Comments on: Nice Package, You Future Quadrillionaire You

Nice Package, You Future Quadrillionaire You

digaman — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:21:32 -0800

Bill Gates... so hot [via BoingBoing].

By: digaman

digaman — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:23:23 -0800

I don't know what's going on in that second photo, but it would appear that "Microsoft" was a misnomer.

By: jennanemone

jennanemone — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:28:48 -0800

Oh dear.

By: killdevil

killdevil — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:29:09 -0800

Microsoft: inadvertently hilarious since 1975.

By: odigity

odigity — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:30:52 -0800

it almost works. amazing, that whole marketing thing.

By: hardcode

hardcode — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:33:17 -0800

*shudder* now am I meant to sleep tonight?

By: delmoi

delmoi — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:33:42 -0800

In the first picture he looks very bill-gatesish, but in the second he has this almost normal creepyness. I mean, he looks like a regular guy who wants to bone, or something. And on second glance: digaman, I haddn't noticed that. Thanks for pointing it out.

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:37:24 -0800

Jake Gyllenhaal is BILL GATES in THE YOUNG BILL GATES CHRONICLES.

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:38:50 -0800

By: painquale

painquale — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:45:01 -0800

I think you've got the outline wrong, delmoi. The shape on his left leg is just his pocket all bunched up. It's the area near his right leg that's much more troubling. What's he doing with his hand in the second photo? AS, those Owen Wilson photos are... something else.

By: fletchmuy

fletchmuy — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:46:58 -0800

What's he doing with his hand in the second photo? He's flinging a floppy disk at the camera.

By: c13

c13 — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:50:44 -0800

I'm... . not hungry anymore...

By: internal

internal — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:54:40 -0800

OK, so I will be the stupid one and ask the obvious question: "Is this real?"

By: alumshubby

alumshubby — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:58:01 -0800

Actually, these are relatively appealing pictures of him. But seriously...Teen Beat???

By: painquale

painquale — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 14:00:56 -0800

He's flinging a floppy disk at the camera. I hadn't noticed that. How sensual.

By: NoMich

NoMich — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 14:01:39 -0800

Is that a blue screen of death on the 'puter behind him?

By: ontic

ontic — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 14:06:26 -0800

Nah, NoMich, it's Word 6.0. But I believe that is an original Mac sitting next to it on the right... He looks a little strung out.

By: chickygrrl

chickygrrl — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 14:24:56 -0800

The first thought that went through my head as that picture loaded was that he looks like someone dressed up a very creepy carnie and put him in an office. He just has that look you see when some unsavory character attempts to strike a sexy pose. I almost expected a third image of his mugshot after an arrest for hanging around an elementary school.

By: NoMich

NoMich — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 14:41:55 -0800

I was just kidding about the blue screen o' death comment. And I believe that you are correct. That is a Mac behind him in the first photo. Well, in order to rip Apple off, he had to have one around. Right?

By: dabitch

dabitch — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 14:43:23 -0800

here's your mugshot chickygrrl. ;)

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 14:46:52 -0800

Well, folks, this will likely be the last post you ever read from me, as I must now impale my pupils with red-hot nails. Thanks. Thanks a lot, you bastards.

By: taursir

taursir — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 14:50:18 -0800

And this is considered safe for work?

By: fatllama

fatllama — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 15:09:52 -0800

Is that a blue screen of death on the 'puter behind him? Early beta version.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 15:09:52 -0800

Looking good Bill, looking good.

By: TwelveTwo

TwelveTwo — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 15:12:12 -0800

Hot.

By: rooftop secrets

rooftop secrets — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 15:17:51 -0800

So you're telling me this isn't pie? sorry, I can't help myself. If fff stuck around he's gone for sure now...

By: ilsa

ilsa — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 15:20:33 -0800

"Hey baby. You may not believe it, but someday I'm going to be the richest guy in the world. Aw yeah."

By: rooftop secrets

rooftop secrets — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 15:21:16 -0800

Now we just need a vintage spread for this handsome devil...

By: kindall

kindall — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 16:03:38 -0800

That is a Mac behind him in the first photo. Well, in order to rip Apple off, he had to have one around. Right? Well, also, in order to ship Multiplan and Microsoft BASIC for Macintosh at the same time as the original Mac, Microsoft had to have at least one Mac around...

By: NoMich

NoMich — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 16:07:12 -0800

Bait taker! Bait taker! Well, not the PC/Mac war I was hoping for, but I'll take what I can get.

By: cmonkey

cmonkey — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 16:45:49 -0800

You know what really sucks? Macintoshes. And people who use Macintoshes.

By: squirrel

squirrel — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 17:07:23 -0800

I'd hit it.

By: billsaysthis

billsaysthis — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 17:18:45 -0800

There was a book or article, can't remember, going around two years or so ago, may have even been posted here, which explained quite a few successful male Hollywood actors' careers by correlating them with penis size. Maybe BillG's trying to make the same point for ...um... software.

