Who's cloning who?

March 29, 2005 9:28 AM

Clonus (AKA Parts: the Clonus Horror) was released on DVD today. This ultracheap 1979 sci-fi thriller is about a compound where clones are raised, unaware that their purpose in life is to provide harvested organs (more detail here). MST3K sent it up, the Onion sneers at it, but this NY Times review (reg. reqd., scroll down) is respectful. You can rent it now, or you can wait until July for the megabudget, Michael Bay-directed version of the same damn story.
posted by barjo (25 comments total)

Or you could read Michael Marshall Smith's excellent novel Spares, which is probably the source The Island is ripping off.
posted by Vaska at 9:38 AM on March 29, 2005

I'll buy it. When? Later on!
posted by notmydesk at 9:45 AM on March 29, 2005

I happened to see this movie about 5 years ago and for some reason it stuck in my head. ...Just seemed all too eerily creapy real, in spite of being old and cheap.
posted by thisisdrew at 9:45 AM on March 29, 2005

Hold me clone daddy.
posted by drezdn at 9:46 AM on March 29, 2005

Woah. Thanks for posting this - I've been trying to place a vague memory I've had since watching this movie as a child, and was debating a post on askmefi...
posted by iamck at 10:06 AM on March 29, 2005

One of the best pieces of crap ever. I must say that despite all of its badness--I really liked the movie. Although it might be because my Dad rented it and told my brother and I not to watch it.
posted by Ironmouth at 10:08 AM on March 29, 2005

The mealy-mouthed puling protagonist is the worst. Plus it has that Biography guy in it.
posted by sciurus at 10:13 AM on March 29, 2005

Spoiler Alert:







Heh. Harvested clones play a significant role in David Mitchell's Cloud Atlas, which landed on the short list for the Booker Prize. Line of Beauty won, of course. And while I'm not sure the prize committee was aware of the antecedent, it couldn't have helped if they were.
posted by Verdant at 10:28 AM on March 29, 2005

One of my favorite MST3K's of all time. Featuring Chet from Emergency!

"They're mean to the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders!"

"It's the Tour De Van Nuys!"

"Bounce, behave! Bounce, behave!"
posted by GaelFC at 10:44 AM on March 29, 2005

UM, is it just Berek, or does anyone else not get the Mestery Theater thing? Everytime Berek has seen an episode he's had the same thought, "jee, it would be really cool if Berek could watch this wonderfully cheesey movie without the incredibly inane comments from the shadow puupets!"

Is Berek the only one who has ever wanted to have sex with his clone? It would be the ultimate form of masturbation!
posted by berek at 11:12 AM on March 29, 2005

I would say, yes — Berek probably is the only one who has ever wanted to have sex with Berek's clone.
posted by taz at 11:38 AM on March 29, 2005

Is it just MKUltra, or is Berek's constant referral to himself in the third person, totally annoying?
posted by mkultra at 11:44 AM on March 29, 2005

eyeballkid believes that berek is trying to make some kind of name for berek. maybe people will like berek better if berek refers to berek in the third person all the time, if only because berek has nothing else to offer. if berek was interesting otherwise, maybe berek wouldn't need to result to lame little tricks, IEHO.
posted by eyeballkid at 12:51 PM on March 29, 2005

Is Berek the only one who has ever wanted to have sex with his clone?

Clone, clone of my own
With it's Y chromosome changed to X
And when we're alone
with my own little clone
we will both think of nothing but sex

-I. Asimov.
posted by Capn at 12:53 PM on March 29, 2005

UM, is it just Berek, or does anyone else not get the Mestery Theater thing?

Yes, it's just you. My only bitch with the awesome MST3K is the format means they have to cut about half of most movies.
posted by Mitheral at 1:01 PM on March 29, 2005

one of my favorites
posted by dorian at 1:28 PM on March 29, 2005

Great timing as I was just trying to remember the name of this movie. I was reminded of it by the previews of the new Michael Bay movie, The Island. It seem to be a big budget remake or a blatant rip off.

