Lois Lane is a Drama Queen

February 8, 2005 9:52 AM

Superman is a Dick. The worst comic book covers.
posted by five fresh fish (37 comments total)

Sorta kinda a Double post, but it's nice to see that Superman's dickery has its own home now!
posted by falconred at 10:09 AM on February 8, 2005

I haven't really read any (mainstream, anyway) comic books for years, so I ask those of you who have; are Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen still part of the DC universe? Or did they get killed during Crisis or something like that? I can't imagine they'd still have a place in these irony-rich times.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:10 AM on February 8, 2005

Yeah, this is double, but it's worth the reminder that Supes is a major cock.
posted by neckro23 at 10:15 AM on February 8, 2005

Oh God, you said "Drama Queen" in the title tag. I feel a MeFi rumble coming on.
posted by ChrisTN at 10:19 AM on February 8, 2005

I have no words
posted by Pretty_Generic at 10:33 AM on February 8, 2005

Whattadick.
posted by unsupervised at 11:06 AM on February 8, 2005

Indeed, great to see it has its own site now. Extra-special Lois Lane as a slave girl is a great work of modern writing.
posted by ontic at 11:07 AM on February 8, 2005

I've got a 14-carat solution.
posted by interrupt at 11:14 AM on February 8, 2005

I hear that unsupervised.
posted by vagus at 11:14 AM on February 8, 2005

What a total asshead!

Are we still piling on Superman?
posted by horsewithnoname at 11:31 AM on February 8, 2005

The sheer quantity of ridiculousness here is impressive.
posted by ITheCosmos at 11:34 AM on February 8, 2005

This is bizarre on so many levels. For those of you who missed the 60s pop culture reference in the title, compare. Why, oh why?
posted by mr_roboto at 11:39 AM on February 8, 2005

erp.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 12:15 PM on February 8, 2005

But Lois is a drama queen.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:38 PM on February 8, 2005

More on the black Lois Lane
posted by jheiz at 12:38 PM on February 8, 2005

This is the best thing ever. Although after a quick skim of the covers, I see a distinct lack of Jimmy Olsen's adventures in crossdressing... I'm quite impressed he never married Superman - everyone else in a dress seems to have tied the knot at least once.
posted by terpsichoria at 12:57 PM on February 8, 2005

Writing for Comics:
1. Pick some main character.
2. Transform their body into some other kind of body, like maybe a crazy spider-goat.
3. Profit, I guess.
posted by sonofsamiam at 1:14 PM on February 8, 2005

So, so awesome. So awesome. I am speachless.
posted by Quartermass at 1:17 PM on February 8, 2005

Man. I'd seen some of those before, but never all in the same place. Thanks for posting this.
posted by COBRA! at 1:23 PM on February 8, 2005

Lois Lane, bride of Satan.
posted by COBRA! at 1:44 PM on February 8, 2005

This is awesome.
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 2:17 PM on February 8, 2005

posted by Pretty_Generic at 2:27 PM on February 8, 2005

Oops. This.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 2:31 PM on February 8, 2005

Uhm, not that it's gonna matter cuz people who wanna use this to malign a comic icon of American pop culture are gonna do that no matter what, but in every single case, the covers were designed specifically to encourage people to buy the comic. Then when you read the actual story, it would simulate the elements of the cover, but explain why Superman was acting like a dick, usually in order to prevent some other disaster he'd have to be a dick to his friends but then he'd explain it to them later and they'd have a good laugh.

It was a fuckin' comic book. Sheesh.
posted by ZachsMind at 3:16 PM on February 8, 2005

It's a joke. Sheesh.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 3:38 PM on February 8, 2005

What I find particularly funny is the seriousness of the guy's critique. After all, when did Chimpanzees ride in Leopard packs? What a ridiculous idea!
posted by Dr_Johnson at 3:39 PM on February 8, 2005

Apparently, Batman enjoyes stalking little boys...
posted by WC_Helmets at 4:14 PM on February 8, 2005

It was a fuckin' comic book. Sheesh.

I'm just brimming over with sputtering indignation!
posted by horsewithnoname at 4:16 PM on February 8, 2005

The most hilarious part about the "Bride of Satan" cover is Superman saying "And look whom she's marrying." Always a stickler for pronouns of the objective case, that Man of Steel.
posted by kindall at 4:25 PM on February 8, 2005

Some of these seem so ironic and out there that they look like photoshop jobs.
posted by fire&wings at 4:50 PM on February 8, 2005

I have two - no, three - observations:

1. You can't link directly to the .jpg's, so stop trying. All you get is a YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO VIEW THIS PAGE, unless you've browsed the site yourself and the particular .jpg is in your cache.

2. After you've been browsing through the site for a while, your drop-down "back" button looks really funny:

Superman is a dick.
Superman is a dick.
Superman is a dick.
Superman is a dick.
Superman is a dick.
Superman is a dick.
etc.

3. Wow, Superman really is a dick.
posted by yhbc at 6:31 PM on February 8, 2005

Is it just me or did they take the site down? When I was halfway through it, even? Dammit.
posted by litlnemo at 8:11 PM on February 8, 2005

You can't link directly to the .jpg's, so stop trying. All you get is a YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO VIEW THIS PAGE

And then you hit Enter and it loads. :)
posted by kindall at 8:46 PM on February 8, 2005

Now it's broken. I will never find out how much of a dick Superman is.
posted by Harry at 3:08 AM on February 9, 2005

The page is gone.
posted by grouse at 3:20 AM on February 9, 2005

OMG. I killed Superman!

(This place is becoming as bad a SlashDot for destroying sites...)
posted by five fresh fish at 10:57 AM on February 9, 2005

Well, since the site's been mefi'd, you can find a lot of these covers over at my buddy Scott Shaw!'s Oddball Comics site on Comic Book Resources, which should be able to handle the bandwidth. (Yes, his name is actually spelled with an exclamation point, for extra-awesomeness.)

He's been showing these in slide shows at comic conventions for many years, along with a whole lot of other very very weird stuff. If you ever get a chance to see him do one of these shows, you ought to - his personal observations are pants-wettin' funny. :)

And for some reason, it's all about purple gorillas... God bless Julius Schwartz, RIP.
posted by zoogleplex at 11:27 AM on February 9, 2005