The amazingly pathetic sex-for-rent poster

March 6, 2005 2:36 PM

The amazingly pathetic sex-for-rent poster. Hey ladies, New York got you strapped for cash? Looking for a nicely lit apartment with high ceilings? This handsome, black haired bachelor has a room available at cut-rate prices. After all, money isn't everything.
posted by nyterrant (39 comments total)

Somehow, making fun of "pathetic" people or things just isn't what it used to be. Call me crazy.
posted by jonmc at 2:49 PM on March 6, 2005

I'm with jonmc. So?
posted by thinkpiece at 2:51 PM on March 6, 2005

You have to consider quality, jonmc. Making fun of every pathetic person you see just leaves you exhausted and empty.

Not sure this merits an fpp, though.
posted by Krrrlson at 2:52 PM on March 6, 2005

I wonder what neighborhood.

jk
posted by sswiller at 2:53 PM on March 6, 2005

tee hee. isn't there a bunch of things like this in the back pages of the village voice?
posted by Arch Stanton at 2:53 PM on March 6, 2005

Now, being upset with him for being sleazy is something else entirely, and that I'd be happy to tear apart, but I don't know that that's what this is.

But a round of "Ha-Ha! Poor loser can't get laid," is just cruel. And cruel isn't that mondo jovial. sorry.
posted by jonmc at 2:55 PM on March 6, 2005

Yeah, when we start throwing around "Ha, he can't get laid," I get nervous.
posted by NickDouglas at 2:59 PM on March 6, 2005

I don't understand what's so pathetic or funny about that; it's worked for me several times.
posted by davy at 3:01 PM on March 6, 2005

i hear people often auction silly things on eBay.
posted by quonsar at 3:05 PM on March 6, 2005

Hope he likes his apartment filled with drug-users, winos and head-case "roomates".
posted by uni verse at 3:05 PM on March 6, 2005

It's a good thing that this has been pointed out to us, as New York's craigslist listings have NEVER had anything in this vein before, and they certainly aren't posted several times on a daily basis.
posted by incomple at 3:26 PM on March 6, 2005

There's a porn site where the entire schtick is that they ostensibly (who really knows if it's a hoax?) do exactly this to find their 'talent.'
[NSFW] Mike's Apartment [NSFW]
posted by Ryvar at 3:27 PM on March 6, 2005

I saw one of these in DC a bit back that was less blatant. Basically, asking for an attractive, intelligent single girl who liked too cook. And, warning! There's only room for one bed!

Naturally, I responded, but nothing came of it.
posted by dougunderscorenelso at 3:32 PM on March 6, 2005

I agree...so?

wasn't that bad a read.... If you're not interested in a room, just ignore it...
posted by HuronBob at 3:33 PM on March 6, 2005

He'll still have to come down to beat $150 for a share in Soho.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 3:48 PM on March 6, 2005

I think if you're tagging your post "craigslist", that there should be a red flag that you shouldn't be posting it. Same with The Onion, or weird eBay listings like quonsar pointed out.
posted by jonson at 3:50 PM on March 6, 2005

There's a porn site where the entire schtick is that they ostensibly (who really knows if it's a hoax?) do exactly this to find their 'talent.'

Also, all those guys in the movies are real unknowing pizza delivery boys!!!!!
posted by chundo at 3:56 PM on March 6, 2005

Also, all those guys in the movies are real unknowing pizza delivery boys!!!!!

That'd be great if more of them began, "well, it all started when I was posting on metafilter..."
posted by Arch Stanton at 3:58 PM on March 6, 2005

i wouldn't call this funny, per se, I have a few guy friends and girl friends who might be open to this type of offer for an affordable place in NYC. It's not everyone's cup of tea, perhaps, but to each their own.

would this fall under the category of "sugar daddy"?


(regardless, it's not fpp material... moving on)
posted by pelican at 4:04 PM on March 6, 2005

Why do we hate the Onion? They posted one of the best stories ever:

"Housewife arrested in sex for security scandal."
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:32 PM on March 6, 2005

For a short time only, more Craigslist pathology.
posted by StickyCarpet at 4:39 PM on March 6, 2005

2BR, living room and kitchen all connected by a long hallway, the BR's are on opposite ends of the apt. High ceilings, well-lit and partially furnished, with an option on some additional furniture. Quiet and safe. Since I'm often away, you would often have the place to yourself. Everything else about the apt will be shared 50/50.

I'm a 35 y.o., professionally-employed and very busy guy - my lifestyle includes quite a bit of domestic and foreign travel. I'm sane, conversational, good company and fun to hang with, but I'm not around on a predictable basis these days. Since I'm also not involved with anyone, I'd like to meet someone who's interested in being more than just a roommate - someone who's attractive and fit, intelligent, worldly - a female interested in sharing good times when I'm around and occasional playful, intimate fun in a mutually beneficial living arrangment. In return, I want to offer a very reasonable rent - money isn't everything!

