Matchmaker, matchmaker ... make me a politically-aligned match ...

February 26, 2005 10:19 AM

Meet Mark. I am a 49 year old truck driver. Divorced, one daughter, 18, looking for a LADY, 45 to 55 years old, no tatoos, no body piercings except ears, but most importantly NOT LIBERAL (lady and not liberal kind of go hand in hand, don't they?).
Mark is just one of the many available lovebirds waiting for you at Hannidate -- Sean Hannity's very own Internet personals.
posted by grabbingsand (87 comments total)

So if I go on one of these Hannidates, do I take my beau to a Hanniball for dinner and dancing?
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:22 AM on February 26, 2005

Jerry (the very next personal is even better)

I'm A conservative republican White male 52 years of age . Gainfully employed Despite the fact that I live in the Liberal strong hold in the Pacific North West in the State of Oregon. I voted for my President GWB. I was born and raised south west of Buffalo N Y In Hamburg. I drive an SUV. I'm A Christian and believe in the creator I am in sound mind and body and would love to find a woman that has a like mind and same out look of life. I believe that Sean Hannity is a great American and Allen Colmbs needs a brain transplant.
posted by gagglezoomer at 10:25 AM on February 26, 2005

Bad news when people start intentionally segregating themselves socially based on political bias, but it's inevitable fallout of believing Hannity, Coulter, Limbaugh, whose stock-in-trade is creating worthless straw-men opponents.
posted by weston at 10:28 AM on February 26, 2005

LOOK AT THEM, THEY"RE DIFFERENT THAN US. LOLOLOL!!11!one
posted by keswick at 10:35 AM on February 26, 2005

Lest we forget, Sean Hannity won 'sexiest newsanchor' in 2004 by Playgirl Magazine. (link is probably safe for work and does not go to playgirl)

I could've sworn that on many Liberal blogs, they had ads for Liberal Personals. It goes both ways.
posted by Arch Stanton at 10:38 AM on February 26, 2005

It looks like most of them protected the sanctity of marriage by divorcing.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 10:38 AM on February 26, 2005

They say most personals service founders were inspired by their own loneliness.

This knowledge warms my heart.
posted by NickDouglas at 10:39 AM on February 26, 2005

Don't you deserve the perfect match? At Me-Harmony, we guarantee you someone who is exactly like you - but with different sexual organs.
posted by airguitar at 10:39 AM on February 26, 2005

Who wants to date a stepford wife?
posted by Hands of Manos at 10:46 AM on February 26, 2005

Bad news when people start intentionally segregating themselves socially based on political bias, but it's inevitable fallout of believing Hannity, Coulter, Limbaugh, whose stock-in-trade is creating worthless straw-men opponents.

It's an inevitable fallout of politics, period. Some people take politics very seriously, to the point of not wanting to asssociate with people outside their affinity group. I've seen it all across the political spectrum. I've seen it based on fashion sense, musical taste, sexuality, race, religion, taste in automobiles etc. We're all guilty of it to some degree.

It's a good thing to some degree in that it's nice to meet like-minded people, but if you only meet like minded people, it starts to warp your mind after awhile. I believe it augurs for the continued balkanization of America.
posted by jonmc at 10:47 AM on February 26, 2005

Bad news when people start intentionally segregating themselves socially based on political bias.

With any luck, whatever offspring arises from this kind of coupling will end up as Abbie Hoffmann.
posted by psmealey at 10:48 AM on February 26, 2005

as liberal as Abbie Hoffmann, I meant.
posted by psmealey at 10:49 AM on February 26, 2005

on a related note, popular service EHarmony is actually a Christian dating service, but they don't mention that on TV.

I can't imaging what kind of people would think a rightwing TV blowhard would get them dates, but then think of Rush Limbaugh and Daryn Kagan of CNN.
posted by amberglow at 10:49 AM on February 26, 2005

"I believe that there is nothing that can be said that Billy Joel hasn’t put in a song." Oh my.
posted by donovan at 10:50 AM on February 26, 2005

Interesting that they put their actual email address in there for all to see. Match.com and eHarmony don't do that, do they? Not that I'm suggesting anything here, but that introduces the potential for all kinds of practical jokes at these folks' expense.
posted by psmealey at 10:56 AM on February 26, 2005

Bad news when people start intentionally segregating themselves socially based on political bias, but it's inevitable fallout of believing Hannity, Coulter, Limbaugh, whose stock-in-trade is creating worthless straw-men opponents.

