Comments on: The greatest sexual moments in video game history

The greatest sexual moments in video game history

Dean Keaton — Thu, 24 Mar 2005 21:34:20 -0800

The greatest sexual moments in video game history. From Rampage to the cheapest japanese NES games to Mortal Kombat and beyond, someone out there took the energy better spent on... anything else to create a list of sexuality in societys black sheep: Video games. Does not hold preference to any sexual preference, NSFW.

By: AlexReynolds

AlexReynolds — Thu, 24 Mar 2005 21:49:45 -0800

Greatest sexual insecurities in video game history...

By: chicken nuglet

chicken nuglet — Thu, 24 Mar 2005 23:02:32 -0800

That was amusing. Then tedious. Now I just feel dirty.

By: blacklite

blacklite — Thu, 24 Mar 2005 23:18:04 -0800

Yeah, the first nine.. or ten, I guess, I felt I had to get to the end of #10 out of duty (CORN ON THE COB BOSS!) ... they were amusing. I got all the way to #26 before quitting, though. It just gets kind of lame.

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Thu, 24 Mar 2005 23:23:10 -0800

hmm... pop-ups -- check heart shaped backgrounds -- check 8-bit voyeurism -- check *head asplodes

By: Dean Keaton

Dean Keaton — Thu, 24 Mar 2005 23:46:55 -0800

Just wait until you see the last page. I couldn't beleve that was in a video game.

By: puke & cry

puke & cry — Thu, 24 Mar 2005 23:47:18 -0800

hmm, most of them were lame, some of them were classic.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 00:09:45 -0800

*plunks down another fiver for new username "MAD TIGER BALLS!"*

By: i_cola

i_cola — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 01:46:06 -0800

Stretching some of these examples would have been less tedious if the writer(s) could actually write beyond some dopey college-age game player mindset. But, hey, it's the web. Anyone can do it!

By: truex

truex — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 01:49:54 -0800

These moments are great when they're something that the artists and developers missed or slipped in, but when it's just the player making game characters overlap and going "hurr they have man-sex," it gets irritating. The old 8-bit examples were great, though.

By: incomple

incomple — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 02:24:06 -0800

...when it's just the player making game characters overlap and going "hurr they have man-sex," it gets irritating. I couldn't agree more, truex. Especially since they're overlooking the numerous cumshots all throughout Parappa the Rapper.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 03:23:43 -0800

What the hell? No Leisure Suit Larry? No Three Sisters Story, no Water Closet, no Battle Raper: HYPER REALACTION or any Hentei at all? There's not even any mention of Mario and Toad in Mario64. Damn, that Toad sure likes him some Italian sausage. AND WHAT ABOUT PRINCESS TOADSTOOL'S DELICIOUS CAKE!? We're sorry Mario, but the princess is in another castle! *grumblegrumble*

By: damnitkage

damnitkage — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 03:33:30 -0800

stupid, boring and old

By: loquacious

loquacious — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 03:34:57 -0800

I was expecting more from the last page. Err, bad choice of words. Linky so you don't have to slog through all of it like I did only to be let down.

By: Pretty_Generic

Pretty_Generic — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 04:18:43 -0800

By: notsnot

notsnot — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 06:44:28 -0800

P_G, that made my fucking *week*.

By: Baby_Balrog

Baby_Balrog — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 06:47:41 -0800

Yeah, he missed quite a few good ones. But I was very pleased by the appearence of my favorite 16-bit wrestling games of yesteryear. Homophobic, much? 'Tis the web, though. He didn't have to write like an 8 year old off his meds, though.

By: spicynuts

spicynuts — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 07:43:10 -0800

He uses the word 'bevy' on that last page. I dare you to find me an 8 year old, meds or no, that can use the word 'bevy' in a sentence. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

By: Baby_Balrog

Baby_Balrog — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 07:56:18 -0800

Heh. Ok spicynuts. Point noted. He also used the word ribaldry, which is drastically underused in today's social lexicon. BTW - has anybody ever mentioned that the spell check runs your name as pignuts? Not trying to offend, but how fascinating, no? Pignuts. Hardly a word, I'd say. pignuts. heh.

By: Busithoth

Busithoth — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 08:03:47 -0800

I was about to get indignant when he started attacking battletoads. then I realized that he was specifying genital spotting, rather than sexual content. I mean, are those tiger balls supposed to be suggestive or something? I looked at the animated gif for 10 repetitions before scrolling down and seeing where he was going with it. still, amusing (if over-long). and hell, some of the games he found are beyond bizarre, and get points for obscurity in my book

By: Krrrlson

Krrrlson — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 09:04:24 -0800

Metafilter:

By: spicynuts

spicynuts — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 09:07:48 -0800

pignuts are not spicy. or so i'm told.

By: Krrrlson

Krrrlson — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 09:14:20 -0800

Ah crap, it seems I'm paying the terrible price for hotlinking. Let's hope that image doesn't turn into goatse.

By: straight

straight — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 10:06:50 -0800

Seanbaby did this much better. And much less safe for work.

By: fenriq

fenriq — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 11:00:22 -0800

Maybe I didn't get far enough into it but the ones I saw were pretty well lame. You what makes me laugh? Picking up hookers in Grand Theft Auto, finding a place to have some fun, getting the car rocking and then looking in the car to see Tommy (or Carl) and the prostitute just sitting in their seats looking forward.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 12:30:03 -0800

*Looks at P_G's gif* *chuckles* *looks at it again* *giggles, then chortles, then busts out laughing* *scrolls up, looks at it again, starts laughing uncontrollably* I'm just going to save that image. And every time I start feeling down I'll just take a peek at it and be happy again. I know it shouldn't be that funny, but I can't look at it and not laugh. *Scrolls back up, starts giggling again* Yup, still working. FINISH HIM!!

By: gren

gren — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 13:12:34 -0800

A Nintendo DS game comes along these lines... touch paw...go happy! golden egg in lap! The Cho Aniki section absolutely floored me...and it comes with wallpaper!

By: gren

gren — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 13:25:07 -0800

grah, sorry, linking 4chan = bad nico! touch paw...go happy!

By: Lizc

Lizc — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 15:51:20 -0800

<3 Cho Aniki. oh god how I <3 Cho Aniki. Old, but still so very good.

By: jcruelty

jcruelty — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 16:25:24 -0800

agree that seanbaby did this much better. his NES page still makes me laugh, not just the bad sex games, but also the "worst games of all time."

By: login

Thanks/Damn you straight. That wasted half an hour of my time... better than the FPP