Comments on: What not to do this new years

What not to do this new years

mathowie — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:15:58 -0800

Remember this New Year's: Bottle rockets should be fired off from bottles, not your drunken friend's ass (Not really safe for work, but amusing enough to enjoy the stupidity of others).

By: mic stand

mic stand — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:17:35 -0800

Oh. my. god.

By: konolia

konolia — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:18:02 -0800

Well, there's the antidote to goatse.

By: fenriq

fenriq — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:19:27 -0800

Wow! They have to be about the dumbest people ever to think that that was a good idea. How could they NOT think this would be extremely painful? I would have loved to have been the admitting nurse at the ER that night though.

By: substrate

substrate — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:20:07 -0800

Well, at least he didn't launch it from the retractable pink missile silo.

By: tracicle

tracicle — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:20:08 -0800

That's the most retarded thing I have ever seen. I can just imagine my brother doing that.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:20:39 -0800

I think I once saw an [ahem] adult mpeg, where a pretty girl did more or less the same thing but put some kind of small tube in her butt first, thus sparing her the ass burns.

By: 1016

1016 — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:24:21 -0800

jonmc, you *think* you saw an adult mpeg? You sure?

By: arto

arto — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:27:07 -0800

I do NOT want to be exploded from the anus, EVER.

By: Specklet

Specklet — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:27:48 -0800

People should learn to leave things like this to the trained professionals seen on "Jackass."

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:28:39 -0800

1016, I've lost a lot of braincells over the years, I'm not sure of a whole lot.

By: gagglezoomer

gagglezoomer — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:28:43 -0800

This is far less funny the Lindsay Lohan titty post

By: anthill

anthill — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:28:51 -0800

very FARK. Then again, fwwweeeeeeeeeeeeewwwweaii..... *bang*

By: spilon

spilon — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:36:29 -0800

I missed a Lindsay Lohan titty post?

By: pmbuko

pmbuko — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:40:13 -0800

Lindsay Lohan shoots bottle rockets from her titties?

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:40:39 -0800

I missed a Lindsay Lohan titty post? Not to worry, I'm sure there will be more.

By: LairBob

LairBob — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:45:36 -0800

Gotta love the fact that by arching his back in pain, like he does in the middle picture, he's basically keeping the damn thing stuck in his pants, and compounding the whole thing. Try going to work a day or two later, and explaining to your boss why you won't be able to sit for about a month...

By: fenriq

fenriq — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:46:23 -0800

Yeah, make with the pop-tits!

By: metaculpa

metaculpa — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:48:16 -0800

Didn't jackass do something similar? Ah yes. [link to t-shirt for some reason]

By: kamylyon

kamylyon — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:51:34 -0800

matt, matt, matt! This is so wrong/right on so many levels...

By: NationalKato

NationalKato — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:54:42 -0800

yeah, where were you Lohan supporters when the flames were on high? sheesh....

By: moonbird

moonbird — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:55:35 -0800

seconds until matt hits detele.... oh, wait.

By: deborah

deborah — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:55:58 -0800

Where's Darwin when you need him...

By: jefbla

jefbla — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 13:04:04 -0800

From the comments: "i shot a bottle rocket out of my mouth last new years..." What the hell is wrong with our young people?

By: DBAPaul

DBAPaul — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 13:04:47 -0800

new meaning to "screaming asshole"?

By: eyeballkid

eyeballkid — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 13:15:04 -0800

Holy Burning Asshole Mattman!

By: scarabic

scarabic — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 13:16:52 -0800

Reminds me of this doofus, who allowed his frat brothers to tie him to a fence and fire rockets at him [6MB QuickTime video]

By: goethean

goethean — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 13:17:46 -0800

new meaning to "screaming asshole"? Not to mention "flamers"

By: billysumday

billysumday — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 13:28:25 -0800

How could they NOT think this would be extremely painful? Have you ever been drunk?

By: Busithoth

Busithoth — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 13:29:40 -0800

scarabic, that's exactly what I thought of. the rocket that spins in the helmet really nails it. That's a wound you'll remember for quite a while. does this open consumptionjunction links? (NSFjonmc)

By: ChrisTN

ChrisTN — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 13:46:30 -0800

I kinda like the fact that Matt's been posting-while-drunk since the baby announcement. This is a side of him I could learn to love!