Lest we all get higher than thou on this, in the couple years I spent meeting women on Nerve I came across many an ad that specifically stated "NO REPUBLICANS". If I had a nickel for every ad like that I'd be rich now, and probably a Republican. I'm just sayin, the right has no monopoly on this kind of thing.
posted by spicynuts at 10:58 AM on February 26, 2005

I've seen an unintentionally hilarious banner ad for this site of this woman laughing and saying, "Relax, mom - I've already found a nice conservative guy!"

I dunno. Just something about that ad. It really makes you wonder what the mom had just said prior to her bursting out in guffaws.

OTOH, what spicynuts said. I know many girls who'd rather puke nails than date a Bush-voter, and it's not a shock to learn the door swings the other way.
posted by Sticherbeast at 11:01 AM on February 26, 2005

I will admit it, I don't want to date a true conservative. It would be nothing but arguments. I just don't use a dating service, finding them all a bit weird. I would rather bump into people at my like-minded events.

This dating things works both ways. Dating services for like religions, like styles, etc. is nothing new. Dems and Reps both have bubbas.

Please move along...
posted by fluffycreature at 11:01 AM on February 26, 2005

That's right, spicynuts. It's not the Republicanness of these people (or the liberalness of their left wing counterparts) that bothers me. I'll happily shoot the breeze with a Republican over beers if their good people.

It's people who want to remain in a hermetically sealed litlle colony of conservatives/liberals/whites/blacks/gays/straights/punks/deadheads/vegetarians/whatevers that drive me batshit.
posted by jonmc at 11:04 AM on February 26, 2005

such diversity! there are blondes AND brunettes!
posted by whatnot at 11:18 AM on February 26, 2005

Hmm, not much call for this vixen amongst the Hannity crowd, seemingly.
posted by AlexReynolds at 11:25 AM on February 26, 2005

well. why would anyone want to date a registration form, alex? They're notrioulsy bad conversationalists and they insist on knowing your name before they give it up.
posted by jonmc at 11:27 AM on February 26, 2005

I Wonder how this guy earned his email address. Suppose he has a bit of a glint in the eye.
posted by fire&wings at 11:28 AM on February 26, 2005

EHarmony is actually a Christian dating service, but they don't mention that on TV.

Um. I don't know that that's true.

It's obviously not a ``normal' dating service -- the ads go on all the time about finding your true love and getting married and finding ``soulmates' other things that imply GIANT COMMITMENT IS WHAT I WANT.

Having just taken part of their test, it doesn't look like some sort of SeKRiT FUnDiE thing. The dude who runs it happens to be a well-known evangelical, so they also run separate advertising to that market using the right buzzwords for that market, because they can do so effectively and they're not complete morons. It doesn't seem like they make you sign a doctrinal statement or force you to pray before they'll do principal-components on your questionnaire and match you with someone with similar factors.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:48 AM on February 26, 2005

What I'm looking for is a man who is as emotionally and financially secure as I am. Someone whose eyes will light up when he sees me. Funny, thoughtful, kind, yet not wimpy

Authoritarian father....check
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 11:52 AM on February 26, 2005

Everyone deserves a shot at true love, conservatives or objectivists alike.
posted by torregrassa at 12:02 PM on February 26, 2005

No thanks. If I had to hump an objectivist, I'd dig up Rand's grave before all else.
posted by AlexReynolds at 12:06 PM on February 26, 2005

I'm waiting for Noam Chomsky and Alexander Cockburn to set up a 'personals' website. 'SF iso of M or F interested in socialist revolution, WTO protests, and making white people feel guilty on Thanksgiving Day.' Sigh. If only.
posted by Clay201 at 12:23 PM on February 26, 2005

What exactly is Hannity style romance?
posted by casu marzu at 12:39 PM on February 26, 2005

What exactly is Hannity style romance?

"STFU and go make me a turkey pot pie, woman."
posted by AlexReynolds at 12:40 PM on February 26, 2005

A conservative U.S. Army veteran, living on the left coast. I like walks on the beach, Ann Coulter and standing up to outspoken liberal "experts" who claim to know what's going on in Iraq. I love my country, my president, my family and my dog, Fonzie. I'd go back to Iraq in a second but I've suffered a shoulder injury that won't allow me to play G.I Joe anymore. I'm looking for a strong minded conservative woman to take to dinner in a San Francisco restaurant. One who's smart enough to wait until we are served before delighting in the discussion of liberals, their flaws and their feeble attempts to hide them. I'd like to hold out for Ann, but I'm a realist. Though, I could see the two of us having the most delightful conversation: one simple, passionate conservative; one sophisticated, radical conservative...Man, I'd love to have dinner with Ann Coulter! If she's not available, I'd be happy to meet someone who identifies with her political id.

