Being an egg gets you laid.

December 17, 2004 10:04 AM

Shower gel gets you laid. iTunes gets you laid. National Public Radio gets you laid. Craigslist gets you laid (if you're a Republican). Obscure Jewish humor apparel gets you laid. Going vegan gets you laid, unless you're a nice guy, natch. [All links SWF. First link leads to an advert that may not be.]
posted by fatllama (30 comments total)

Advertisers are just sooo creative!
Forgot a few (million): beer gets you laid, shiny new cars get you laid, coffee gets you laid, ad infinitum.
posted by nofundy at 10:13 AM on December 17, 2004

You what gets me laid?

My penis. Yep.
posted by fenriq at 10:14 AM on December 17, 2004

Jeeeeeez, I suck. You KNOW what gets me laid?

Apparently not my utter lack of ability to proof my witticisms. I'm gonna go inhale some hair spray.
posted by fenriq at 10:15 AM on December 17, 2004

The iTunes link is pretty funny. The selected plalist in the screenshot of the iTunes window says "Hi. I'm Harry. Harry Arschlock. Room B105."

The last name is pretty close to "asshole" in German.

Ok, then. I thought it was funny.
posted by pmbuko at 10:33 AM on December 17, 2004

DEFINITION: NICE GUY - A term used by a woman to depict a male who is courteous, considerate, and dependable, and therefore undesirable as a mate. (Syns: Gentleman, True Friend).
Ha HA ha...mho the use of "nice guy" is about the only positive thing you can say when describing him. Feel "nice" means tool like jerk. Think about it the next time you only describe a male friend as "nice."

Also, how can he be dependable if he can't accomplish his sexual needs.
posted by thomcatspike at 10:35 AM on December 17, 2004

BitternessFilter: According to the last site linked, the week before Valentine's Day is officially Dump Your Significant Jerk Week. Heh.
posted by fatllama at 10:40 AM on December 17, 2004

From the iTunes link: "One neighbor has playlists of Swedish hip-hop..."

Seriously, can someone point me towards some representative Swedish hip-hop?
posted by john m at 10:58 AM on December 17, 2004

Swedish hip-hop
Dr. Alban
posted by thomcatspike at 11:02 AM on December 17, 2004

Amusing post - thanks
posted by scarabic at 11:06 AM on December 17, 2004

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swedish_hip_hop
posted by borkingchikapa at 11:11 AM on December 17, 2004

I fucking wish.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 11:16 AM on December 17, 2004

Seriously, can someone point me towards some representative Swedish hip-hop?

No, but some of Steve Malkmus's stuff is said to have a Swedish Reggae sound.
posted by juiceCake at 11:20 AM on December 17, 2004

C'mon. We're a bunch of internet geeks. Nothing will get us laid.
posted by jonmc at 11:59 AM on December 17, 2004

Except perhaps the internet itself. . .
posted by rainbaby at 12:12 PM on December 17, 2004

Oddly enough, yesterday in the library at my school, some girl came up to me and complimented me on my music. I didn't even realize I was sharing it, and I have a girlfreind, so it did not, however led to sex.
posted by hughbot at 12:20 PM on December 17, 2004

jonmc, apparently you're not aware of Cruisingforsex.com. Sure, its a gay hook up site, oh wait, NOW you're getting picky about the laying part?

Geez!
posted by fenriq at 12:44 PM on December 17, 2004

Oddly enough, yesterday in the library at my school, some girl came up to me and complimented me on my music. I didn't even realize I was sharing it...

Sounds to me like a subtle hint that your headphones were way too loud.
posted by kickingtheground at 12:48 PM on December 17, 2004

fenriq, sites like that are merely technologically updated versions of the little black book or the men's room wall for people who'd be getting some anyway. The actual netizens, hey, if we had any social aptitude we wouldn't be hanging out online. :)
posted by jonmc at 12:50 PM on December 17, 2004

Only 2 things seem to have ever reliably gotten me laid: playing guitar in a hair band; girls being drunk. Often the two were combined, but since I don't play out anymore, the latter is theoretically predominant now (tho that doesn't seem to be working too well either).

Of course I'd like to be optimistic and think it was my personal attractiveness and scintillating personality doing it for me... but I know better.
posted by zoogleplex at 12:54 PM on December 17, 2004

Only 2 things seem to have ever reliably gotten me laid: playing guitar in a hair band; girls being drunk

Heh. Know the feelin' , zoogleplex my man.


posted by jonmc at 12:58 PM on December 17, 2004

Hahaha, jonny... yeah I know you know it! hehehe... cracked me up, thanx. Party on.
posted by zoogleplex at 1:12 PM on December 17, 2004

Did it occur to anyone else that fatllama was googling for things help you get laid? (Or are we not supposed to mention that?)
posted by mudpuppie at 2:47 PM on December 17, 2004

You mean that's not normal?

Maybe I need a big change in my life.
posted by zoogleplex at 3:09 PM on December 17, 2004

Being on NPR has not gotten me laid.
posted by inksyndicate at 3:27 PM on December 17, 2004

Mudpuppie - Ha ha. Somehow the second and third thinks crossed my path independently this morning so then I went hunting since I smelled a decent FPP. And I'm none the wiser, btw.

Also, regarding Swedish hip hop, anyone know if that genre is represented in dobbs' now famous List? Just curious.
posted by fatllama at 3:28 PM on December 17, 2004

From the NPR link:
Women are sending an additional signal: “I consider myself smart and sophisticated and if I get pregnant, I will have an abortion. I might consider a three-way.”
Now what Fantasy Island did they get that idea from?

And I must say...being a female makes it laughably easy to get laid.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:58 PM on December 17, 2004

Well, duh, SL of G, theat's the one power women have over men and you all weild it with relish, don'tcha?

Of course, the only reason men do anything is in the hopes than women will exercise that power on them in particular. It's a circle of insanity, it is.
posted by jonmc at 4:09 PM on December 17, 2004

I don't know anything about Swedish hip hop, but if it will get me laid, then I'll happily sign your petition.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:33 PM on December 17, 2004

Of course, the only reason men do anything is in the hopes than women will exercise that power on them in particular. It's a circle of insanity, it is.

Yeah, but without this ever-present motivator, there would be no funk music, and that would be bad.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:41 PM on December 17, 2004

Metafilter gets you laid! Ok, maybe not... It would be nice though.
posted by pumpkinhead at 4:23 AM on December 19, 2004