i have nothing clever to put here

February 23, 2005 11:23 AM

It took nearly four months, but to the relief of neighbors miles around, the 2,000 ton burning manure pile in Nebraska has been extinguished.
posted by tsarfan (34 comments total)

How will they get rid of the massive burnt paper bag on their doorstep?
posted by phirleh at 11:26 AM on February 23, 2005

Hot Shit!
posted by banished at 11:27 AM on February 23, 2005

I swear to God, after reading Dooce.com, the Iraq post earlier about the ambush, and now this... Is it national Poop Day and nobody told me?? (as I speak the baby has pooped his pants, no lie!)

It's all about the poop, isn't it?
posted by laurenbove at 11:35 AM on February 23, 2005

w00t! So Powerline is now off line? Oh...

Seriously, I read about this when the fire was still burning and it was scary to fathom the amount of crap they tossed on it initially, attempting to put it out. The farmer in question seemed like a nice enough guy. Good news for him and his neighbors.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:36 AM on February 23, 2005

it was scary to fathom the amount of crap they tossed on it initially, attempting to put it out.

Problem: Large burning pile of crap.

Solution: Put more crap onto pile.

Brilliant, in a "wow, now the flaming pile of crap is even bigger" sort of way.
posted by eriko at 11:40 AM on February 23, 2005

Sort of like MetaTalk, isn't it?
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:44 AM on February 23, 2005

Problem: Large burning pile of crap.
Solution: Put more crap onto pile.

Sort of the principle MetaTalk runs on.
posted by Wolfdog at 11:44 AM on February 23, 2005

Scroll down a bit for case reports.
posted by mcgraw at 11:47 AM on February 23, 2005

I have never, ever been more proud of having been born in Nebraska. Suck it, Oklahoma!
posted by COBRA! at 11:48 AM on February 23, 2005

Problem: Large burning pile of crap.
Solution: Put more crap onto pile.
Na, just add the piss to the crap.
posted by thomcatspike at 11:52 AM on February 23, 2005

It is criminal - absolutely criminal, I say! - to have a topic as fraught with significance and resonance as this... and to use as your page Title, "i have nothing clever to put here."

Shameful.
posted by soyjoy at 12:07 PM on February 23, 2005

I believe soyjoy is right about this, tsarfan.

I nominate "Burning Doo Silenced" as a possible post title.
posted by mcgraw at 12:11 PM on February 23, 2005

Aww, man. I wish I'd known about this earlier. I could have taken some pictures. Although, I guess all the crap's still there, it's just distributed around more. Hmm.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 12:19 PM on February 23, 2005

This sounds like something from The Simpsons.
posted by R. Mutt at 12:41 PM on February 23, 2005

Tonight, we salute the silver anniversary of the Great Springfield Tire Yard Fire. Twenty-five years, and still burning strong!
posted by kableh at 12:49 PM on February 23, 2005

kableh, that was also my first thought!
posted by salmacis at 1:07 PM on February 23, 2005

doesn't it occur to anyone that maybe methane fired generators would be a good idea?

I mean, if the shite catches fire of its own bloody accord....
posted by jrochest at 1:32 PM on February 23, 2005

Great.
Now what am I gonna do with these 20,000 bumperstickers I had printed that say:
"SHIT FIRES HAPPEN" ?
posted by spock at 2:09 PM on February 23, 2005

doesn't it occur to anyone that maybe methane fired generators would be a good idea?

No. You are the first person on the planet to think of it. (or not).
posted by spock at 2:19 PM on February 23, 2005

Hang on. You mean that for the past 4 months Nebraska has smelled worse than it usually does? Shit.
posted by i_cola at 2:34 PM on February 23, 2005

</low_hanging_fruit>
posted by spock at 2:47 PM on February 23, 2005

No shit!
posted by ramix at 3:14 PM on February 23, 2005

i think he set the shit on fire himself, in an attempt to get rid of the shit... and then he thought.. quick put more shit on the burning shit... so it looks like we are trying to put the shit out, but really we are just trying to burn more shit.

what else would you do with all the shit?
posted by nearo at 3:21 PM on February 23, 2005

what else would you do with all the shit?

Eat it.
posted by underer at 3:50 PM on February 23, 2005

It is criminal - absolutely criminal, I say! - to have a topic as fraught with significance and resonance as this... and to use as your page Title, "i have nothing clever to put here."

Snap, Crackle, Poop
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:57 PM on February 23, 2005

Thank goodness that the fire is out. If I were them, I would spread it out evenly over the entire nebraska, plant seeds, and start a national forrest to get tourism.
posted by andrewmlin at 3:58 PM on February 23, 2005

How is it possible that heat from its decomposition would ignite the dung pile? Wouldn't the microbes that drive the decomposition be killed by the heat they produce themselves at a certain point, resulting in a temperature equilibrium? Or is the decomposition an exothermic, strictly chemical process?
posted by randomstriker at 4:25 PM on February 23, 2005

It is criminal - absolutely criminal, I say! - to have a topic as fraught with significance and resonance as this... and to use as your page Title, "i have nothing clever to put here."

"Feces Conflagration Finally Contained"

/use important newscaster voice
posted by killy willy at 4:54 PM on February 23, 2005

If I were them, I would . . . plant seeds, and start a national forrest to get tourism.

Did you know that's exactly what they did 103 years ago?
posted by spock at 6:11 PM on February 23, 2005

I'm sorry, killy willy, but Secret Life of Gravy has definitely won this one.
posted by soyjoy at 9:32 PM on February 23, 2005

How is it possible that heat from its decomposition would ignite the dung pile?

This happens very easily if you have the wrong (right)mixture and conditions. Baled hay will generate enough heat to burn if it's damp when it's stored, so will piles of woodchips, shavings or grass clippings.

I've never seen a manure pile catch fire, although they do typically get very hot so I think this guy is right about the grass clippings being part of the problem. Or maybe you just need a really big pile of shit to generate enough heat to set it alight.
posted by fshgrl at 3:31 AM on February 24, 2005

Fires at Composting Facilites: Causes and Conditions
posted by spock at 8:51 AM on February 24, 2005

If I were them, I would spread it out evenly over the entire nebraska, plant seeds, and start a national forrest to get tourism.

That was actually sort of tried in Western Nebraska. I believe the planted forest is now just being allowed to die off.
posted by COBRA! at 9:10 AM on February 24, 2005

incorrect
posted by spock at 8:25 PM on February 24, 2005