SpongeBob Gaypants

January 21, 2005 5:02 AM

SpongeBob Gaypants?conservative christian groups warn that the fictional cartoon character SpongeBob Squarepants "is being exploited to promote the acceptance of homosexuality."
posted by three blind mice (106 comments total)

Spongebob eats babies and makes baby Jebus cry ! Why do you hate gaymerica ?
posted by elpapacito at 5:08 AM on January 21, 2005

James Wolcott has a new name for Focus on the Family's James Dobson: Spongebob Stickypants.
posted by dyaseen at 5:10 AM on January 21, 2005

A lot of these good Christians need to look long and hard (no pun intended) at why they see homosexuality everywhere. It would be interesting to see the results of Dobson's inkblot test--probably sees a whole lot of hot gay sex in those inkblots.
posted by leftcoastbob at 5:16 AM on January 21, 2005

Um. The link is different, but the subject matter is the same. So ... pseudo-double post.
posted by grabbingsand at 5:18 AM on January 21, 2005

similarly

"But conservatives say it sees the video as a cunning attempt to promote homosexuality.

"They point to the fact that the WAFF (We Are Family Foundation) is linked to a pledge being promoted by some liberal groups which includes a recognition of tolerance of sexual identity."

Woah, step back from the tolerance, folks. That's not Jesus' way.

And besides, they're making a video starring Big Bird, and we know that guy's got a whole wardrobe full of glitter back at the nest.
posted by NinjaPirate at 5:19 AM on January 21, 2005

claim the scalp grabbingsand. you got me.

matt - delete away.
posted by three blind mice at 5:21 AM on January 21, 2005

Denouncing cartoon characters? That is soooo gay.

But seriously, I think those conservative christians need to get used to the fact that children's TV characters have sex lives too. It is an open secret that Ernie and Bert are a happily cohabitating gay couple, for example. Bert, btw, is a Vietnam vet, although I don't buy into the theory that he's a serial killer. And Barney? Obviously a child molester, what with that eery voice and the touching and the hugging.
posted by sour cream at 5:21 AM on January 21, 2005

> A lot of these good Christians need to look long and hard (no pun intended)
> at why they see homosexuality everywhere.

Oh, don't spout unconsidered cliches. Gayness has a high PR profile. References to the state and its ramifications are very commonly encountered.

Now, if gayness were back in the closet and these folks still saw it everywhere, you'd have had a point.
posted by jfuller at 5:25 AM on January 21, 2005

You mean SongeBob Squarepants is gay? Really? I never saw that one coming.....
posted by Doohickie at 5:29 AM on January 21, 2005

Where were these guys when all kinds of unhealthy hetero innuendo was packed into the old Loony Tune cartoons?
posted by Doohickie at 5:30 AM on January 21, 2005

Wow! I always thought that SpongeBob was all about LSD.

After all, doesn't that old Hendrix song go:

"But hey, are you ... absorbent and yellow and porous?
Well I am...."
posted by mmahaffie at 5:36 AM on January 21, 2005

They never complain about the gay Republican cartoon characters like Uncle Scrooge McDuck or Little Richie Rich.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 5:43 AM on January 21, 2005

A lot of these good Christians need to look long and hard (no pun intended) at why they see homosexuality everywhere.

If you hold in your hand a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
If you hold in your hand Leviticus 18:22, everything looks gay.
posted by mikeinclifton at 5:44 AM on January 21, 2005

He lives in a pineapple under the sea. Hellllloooooo!
posted by ColdChef at 5:47 AM on January 21, 2005

Christians issue gay warning on SpongeBob video

What exactly is a "gay warning?" This headline definitely could have been worded better.
posted by boymilo at 5:48 AM on January 21, 2005

When something threatening appears on the Gaydar, you have to issue a Gay Warning. I believe the color-coded Gay Alert stands at lavender.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 5:55 AM on January 21, 2005

Are they still angry about Bert and Ernie these days, or are there too many new boogeymen they have to worry about guarding their poor, defenceless children against?
posted by The Card Cheat at 5:56 AM on January 21, 2005

...at why they see homosexuality everywhere

It's probably having to do with the same reasons that back in the 80's everyone looked like a communist. They seem feed on the fear-du-jour. And what better group of folks too? They already fear their creator!

