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Hummer bummer
January 7, 2005 11:28 AM   Subscribe

Tiny Jeep rescues giant H2.
posted by grrarrgh00 (47 comments total)

 
Via The Red Ferret Journal.
posted by grrarrgh00 at 11:29 AM on January 7, 2005


Aw, how cute.

Not one upraised middle finger, though?

Softies.
posted by chicobangs at 11:31 AM on January 7, 2005


He should have let it die.
posted by fenriq at 11:32 AM on January 7, 2005


Is there an exciting conclusion, here? All I see are pictures of the attempted rescue.

I've pulled several cars and trucks out of tough spots with an all-wheel drive VW Passat Wagon. It's really amazing. Pittsburgh snowstorms? Everyone else stranded? Ford F150 can't make it up the hill? No problem.

Always carry some chain ;-)
posted by odinsdream at 11:35 AM on January 7, 2005


* video clip shows the rescue, sorry!
posted by odinsdream at 11:39 AM on January 7, 2005


this just made my day. I have a divine hatred for those damn H2's
posted by Hands of Manos at 11:45 AM on January 7, 2005


That tiny jeep is almost as big as the H2.
posted by ewagoner at 11:48 AM on January 7, 2005


Yeah, but we had a jeep do the same thing at my parents' farm. Of course, we didn't help him out. We called the sheriff and had him ticket them for trespassing and damaging property. My mom loved that stump!
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 11:49 AM on January 7, 2005


Clearly we need larger and more powerful Hummers.
posted by 31d1 at 11:56 AM on January 7, 2005


If you are all nice and polite to the idiots, does it really make much of a story? Someone's gas guzzler got stuck, someone else's normal sized truck pulled them off, then they raised a toast to their mutual love of pulling stuff. Where is the pathos?
posted by milovoo at 12:02 PM on January 7, 2005


gesamtkunstwerk- My father-in-law found someone off-roading in his swamp. He gave the guy a choice: he would call the cops and press charges, or he could help him out for a small fee. 5 minutes and $200 later, the guy was on his way.
posted by Doohickie at 12:02 PM on January 7, 2005


(On Posting- D'oh!- yeah, the guy was stuck in the swamp.)
posted by Doohickie at 12:03 PM on January 7, 2005


Awww the jeep should have left the Hummer were it is, the toliet (the porta-pottie).

The current Hummer does it have the ability to inflate/deflate the tires from the driver's seat?

Seems the Hummer could have over inflated the tires making some ground clearance above the tree stump’s height. The jeep is lucky that it didn’t burn something up in the drive train…
posted by thomcatspike at 12:07 PM on January 7, 2005


a fascinating study in who has the largest willy. clearly the man in the left hand car is best because he bought a certain car, rather than another kind. well done that man! you have the biggest willy of all. i want to be like you. what do i need to buy?
posted by andrew cooke at 12:10 PM on January 7, 2005


Today we learned on the prestigeous internets :

1. Have a H2 doesn't mean you can drive for shit
2. Actually, means you can drive near shit
3. And get stuck in it and near it at the same time !

Oy man !

Lesson learned: learn your driving you soccer dad !
posted by elpapacito at 12:12 PM on January 7, 2005


thomcatspike: I know the original, pre-H2, Hummer can do that, but I don't know if it can raise the pressure much over nominal.
posted by tommasz at 12:16 PM on January 7, 2005


a fascinating study in who has the largest willy. clearly the man in the left hand car is best because he bought a certain car, rather than another kind. well done that man! you have the biggest willy of all. i want to be like you. what do i need to buy?

Beautiful.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 12:18 PM on January 7, 2005


Actually, wouldn't this be more a study quantifying exactly how little the size of the prize counts, vis à vis the motion of the ocean?
posted by grrarrgh00 at 12:21 PM on January 7, 2005


My favourite David & Goliath Four Wheel Drive moment was staged by an Australian 4x4 magazine. They had a Lada Niva towing a Toyota Landcruiser. Needless to say, the local Toyota marketing people were not particularly happy.
posted by bangalla at 12:29 PM on January 7, 2005


a fascinating study in who has the largest willy.

Actually, Willys was a company that made the original Jeeps. Willys Jeep.