By: The God Complex

The God Complex — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 17:51:02 -0800

I think he looks hawt.

By: gorgor_balabala

gorgor_balabala — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 17:53:41 -0800

hem, y'all non-male-erotogenics need some practice guaging crotches. that thing is puny! however, his eyes speak the language of love.

By: tapeguy

tapeguy — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 18:04:13 -0800

Bill Gates in 1978: He's the guy at the bottom left, fact fans.

By: euphorb

euphorb — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 18:12:44 -0800

What the fuck 1970s fashion?

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 18:22:08 -0800

Looking good Bill Feeling good, drezdn! And I have a copy of that Microsoft group shot with the text, "Would you have invested?" underneath.

By: squirrel

squirrel — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 19:09:22 -0800

Thanks, tapeguy... now, excuse me while I go play the White Album backwards.

By: jscott

jscott — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 19:24:07 -0800

I'm seeing a lot of people take the joke that this is a Teen Beat spread and just... well, buying it. It's not. I have other photos in this series, and these appear to be additional photos from an advertising spread done by Microsoft in the Mid-1980's, after Bill had begun to make the incredibly big bucks and was really being portrayed as a Wunderkind of the highest order. The photo I have has Bill Gates, same shoot, same everything, but wearing a Santa Hat and holding a drink. I'm surprised it's not shown up on more threads about these photos.

By: jscott

jscott — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 19:41:12 -0800

See? I knew I could find it.

By: jscott

jscott — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 19:43:08 -0800

Ah yes. Now that I've had a chance to compare the two, it's quite obvious the floppy disk one is a photoshop of this christmas one I have.

By: breath

breath — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 19:57:12 -0800

I'd hit it. posted by squirrel at 8:07 PM EST on January 17 Ha ha ha! I can't stop laughing!

By: afx114

afx114 — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 21:17:37 -0800

jscott, I think it's the other way around. That martini glass looks fake, as does the Santa hat.

By: rooftop secrets

rooftop secrets — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 22:12:41 -0800

Yes, the santa one looks like a 'shop of the floppy disk one.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 22:19:49 -0800

With photoshop, I managed to blow up what Gates was typing on the computer in the back. Truly, he was ahead of the times.

By: jscott

jscott — Tue, 18 Jan 2005 00:15:05 -0800

Oh, you know how it is, you hold your little image diamond in your hands, and you're always the last one to admit it's in fact paste, a fake. You're right, I'm hoarding a photoshop. Oh well. Well, now I have the whole set!

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Tue, 18 Jan 2005 05:21:06 -0800

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Tue, 18 Jan 2005 05:30:06 -0800

Dammit, I wish I'd thought of that sooner. Now nobody's gonna see it.

By: armoured-ant

armoured-ant — Tue, 18 Jan 2005 07:18:44 -0800

Who IS that?

By: squirrel

squirrel — Tue, 18 Jan 2005 08:17:15 -0800

I'd Be it.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Tue, 18 Jan 2005 08:50:44 -0800

Out of curiosity, which one of these guys is steve balmer? I'm guessing the creepy balding guy with the goofy mustash in the top left.

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Tue, 18 Jan 2005 09:08:30 -0800

Who IS that? It's Steve Jobs, circa around the same time (mid-80's).

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Tue, 18 Jan 2005 10:57:14 -0800

It always amazes me that Bill got married. I find him among the most unattractive geeky-freaky-looking guys ever. Proof that for everyone, there is someone.

By: rafter

rafter — Tue, 18 Jan 2005 11:01:48 -0800

Proof that for everyone filthy stinkin' rich, there is someone.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Tue, 18 Jan 2005 12:56:22 -0800

If Neil Stephenson has taught me anything, it's that geeks always get the girl.

By: TangerineGurl

TangerineGurl — Tue, 18 Jan 2005 21:35:13 -0800

he's high.......................... did anyone notice??

By: sellout

sellout — Wed, 19 Jan 2005 00:37:37 -0800

Oh, great. Bill Gates and his 5 1/4 inch floppy.

By: squirrel

squirrel — Wed, 19 Jan 2005 06:09:17 -0800

Yeah, he does look high. Pot was a big part of that culture at the time. Not that it isn't a big part of the developer/programmer culture now; just not probably a big part of the billionaire CEO culture. Who knows, though? It was pretty clear five years ago, when he took those pies in the face and reacted so poorly, that he had started going to different parties a while back. Think of it: he might have actually been a fun and cool guy at one time. [cue shouting Steve video]

By: mannythedog

mannythedog — Wed, 19 Jan 2005 16:32:25 -0800

It would be fabu-tastic to see vintage photos of this hunky hunk of man hunk too... Second Steve anyone?

By: jennanemone

jennanemone — Wed, 19 Jan 2005 20:01:33 -0800

Man. Snopes: It's him, but he isn't posing for Teen Beat.