Duct Tape is useful for so many things!
March 16, 2005 9:29 AM   Subscribe

Duct-tape czar appointed to Home Depot executive board. In a decision that sends hardware futures skyrocketing, Tom Ridge gets a real job. (Old news, but funny nonetheless...)
posted by all-seeing eye dog (15 comments total)
 
Not trying to stir up any more political debate, I just thought this was funny, and couldn't find where this had been discussed previously on MeFi.
posted by all-seeing eye dog at 9:32 AM on March 16, 2005


Hey, isn't there some kind of rule against Onion articles as FPPs??

Wait....


posted by selfmedicating at 9:38 AM on March 16, 2005


could anyone direct me to the chickenwire and pussywillow?
posted by quonsar at 9:40 AM on March 16, 2005


No fucking way.
posted by destro at 9:41 AM on March 16, 2005


First Wolfowitz and now Ridge. Any guesses about which plum is going to fall in Rummy's lap?
posted by 327.ca at 9:49 AM on March 16, 2005


"Any guesses about which plum is going to fall in Rummy's lap?"

My money's on a sweet-heart royalty deal on returns from the forthcoming documentary about the build-up to the Iraq War, called "Rumsfeld's War" (co-produced by Robert McNamara).
posted by all-seeing eye dog at 9:56 AM on March 16, 2005


Well at least it's funnier than Wolfowitz running the World Bank.
posted by carter at 9:59 AM on March 16, 2005


Well at least it's funnier than Wolfowitz running the World Bank.

Around here, Home Depot is pretty much universally referred to as Home Despot. So having Duct Tape Boy running Home Despot just makes all kinds of sense.
posted by 327.ca at 10:02 AM on March 16, 2005


set up special Homeland Security displays nears it entrances to tout sales of duct tape, plastic sheeting, batteries and bottled water, among other safe-room supplies.

I feel like I'm trapped in some megalomaniacal consumer society sci fi. I say this as I drink water that I just bought for $1.25.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 10:09 AM on March 16, 2005


I have long suspected that his post at HS was pro quid pro for his enron contracts in Penn.
posted by hortense at 10:16 AM on March 16, 2005


More importantly - how will these actions impact Home Depot's growing status as THE single hotspot? Surely this move was made to secure Tom Ridge's vocal talents, which will promptly be used to record coo-ing love themes and piped through the store? Like Starbucks, the CD will be available for purchase by the register, next to the tiny flashlights and contractor pencils.
posted by Dallasfilm at 10:24 AM on March 16, 2005


great move. next to granite countertops in the kitchen, nothing increases the value of a home more than removing the terrorists from it.
posted by cusack at 11:15 AM on March 16, 2005


The Department of Homeland Defense is, allegedly, one of the most important departments in the U.S. Government. Tom Ridge was given the job of protecting our country. Instead of performing this vital public service, he figured he wasn't making enough money. So much for public service.
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:19 AM on March 16, 2005


So it'll be code orange from here on out?

Is Homer teh gay terrorist or isn't he? Only Uncle Tommy knows for sure.
posted by nofundy at 11:41 AM on March 16, 2005


So it'll be code orange from here on out?

Mind like a steel trap. Good one, nofundy.
posted by 327.ca at 11:51 AM on March 16, 2005


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