I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead.
Grand Royal: You let your accountants and all your flunkies--
Ted: THEY'RE NOT FLUNKIES!
GR: --take care of business for you.
Ted: Of course they do! BECAUSE I'VE GOT FUCKIN' KIDS, BOB!
GR: YOU'VE GOTTA BE ON TOP OF THAT SHIT!
Ted: YOU'RE A WEENIE! YOU'VE GOT NO FUCKIN' LIFE, YOU'VE GOT ALL KINDS OF TIME COS YOU GOT TWO THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF. I'VE GOT A HUNDRED THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF. IF I WAS A LUMP OF SHIT LIKE YOU AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS GET UP IN THE MORNING, DO FUCKIN' LAME INTERVIEWS AND THEN TRY TO GET PUSSY AND FAIL MISERABLY, THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANYBODY ELSE WORKING FOR ME EITHER! BUT I'M A FUCKIN' MEGA-EMPIRE AND BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY UNBRIDLED CREATIVE JUICES [hushed], it can't be done all by myself. I've gotta have a team, and if some of my team get out of hand, yeah, but you know, I'm 45 years old now which answers the question.
GR: He happens to be a Native American, Ted.
Ted: Fuckin'-A, man, then you know what the word "blood-brother" means.
GR: Ughh, here we go...
Ted: Then you know what the word "spiritual" means, dontcha?
GR Photographer: Hell yeah.
Ted: Yeah, before bingo and whiskey, you guys were all right...
« Older Cartoon Fridge... | Are you a Neo-Conservative?... Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
Buy a Shirt