The gayest post title ever

January 14, 2005 6:07 PM

Planes, Trains, and Plantains, or the Greatest Essay Ever Written.
posted by swift (27 comments total)

It's like the Peter Nguyen essays, only less subtle!
posted by dhartung at 6:25 PM on January 14, 2005

That dude totally cribbed from me.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:39 PM on January 14, 2005

Wow, just wow. I thought I wrote great essays but I never even thought about remarking "This is the thesis" in my papers. Maybe my damn teachers would understand the point then.
posted by Octoparrot at 6:39 PM on January 14, 2005

MetaFilter: Last weeks news, this week.
posted by bizwank at 6:54 PM on January 14, 2005

You know what, bizwank? I'll tell you what. Chickenbutt.
posted by swift at 7:01 PM on January 14, 2005

Page is to long

Tch. Disappointing.
posted by mhum at 7:02 PM on January 14, 2005

I think it's half of an analogy. You know, "Page is to long as wit is to lacking," or something like that.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:11 PM on January 14, 2005

What's surprising is that the teacher actually graded it and gave him a 61.
posted by jefbla at 7:13 PM on January 14, 2005

While I suppose you had to be there for this to be funny, the real question is what merits it to receive even a D-. Of course assuming that this isn't another one of those goofy internets pranks.
posted by mss at 7:17 PM on January 14, 2005

I'm suspicious this is a prank. If it is for real, then I'm really concerned about the education system... wherever this is from.
posted by vernondalhart at 7:42 PM on January 14, 2005

-15 for the snarky thesis, -13 for the blank page, and -13 for the swearing and wrong facts. Otherwise he would have received a 100, I guess. Also, the teacher thought the line about Greeks giving us Lenny Kravitz and anal sex was funny-with-a-smiley-face.
posted by swift at 7:47 PM on January 14, 2005

er, -11 for swearing, etc. Can't add.
posted by swift at 7:48 PM on January 14, 2005

uh, for those of you who think this was actually graded by a real teacher: note the multiple misspellings in the "grader's" comments.
posted by rxrfrx at 7:54 PM on January 14, 2005

This essay reminded me of this biography of Walt Whitman.
posted by thebestsophist at 8:11 PM on January 14, 2005

"...for those of you who think this was actually graded by a real teacher: note the multiple misspellings in the "grader's" comments..."

There are actually people who think "real" teachers never misspell words in their comments?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:28 PM on January 14, 2005

That Whitman paper will always, always make me convulse with laughter.
posted by NoamChomskyStoleMyFace at 8:35 PM on January 14, 2005

There are actually people who think "real" teachers never misspell words in their comments?

:-/


that, and the grader's cursive looks like mine.
posted by rxrfrx at 8:40 PM on January 14, 2005

Looks like the average liberal arts graduate assistant handwriting to me.
posted by absalom at 8:48 PM on January 14, 2005

i once wrote a paper on postmodernism without using punctuation or capital letters just because postmodernists like to do things like not use punctuation or captal letters and the professor was forced to admit that my paper was worthy of an a plus because well i really proved the point she was trying not to make in class which was that postmodernism is kind of stupid.

it was the easiest paper i ever wrote.
posted by mudpuppie at 9:05 PM on January 14, 2005

fakity-fake-fake.

fake.
posted by joe lisboa at 10:14 PM on January 14, 2005

Also: I think the Whitman paper that thebestsophist linked above is really funny.

There's just something about the amount of (apparent) effort put into the Oedipus paper to make it teh funny that renders it horribly unfunny to me.
posted by joe lisboa at 10:51 PM on January 14, 2005

that, and the grader's cursive looks like mine.

Does anyone still remember how to write in cursive? I know I don't...
posted by sourwookie at 12:12 AM on January 15, 2005

mudpuppie: Though funny, you (and/or your prof.) have a poor grasp on postmodernism if you dismiss it out of hand as "kind of dumb," then use no punctuation and capitalization to prove it.
posted by absalom at 10:05 AM on January 15, 2005

Absalom: You're right. I didn't understand much in that class, which is why writing a shitty paper without punctuation and getting an A+ was so very cool.
posted by mudpuppie at 12:27 PM on January 15, 2005

Apparently, with the new crop around here, you can't make assumptions about what people have seen.

Or that they read.

Or click.

*sigh*
posted by dhartung at 6:27 PM on January 15, 2005

dhartung,

Does that mean there was a "golden age" of MeFi that has now passed?
posted by Reverend Mykeru at 4:39 AM on January 16, 2005

There are actually people who think "real" teachers never misspell words in their comments?

:-/


Does anyone else recall that when Mr J. Danforth Quayle incorrectly corrected a sixth-grader's spelling of potato, he was doing so based on a flash card prepared by ... a teacher?

... AND that the cards had been reviewed by Mr Quayle's handler, who saw nothing amiss either?

Just sayin' ...
posted by kcds at 6:03 PM on January 17, 2005