life gives you lemons, make pruno julips.

February 24, 2005 9:26 AM

...our Martha, always formidable, always moving forward. I'm glad I didn't have to go to prison to learn what "Wall Dog" is.
posted by bendybendy (24 comments total)

I buy her magazine every month and I have to tell you...that letter cracked me up. I have to wonder if there wasn't really an element of tounge in cheek happening there.
posted by amandaudoff at 9:36 AM on February 24, 2005

I kept looking at the URL trying to figure out if it was a joke or something as it didn't seem real. very odd letter.
posted by shoepal at 9:59 AM on February 24, 2005

Odd...Site attempted to register a cookie for marthastewaart.com?
posted by Bugbread at 10:04 AM on February 24, 2005

Prisoners in max security prisons often do handstand pushups to keep in shape in close quarters. Wonder if the "wall dog" is a variation on that.
posted by fungible at 10:08 AM on February 24, 2005

The tales were always surprising: foraging for wild greens, such as dandelion, on the prison property to augment the limited fresh vegetable offerings in the diet there;

Muah?????!??
posted by delmoi at 10:08 AM on February 24, 2005

delmoi, you beat me to it.

mandaudoff, was it in the magazine too? If this is real... well, that's just precious!
posted by Specklet at 10:16 AM on February 24, 2005

It's in the dead tree edition, yes.
posted by bendybendy at 10:24 AM on February 24, 2005

My grandmother would have us pick dandelion greens early in the spring to add to the salad. You have to do it early though, as they get bitter late in the spring.
posted by jmgorman at 10:26 AM on February 24, 2005

mmmmm...dandelion. mmmmmmm.....my MSO stock tripling since her sentencing.
posted by spicynuts at 10:30 AM on February 24, 2005

That was hysterical - especially the part about "choosing to serve her sentence." That was nice of her! I wonder what her release will do to the good people at Free Martha now that their purpose has been achieved?
posted by mygothlaundry at 10:32 AM on February 24, 2005

God, that's hilarious. The foraging for greens thing just kills me!

fungible, Downward-Facing Dog is a precursor to Downward Facing Tree pose, and since she purportedly went into a handstand after her wall dog, I'm betting it wasn't a variation on the handstand pushups. Looks like our Martha knows her yoga!
posted by Specklet at 10:33 AM on February 24, 2005

You mean... this really isn't a joke?
posted by Space Kitty at 10:35 AM on February 24, 2005

When Martha announced last fall her decision to serve her sentence

holy smokes, bendy. that's the waspiest thing i've ever heard.
posted by 3.2.3 at 10:43 AM on February 24, 2005

and she's only wasp by marriage.
posted by bendybendy at 10:53 AM on February 24, 2005

I was wondering that if Martha had an imprisoned male counterpart, well, a Wall Dog might not be the best idea.
posted by Danf at 11:45 AM on February 24, 2005

She did decide to serve her sentence right away, rather than waiting for her appeal to be resolved as she had the right to do. And she's a working girl made good, not a wasp.

And prison rape jokes aren't funny, Danf.
posted by insideout at 12:04 PM on February 24, 2005

Oh, lighten up, insideout.
posted by Specklet at 12:14 PM on February 24, 2005

Prison rape. It just doesn't seem funny to me, somehow.
posted by insideout at 12:26 PM on February 24, 2005

Yeah, prison rape isn't funny. Can we please not have rape jokes here?
posted by mr_roboto at 12:48 PM on February 24, 2005

To the gulag with you, Danf!
posted by mek at 12:59 PM on February 24, 2005

No rape jokes, but that letter was damn funny. Good find bendy.
posted by rooftop secrets at 1:04 PM on February 24, 2005

While I don't care for Martha Stewart, she's now served far more time than any of the Enron scumbags have for their stock manipulations and other crimes. Says a lot about the judical system and protection afforded the true white colar criminals in the US.
posted by inthe80s at 1:16 PM on February 24, 2005

I hear y'all and I offer my simple yet sincere apology for a quick, thoughtless post.
posted by Danf at 3:57 PM on February 24, 2005

While I don't care for Martha Stewart, she's now served far more time than any of the Enron scumbags have for their stock manipulations and other crimes.

This isn't true. Lea Fastow has been in jail since July 2004; she's serving a 1 year sentence. Though Andrew Fastow hasn't begun serving his sentence yet, he's agreed to 10 years, and there's no reason to think he won't serve it (e.g. it's a finalized plea agreement, he's been found guilty, and there's absolutely no room for appeal). Skilling and Lay will be tried, and if they are found guilty, they will likely spend the rest of their lives in prison. The case against them is significantly more complex than the Stewart case, so it's not surprising that it's taking so long. The Department of Justice has pursued them vigorously, however.

Says a lot about the judicial system....

It says that it moves slowly. But we knew that already.

Interestingly, when I was searching Google using the term "Fastow enron", this was the first hit. It's a 1999 article from CFO magazine, which discusses Fastow's "remarkably innovative financing" mechanisms and his "looming legacy" at Enron. Life is strange.
posted by mr_roboto at 6:56 PM on February 24, 2005