The Real Gore/Bush Debate Transcript

October 20, 2000 10:37 AM

The Real Gore/Bush Debate Transcript -- "The candidates have agreed on these rules: I will ask a question. The candidate will ignore the question and deliver rehearsed remarks designed to appeal to undecided women voters. The opponent will then have one minute to respond by trying to frighten senior citizens into voting for him."
posted by rcade (9 comments total)

Ouch.
posted by ethmar at 12:04 PM on October 20, 2000

That was fun. It was on Looka a couple days back, and seems to be making the rounds. Nobody has the original attributions that I've seen, but it's pretty topical, not just a brushed-over something from way back. Whoever wrote it deserves some kudos.
posted by dhartung at 1:01 PM on October 20, 2000

(Searches on deja.com and elsewhere for "Frampinhamper" haven't turned up anything except the unascribed version.)

I haven't found it online earlier than Looka, 10/17, either. Chuck may have been one of the first to post it. Brad Kellam sent it to him. Presumably he's been asked by Chuck, though. Hmmm.
posted by dhartung at 1:10 PM on October 20, 2000

Amazingly, it's already forked. Some versions present it as a transcript of the SECOND debate, which seems to be the original, and others were modified as if it were the THIRD debate, which when it first appeared hadn't yet occurred.

I soooo bet this is like Mary Schmich's column "Wear sunscreen" that became the "Kurt Vonnegut graduation speech".
posted by dhartung at 1:18 PM on October 20, 2000

FOUND!

The original column was by Joe Blundo of the Columbus Dispatch on October 10th.
posted by dhartung at 1:31 PM on October 20, 2000

How did you find it, Dan?
posted by rcade at 1:37 PM on October 20, 2000

Anyone who votes for Gore is a moron.Anyone who votes for Bush is a complete moron.Proof positive that the American public gets exactly what it deserves.
posted by Mr. skullhead at 4:35 PM on October 20, 2000

After watching about ten minutes of the first Bush/Carter debate I decided the entire concept was a waste of time and haven't watched one of the Presidential candidate debates since.

However, anticipating a train wreck, I confess to having watched Quayle debate Bentson and I'm really glad I did. I have never seen someone crushed so thoroughly. That one has, of course, become legendary now because of the "You're no Jack Kennedy" line (and the buildup to it). Bentson's timing and delivery were flawless.

It was, of course, worked out ahead of time. He didn't come up with that spontaneously. Quayle had been trying to portray himself as Kennedy reincarnated during the entire campaign, and the Bentson team knew that it would come up at least once during the debate, so they prepared for it.

Still, it was marvelous to watch.

I didn't bother with any of the ones this year either.

posted by Steven Den Beste at 8:00 PM on October 20, 2000

AMEN Mr. skullhead!

The two lines that actually made me laugh are:
I served my country in Vietnam. I had an uncle who was a victim of poison gas in World War I. I myself lost a leg in the Franco-Prussian War...

and

In addition, my budget commits $60 trillion over the next 10 years to guarantee that all senior citizens can have drugs delivered free to their homes every Monday by a federal employee who will also help them with the child-proof cap.
posted by redleaf at 3:15 AM on October 21, 2000