Oh, sign me up!
posted by jokeefe at 12:52 PM on February 26, 2005

He's a drugstore truck drivin' man
He's the head of the Klu Klux Klan...
posted by fixedgear at 1:01 PM on February 26, 2005

"STFU and go make me a turkey pot pie, woman."

Funniest thing i've read all morning...
posted by rooftop secrets at 1:09 PM on February 26, 2005

"STFU and go make me a turkey pot pie, woman."

Well, I, for one, am shocked and indignant.

Everyone knows the beef pot pies are far tastier.
posted by jonmc at 1:11 PM on February 26, 2005

I must confess that I don't date Christians or Republicans. It's just not my scene. I don't see myself getting intimate with someone who truly believes in the existence of God The Father, or that George Bush is a good president/human. This makes me a little too much like these Hannity people for my own comfort.
posted by apis mellifera at 1:16 PM on February 26, 2005

well, apis mellifera, the feeling is mutual:

I am looking for a women that like the same interest that I share. I am tired of looking in wrong places and finding whiny liberals snooty B^&%H. So Please Mr. Hannity find me a women.
posted by casu marzu at 1:26 PM on February 26, 2005

This makes me a little too much like these Hannity people for my own comfort.

I'd probably never use a dating service to begin with (except perhaps to see what I'd attract) because it seems like putting yourself up on the auction block like a racehorse or something. And I'd certainly never qualify it by politics or religion. I actually enjoy talking with people whose views, experience and worldview are utterly alien to my own; firstly because I'm always interested in how people acquire their veiwpoints and secondly because it makes me re-examine my own.
posted by jonmc at 1:30 PM on February 26, 2005

I've just come up with the perfect business: Date-A-Moderate. Quick, get me a VC on the phone, this things gonna be bigger than Google!
posted by SteveInMaine at 1:36 PM on February 26, 2005

Dear MetaFilter -

I love you so much, it hurts.

X's and O's,

intermod
posted by intermod at 1:44 PM on February 26, 2005

apis mellifera, once you go republican, you'll never go back. Let's just say there is a reason our mascot is an elephant. wink:wink.

Um...unless, like, you're a dude.
posted by sexymofo at 1:58 PM on February 26, 2005

What is it with wingnuts and their affinity for tacky clothes and bad hairstyles? Are they too busy worrying about homosexuality and the liberal media to dress themselves properly? Or do conservative chicks dig this look?
posted by TBoneMcCool at 2:07 PM on February 26, 2005

I drive an SUV.

Did it come with a free Saudi Arabian flag to fly from the antenna?
posted by Zurishaddai at 2:17 PM on February 26, 2005

apis mellifera ,
So if you met a guy who was attractive, intelligent, interesting, funny, etc, but in conversation it came up that he's a Christian, you'd reject him out of hand?
posted by Sangermaine at 2:34 PM on February 26, 2005

A lot of people tend to lose their sense of humor when you start talking about religion. And for me, tend to lose their attractiveness/intelligence too. Unfair, I know, but let's just call it faith-based profiling. An exercise in efficiency.

In response to jonmc, I also enjoy talking with people with utterly different viewpoints for the same reason. But not to date. I find there are usually enough problems in relationships and it is not necessary to add on politics/religion clashes. And these differences are often indicative of more basic difference between people anyway, and these differences usually don't make for a very good fit.

OK, now all you sane religious and/or conservative types can feel free to bash me.
posted by rooftop secrets at 3:02 PM on February 26, 2005

In response to jonmc, I also enjoy talking with people with utterly different viewpoints for the same reason.

Of course, it does help if those people with the utterly alien veiws happen to be personable and good-humored, too.
posted by jonmc at 3:07 PM on February 26, 2005

No, Sangermaine. I suppose I wouldn't reject him out of hand, but I'd expect it to cause some problems for us if we became involved. I know there's more than one kind of Christian, and I respect Christians in general, but there's a lot about the Christian worldview that I disagree with. I don't believe in heaven, hell or sin. I'm pro-choice and pro-gay.

Christians and Republicans seem to have a fundamentally different view of human nature than I do. I imagine this would cause relationship tension.

I don't know if it's the circles I travel in or the vibes I give off or what, but I always seem to find myself with Buddhist/atheist/vegetarian/pinko guys.