But more on-topic: if Bob and Patrick being best of friends and show an outpouring of love for each other means they must have teh ghey, what about Davey and Goliath (or insert any other you can think of)? I'm more inclined to believe people who shout absurdities like this and go on campaigns do so for any sort of attention they can muster, although, sadly, they can be quite dangerous. sigh.
posted by LouReedsSon at 5:59 AM on January 21, 2005

Gay Warming, of course, is something different entirely. Too many homosexual penguins are frolicking and cavorting on the icecaps, causing melting and flooding.

on preview: Card Cheat, don't forget The Teletubbies!
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 5:59 AM on January 21, 2005

Christians issue gay warning on SpongeBob video

What exactly is a "gay warning?" This headline definitely could have been worded better.
posted by boymilo at 5:48 AM PST on January 21

I think its some sort of Homeland Security Terror Alert level Pink?
posted by nofundy at 6:11 AM on January 21, 2005

They seem (to) feed on the fear-du-jour.

Seem to? Their entire philosophical world view depends on the existence of as well as the demonization of some other. Otherwise, what do they have to react and rage against? Funny that they have control of the White House, both Houses of Congress, the Governors Mansions, etc... and we STILL keep hearing about "moral decay", the liberal media and that Christians are being persecuted by "the Left". It's absurd.
posted by psmealey at 6:13 AM on January 21, 2005

Those spiritual foundations must be pretty shaky to be threatened by a cartoon sponge.
posted by ronin21 at 6:16 AM on January 21, 2005

Anybody got a link to them gay warnings?
posted by saysthis at 6:27 AM on January 21, 2005

References to the state and its ramifications are very commonly encountered.

Your heart doesn't really seem to be in this particular apologia.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 6:29 AM on January 21, 2005

This is all Tinky Winky's fault.
posted by carter at 6:31 AM on January 21, 2005

I'm looking forward to the "Gay Warning Alert System."
"High! Pink: Stay away from artsy theaters."
"Elevated! Pink: Cautiously view network television."
"Moderate! Pink: It's ok to touch another guy, if you're saving his life."
posted by dougunderscorenelso at 6:32 AM on January 21, 2005

I wonder what all these Bible thumpers would think about a guy in 2005 who was about 30, wasn't married, started a club with twelve 'members' - all men, would let a prostitute wash his feet and not even give her a reach-around, spoke of loving all man, loving your enemy, wore a dress, had long hair, a beard and fought the establishment.


gay.
posted by j.p. Hung at 6:45 AM on January 21, 2005

wore a dress, had long hair, a beard...

don't forget the sandals.
posted by three blind mice at 6:47 AM on January 21, 2005

Exactly j.p. That kind of reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw a while back:

Jesus is Coming.... and we'll get him again!
posted by psmealey at 6:48 AM on January 21, 2005

I believe the color-coded Gay Alert stands at lavender.

You bitch! I thought we agreed on Cranberry Frost?
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:51 AM on January 21, 2005

"Jesus is Coming.... Look busy!"
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:52 AM on January 21, 2005

I highly doubt these people actually consider SpongeBob to be a tool of homosexual recruitment. These people are manufacturing controversy to get media attention to get their core anti-gay message out. All they have to do is make it seem like their message is everywhere and they've won.
posted by nixerman at 6:54 AM on January 21, 2005

What I'm not quite understanding about this 'bible says gay' is bad....isn't the 'badness' called an abomination, and isn't the cure to just go bathe?
posted by rough ashlar at 6:55 AM on January 21, 2005

Just gotta say... once upon a time, the Repubs stood for small government, fiscal conservatism, and laissez faire attitude towards what people did in their own homes. Now we get "OMG TEH JESUS H8S TEH GAY SPONGE!@#" and a government that's the size of.. well, the government.

