I'm a survivor I aint gon/ give up

December 17, 2004 2:49 PM

Let me on survivor!!! Oh the lack of justice! Canadians make up 10% of the Survivor audience and yet the show doesn't want to allow canadians to be on the show. This young courageous man wants to change the rules, and he thinks he qualifies to be a good survivor. Because after all 'Canadians live in igloos 50% of the year, so we're perfect for outdoor survival reality-tv shows '. So he's on a crusade to be the first canadian citizen on the show, and ask people to sign his petition.
posted by Sijeka (40 comments total)

I'm pretty sure the Eskimo's are the ones who live in igloos.

Besides, Canada wouldn't exist without the US (warning, Ann Coulter link, click with extreme prejudice) so Canada owes us the favor, not the other way around.

Why doesn't Canada just put on their own Survivor? Oh yeah, right, because no one would watch it. I don't have a problem with this guy getting on the show so long as he's the first one voted off.
posted by fenriq at 2:56 PM on December 17, 2004

By the way, why would he want a toque? Dictionary.com says its a small woman's brimless hat.
posted by fenriq at 2:59 PM on December 17, 2004

I think it's a private joke directed to canadians... :)
posted by Sijeka at 3:00 PM on December 17, 2004

fenriq, you hoser. Get up to the great white north, eh. Everyone's got a toque. Helps you avoid all the flying hockey pucks.
posted by mathowie at 3:10 PM on December 17, 2004

Ahh, satire? I hear that's big on those internets this year.
posted by fenriq at 3:12 PM on December 17, 2004

*whispers* And fans of Strange Brew
posted by Four Flavors at 3:13 PM on December 17, 2004

'Hoser'= best word ever, eh.
posted by Sijeka at 3:13 PM on December 17, 2004

Uh oh, Matt's gone Strange Brew again, someone whack him in the back of the head with a broom.

As an aside, I do absolutely love it when a Canadian says anything including the word "abut". I don't know why, its a lovely little word.
posted by fenriq at 3:13 PM on December 17, 2004

Isn't it aboot?
posted by Sijeka at 3:14 PM on December 17, 2004

This is toque. Jeepers fenriq lets not start the eskimo thing again.
posted by arse_hat at 3:14 PM on December 17, 2004

He's right. It really is bullshit. However, it's just as much the fault of Canadian TV networks for carrying a show that discriminates against them and the Canadian public for watching it enough to create demand.
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:14 PM on December 17, 2004

I'm from France, living in Canada for a year, so I don't really realise the importance of US media in Canada . But I know it's a big deal for them canadians.

I keep on hearing young hipsters bitiching about how Much Music used to be the best music channel ever, until it turned into 'MTV canada', airing american shows from mtv or VH1 all the time instead of playing good indie music.
posted by Sijeka at 3:19 PM on December 17, 2004

arse_hat, I actually had typed Inuit before but wasn't sure so I backpedaled. And a toque is a stupid name for a wool cap? What, does he get kickbacks for referalls to Dictionary.com?

I'm not sure how its spelled as I don't think its a real word but "abut" or "aboot" is fine by me.

Isn't it about time for Strange Brew 2 anyway?
posted by fenriq at 3:20 PM on December 17, 2004

And a toque is a stupid name for a wool cap?

It's the french-from-quebec version. It is a french old word that is not used in France anymore but still used in Quebec and eventually is not used in english-speaking Canada too.
posted by Sijeka at 3:22 PM on December 17, 2004

"And a toque is a stupid name for a wool cap?"
Michael J Fox has no Elvis in him and fenriq has no Canadian in him.
posted by arse_hat at 3:25 PM on December 17, 2004

Also I'll talk aboot abut if you want me too...
posted by arse_hat at 3:27 PM on December 17, 2004

Canadians:

If you sign the petition to let me be considered for Survivor, it would help pave the way for other Canadians to follow. I promise to give it my best shot out there, (and maybe even convince the Americans to sign the Kyoto agreement on my way back).

