The ultimate in punk-appropriation

March 2, 2005 3:20 AM

Not hip to to new trends? Avril Lavigne's music sounding terrifyingly alien? APM ("Music Solutions for Business™") explains Punk (and other current trends), with helpful original music.
posted by Tlogmer (29 comments total)

to to new trends

Fuck.
Or rather, I don't care / And you don't matter! / Every time you look at me / seeing what you want to be / I don't even think of you / I'm just doing what I do
posted by Tlogmer at 3:42 AM on March 2, 2005

Here's a few of the latest trends...

...

1999-2002 Associated Production Music LLC
posted by NinjaPirate at 3:59 AM on March 2, 2005

Half the songs are composed by "Barbie McDonald". That's a great punk name! If the other songs were by "N. Ron Hubbard" and "Walter Martin Disney" I might think they hired real punks.
posted by bendybendy at 4:07 AM on March 2, 2005

Thanks, Tlogmer, for a fascinating glimpse into how this part of the music/entertainment business works. At my most cynical, I had always imagined that services like this had to exist, but to see it in front of me, with buttons I can click on, samples I can hear, all segregated and categorized into neat little boxes ... I am filled with a mixture of admiration, revulsion, fascination, and abject horror.

At least now, when I'm talking about music I hate, I can use the shorthand "Rap/Rock/Aggro/Alternative" instead of having to list Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, Rage Against the Machine, Kid Rock, and Korn individually ...
posted by kcds at 4:29 AM on March 2, 2005

Here are their 2005 releases, NinjaPirate.

Those r sme h0t zm00th flavas they r spinnin! werd!

And you gotta love the pre-recorded, ready-to-go movie trailer themes. Gotta genre, well... we've gotta theme for you!
posted by tittergrrl at 4:32 AM on March 2, 2005

At least now, when I'm talking about music I hate,

Why would you hate any kind of music? Just change the station.
posted by signal at 5:24 AM on March 2, 2005

What a great idea it is to start playing a sample on mouseover!
posted by Herr Fahrstuhl at 5:46 AM on March 2, 2005

kcds: Here's this phenomenon in a form perhaps palatable to you.

signal: Ever been in an elevator or a dentist's office? If I have to listen to Neil Diamond or A Thousand Strings or *shudder* c&w against my will, I would call the emotion I experience "hate", to put it mildly.
posted by sninky-chan at 5:51 AM on March 2, 2005

great site, sninky-chan
posted by stargell at 6:04 AM on March 2, 2005

This isn't really a "hey, get to know your music styles" site. Production (or Library) Music is a staple of the advertising and tv production industries, where budget (or time constraints) don't allow you to either comission a unique piece of music, or license a commercially available track. Production Libraries allow you to find a track or musical segment that will fit quickly and (generally) cheaply.

The take music from composers and songwriters who specifically specialise in Production Music and, in turn, those composers get a living wage while searching for the big break.

So while it's OK to view this with a cynical eye, it's actually a win-win-win service for composers, producers and, of course, the middle-men - the Production Libraries themselves...
posted by benzo8 at 6:14 AM on March 2, 2005

Actually, given what that company does, I thought their punk samples were pretty good. Better than I would expect anyway. This is really just the musical equivalent to PhotoDisc after all. I do like the lengths they go to in their effort to define punk though. I can't help but picture some grey-haired ad exec paging thru there, desperate to understand those crazy kids of today.
posted by spilon at 7:06 AM on March 2, 2005

Who would ever lump The Clash and Black Flag into a genre of "All Old Punk", much less describe that genre as sounding "amateur" and lacking in harmony. His descriptions suck. That or this is brilliantly subversive.
posted by fshgrl at 7:18 AM on March 2, 2005

The Style: Rap/Rock/Aggro/Alternative

Definition: The fusion of Rap, Rock, and electronic idioms into a new aggressive sound...