I'm handsome, with a head full of dark hair and blue eyes; athletic; lived in Europe for 5 years and have dual citizenship. I may even move back to Europe someday, I like it there so much.

I'd appreciate replies with recent photos.
posted by slapshot57 at 4:42 PM on March 6, 2005

Do over: For a short time only, more Craigslist pathology.
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:00 PM on March 6, 2005

Also, all those guys in the movies are real unknowing pizza delivery boys!!!!!

Further explanation: the thing is, if memory serves, one of the women totally flipped out on them and basically walked out when they tried to make the transition from nudity to sex.

That suggested to me that the whole thing might not be a complete hoax.
posted by Ryvar at 5:27 PM on March 6, 2005

After reading about the 3' by 6' area offered for $150 in Armitage's link, all I can think of is: At least when you die the coffin won't see crowded.
posted by Justinian at 5:41 PM on March 6, 2005

Hmm, when I put it up, I didn't think this post would get shellacked like it did. I thought it was funny, but I can see how some people might think it's 'marginally funny of the web' and not best of the web.

Different senses of humor aside, I don't think this is a case of 'Ha-ha! Poor loser can't get laid,' at all. The guy ostensibly makes enough money to hold down a 2br apartment and fancies himself an international man of mystery. The fact that he's going around offering this faustian bargain - and failing - seemed funny and novel enough for an FPP to me.
posted by nyterrant at 6:50 PM on March 6, 2005

I don't think this is a case of 'Ha-ha! Poor loser can't get laid,' at all.

And yet, your post begins: "The amazingly pathetic sex-for-rent poster..." and the replies on CL seem to be in the same vein.
posted by jonmc at 7:00 PM on March 6, 2005

Jonmc, that's because I was cribbing from the post I linked to, not because I was pontificating. I liked to that post because this guy's posts keep getting deleted.
posted by nyterrant at 7:05 PM on March 6, 2005

Given the nature of NYC craigs, I think he'd get further by explaining that he's erudite, has a full head of hair, and enjoys cooking and cocaine.
posted by Jack Karaoke at 7:08 PM on March 6, 2005

In Chicago craigslist it's all about the 420.
posted by SisterHavana at 7:13 PM on March 6, 2005

Is it just me, or did anyone else immediately think of The Continental?
posted by Parannoyed at 8:04 PM on March 6, 2005

This guy doesn't seem pathetic, he seems psycho. I don't think a prostitute would take him up on his offer. Seven hundred a month, or so isn't that much for being someone's sex toy. Tell me you could have a normal life with this guy.

I'd rather rent a room in a convent. And I hate nuns.
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 8:21 PM on March 6, 2005

Devils Rancher writes " Why do we hate the Onion?"
Because everyone who wants to read The Onion already does. It does not need to be posted here. It's old enough so that everyone already knows about it's brand of quirky sarcastic humor.

That's not even amazingly pathetic. And, I was really hoping for a poster, that showed the guy, asking for rent for sex. Y'know, like one of those with the number available to tear off at the bottom. And this one would still have all the numbers on it. And he wouldn't be as handsome as he claims. That'd be pathetic.
posted by graventy at 9:24 PM on March 6, 2005

Cheer up nyterrant, your instincts are spot on. This is very funny indeed. With a dollop of real creepiness when you read his ad closely. Full Head of Dark Hair simply has no idea how many lines he is crossing by offering cheap rent for sex ("playful, intimate fun" - eeurgh!) with some lucky, lucky gal. He thinks he's being a bit edgy and sophisticated, we know he knows the statistics about single NY women, hell, he's even lived in Europe!
I'm afraid I sort of hope he ends up with a SWF Jennifer Jason Leigh roommate (but without all the messy murder business at the end, naturally).
posted by Jody Tresidder at 6:49 AM on March 7, 2005

Must have titties and a budonkadonk butt.
posted by scarabic at 7:32 AM on March 7, 2005

StickyCarpet- what's crazy is that an acquaintance of mine went out on a date with her. He posted about it, hilariously, but I think all those older posts got deleted.
posted by mkultra at 9:43 AM on March 7, 2005

Hee hee, scarabic!
posted by Specklet at 9:46 AM on March 7, 2005

Yeah, I'm not quite sure this qualifies as FPP material, although I do look forward to its eventual appearance on The Black Table.
posted by afroblanca at 11:24 AM on March 7, 2005

Sidenote -- I maintain Tony's Law is probably the best thing to come out of The Onion in years. But, it's an exception that proves the rule.
posted by effugas at 12:23 PM on March 7, 2005