Given the directory, the original may be better.
posted by beowulf573 at 1:33 PM on March 29, 2005

Berek doesn't get to be on Biography.
posted by Cyrano at 1:55 PM on March 29, 2005

My oh my walkin' by
Who's the apple of my eye
Why it's my very own
Clonie
Oh if I should stroll the 'hood
Who knew I could look so good
Just talkin' on the phone to
Clonie
We are pals
It's cool 'cause we're not lonely
Shallow gene pool
There's nothing to my only
Clonie
Me and you, hustlin' through
Holdin' on through thick and thin
Just day by day our DNA
'cause the Olsen twins got nothin' on us
We'll survive
Side by side
Mother Nature don't you call her phony
She's my clonie

Who was wealthy
But not healthy
Had no one to dwell with me
So look who i got born
Clonie
Far from broke
Bored rich folk
We don't need no natural yolk
Our babies come full formed
Clonie
We'll be huggable
Get a publicist and show them
Be the most lovable thing
Since fucking Eminem
Oh my friend
Multiply, we're a franchise
Like Walt Disney or Hannibal Lecter
We can tell our cancer cells
Are more benign than old Phil Spector
We'll survive
Side by side
Should've signed with Virgin 'stead of Sony
You're my clonie

Oh clonie how I love you
I'm the only person I ever loved
Gee, that's swell
I guess you're just my fatal attraction-y
You're my clonie
-- Nellie McKay [mp3s]
posted by dhartung at 2:14 PM on March 29, 2005

I read the horrid script to the upcomming Island film. jesus christ.

sooo many properties all smashed together. hack director. hack screenwriter.

it makes me sick.

quoting from themovieblog.com -
"Hmmm. Logan's Run + Coma + The Prisoner + The Matrix + The Truman Show + The Village + about a gazillion other sci-fi novels, short stories and Twilight Zone episodes = excuse for Michael Bay to TOTALLY BLOW SHIT UP!!!!"
posted by Lizc at 3:42 PM on March 29, 2005

This movie scared the shit out of me when I was around 7. I have a vague recollection of the idea that these golden haired innocent kids are all clamouring to graduate and go "outside" when the horror was discovered I remember bodies in plastic bags in some kind of a meat locker ... very disturbing stuff for a seven year old. Thanks mom and dad.

Oh, and don't be such a dick to Berek. I thought his comment was funny- and you eyeballkid are a spiteful prick, your vitriol probably stemming from your own feelings of a lack of recognition.
posted by Dag Maggot at 3:55 PM on March 29, 2005

People who don't 'get' MST3k should be shunned and ridiculed.
posted by clockworkjoe at 7:42 PM on March 29, 2005

[Sigh] With regard to 'getting' MST3k - Humour is subjective - there is no universal "funny". It varies widely between genders, nationalities, language groups, genrations etc. etc. My grandfather thought Benny Hill was teh laugh riot - me? -- meh ...

I'm sure your little group of Internet buddies worship at the MST3K shrine - but that universe is, believe it or not, small in the 6 billion human scheme of things.
posted by Dag Maggot at 9:04 PM on March 29, 2005

Humour is subjective

Agreed. Humor and sexuality are the two most subjective areas for most humans. That is why Berek thinks it funny when people call him a pervert when he walks down the street with his lifesize inflatable Love Ewe.

In Berek's defense they were never able to prove those cheerleaders were underage and they were able to sandblast the chocalate syrup off the walls of that motel so he got off easy.

State mandated sexual offender signs are a great way to cut down on Halloween candy expenses.
posted by berek at 9:48 PM on March 29, 2005

don't want to give it away so rot-13...

ohg xnmhb vfuvtheb'f arj obbx arire yrg zr tb vf onfrq ba guvf cerzvfr nf jryy :Q znlor gurl fubhyq unir tbggra uvz gb jevgr n fperracynl nf jryy!
posted by kliuless at 5:56 PM on March 30, 2005