I met a really cool guy on an airplane a few years ago. We hit it off, exchanged email addresses. His emails often included funny little NRA slogans. I thought he was just trying to be deeply ironic. The more I got to know him, the more I realized that he was actually quite conservative. He was surprised that I found his politics and faith to be a barrier to us getting together, and for my part, I was surprised that it wasn't more of a problem for him. We're still friends, though the invasion of Iraq put us on pretty bad terms.
posted by apis mellifera at 3:13 PM on February 26, 2005

He was surprised that I found his politics and faith to be a barrier to us getting together, and for my part, I was surprised that it wasn't more of a problem for him.

Wouldn't that kind of up your opinion of him, that he still considers you a cool person that he still wants to be freinds despite ideological differences?
posted by jonmc at 3:27 PM on February 26, 2005

I'm pro-choice and pro-gay.

So are many Christians. They aren't all Phelps & Fallwell.
posted by jonmc at 3:28 PM on February 26, 2005

there's a lot about the Christian worldview that I disagree with. I don't believe in heaven, hell or sin. I'm pro-choice and pro-gay.

While I'm pretty sure that most Christians adhere to the heaven and hell business, there are many who are pro-choice and pro-gay. Many Episcopalians, for instance.
posted by casu marzu at 3:30 PM on February 26, 2005

*shrug* I don't know what else the OP was expecting. You may as well go to Nintendojo and puzzle over all the Sony-bashing.
posted by Target Practice at 3:32 PM on February 26, 2005

Does finding a woman with "Republican/Conservative values & Morals" mean that even though she's wearing a cute and revealing blouse, you know you're not gonna get laid?
posted by kgasmart at 3:32 PM on February 26, 2005

Hmmm.... Manson Family values.
posted by kgasmart at 3:36 PM on February 26, 2005

"well, i thought i had found the love of my life through hannidate ... for the first few years, everything was great ... she kept my house clean, had two beautiful daughters and attended the local republican meetings with me ... then, strange things began to happen ... first there were the oprah book club selections ... then i found out that she'd been reading the new york times on the web ... all she would say was that she was just keeping an open mind ... one day the ups guy showed up with a package from amazon ... i'd stayed home from work sick and she acted so nervous i knew something was up ... she went right into our bedroom and shut the door ... later, when she was out shopping i got snoopy and looked under her bed ... there were michael moore videos!! ... noam chompsky books!! ... and two years worth of mother jones' magazine ... my wife had become a LIBERAL

"she took me for everything i had and is now living in a vegan lesbian commune where they practice wicca and make anti-war bumper stickers

"sean ... SEAN!! ... how could have this happened?"
posted by pyramid termite at 3:41 PM on February 26, 2005

apis mellifera, the reason I asked is because what you and rooftop secrets are saying seems to me, and I'm really not trying to be offensive, unreasonably biased. The vast, vast majority of Christians I know (I'm Jewish) are not frothing-at-the-mouth, gay-and-science-hating fundamentalists. It is very possible to be religious and not care what your lover is (my parents, for example, are Catholic and Jewish). I mean, what does believing in Heaven or Hell or sin have to do with anything? Unless they are part of that extremely tiny funamentalist minority, when will these things ever come up?

A lot of people tend to lose their sense of humor when you start talking about religion. And for me, tend to lose their attractiveness/intelligence too. Unfair, I know, but let's just call it faith-based profiling. An exercise in efficiency.
In response to jonmc, I also enjoy talking with people with utterly different viewpoints for the same reason. But not to date. I find there are usually enough problems in relationships and it is not necessary to add on politics/religion clashes. And these differences are often indicative of more basic difference between people anyway, and these differences usually don't make for a very good fit.
Interesting. Let's alter this a bit:
A lot of people tend to lose their sense of humor when you start talking about race. And for me, tend to lose their attractiveness/intelligence too. Unfair, I know, but let's just call it race-based profiling. An exercise in efficiency.
In response to jonmc, I also enjoy talking with black people with utterly different viewpoints for the same reason. But not to date. I find there are usually enough problems in relationships and it is not necessary to add on racial clashes. And these differences are often indicative of more basic difference between people anyway, and these differences usually don't make for a very good fit.

