...hey...ladies...check...out...my...crotch...

April 5, 2005 9:06 AM

Scrolling LED Belt Buckles. My mind runs away with me about what to use those 256 characters to say.
posted by 13twelve (47 comments total)

Wait, wait, wait. "Scrolls from left to right"? So, in the "EGO" example, I would O, G, then E? Wtf?
posted by PantsOfSCIENCE at 9:10 AM on April 5, 2005

"If you're this close, introduce yourself."
posted by jonmc at 9:13 AM on April 5, 2005

"Belt Buckle"
posted by Balisong at 9:15 AM on April 5, 2005

"IF THE NEON LIGHTS UNDER MY CAR DON'T PERSUADE YOU TO HAVE SEX WITH ME, SURELY THIS BELT BUCKLE WILL"

That, or;

"IM AN IDIOT"
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:16 AM on April 5, 2005

I saw this a month ago, and have been pondering what message I have that so urgently needs to be broadcast.

The answer: "ROFLCAUST."
posted by dougunderscorenelso at 9:32 AM on April 5, 2005

"More Money Than Sense"

(also see http://egobelts.com/design.php)
posted by donpardo at 9:37 AM on April 5, 2005

...THISISNOTABEERBELLYIT'SAFUELTANKFORASEXMACHINE...
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:37 AM on April 5, 2005

A classy item like that deserves super classy words. I'm thinking either 'Pour some sugar on me!' or 'You're my cherry pie!'. Decisions, decisions.
posted by haqspan at 9:38 AM on April 5, 2005

I have one. I like it, but I'm a little kooky that way. Either way, you don't want to put too much on there cause then you'll have a crowd staring at your junk for far too long. I recommend 12 letters or less. I also recommend getting one off ebay if you're so inclined, you'll get it for about 50% less.
posted by kookywon at 9:39 AM on April 5, 2005

DEER FEAR ME WOMEN LOVE ME
posted by driveler at 9:39 AM on April 5, 2005

Constantly updated stock quotes, just like on the exchange floor.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:48 AM on April 5, 2005

"10...9...8...7...6..."
posted by freebird at 9:50 AM on April 5, 2005

"I have Rock Balls the size of grapefruits"
posted by AwkwardPause at 9:53 AM on April 5, 2005

I need one of these!
Get yourself a BUSCH
posted by dabitch at 10:01 AM on April 5, 2005

"Any closer and you'll have to meet Mr. Pokey"
posted by fenriq at 10:02 AM on April 5, 2005

Actually, with a wireless connection, I'd scroll baseball scores and take pictures of people looking at my crotch.
posted by fenriq at 10:02 AM on April 5, 2005

A live news or stock ticker would be pretty funny.

Maybe an RSS of Metafilter.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 10:05 AM on April 5, 2005

L337 UB3R |-|4><0R
posted by Demogorgon at 10:11 AM on April 5, 2005

Apparently it's an unpopular opinion, but I think these look somewhat kitschy and fun. If it were 10 bucks instead of 75, I wouldn't mind having one as a novelty item.

$75.00 puts it firmly in the realm of "serious fashion accessory," though, instead of kitsch -- and it's not worth that much...
posted by kaseijin at 10:23 AM on April 5, 2005

2 1337 4 J0U
posted by drezdn at 10:35 AM on April 5, 2005

Oh, and if they were about $20, I'd get one. People don't stare at my crotch nearly as much as I'd like.