However, I think your analysis of photos is correct.
posted by birdherder at 12:29 PM on January 7, 2005


Wonder if that CJ-8 was stock. People can invest some major money in making their 4X4, "The King of the Hill." Which could make the CJ-8 a higher priced vehicle.
posted by thomcatspike at 12:31 PM on January 7, 2005


Andrew Cooke: surely the moral of the story is size doesn't matter? Not a moral I've ever heard a 4wheel-driver espouse before ... :)
posted by kaemaril at 12:32 PM on January 7, 2005


The cosmic ballet continues, and I for one have enjoyed this portion of the show.
posted by malaprohibita at 12:38 PM on January 7, 2005


Dude. "tiny" jeep?
posted by xmutex at 12:39 PM on January 7, 2005


Note that the jeep that pulled the hummer out of the jam in the video was not the same vehicle as in the photos.

Also note that the little hump the hummer couldn't get back over seemed to be rather insignificant. That it couldn't get over that is a testement to just how crappy a vehicle the H2 is even by the standards of those who'd consider buying one.
posted by ursus_comiter at 12:42 PM on January 7, 2005


I heard of a 965cc Fiat Panda 4x4 (warning: potentially annoying Flash popover ad on this page) pulling a fully-loaded Range Rover out of a Yorkshire bog. As I heard this from the (somewhat sheepish) Range Rover driver, I suspect there was little (if any) willy involved. Especially since the Panda was reportedly driven by a little old lady.
posted by scruss at 12:48 PM on January 7, 2005


People see the Hummer name on a H2 and think it has the same capabilities. It's a glorified Chevy / GMC SUV. The H2 is based on GM Tahoe / Yukon SUV chassis with tricked up body panels to make it a Hummer-Lite. It's a wannabe compared to the H1.
posted by bawanaal at 12:55 PM on January 7, 2005


Actually, Willys was a company that made the original Jeeps.

And hence the line in the Grateful Dead's Sugar Magnolia, "Jump like a Willys in four wheel drive"
posted by terrapin at 12:57 PM on January 7, 2005


this is probably the most redneck post I've ever seen on metafilter.

I should know. I'm from Arkansas.
posted by thisisdrew at 1:04 PM on January 7, 2005


Last week in Tahoe, where it was snowing a lot, I saw a H2 with.... chains on. It was rather comical, I couldn't find a logical explanations:
  1. The H2 handles so poorly that it felt like chains would help,
  2. The owner is a moron and just didn't get it (the one I favor),
  3. The owner is a cheap ass and bought the two wheels drive version -- I don't know if that exists.

posted by NewBornHippy at 1:10 PM on January 7, 2005


> this is probably the most redneck post I've ever seen on metafilter.

I see your point :-)

However, I still favor the one about the dude digging
a hole, spending a night in it and cooking a snake. That was one
Mefi moment.
posted by NewBornHippy at 1:12 PM on January 7, 2005


this is probably the most redneck post I've ever seen on metafilter.

thisisdrew, you must have missed this thread then. That, IMO, is the most redneck thread I have seen here.
posted by terrapin at 1:14 PM on January 7, 2005


NewBornHippy: 4. It was illegal to drive last week in certain areas of Tahoe without chains.

(never thought I'd be defending an H2!)
/Proud Jeep owner
posted by rlef98 at 1:23 PM on January 7, 2005


Oh my god, this is beautiful. It even features a Willys Jeep.
posted by naomi at 1:34 PM on January 7, 2005


OK, OK. "Tiny" bad and I suck. I am, however, immensely proud to have been the progenitor of one of MeFi's most redneck posts.

Gay? Check. Black? Check. Catholic? Check. Redneck? Check-PLUS, baby.
posted by grrarrgh00 at 1:41 PM on January 7, 2005


Always carry some chain ;-)

You should use a tow strap rather than a chain to pull people out. A chain has no give which means it can administer a shock load that can rip attachment points off resulting in a sometimes nasty projectile.

Bonus: a strap is cheaper than a grade 70 (transport) chain and won't rust either. Just keep it away from prolonged UV exposure.