Okay, now I can see why making blanket generalizations about a group is helpful.
posted by Sangermaine at 4:36 PM on February 26, 2005

well, sangermaine, not to sabotage my own argument, but being conservative is a choice (although many conservatives have reasons and experiences, legitamite or not, which made them what they are) and being black isn't.
posted by jonmc at 4:43 PM on February 26, 2005

Right next to Franklin Square where Sean lived

Weird. I was born and raised in Franklin Square. I feel like we have a spiritual connection now.
posted by milnak at 4:47 PM on February 26, 2005

well, sangermaine, not to sabotage my own argument, but being conservative is a choice (although many conservatives have reasons and experiences, legitamite or not, which made them what they are) and being black isn't.
You're absolutely right, jonmc, but I still think it holds. While, yes, a person does choose to be conservative or religious, I think it is still very unfair to dismiss them because of that. It is perfectly fine to not get along with someone if you deal with them and find them distasteful, but not if you automatically assume they are distasteful without speaking or knowing them just because of a label. In that way, I think it is similar to the racial situation: making a call on someone just based on what they are.
posted by Sangermaine at 4:50 PM on February 26, 2005

While, yes, a person does choose to be conservative or religious, I think it is still very unfair to dismiss them because of that.

I agree with you on that, but to stretch it to the point of a racial comparison is heavy-duty hubris, which is a pet peeve of mine.
posted by jonmc at 4:54 PM on February 26, 2005

Yes, perhaps I did go a bit far. It just irked me.
posted by Sangermaine at 5:01 PM on February 26, 2005

Oh, I understand completely sangermaine. It's one of my most firmly held beliefs that if they could keep their knee-jerk tendencies in their pockets, a true conversation between true conservatives (as opposed to the nutcakes on either side) could yeild some serious fruit for the political future of the US.

(note: I am not saying that either side should try to imitate the other, just that understanding and respecting motivations and histories goes a long way toward seeking consencus and compromise).
posted by jonmc at 5:16 PM on February 26, 2005

While, yes, a person does choose to be conservative or religious, I think it is still very unfair to dismiss them because of that.

I don't.

Religion and politics aren't just "attributes" of a person, like the color of their skin or whether their hair is curly. They're basic ideas that shape a large part of one's personality. While wanting someone who will agree with you on every point is a bit much, on the other hand, dating someone whose fundamental view of the world is vastly different is just going to cause problems.

Not to mention the quarrels over what to teach any resulting children.
posted by Target Practice at 5:23 PM on February 26, 2005

...and of course the men reading this realize this is all bullshit. We'd all sleep with a Randroid or a Communist if we thought she was hot enough.
posted by jonmc at 5:28 PM on February 26, 2005

jonmc ... speak for yourself ... in fact i'd be wary of any woman whose basic outlook on life was political ... or who felt that our current government was good
posted by pyramid termite at 5:36 PM on February 26, 2005

Oh, you probably wouldn't date her, but you'd hit it, if only to play Zapp Brannigan later on if she invoked "evil liberals," so you could say "lie the evil liberal you had sex with...."

god, I know I would.
posted by jonmc at 5:38 PM on February 26, 2005

"like" dammit, not "lie"
posted by jonmc at 5:39 PM on February 26, 2005

..and of course the men reading this realize this is all bullshit. We'd all sleep with a Randroid or a Communist if we thought she was hot enough.

I've done both (well, probably not an actual communist but close enough) and I agree. You're just more careful not to get either pregnant.
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:12 PM on February 26, 2005

Well, mayor, that's cause politics always changes, but plain old carnal lust never does.
posted by jonmc at 6:15 PM on February 26, 2005

In that way, I think it is similar to the racial situation: making a call on someone just based on what they are.

No, see, judging someone on their race or something else equally unrelated to whom the person actually is judging on 'what' they are. Deciding I wouldn't want to date someone based on the fact that they hold religious/political viewpoints contrary/in conflict with mine is judging on 'who' they are, which is perfectly acceptable and expected. Whether someone believes you shouldn't say sorry after you hurt another person or they believe the war in Iraq was justified, I am perfectly justified in discriminating against that person as far as an intimate relationship is concerned based on the incompatibility between our choices and lifestyles.

That is to say nothing, of course, about hitting it. That should be implied. Hah.
posted by rooftop secrets at 7:01 PM on February 26, 2005

OMGDavid I'm the guy in the bookstore sitting in a comfortable reading and drinking a latte'

So that's you leaving those stacks of conservative books there. Please put them back next time.
posted by drezdn at 7:56 PM on February 26, 2005

I wouldn't have cared if my present-day wife had different views on cosmology than mine. If she believed there was a creator -- well, hell, she might. I've never really asked her.

