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UK Shop Names
March 10, 2005 2:06 AM   Subscribe

Because "Tanning Salon" just won't bring in the punters. Where its worth spending some money just to see the names show up on your credit card statement.
posted by bunglin jones (48 comments total)

 
Those are so bad they're not funny. :)
posted by wsg at 2:10 AM on March 10, 2005


I remember visiting a chippy in Scotland simply because it was called McChans. Top link mate.
posted by 13twelve at 2:34 AM on March 10, 2005


Nice site, despite missing some great yorkshire ones. There's a tanning shop in Leeds called "Tans in 'ere", and this Otley shop is my favourite, although it's not really a pun: Brian Pickles Lawn Mowers.

For some reason, Hull is packed with puns.
posted by handee at 2:44 AM on March 10, 2005


Great FPP. "Beau Thai" - that's just puntastic.

The dodgy pun is a hallmark of the UK small business - that and a white van with a white van man driving it.
posted by FieldingGoodney at 8:59 AM on March 10, 2005


There really are some clever / painfully punny ones here, awesome. In contrast, southern Ontario has shop names that just baffle me (it was quite nice inside incidentally, lots of "smart kid" toys).
posted by nelleish at 9:02 AM on March 10, 2005


What is a "punter"? a pun(?)
posted by thomcatspike at 9:11 AM on March 10, 2005


'punter' is a customer/man on the street
posted by Navek Rednam at 9:13 AM on March 10, 2005


No "Doggy Styles" dog groomer?
posted by jon_kill at 9:14 AM on March 10, 2005


There's a dog groomer around here called Snip Doggie Dog- sometimes I even see their pimpin van driving around!
posted by gus at 9:19 AM on March 10, 2005


a white van with a white van man driving it.

I don't get it--care to explain this to a ignerent Amurcan?
posted by scratch at 9:30 AM on March 10, 2005


White van man. It's a reference to the colour of the van, not the man, in case anybody wondered. White van man is also the archetypal reader of the British tabloids.
posted by vbfg at 9:34 AM on March 10, 2005


I wonder how many fish and chip shops there are with 'plaice' in the name. There's "The In-Plaice" near my house, and another elsewhere in my home town. There must be thousands...
posted by vbfg at 9:36 AM on March 10, 2005


Back in the early 70s, the quarterback for the Miami Dolphins was one Bob Griese. My mom had the brilliant idea that he should open a toy store when he retired and call it Griese Kid Stuff.

good times, good times.

scratch: if you watch the world's-worst-driver shows, you'll see an abundance of white-van-men in the ones from the UK. You can tell these by (1) the British accents, and (2) the announcer/host goes into the same hysterics for passing in the not-passing-lane and not signaling a turn as he does for going 120mph the wrong way down a one-way street by a school. MADNESS! SHEER MADNESS!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:49 AM on March 10, 2005


There's a pizza place near me in southend called Come Come Pizza - just not appetising
posted by lloyder at 10:05 AM on March 10, 2005


There's a shop in Brampton, Ontario, called The Little Shop of Floors.
posted by orange swan at 10:08 AM on March 10, 2005


pho shizzle!
posted by space2k at 10:08 AM on March 10, 2005


Unfunny as some of these names are, they are memorable and that's what matters most in a business name. Of course you don't want something squicky like "Come Come Pizza". Ugh, I would never eat there.
posted by orange swan at 10:10 AM on March 10, 2005


White van man is also the archetypal reader of the British tabloids.

Would that be the guys who wear 3/4 length beige coats and a cloth cap?
posted by clevershark at 10:13 AM on March 10, 2005


Longridge in the house! That Cosmopoli - tan salon is just down from my Auntie's house.
Even though Longridge seems like an obvious place name, they've got an origin story to explain it:

On his way to Preston banks, Oliver Cromwell looked over and exclaimed, " Cor, what a long ridge!" That being the first time anyone noticed that it was, in fact, a long ridge, the name stuck.

My favorite local (Columbus Ohio) tanning salon name is Tanfastic. I also like Hottie Body tanning, because around here it rhymes.
posted by putzface_dickman at 10:14 AM on March 10, 2005


I think "TanFastic" was used as the charmingly local tanning salon name in the charmingly rustic Irish town visited by Janeane Garofolo's character in the not very good 1997 flick "The Matchmaker"
posted by juanjamon at 10:29 AM on March 10, 2005


A shop name that sticks with me was a hair salon in Chicago called "Curled Up and Dyed".
posted by lazywhinerkid at 10:32 AM on March 10, 2005


This one is pure genius. Great site.
posted by spock at 10:38 AM on March 10, 2005


13twelve
I remember visiting a chippy in Scotland

umm...I remember visiting a chippy in Scotland too.

Her name was ...wait...

We're not talking about the same thing here, are we?

Wasn't it Churchill who said that the US and England were
two countries, divided by a common language?
/can't paraphrase for sh!t.
posted by exparrot at 10:50 AM on March 10, 2005


here we have a fish and chip shop called the "Cod Almighty"
posted by silence at 11:04 AM on March 10, 2005


Thanks for explaining white van men. In NY we call them "bike messengers." [/tangent]

Here in NY there is supposedly a chippy called A Salt and Battery. Hee! And I swear I saw an exterminator in the phone book called Final Solution.
posted by scratch at 11:09 AM on March 10, 2005


A shop name that sticks with me was a hair salon in Chicago called "Curled Up and Dyed".

