Comments on: Say No To Toast

Say No To Toast

growabrain — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 00:44:30 -0800

Bread is dangerous Research on bread indicates that: More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days. (More research inside)

By: zardoz

zardoz — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 00:50:59 -0800

Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person. Ha!

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 01:08:03 -0800

this is awesome. Remember, corellation is causality!

By: Joybooth

Joybooth — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 01:11:53 -0800

Give it another hour in the oven, cap'n.

By: aubilenon

aubilenon — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 01:17:05 -0800

shmegegge, correlation causes causality! Though this one takes it to a whole new level - never mind the invalid implication that a correlation between bread users and violent crime indicates a causal relationship, the real misleading part is the implication that there is a correlation in the first place!

By: Navek Rednam

Navek Rednam — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 01:17:38 -0800

I don't like the way they just chuck all bread in one basket. What about soya bread, or wholewheat, or croissants what do the facts say about them? Are buns bad, what about Hot Cross ones? It's reports like these that are destroying science.

By: AlexReynolds

AlexReynolds — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 01:22:02 -0800

One more reason to live a gluten-free diet...

By: EvilKenji

EvilKenji — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 01:33:51 -0800

i've been suspecting this for years, especially since a similar drug is described by this site

By: paladin

paladin — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 01:34:06 -0800

I remember when I started carefully cutting off the crusts. I stepped back, and I thought, "What have I become?!?"

By: undule

undule — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 01:52:45 -0800

oh man, EvilKenji, that site is beautiful.

By: trinarian

trinarian — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 02:08:47 -0800

Come on guys... see through this. Even though the Doc is dead, this is just another example of MINDLESS HYPE by the increasingly irrelevant Atkins CORPORATION! You fools would buy into anything... This is what they WANT you to think!

By: trinarian

trinarian — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 02:09:28 -0800

bread is good and not evil.

By: derbs

derbs — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 02:34:33 -0800

It sounds like a rather poor copy of the very funny dihydrogen monoxide site.

By: derbs

derbs — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 02:35:03 -0800

Argh, didn't see that link EvilKenji :)

By: Pretty_Generic

Pretty_Generic — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 03:23:25 -0800

By: lodurr

lodurr — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 03:25:36 -0800

Hey, listen to derbs: didn't you know that every single person who has ever died of cancer has been addicted to dihydrogen monoxide?

By: lodurr

lodurr — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 03:29:23 -0800

... on the other hand, it's always important to take a balanced view on these things...

By: Witty

Witty — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 03:47:28 -0800

paladin is King.

By: elpapacito

elpapacito — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 04:08:36 -0800

Post hoc ergo propter/cum hoc ! On a tangent: that is sweet, it's like the first day on the prestigeous intarnet getting to know about IBM mouse balls !

By: Slack-a-gogo

Slack-a-gogo — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 04:45:12 -0800

I'm sure that these fans of bread would like to have some words with you.

By: a_day_late

a_day_late — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 05:06:46 -0800

My favorite bits: 11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute. 12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling. Also: Hello, Je m'appel Stefani Banerian, et vous vous trouvez · ma page d'accueil. Hah!!! I don't really speak french!

By: johnny7

johnny7 — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 05:17:44 -0800

We're toast !

By: spazzm

spazzm — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 05:23:57 -0800

Most American ~~bread eater~~s are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling. On second thought, strike out "Americans" and just put "humans". We all suck. Also, what johnny7 said

By: elpapacito

elpapacito — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 05:41:17 -0800

spazzm: second that, but actually europeans are less gullible *flamebait* but never worry we're screwing our education system as much as yours is now. See you soon in idiotland.

By: tomplus2

tomplus2 — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 07:26:07 -0800

mmm, bread.

By: Yer-Ol-Pal

Yer-Ol-Pal — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 07:42:22 -0800

Am I the only one that sees this as a very funny parody of the old chestnut that ends with " and they started out just smoking pot" ? Maybe I need those brain cells back after all......

By: AlexReynolds

AlexReynolds — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 08:24:10 -0800

One man's pain is another man's daily bread. /vaguefrenchjesuspun

By: clevershark

clevershark — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 08:34:20 -0800

It's also a fact that every murderer, rapist and drug dealer has consumed milk in their lives. Milk is therefore a gateway drug! It's not a coincidence that most breads contain milk!

By: weston

weston — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 09:09:14 -0800

By: buzzman

buzzman — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 10:45:50 -0800

Military E-3 and below can still be put on bread and water rations as a non-judicial punishment.

By: deborah

deborah — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 10:58:40 -0800

You'll pry my bread out of my cold, dead hands.

By: jonp72

jonp72 — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 12:29:17 -0800

It's also a witty demonstration of the post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy.

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 15:32:33 -0800

> It sounds like a rather poor copy of the very funny > dihydrogen monoxide site. I thought it was a rip-off of the old alt.drugs 'W' FAQ. http://www.psychoactive.com/h2o.html

By: Goofyy

Goofyy — Wed, 20 Apr 2005 03:02:45 -0800

My favorite: 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests. I am going to remember that and use it someplace else :-))

By: troutfishing

troutfishing — Wed, 20 Apr 2005 20:46:46 -0800

Brought to you courtesy of the bread council. Meanwhile - I guess nobody here has heard of Candida Albicans.