Is there ANYONE politically left out there who actually thinks that way, outside of the libertarians who stand roughly a hothouse flower's chance in NYC this weekend of surviving an election?

I wonder what WAFF would think if they knew Steve, the former host of Blue's Clues was queerer than a $3 bill. OMG TEH GAY BLUE DOGGIE!@
posted by fet at 6:56 AM on January 21, 2005

A particular cult sect of people fear and hate gays.
That particular sect subscribes to Christianity
Therefore all Christians must hate and fear gays
posted by Hands of Manos at 6:56 AM on January 21, 2005

Everyone knows that Spongebob isn't the gay one Squidward is.
posted by MikeMc at 6:57 AM on January 21, 2005

what about Davey and Goliath

And David and Jonathan.
posted by raygirvan at 6:59 AM on January 21, 2005

When Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, and Yosemite Sam dressed up as--and pretended to be--women, did that make them gay?
posted by fandango_matt at 6:59 AM on January 21, 2005

you should see the bert and ernie kama sutra.
posted by moonbird at 6:59 AM on January 21, 2005

ps: I just saw the tail end of Fet's "WAFF" and thought "huh?" Then I thought "Oh I get it!!! 'We Are Fat Fucks!!'" I was really disappointed that it was a conservative family thing
posted by Hands of Manos at 7:00 AM on January 21, 2005

Everyone knows that Spongebob isn't the gay one Squidward is.

MikeMc it is the abomination of Spongebob's acceptance and tolerance of Squidward that will make our little yellow friend burn in the eternal fires of hell.

this is the christian message of love contained in the article.
posted by three blind mice at 7:02 AM on January 21, 2005

When Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, and Yosemite Sam dressed up as--and pretended to be--women, did that make them gay?

great horny toads.
posted by three blind mice at 7:05 AM on January 21, 2005

once upon a time, the Repubs stood for small government, fiscal conservatism, and laissez faire attitude towards what people did in their own homes.... Is there ANYONE politically left out there who actually thinks that way...?

The fact that many "conservative" politicians have changed their positions reminds me (once again) of that sad fact: most politicians are in it for the job, not for their beliefs. The same can be said of most liberal politicians as well, I believe.

Then again, demanding changes makes you look busy, and all changes require funding, so maybe the fiscal conservative simply died out from not looking busy enough. It's hard to argue against someone promising The Better Life by saying "our job is not to act, but react".
posted by Maxson at 7:08 AM on January 21, 2005

Nixerman, I won't doubt that religious groups manufacture controversy but you're kidding yourself if you think they don't really hold this belief. Yes, church's are big business. Note how every new development is usually preceded by a church, synagogue and usually some Calvary bullshit factory. But talk to some of these dolts. They come to my door on occasion (and sadly bring their children for the brainwashing class) and although I do enjoy the petty torments I can heap upon them, these fucks really believe this stuff.

I live in Philly. I can go literally 20 minutes outside the city and be overwhelmed with religious symbolism and placards. Most of the signage has little to do with the glory of God/Jesus. Many of them are stern warnings about the end coming or the vengeance of the Lord. A big finger pointing at you telling you your a sinner and your only salvation is to go down to so and so's church and tithe your little ass off (preacher needs a new Escalade).

God must get a good laugh at this little experiment down here. I wonder how it's going in the other galaxies?
posted by j.p. Hung at 7:11 AM on January 21, 2005

great horny toads.
posted by three blind mice

Horny toads, eh? This a cunning attempt to promote Toad Sex!
Alert the Christo-Facists!
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 7:15 AM on January 21, 2005

Card Cheat, don't forget The Teletubbies!

Ah, yes, Tinky Winky and his trianglular antenna of gayness, beaming the homosexual agenda directly into our kids' brains...most nefarious.