But if you have a religion -- as opposed to your educated guesses or even beliefs -- it really is supposed to matter, isn't it? Saying it doesn't matter, mean nothing, irrelevant -- that's not how people who believe in heaven and hell, judgment and sin feel. I expect they'd be insulted at your attempt to be on their side.
posted by argybarg at 8:19 PM on February 26, 2005

I'm not sure that people who exclusively are looking for politically compatible people are going to have the best dating life.

One of the best couples I know are a Lieutenant in the Airforce who voted for Bush and a hardcore feminist lawyer far to his left. They disagree politically, but they love each other and get along.

For that matter, think of James Carville and Mary Matalin. They disagree, but love each other.

I would absolutely date/romance someone with polar political beliefs to me.
posted by thethirdman at 8:32 PM on February 26, 2005

I really didn't need to go to that site on a full stomach.
posted by ScaryShrink at 8:43 PM on February 26, 2005

I'm not sure that people who exclusively are looking for politically compatible people are going to have the best dating life.

Not to mention, coversation is going to be boring as hell.

He: *gutless platitude*

She: I agree

He: *prechewed opinion*

She: I agree.
posted by jonmc at 8:49 PM on February 26, 2005

jonmc ... this might shock and surprise you, but there are men out there who are perfectly capable of saying "no" if they don't feel something's right ... your comment says more about you than it does me
posted by pyramid termite at 9:12 PM on February 26, 2005

this might shock and surprise you, but there are men out there who are perfectly capable of saying "no" if they don't feel something's right

It's not a matter of "saying no," it's a matter of turning down "yes."

your comment says more about you than it does me

Perhaps. But it's not saying something entirely bad. Just that sex overules politics.
posted by jonmc at 9:23 PM on February 26, 2005

Or do conservative chicks dig this look?

These guys are all single, that says volumes.
posted by Dreama at 10:20 PM on February 26, 2005

jonmc ... this might shock and surprise you, but there are men out there who are perfectly capable of saying "no" if they don't feel something's right

Er...from what I can read, jonmc isn't saying that men don't say "no" if "they don't feel something's right", he's saying that men feel sex don't feel political orientation is "something wrong" if the discussion on the table is purely sex with a really attractive female.

Rephrased: I wouldn't date a really hard-core Bushie either. Be friends with one, sure, but dating would just turn into a perpetual argument. But have sex with a hottie Bushie? Sure. It's not that I can't say "no", it's that I wouldn't want to say no.

Your interpretation of jonmc's comment says more about you than it does jonmc. And my current statement says more about me than it does you.
posted by Bugbread at 10:48 PM on February 26, 2005

And my response to you says more about somebody else, I can't remember who. It's all so confusing.
posted by jonmc at 10:54 PM on February 26, 2005

I have different (and often conflicting) views on marriage than most of my penis-laden peers. Because of this, I wouldn't want to construct said marriage with them.
posted by sian at 11:22 PM on February 26, 2005

I'm pretty sure what I'm typing right now says a whole lot more about Brad Pitt than it does about potato salad, but I'm not sure why.
posted by Bugbread at 11:50 PM on February 26, 2005

from patriotboy: Dear Gary,

I saw your Hannidate listing and I think you are the perfect guy for my sister. She is a true red republican; she likes NASCAR; and she is a smoker.

She's always dreamed about seeing the USA while smoking in a truck with a camper.

She has had high moral values for a week. Before that, she was a prostitute. Last Friday, she found Jesus and put her mistakes behind her.

She's been jobless since she gave up hooking, but she begins her new career as a White House reporter on Monday.
posted by amberglow at 9:25 AM on February 27, 2005

I think its great, what the White House is doing these days for unemployable hookers.
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:19 AM on February 27, 2005

No Hooker Left Behind ; >
posted by amberglow at 11:16 AM on February 27, 2005

From top to bottom, no less.
posted by AlexReynolds at 11:35 AM on February 27, 2005

They're all so....so white...
posted by Baby_Balrog at 12:59 PM on February 27, 2005

For that matter, think of James Carville and Mary Matalin. They disagree, but love each other.

Bullshit! They both believe that power for it's own sake, achieved by any means possible is the highest ideal. They're a couple of whores who sell themselves to the highest bidder.
posted by berek at 3:37 PM on February 27, 2005

I sorta dated a conservative Mormon for awhile. He couldn't deal with gay stuff well, so we split. He's married to a woman now and seems happy. I'm married to a European liberal and estatic. All this teaches us liberals one valuable lesson:

Fuck the damn conservatives, marry a liberal!
posted by Goofyy at 2:48 AM on February 28, 2005