Just because of that everyone should sign the petition. Kyoto, and such a perfect scenery as wherever Survivor is being filmed, it makes sense.
posted by Sijeka at 3:34 PM on December 17, 2004

Nope, the only Canadian in me is bottled by Molson or Moosehead.

Sijeka, do they still sell Molson Dry? The Canadian (read that, not the watered down American crap version) version was among the best beer I've ever had. And not just because I got laid after drinking it.

Arse_hat, ah bought a boot but ah bit a butt aboot the crack, eh?

Ah, screw it, pass me some of them ketchup potato chips.
posted by fenriq at 3:38 PM on December 17, 2004

fenriq if you get up Michigan way I may buy you a pint or six of these
posted by arse_hat at 3:45 PM on December 17, 2004

They don't have toques or Ketchup chips down there? Dismal.
posted by Evstar at 3:48 PM on December 17, 2004

Dere's no difference between us Canucks an dose guys from the States, eh? Dey're just a buncha osers like you an me. Dey eat dere poutine like de rest of us, eh? Wipe dey're faces with da seviette after dey go to de washroom. Put deir touques on like de rest of us, pay deir cheques at de en of de month just de same. No difference. I was gonna get cable an watch dis survivor, but dere's no ockey dis year so I got da rabbit ears to watch da curling on da CBC instead, eh, but dey broke. I can't wait for de Boxing Day to go shopping for some new ones, eh? Keep your stick on de ice, kids.
posted by jimmythefish at 4:15 PM on December 17, 2004

arse_hat, its a long, long shot but you have a deal!

Jimmythefish, that's some mighty fine talkerating you did there. Hope you didn't hurt anything!
posted by fenriq at 4:20 PM on December 17, 2004

Fuck Molsons. Drink their premium, at least, like Rickard's. Or Sleeman's!

-----

And toque is a far, far better term than "wool cap", you festering wound.

-----

Finally, the "abut" "aboot" nonsense is by far the stupidest "joke" abou us canucks that exists. I honestly don't even get the reference, unless it's an East Coast thing. But you guys have fun up on your "ruffs" putting up christmas lights. I'll be down here acting pretentious and aluff, attempting to spuff your foolish pronounciation. Anyway, enough of me acting guffy. You guys clearly have the language thing down.

*puff. disappears*
posted by The God Complex at 4:22 PM on December 17, 2004

toque = beanie

At least, beanie is what we called them in Southern California.
posted by deborah at 4:27 PM on December 17, 2004

Heh, I wanted to hurt something after watching that Ann Coulter/Tucker Carlson crap. I think I'm gonna hunt down that John Stewart clip just to make myself feel better before I mush home to my igloo here in Calgary. Thank God, too...I was given a DUI on the sled a year ago and had to snowshoe. The summer month was rough.
posted by jimmythefish at 4:33 PM on December 17, 2004

TGC, toque is what you do to a pipe, its not what you put on your head.

And just what the hell is acting guffy? Damnit, I'm still learning all those other quaint colloquiliasms you 'Nucks have to use to make yourselves look and sound different from the US.

Please tell me that a denim jacket and jeans really IS a Canadian tuxedo though?

Jimmythefish, yeah, I'm with you. The Coulter clip is jaw droppingly idiotic. It galls me no end that people quote her and consider her an authority on anything but sticking her finger down her throat to puke up her $50 salad.
posted by fenriq at 4:37 PM on December 17, 2004

There's a great canadian show called "Survivorman" on Outdoor Life Network, featuring a guy by the name of Les Stroud.

They drop him off somewhere in the wilderness and give him a week to make his way over 100 kilometers to a pick-up point. He's got a camera with a hip-mounted holster to film himself, lots of film/batteries, and a knife. Haven't watched too many episodes but it is very edumataining. Makes you wince a lot, like the time he cut his hand open in a South American jungle trying to find water in a tree vine. Bleeding from your palm in the jungle, not good.