Really, this sort of thing was best commented on the scene in, I think, Futurama where an angry mob is protesting something to do with cartoons and one guy has a sign with Beavis and Butthead crossed out and replaced with his source of outrage du jour.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:20 AM on January 21, 2005

First Tinky Winky, now SpongeBob...heck, even Spiderman will make you gay!
posted by SisterHavana at 7:33 AM on January 21, 2005

Therefore all Christians must hate and fear gays

but, see, hands of manos, that's the thing about xians: they always end up "no true scotsman"-ing each other.

a tolerant and loving christian like, say for example, mefi's own sidhedevil, will say that people like this aren't true christians or aren't really living life according to what christ preached; members of that group would say the same things of her and others like her.

lately i've come to see that all large groups end up doing this to each other: some liberals say no true liberal would refuse to participate in not one damn dime day, others say no true liberal would block the path of people minding their own business at the coronation; some conservatives say no true conservative would behave the way the bush admin behaves, karl rove says no true conservative would ever question or criticize the president; and so on.

damn this diversity of opinions and beliefs within a group! damn it!
posted by lord_wolf at 7:38 AM on January 21, 2005

This is kind of a hot topic with me, so I pulled some sniplets of articles:

From Ethics Daily
James Dobson, a leading evangelical figure, wants conservative judges appointed that will outlaw abortion and gay marriage—two hot button evangelical moral concerns. He recently wrote his Focus on the Family constituents that any senator who fails to endorse President Bush’s judicial nominees “will be in the ‘bulls-eye.’”

So much for gentle persuasion.

Many Christians are celebrating this get tough approach to spreading the faith, but they should not be too excited. This is not how faith spreads--this is how faith dies. History is littered with the debris of faith communities that have tried to force their way on others.

In fact, it was just such a evangelistic group that nailed Jesus to the cross.

Another Link from Ethics Daily
AWAB leaders also labeled a “subtly misleading” phrase in the November letter: “The prevailing view among American Baptists is that ‘the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teachings.’”

“This misleads twice,” the AWAB letter charged, “once in implying that such data exists, and again in implying that the Gospel is somehow to be decided by majority vote.”

The AWAB leaders also questioned the ministers’ commitment to “pray and work constructively to embrace our unity in Jesus Christ and promote our fidelity to his teachings.”

“The implication that someone can somehow derive discrimination and bigotry from the teachings of Christ is an outrage to all who would live a Christ-like life,” they wrote.
posted by Hands of Manos at 7:38 AM on January 21, 2005

How do you reconcile this:

SpongeBob, who lives in a pineapple under the sea, was "outed" by the U.S. media in 2002 after reports that the TV show and its merchandise are popular with gays

With this:

The video is a remake of the 1979 hit song "We Are Family"?

Like being a Spongebob fan is "gay" and Disco isn't?
posted by sourwookie at 7:45 AM on January 21, 2005

Thank God someone's protecting us from the naked David Hasselhoff.
posted by fandango_matt at 7:45 AM on January 21, 2005

I'm just waiting patiently for the day when the far-right overreaches and becomes a joke upon itself. One idiot at a time, first Falwell, now Dobson. I just wish the religious right wouldn't vote in such high percentages.
posted by Arch Stanton at 7:54 AM on January 21, 2005

Mr. Dobson,

John Wayne was a fag.

Yours,
trondant
posted by trondant at 8:06 AM on January 21, 2005

Therefore all Christians must hate and fear gays

I think this implication was trying to be avoided in the content of the FPP by using the adjective "conservative" before Christian (both of which have been widely hijacked as it were as fet pointed out).

It is unfortunate that the those who shout loudest and are most extreme get the most attention (ie. see Islam as well). There are many who prescribe to generalizations but I didn't notice it in this thread. Of course fundamentalists (how ironic) stand contrary to what they proclaim and should be called out on it. Calling out however gets us responses outside of any rational argument structure (see debates with Paris on any number of subjects for an example.)

