 3:17 PM on December 13, 2004


This is interesting. I'm from New Jersey (Middletown - 2 blocks from where Clerks was filmed) and go to school right outside of the state, and I remember a few years ago when there was a brief rash of young people (people my age and some in high school) dying of overdoses, and I became aware of some people in my group of friends who had started freebasing pretty heavily. It was a widely known secret that there was a lot of heroin going around between all the young hipsters in Red Bank. No wonder those two punks I knew had such a hard time getting clean.

God I love Jersey.
posted by deafmute at 3:33 PM on December 13, 2004


Drugs, eh?
posted by I EAT TAPES at 5:07 PM on December 13, 2004


Well, see, but in Paramus, you can't buy your heroin on Sunday.

(ex-Jerseyan)
posted by zoogleplex at 5:23 PM on December 13, 2004


zoogleplex, it would be unfair to the mom and pop heroin dealers if the big heroin chains were able to sell their dope on Sundays.
posted by caddis at 6:05 PM on December 13, 2004


The Drug Enforcement Agency cites New Jersey has having the purest heroin in the United States."

Heh. I would've thought it was Langley, Virginia...
posted by insomnia_lj at 1:40 PM PST on December 13


I suppose the Sopranos really kick CIA butt.
posted by nofundy at 5:12 AM on December 14, 2004


This is no big surprise to me as I always thought you could get the best heroin New York.
posted by longbaugh at 7:00 AM on December 14, 2004


"You can't buy any better heroin in the world than you can buy in New Jersey" as Morrissey says America Is Not The World. I'd be willing to bet that you could find a purer grade of heroin somewhere in the Middle East or South East Asia and considering these are the results of testing on heroin samples from 2002 I think it's a fair bet to say things might be a little different now.
posted by mule at 5:04 PM on December 14, 2004


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