NewBornHippy the thing with tire chains is by the time you actually _need_ them it's too late to put them on. You'd see a lot less SUVs in the ditch if everyone didn't think 4WD is the answer to everything. Chains are the right tool when your dealing with solid frozen water (either ice or frozen mud). I've got studded tires on my powerwagon for winter but I still shine up the chains (which I carry everywhere) at least once each season.
posted by Mitheral at 1:44 PM on January 7, 2005


"People can invest some major money in making their 4X4, "The King of the Hill." "

As anyone who has ever owned a Jeep® knows well, the letters J-E-E-P stand for Just Empty Every Pocket.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:55 PM on January 7, 2005


Common, this doesn't mean a H2 is crap. It just means the driver is careless and can't control or throttle through common brush.

I've pulled a lot of heavy vehicles out with four wheelers.

4WD is 75% mental, 25% mechanical. It's about picking your routes, understanding how to apply power, and getting an overall feel for your vehicle. If you doubt me, I have many photos I'm proud of.
posted by sled at 2:11 PM on January 7, 2005


So, is there actually ANY benefit to these things? I've lived in snow my whole life, and I have to say I really enjoy the thrill of winter driving. I'd hazard to say that skill trumps anything in bad weather. I'd borrow odinsdream's Passat before any Jeep, Hummer or Tahoe.
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 2:20 PM on January 7, 2005


People who equate automobiles with penises are shallow thinkers.
posted by rushmc at 2:21 PM on January 7, 2005


Andrew Cooke: "surely the moral of the story is size doesn't matter? Not a moral I've ever heard a 4wheel-driver espouse before ... :)"

the old school Land Rover folks don't swing that way
posted by hatchetjack at 2:43 PM on January 7, 2005


A truck like vehicle is a requirement if ground clearance is an issue. Or if you have a need to get large bulky equipement someplace in hopitable. Also most AWD cars can't lock all three (if any) diffs where most 4X4 trucks can do the centre and often the rear or both differentials. This is a major advantage in loose stuff or places where only three wheels are on the ground.

Also the way to conquer many types of snow is to "air down" your tires. This is a problem if airing down results in your car's belly scraping things. The larger tires you can fit on a truck can also be be deflated farther and result in a larger contact patch. That being said there is nothing quite like an aired down sammy on 36" tires for cruisin over powdery snow.
posted by Mitheral at 3:07 PM on January 7, 2005


I had no idea there was such an overlap between the 4x4 and MeFi demographics! I also second what bawanaal, mitheral and sled said.

I only encountered two Hummer H1's off-road in my four-wheeling days, and one of those got stuck on a trail because the damn thing was too wide for the trail and got lodged between two trees ...

The original Hummer was well-suited to the task it was designed for (being air-dropped onto a battlefield and transporting troops), but as such, it was intended to be maintained by an Army motor pool. I believe you had to put the engine on a hoist to change the oil filter, for example. Not a problem for the military, but not exactly a $19.95 Jiffy-Lube special for civilians. That is, if it ever needed an oil change. A National Guard pal of mine told me the life expectancy of a Hummer on the battlefield was something like 20 minutes, so if it got as far as needing an oil change, that was a bridge they'd cross when they came to it!

The (in)famous central tire iinflation/deflation was not standard on the civilian model, either. I was a $10,000 option. Ouch.
posted by kcds at 4:18 PM on January 7, 2005


There's something funny about that story. The Jeep is not a 1982 model, because it has square headlights, clearly visible in one picture. Jeeps had round headlights in 1982.

It's obvious what is going on in the pictures, but why is the Jeep described as a 1982 model when it's clearly not?
posted by wadefranklin at 5:17 PM on January 7, 2005


a fascinating study in who has the largest willy. clearly the man in the left hand car is best because he bought a certain car, rather than another kind. well done that man! you have the biggest willy of all. i want to be like you. what do i need to buy?

People who equate automobiles with penises are shallow thinkers.

One of you is being facetious and quite humorous. Which one?? Hmmmmmm...
posted by leftcoastbob at 6:09 PM on January 7, 2005


Even the biggest vehicles can get stuck. Like that stolen m60 tank that got stuck on the highway divider .
posted by tomplus2 at 4:04 PM on January 8, 2005


People who equate automobiles with penises are shallow thinkers.

Ok, fine, so now we simply must know, what kind of car do you drive?
posted by milovoo at 10:06 AM on January 9, 2005


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