My nieces love Spongebob. My sister, though not lesbian, has lesbian slogan stickers on her fridge. She's letting the kids discover their own sexuality. I find that giving people some credit rather than passing them off as mindless and indeterminate creatures that can be so easily influenced by messages in cartoons, either explicit or subtle to be the way to go rather than insulting them. The complexity of identity is entirely rejected by these folk. Indeed, they seem to want to create a society where critical thinking and analysis is removed, thus working toward creating individuals who are easily influenced. Self fulfilling prophecy and all that...
posted by juiceCake at 8:10 AM on January 21, 2005

Who could have known that the inflatable SpongeBobs which recently festooned Burger King outlets across the country were actually secretly beaming Teh Gay onto the unsuspecting populace?! Horrors! They even tried to cover up an accident with the GayTron device!

The BURGER KING system operates more than 11,220 restaurants in all 50 states and in 60 countries and territories around the world.

Imagine the frequent flier miles that Fred Phelps will earn during this protest.
posted by casu marzu at 8:11 AM on January 21, 2005

"I'm just waiting patiently for the day when the far-right overreaches and becomes a joke upon itself."

Huh? Calling a cartoon character a "gay threat" isn't already way out there? How dopey can it get? I think they are already way way out there. This sounds like someone has gone off their medication.

I'm so grateful I never have to be inside the brain of one of these goof-balls. Can you imagine watching Sponge Bob and thinking anything sexual at all? EEK!

I say give them rope and let 'em hang themselves. I'll enjoy watching.
posted by trii at 8:19 AM on January 21, 2005

Maybe they should study up on the reproductive process of sponges.

Personally, I think Sponge Bob is probably the asexual type.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:20 AM on January 21, 2005

All these cartoon characters coming out of the closet. Makes you long for the good old days when Mighty Mouse was caught sniffing coke.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:23 AM on January 21, 2005

I'm just waiting patiently for the day when the far-right overreaches and becomes a joke upon itself.

Extremists of all stripes, left and right, make idiots of themselves on a regular minute by minute basis, not sure what you're waiting for, just look around and enjoy.

Ok now, what I want to know is: what's with the pants thing and cartoon characters anyway? You ever notice how Donald Ducks nephews Huey Dewey and Louie had NO pants? Shirts and hats but no pants at all. What's with that?
posted by scheptech at 8:46 AM on January 21, 2005

Oh Crap, I just did some thinking about the characters on SpongeBob...

We haven't even begun to hear about Sandy, the very butch lady squirrel.

Oh wait, she's from Texas, never mind.
posted by mmahaffie at 8:58 AM on January 21, 2005

Neither did Porky Pig! And if Donald was Huey's, Louie's, and Dewey's uncle, who and where were their parents, and why were their children RUNNING AROUND WITH THEIR UNCLE, ALL WITHOUT PANTS?!
posted by fandango_matt at 9:01 AM on January 21, 2005

Can you imagine watching Sponge Bob and thinking anything sexual at all?

yeah, right, like you don't find Sandy attractive...in a Richard Gere sort of way... of course.
posted by Hands of Manos at 9:05 AM on January 21, 2005

I'm just waiting patiently for the day when the far-right overreaches and becomes a joke upon itself.

Extremists of all stripes, left and right, make idiots of themselves on a regular minute by minute basis, not sure what you're waiting for, just look around and enjoy.

When your target audience has no sense of humor (a defining characteristic for extremists of all stripes, IMHO) you can never become a joke upon yourself. That possibility is outside the confines of the very closed system an extremist inhabits.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:07 AM on January 21, 2005

Heavens to Murgatroyd! Exit, stage right!
posted by crunchland at 9:11 AM on January 21, 2005

thanks -- for a spongeworthy commentary.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 9:11 AM on January 21, 2005

I find it interesting that they feel tolerance towards another religion is good, and tolerance towards another sexual preference is bad. Tolerate them, but they won't tolerate others. I guess that's the consequence of thinking you know the Ultimate Truth (tm).
posted by cameleon at 9:13 AM on January 21, 2005

ps: I just saw the tail end of Fet's "WAFF" and thought "huh?" Then I thought "Oh I get it!!! 'We Are Fat Fucks!!'" I was really disappointed that it was a conservative family thing

Shouldn't waff be the opposite of naff?
posted by cytherea at 9:17 AM on January 21, 2005

Maybe it's all a big misunderstanding.