Totally different objective from Survivor, of course. He doesn't have to play popularity contest, just find fire, shelter, food, and water (plus entertain).
posted by anthill at 4:40 PM on December 17, 2004

Those aren't colloquialisms. They're me making fun of how you guys say "roof". Say it with me: it's pronounced like "goofy", "spoof", "aloof" and just about every other word constructed in that manner. "I'm just up on the ruff (how it sounds when an American says it) dear."

Toque is not pronounced that way, either ;)
posted by The God Complex at 4:41 PM on December 17, 2004

It's pronounced like 'Luke' but with a T. Touque, I am your father.
posted by jimmythefish at 4:46 PM on December 17, 2004

I can't believe there exists an arrogant bitch so odious as Ann Coulter. How could she possibly be so fucking smug? GAH! Makes me glad we don't get FOX NEWS her— oh wait. Nevermind.
posted by Evstar at 4:46 PM on December 17, 2004

They don't have toques or Ketchup chips down there? Dismal.

Some areas of the US are "Canadian Affective" and have those products. In Maine, a knit cap is often referred to as a "tsook" (approximately) but I've never seen it written. And ketchup chips are popular (along with clam and pickle flavors). This is usually attributed to the high number of people with Quebecois ancestry.
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:10 PM on December 17, 2004

ahh see that is the problem fenriq, a toque is something you wear not something you smoke. The way you pronounced it makes it sound like we smoke our hats. I don't get the "aboot" reference either and it is annoying. But I guess this is what happens when Americans have funny idears aboot other countries. ;)
posted by squeak at 5:10 PM on December 17, 2004

A "tsook"? That's a classic sign of quebecois french, to pronounce an s after a t. It would still be written "toque".

As for Survivor: Why on earth try to get on now? That show is all but dead.
posted by cardboard at 5:40 PM on December 17, 2004

toque = beanie
*smacks deborah in back of head with gumboot*
posted by arse_hat at 6:35 PM on December 17, 2004

I'm going to be a total nerd here and point out that Kel from Survivor 2 grew up in New Brunswick.

I also wore a toque to work today.
posted by krunk at 9:43 PM on December 17, 2004

jimmythefish - Your Canadian dialect is delightful. : )

I think an arctic Survivor would be very interesting, but it will never happen because hot, young chicks don't wander around half naked in the north. Sex sex sex.
posted by digifox at 11:23 PM on December 17, 2004

Why doesn't Canada get its own survivor show?
The Belgian-Dutch version is called Robinson Island and there are other countries that also have their own version. basically, every season, the different production teams rotate islands.
As a survivor, if you end up landing on an island that has already been used for another show, chances are that it has already plundered empty and you get to face some very hungry days.
posted by Timeless at 5:34 AM on December 18, 2004

Why doesn't Canada get its own survivor show?
I'm surprised they don't have one already, what with the Canadian content laws and all.
posted by darukaru at 8:06 AM on December 18, 2004

Why doesn't Canada just put on their own Survivor?

We do. It's called Winter.
posted by boost ventilator at 2:51 PM on December 18, 2004

re: abut/aboot

It's just Canadian raising. When we have a diphthong before a voiceless consonant (as in "about"), we raise the vowel.

To American ears, the Canadian pronunciation of about often sounds like aboot, but this is only an illusion. Because the more familiar pronunciation of /aw/ is articulated with the tongue in a low position, and because it raises to a mid position in Canadian English when the vowel precedes the voiceless obstruents listed above, speakers of other varieties of English will immediately detect the vowel raising, but will sometimes think that the vowel has raised farther than it actually does, all the way to /u/, which is a high vowel--hence the mishearing (and not-quite-right imitation) of this pronunciation as aboot.

(here, with audio files) Most American English accents don't have the vowel that Canadians use in "about", but they hear that it is higher than /aw/, so they assume that it's the next highest vowel in their dialect (/u/) and accuse us of saying "aboot." We can hear all three vowels, and the difference between "about" and "a boot."
posted by heatherann at 9:44 AM on December 19, 2004