Instead of calling bread "bread," i'm going to call it water/dry yeast/flour/olive oil/salt. Thank you corporate culture!
posted by tpl1212 at 7:24 AM on March 2, 2005

I'm sure I'm missing something here, and maybe this site is extraordinarily clever or something (I wouldn't know because I'm not clicking the link) but, Chrissakes, every time I see "Avril Lavigne" and "punk" in the same sentence, it makes me weep uncontrollably.
posted by damnthesehumanhands at 7:30 AM on March 2, 2005

Am I being unhip to observe that I not occasionaly find out about bands by hearing their records in television programmes and googling for the lyrics? Without companies like this I'd never have found out about Fastball for instance.
posted by dmt at 7:38 AM on March 2, 2005

"Without companies like this"

No, no, you see, this company does not sell licensing rights to music by actual bands, but instead sells numb and joyless music produced to satisfy the hardons of the corporate culture. And that is why some may/should hate it.
posted by StrangerInAStrainedLand at 8:09 AM on March 2, 2005

They have a song called "Puke." I wonder where one would use that.
posted by SisterHavana at 8:26 AM on March 2, 2005

New reverse psychology Pepto Bismol campaign?
posted by cavalier at 8:31 AM on March 2, 2005

this company does not sell licensing rights to music by actual bands, but instead sells numb and joyless music

Point taken that they're not selling licensing. But it's still music made by musicians isn't it? Seems to me that this isn't that far from artists painting commissions to put food on the table while painting their magnum opus on the side. Without "corporate culture" such as it existed at the time there'd be no van Gough. If the next Kevin Shields is keeping his head above water making music for these guys while honing the sound for his first album in the meantime then I guess everybody's happier. And I get cool music form musicians who've been able to make music rather than say honing their skills working in a pet food plant.
posted by dmt at 8:39 AM on March 2, 2005

As someone who makes a reasonable chunk of my living out of writing such "numb and joyless music" (though not for the library in question), I have to say...

Thrrrrrp!

It fulfills a need, a number of needs: not all band will license their music for commercial uses, and good on them; not all corporate types do know enough about bands, or where to find them, in order to find the right piece for their project; and not all composers and song-writers sell a hit song and never have to worry about where the next royalty cheque is coming from. If you don't like the music that's being produced specifically as library music then stop listening to library music. Go make some of your own...
posted by benzo8 at 8:40 AM on March 2, 2005

I want to write songs for Avril. She's rad.
posted by Quartermass at 8:55 AM on March 2, 2005

Wow, sninky-chan. I just spent an hour at your link and only scratched the surface. I've been wishing someone would put up a guide like that.
posted by Songdog at 9:22 AM on March 2, 2005

every time I see "Avril Lavigne" and "punk" in the same sentence, it makes me weep uncontrollably.

Hey, damnthesehumanhands, you should really see someone about that. Unless you're a) a fourteen-year-old girl or b) a sk8r boi, you just shouldn't be that deeply affected by anything Avril Lavigne does. And the self-abuse of actually putting the offending words together in a sentence yourself - that's a cry for help, man.

Tell you what: take two Fugazi albums (or one extra-strength Minor Threat) and try and get a good night's no sleep. If you're still upset after that, spit on somebody. It's gonna be all right, man. It's gonna be all right.
posted by gompa at 11:00 AM on March 2, 2005

What I'm not hip to are sites that start playing music when I hit their home page. When I want your music I'll ask for it. For now, you stick to text and pictures.
posted by victors at 11:31 AM on March 2, 2005

Why would anybody try to be "hip to new trends"?
posted by davy at 11:38 AM on March 2, 2005

I lost my indie cred down the back of a sofa. Has anyone seen it?

Still, now at least I know what emo is. And I was right all along. It does suck.
posted by Sparx at 11:47 AM on March 2, 2005

Avril Levigne is about as punk as Bobby Goldsboro.
posted by vapidave at 12:17 PM on March 2, 2005

Well, right; I was being facecious.

benzo8 : There's nothing wrong with library music. But library punk is a different matter.
posted by Tlogmer at 1:47 PM on March 2, 2005

When did Avril Lavigne become "punk"?

Oh, that's right. Never.
posted by Target Practice at 2:54 PM on March 3, 2005