Or perhaps they are practicing Opposite Day.

Squidward: Let me show you guys how much I...HATE YOU!!!
SpongeBob: Patrick, did you ever get the feeling that Squidward likes us too much?
posted by Otis at 9:18 AM on January 21, 2005

Hmm. Okay. We need to coin some new words, because "ludicrous" and "asinine" are terribly inadequate in this case.
posted by Shoeburyness at 9:21 AM on January 21, 2005

i've never quite understood why some groups fear teh ghey to the point where they see it everywhere and expend a great deal of emotional energy on "combatting" it.

i mean, there're all sorts of things in the bible that are described as evil and wrong, but they don't seem to be quite as concerned with those. (and i mean those things that are unambiguously described as wrong in both the ot and in the nt by jesus himself).

what are they so afraid gay people are going to do? replace them, like some humans in the x-men comics fear mutants are going to do?
posted by lord_wolf at 9:22 AM on January 21, 2005

Let us now move to corporate mascots who are gay:
Mr. Peanut
Bob's Big Boy
Little Foster
posted by fandango_matt at 9:31 AM on January 21, 2005

I really do wish that the homosexual agenda was a vast and as powerful as Dobson and similar organizations fear it is. I think the only 'gay agenda' is commonsense and acceptance. But, I guess that must be crushed.
posted by Arch Stanton at 9:35 AM on January 21, 2005

We need to coin some new words, because "ludicrous" and "asinine" are terribly inadequate in this case.

What about absurdicrous?

No, wait. Sounds like a Stan Lee character.
posted by juiceCake at 9:37 AM on January 21, 2005

You know what, Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other people here in the trailer park.

Oh, don't go get me wrong. They're fine people, they're good Americans. But they're content to sit back, maybe watch a little Mork and Mindy on Channel 57, maybe kick back a cool Coors 16-ouncer. They're good, fine people, Stuart. But they don't know what the queers are doing to the soil!

[. . .]

Now, Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large US city with a big undeground homosexual population. Des Moines, Iowa, perfect example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart. You can't build on it; you can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on, Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens. They're building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to God.

/DeadMilkmenFilter
posted by gompa at 9:38 AM on January 21, 2005

What about absurdicrous?

I recall Mr. T using the term "abso-ludicrous" in an anti-drug video from the 1980s--as in, "Taking drugs? That's absoludicrous!"
Now, there was a positive heterosexual role model.
posted by apis mellifera at 9:54 AM on January 21, 2005

The video apis melliferia is referring to is Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool, and it is awesome. Or should I say Aweso-Ludicrous?

No, awesome is correct.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 10:05 AM on January 21, 2005

Dear God:

You may commence with the Rapture any time now. Please.

Love and kisses,
me
posted by deborah at 10:07 AM on January 21, 2005

Word,
I'd take hell on earth and lakes of fire and the eternal war of damnation or whatever it is if we could just clear some of these ding dongs out of here, Heaven is gonna SUCK man.
posted by Divine_Wino at 10:15 AM on January 21, 2005

We need to coin some new words, because "ludicrous" and "asinine" are terribly inadequate in this case.

dobsicrous? dobsinine?

eff-ing stoopit?
posted by mmahaffie at 10:21 AM on January 21, 2005

um,
Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool is the GREATEST MOVIE EVER! you can find copies on ebay now and then, I'd highly recommend it. here are some clips and a synopsis.
posted by rocket_skates at 10:27 AM on January 21, 2005

The bible prohibits buttsex, shellfish, and pork. Learn you heathens.
posted by bardic at 10:30 AM on January 21, 2005

posted by rocket_skates at 10:32 AM on January 21, 2005

We need to coin some new words, because "ludicrous" and "asinine" are terribly inadequate in this case.

dobsicrous? dobsinine?

eff-ing stoopit?