By: FunkyHelix

FunkyHelix — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 13:47:45 -0800

Would have loved to have heard the conversation leading up to that. How do you talk someone into letting you launch a rocket out of their ass?

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 13:49:37 -0800

By: zoogleplex

zoogleplex — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 13:59:14 -0800

"I Triple Dog Dare You" is often quite effective. Even if it's a breach of dare protocol.

By: fenriq

fenriq — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 14:01:09 -0800

I was thinking it was more along the lines of "What? Are you some kind of pussy?" and Mr. Drunk Dumbass can't let THAT go so he drops trou and hilarity and third degree burns ensue.

By: Yellowbeard

Yellowbeard — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 14:04:31 -0800

Uh, I have to say that I would also be very in favor of seeing Lindsey Lohan ta-tas.

By: NationalKato

NationalKato — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 14:04:34 -0800

'cause as we all know, bottle rockets aren't hot or anything...

By: mkultra

mkultra — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 14:41:46 -0800

Wait, wait, wait, we need focus here, people. What's this about Lindsey Lohan's tits?

By: xammerboy

xammerboy — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 14:43:02 -0800

It's hard to imagine doing this, and even harder to imagine posting it online after.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 15:26:09 -0800

When I saw Lindsay Lohan's tits, I launched a rocket. But not out of my ass.

By: notsnot

notsnot — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 16:11:51 -0800

Jonmc, I believe the woman who did the "anal bottlerockets" went by the nickname "Viveca Vengeance". There was no tube used, just her colon.

By: felix betachat

felix betachat — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 16:46:33 -0800

paging #18128

By: NationalKato

NationalKato — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 17:07:04 -0800

i seem to have started an underground Lohan phenomenon.

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 17:25:10 -0800

Hey, I thought this was a video. Where's my video? MetaFilter - See: FARK.

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 17:29:49 -0800

scarabic: Thank you!

[Rocket Guy] - Where's the water!? Where's the water!? [Guy With Water] (Dumps water on burning shirt) [Rocket Guy] - On HIM you idiot!

By: nyxxxx

nyxxxx — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 17:30:43 -0800

http://tinyurl.com/67qf8 Better pics, with video. No burns. Much less work safe.

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 20:52:08 -0800

paging #18128 I do not condone this tomfoolery. Bottle-rocket ass-launching should be attempted only under qualified adult supervision. Carry on.

By: Kilovolt

Kilovolt — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 22:13:45 -0800

I am so confused. I thought metafilter was for intelligent discourse. And now the 'boss' brings us this! Having a child must be taking a toll. Hope you feel better soon Mr. H.

By: sycophant

sycophant — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 22:53:49 -0800

See I was watching that human target one with the guy on the fence, and I was thinking to myself, "that's not too bad, as long as he doesn't get one inside the helmet..." Dumbass.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 16 Dec 2004 02:59:20 -0800

The funniest thing about the one with the guy up against the fence is that when his buddies run over with their meager fire-fighting water supplies they try to extinguish everything except his head. Though, a bottle rocket in the cheeks? Woah, now there's brainpower in action. I wonder if it had a report or a starburst charge? Looks big enough to pack a wallop. Though, I remember being dumber and younger and having firework fights with Class C, contraband and homemade fireworks and being pretty consistantly surprised that no one was ever driven off in an ambulance. Granted, we wore makeshift armor and shielding and stuff, and we certainly wouldn't be so dumb as to use our own ass as a launcher. That's what pipes are for. You can aim them at stuff. Like other people. Y'know, 'cause they're aiming back at you.

By: zeikka

zeikka — Thu, 16 Dec 2004 06:52:09 -0800

Even though I don't have any proof I would bet that the bottle rocket guys are Finnish. They have the look and one of the guys is holding a bottle that looks very much like cheap Finnish sparkling wine "Kulta-Kavaljeeri." Ohh -- this makes me miss my homeland so bad...