P.S. My birthday is coming up soon.
posted by drezdn at 10:36 AM on April 5, 2005

kaseijin, just because I made fun of it doesn't mean I don't want one to piss off people with.
posted by fenriq at 10:47 AM on April 5, 2005

"ON AIR"
posted by petebest at 10:50 AM on April 5, 2005

Urban Cowboy
posted by schyler523 at 11:21 AM on April 5, 2005

AMERACA, WE STAND AS ONE!
posted by papercake at 11:44 AM on April 5, 2005

My name is Danjuma Sule, one of the sons of major Gen Gumel Danjuma Sule, The late Nigeria's former minister of mines and power in the regime of the late former Nigeria's military Head of state, Gen Sanni Abacha.He married my mother on the agreement that my mother,Amina Fausat Sule, will maintain her family's name together with her children. Before he died in the German hospital on the 15th of November 1988 where he went to operate on the cancer of the knee, he fixed the Sum of $30,000.000.00 in the Central Bank of Nigeria under Intartrade Ventures Ltd on behalf of my mother.
posted by Capn at 12:30 PM on April 5, 2005

I just saw one of these in Times Square. It was chrome, w/blue LEDs. I don't remember the message as there were too many people for me to get a good look.
posted by bashos_frog at 12:32 PM on April 5, 2005

MONDAY - SLOPPY JOES   TUESDAY - CORN DOGS   WEDNESDAY - SALISBURY STEAK   THURSDAY - PIZZA DAY!   FRIDAY - LASAGNA  ***   DON'T FORGET TO DONATE TO THE SHARE-A-BOOK PROGRAM
posted by hellbient at 12:34 PM on April 5, 2005

Tubesteak Tuesdays
posted by schyler523 at 12:41 PM on April 5, 2005

E A T M O R E O V A L T I N E

Oops, wrong thread.
posted by me3dia at 1:06 PM on April 5, 2005

Actually, you could detach the buckle and put it in the back window of your car. I'd put it in my Prius and broadcast:
50 MPG AVG ... YOU?
posted by me3dia at 1:09 PM on April 5, 2005

AMERICA WE STAND AS ONE . COM
posted by mazola at 1:47 PM on April 5, 2005

Yeah, I know. It's SUPPOSED to be unzipped!
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 2:53 PM on April 5, 2005

I saw a woman wearing one of these on the subway late last year. I assumed it was some new sort of advertising.
posted by kickingtheground at 3:15 PM on April 5, 2005

My other belt is a Versace
posted by Sparx at 3:47 PM on April 5, 2005

Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that brought countless ills upon the Achaeans. Many a brave soul did it send hurrying down to Hades, and many a hero did it yield a prey to dogs and vultures, for so were the counsels of Jove fulfilled from the day on which the son of Atreus, king of men, and great Achilles, first fell out with one another.
posted by kickingtheground at 4:10 PM on April 5, 2005

"abandon Hope, all ye that enter unto here"
posted by Balisong at 4:11 PM on April 5, 2005

There used to be a "Scrolling LED Badge" on ThinkGeek for $35, but they must have recently discontinued it, as I'm not finding it outside of Google's cache.

They can still be found on eBay for roughly the same price.

Heh, yeah, the LED belt buckles are <$50 on eBay.
posted by LordSludge at 4:14 PM on April 5, 2005

I really feel the need to buy one fo these for the homeless people in my area. I feel sorry for them holding that sign all day, which sometimes has bad spelling and tiny print.

"will work for affection"
"I will take your doggy bags!"
posted by Viomeda at 4:18 PM on April 5, 2005

HAVE IT YOUR WAY AT BURGER KING

That buckle would pay for itself. Sweet.
posted by blendor at 6:15 PM on April 5, 2005

On second thought, I wouldn't want the words "viral marketing" associated with my crotch.
posted by blendor at 6:18 PM on April 5, 2005

I can already see a new Jenny Holzer performance/installation in the works.
posted by Lex Tangible at 6:58 PM on April 5, 2005

If your name is Joe, I suggest EAT AT JOE'S.

Or perhaps EA A OE'S.
posted by kindall at 7:09 PM on April 5, 2005

Too bad I don't tuck in my shirts :(
posted by ODiV at 8:28 PM on April 5, 2005

I EAT TAPES
posted by exlotuseater at 7:11 AM on April 6, 2005

BREAKING ----- POPE STILL DEAD ----- MORE TO FOLLOW
posted by mazola at 9:06 AM on April 6, 2005

I [HEART] MY VAGINA
posted by obloquy at 4:50 PM on April 21, 2005