I prefer Fredphelpsian.
posted by rocket_skates at 10:34 AM on January 21, 2005

I knew I was not the only one who remembered Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool, as well as Mr. T's Commandments.
posted by fandango_matt at 10:35 AM on January 21, 2005

Remember the comic book? Mr. T and the T-Force.


posted by rocket_skates at 10:40 AM on January 21, 2005

Thank you, rocket_skates, fandango_matt and Fuzzy Monster. You have improved my day.
posted by apis mellifera at 10:58 AM on January 21, 2005

We need to coin some new words, because "ludicrous" and "asinine" are terribly inadequate in this case.
I think we should just all say "I pity the fools" in our best Mr.T impressions and leave it at that.

the only 'gay agenda' is commonsense and acceptance. But, I guess that must be crushed.
We have a winner!
posted by wendell at 11:12 AM on January 21, 2005

MetaFilter: It's a Crack Baby...Fool!
posted by fandango_matt at 11:15 AM on January 21, 2005

That stupid comics page rocks!
posted by scarabic at 11:28 AM on January 21, 2005

John Wayne was a fag.

[everybody mode=unison] THE HELL HE WAS! [/everybody]
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:32 AM on January 21, 2005

Are you kidding? Everyone knows that John Wayne Was a Nazi.
posted by badger_flammable at 11:52 AM on January 21, 2005

He was, too, you boys. I installed two-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood, and he came to the door in a dress.
posted by fandango_matt at 11:55 AM on January 21, 2005

Like this naked picture of the Hoff, fandango_matt?

C'mon he's a heart-throb!!
posted by Gooney at 12:47 PM on January 21, 2005

That don't make him a fag! Plenty of guys wear dresses!
posted by 235w103 at 1:37 PM on January 21, 2005

(please see my comments from yesterday's related thread. sheesh, you'd think these guys like Dobson had something better to do. witness to some whores, help the poor, toss money-changers out of the temple, just something WWJD)
posted by ilsa at 1:44 PM on January 21, 2005

Like this naked picture of the Hoff, fandango_matt?

I was... powerless to not click the link. Now I feel shame, nausea, and teh dirty.

But not gay.
posted by Specklet at 1:49 PM on January 21, 2005

But you are a chicklet. Ergo, feeling shame, nausea, and teh dirty from Der Hasselhoff is not gay for you. It's just pure, clean 95-octane straight-osity that's rumbling in your loins.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:50 PM on January 21, 2005

In fact, it was just such a evangelistic group that nailed Jesus to the cross.

Actually, it was political since the Romans and their Hebrew stooges were concerned He would lead an insurrection, but whatever.
posted by Doohickie at 4:21 PM on January 21, 2005

church+state=guys on crosses
posted by rocket_skates at 4:44 PM on January 21, 2005

SpongeBob Squarepants "is being exploited to promote the acceptance of homosexuality."

Well, duh!
posted by zardoz at 7:36 PM on January 21, 2005

james dobson frightens me. no, really.

his "compound" is in colorado springs, an hour or two away from me.

and spongebob gay? no, not even. it's a clever, funny kids show that doesn't treat kids like blithering idiots. and that's refreshing.
posted by littlegirlblue at 8:54 PM on January 21, 2005

his "compound" is in colorado springs, an hour or two away from me.

Likely, this is unforgivably closed-minded of me, but I don't really trust anyone who lives in a "compound".
posted by psmealey at 11:27 AM on January 23, 2005

Erect frog on Dobson kiddie site
posted by amberglow at 2:37 PM on January 23, 2005

Naturally, the star denies the allegations.
posted by codger at 11:16 AM on January 24, 2005

Homophobes, Christian ones especially, make me WISH I was gay just to piss them off. As if people ran around telling them they suck for only doing missionary style!

Sponge bob is cute, but Bugs Bunny in drag? I'd hit it.
posted by snsranch at 7:53 PM on January 24, 2005

Yabba-dabba-do, here we go again ...

Flintstones Are ‘Way Too Gay’
"Fred and Barney should be banned because they are virtually inseparable, are never seen wearing pants and live together in the suggestively-named town of Bedrock, complains a conservative activist" [Newsweek | February 8, 2005]
posted by ericb at 7:26 PM on February 8, 2005