Unless you're speaking of a variation, the famous one is not past tense: Curl Up and Dye. After the salon appeared in "Blues Brothers," the name started popping up all over the country.

Could swear this was posted before, but I can't find it in the archives: Dew Drop Inn and Lettuce Entertain You:
Onomastic Sobriquets in the Food and Beverage Industry
.
posted by me3dia at 11:38 AM on March 10, 2005


Battersea Cod's Home almost killed me. Then it made me hungry.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:59 AM on March 10, 2005


not so funny but i must admit
i laughed out loud at "sofa so good".. :D
posted by zenzizi at 12:05 PM on March 10, 2005


There's 'Spice Grills' kebab shop in Queen's Park, London and 'The Pink Pamper' men's beautician in Brighton that should really get a mention. As should 'Ho Li Fok' (or it might have been 'Fook') a Chinese takeway somewhere oop north.

jon_kill: 'Doggie Styles' is just up the road from 'The Pink Pamper' in Brighton ;-)
posted by i_cola at 12:27 PM on March 10, 2005


Sometime back a picture was floating on the internet of a repair van for an air-conditioning repair company. The company name was Stiff Nipples.
At best, I could say it was Scandinavian but am not sure. The company name was in English letters, the rest was not.

To this day I would pay to get a company shirt from Stiff Nipples. Anyone know this company, give me a country and town name if you can...

Bravo to the folks with the guts to put these names on the front of the stores. Thanks for the post!
posted by fluffycreature at 12:30 PM on March 10, 2005



posted by ssmith at 12:39 PM on March 10, 2005


Curled Up and Dyed was the name od Dolly Parton's salon in Steel Magnolias.

What? My wife told me.

Now, if you don't mind, Fried Green Tomatoes is coming on
posted by Mick at 1:50 PM on March 10, 2005


In Monticello, NY, there's a laundromat/deli called "The Wash & Nosh", and here in Portland there's a do-it-yourself pet grooming place called "Beauty for the Beast - Pet Launderette".

Don't any of you think that a few of these look suspiciously photoslopped?
posted by Specklet at 2:31 PM on March 10, 2005


Back in the late '80s I worked a summer temp job at the State of Ohio Barber Board (they do the licensing for barbers and cosmetologists). We saw dozens, nay hundreds, of "clever" puns on "shear" and other haircutting-related terms as shop names. ("Cutting Edge" was fairly popular.) They exist in every line of business.

There's a Canadian chain of Chinese take-out restaurants caled "Ho Lee Chow." Heh.
posted by kindall at 3:22 PM on March 10, 2005


Somewhere in my area there's a medical professional listed on his/her sign as "A. Ho". I think he or she should have gone with the full first name or two initials or something.
posted by orange swan at 3:28 PM on March 10, 2005


Vacuum City in Syracuse, NY.

Ready Funeral Home in VT.

The Vinyl Solution. Dreadful.
posted by vers at 4:27 PM on March 10, 2005


There's a Chinese Kitchen / Food Truck on my campus called "Wok on Wheels". Someday I plan on owning a chain of restruants...I will name them "Wok on the Yellow Birck Road"
posted by phyrewerx at 4:45 PM on March 10, 2005


Well there's (or was) already one in Waterford, Ireland called the "Wok Right Inn". Ouch.
posted by kersplunk at 6:02 PM on March 10, 2005


Just remembered that in a little town where I lived there was a "Trench Funeral Home".

Unfortunate choice, I thought.
posted by orange swan at 6:30 PM on March 10, 2005


There is or used to be a Chinese take-out place in sunny Gainesville FL called, simply enough, Chinee Takee-Outee.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:07 PM on March 10, 2005


The parents of a friend of mine run a Chinese restaurant called Wok 'n' Stix. A Salt and Battery is pretty good eatin', and less than 2 blocks away from where I live. And yeah, haircutting places seem pretty unbiquitous: My Mane Man is one I've seen that sticks in my head.
posted by 235w103 at 7:16 PM on March 10, 2005


I really miss "Linoleum Dicks" (no apostrophe) linoleum store on Bascom Ave. in San Jose. It's now "Dick's Carpet One."
posted by JDC8 at 7:31 PM on March 10, 2005


I can't believe no one's mentioned "Big Dicks's Halfway Inn" yet.
posted by Eekacat at 8:42 PM on March 10, 2005


In New Orleans, many natives use the phrase "by my Mama's", as in "I'm stayin' by my Mama's" ("I'm living at my parent's house right now"). When I was there, I always wanted to open a restaurant called "Bayou Mama's".

Now that I'm in Greece, do you think it would be a good idea to open a sandwich shop called "Pitaphile"? *Ducks and covers*
posted by taz at 9:35 PM on March 10, 2005


In the West End in Vancouver, BC there is a combination laundromat and tanning salon (brilliant, really-- too bad it's not that well-kept).

It's called Laund'rays.
posted by mireille at 10:09 PM on March 10, 2005


"Home for battered fish" - a personal fave in Reading (uk)
posted by foozleface at 1:19 AM on March 11, 2005


On Endell Street in London, the chippy is called "The Rock and Sole Plaice"...
posted by benzo8 at 2:45 AM on March 11, 2005


A friend of mine used to be a receptionist for an electrical retailer run by Mr Mycock. He left after 2 weeks cos people kept ringing him up just to hear him say, "Hello, Mycock's Electrical."
posted by Pericles at 4:18 AM on March 11, 2005


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