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A Sweet Tart Taste
April 20, 2005 2:34 PM   Subscribe

"It tastes like cough syrup."
posted by isol (53 comments total)

 
Welcome the New Coke (again)
posted by isol at 2:35 PM on April 20, 2005


"First, it tastes like a fraternity house the day after a party."
posted by smackfu at 2:38 PM on April 20, 2005


So this means I can get drunk and operate heavy machinery?

Still waiting for Skittlebräu...
posted by AlexReynolds at 2:39 PM on April 20, 2005


The US needs its own Reinheitsgebot

Not that I mind the occasional adjunct or two for a good cause. Candi sugar, coriander, spruce tips, bring it on. But this? They shouldn't be allowed to call this beer.
posted by gurple at 2:39 PM on April 20, 2005


I blame Drew Carey.
posted by bashos_frog at 2:41 PM on April 20, 2005


From the washingtonpost.com article: The beer is called B{+E} -- with the E raised up, like an exponent in math, which is why the name is pronounced "B to the E."

WTF!?! "I'll have a B to the E, please"? That's the dumbest name I've ever heard!
posted by sveskemus at 2:43 PM on April 20, 2005


No way, sveskemus! It's a great name! Caffeine always makes me go to the bathroom. Now I can have one of these cans of dishwater and go make a log, base B, of B to the E.
posted by gurple at 2:46 PM on April 20, 2005


I've had this, and I agree; it tastes like ass. In a bad way.
posted by AllesKlar at 2:59 PM on April 20, 2005


gurple, that's pretty crap-E.

oh man, sorry. that was even worse.
posted by Igor XA at 3:09 PM on April 20, 2005


Skittlebräu

Beware: cousins of mine made that, and an ill fated day it was, beer was wasted and there was much wailing and nashing of teeth. Instead I would bid you try cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...
posted by isol at 3:10 PM on April 20, 2005


They've got nothing on you, baby.
posted by underer at 3:12 PM on April 20, 2005


Yea, it's like Red Bull beer. Awful.
posted by gottabefunky at 3:14 PM on April 20, 2005


The beer market is a mature, flat market and it's getting its ass kicked by wine and spirits right now. The big brewers are trying everything they can think of to eke out market share and get a jump on competitors, attempting to create the new "light" beer. This is just the latest attempt. "Malternatives", low carb, and now energy beers. What next? A beer douche?
posted by Eekacat at 3:23 PM on April 20, 2005


Beer enemas
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 3:28 PM on April 20, 2005


Heh, good one! I was thinking something more marketable like "Budweiser Breeze".
posted by Eekacat at 3:29 PM on April 20, 2005


oh dear. poor, poor beer. what have they done to you?

not that budweiser isn't a particularly awful and ass-tasting beer anyway, but really. come on.

*goes back to drinking real beer.*

/beer snobbery
posted by soi-disant at 3:36 PM on April 20, 2005


What next?
How about REAL beer instead of all this bogus chemical crap.
Craft beer (which is to say handmade beer with honest ingredients) is the fastest growing segment of the alcohol beverage industry. (link to a .doc file)

On preview: That Coopers is good stuff!
posted by sixpack at 3:38 PM on April 20, 2005


I think I'm gonna V to the O.
posted by fire&wings at 3:43 PM on April 20, 2005


I'm conflicted about that, sixpack. Part of me would like to see Americans drinking better beer. Part of me is worried about what happens when the big breweries start competing meaningfully with my beloved microbreweries.

AmberBock is an example. It's not dreadful. But it's not good, and I'd be really sad if it managed to make a dent in the sales of somewhat similar-style microbrews that ARE good, and we started to see fewer of those microbrews being made.
posted by gurple at 3:43 PM on April 20, 2005


go back to prohibition and legalize pot instead.

yeah, that'll be the day when americans give up their alcohol and guns.
what were the forefathers thinking? revolution or something?
posted by emdog at 3:50 PM on April 20, 2005


How about REAL beer instead of all this bogus chemical crap.

Anheuser-Busch became the first megabrewer to invest in a microbrewery when it bought into Seattle's Redhook Ale Brewery. Redhook used the funds to build several plants, including one in New Hampshire, and Anheuser-Busch announced that it would distribute Redhook's products in Boston Beer's home market, New England. That play alarmed the microbrewers.

Bud's should have called it hawth, as the taste sounds like a heart attack waiting to happen.
posted by thomcatspike at 3:59 PM on April 20, 2005


I grew up on a Big Ten campus. I am convinced that my home-town would have been raised to the ground if drunken frat boys didn't pass out and fall asleep.

This can't be a good thing for anyone.
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 4:05 PM on April 20, 2005


what happens when the big breweries start competing meaningfully with my beloved microbreweries.
Anheuser Busch is leading the charge for beer’s brewed city to be put on the beer’s label, as it is not. Samuel Adams does not have a brewery, just a recipe, ingredients and labels. Their beer is brewed in the same vats as Miller Highlife, fyi. Then there was a micro beer called Oregon brewed in Ohio.
posted by thomcatspike at 4:06 PM on April 20, 2005


B to the E sounds like something Eminem would order. Too bad they opted for that ridiculous packaging.
posted by stevil at 4:15 PM on April 20, 2005


tcs, are you calling me a Sam Adams lover? Because where I come from, them's fightin' words.

Seattle's microbrewery scene is thriving. But a couple of the best breweries around (like Baron Brewing) are very local, VERY small (Baron is two guys in a converted warehouse), and only one or two bad knocks away from real financial trouble. I hope the willingness of the megabreweries to largely ignore the microbrew trend and concentrate on the foofoo drinks, rather than competing with the micros, lasts a while longer so these guys can get more entrenched.
posted by gurple at 4:15 PM on April 20, 2005


Samuel Adams does not have a brewery, just a recipe, ingredients and labels

So that Sam Adams Brewery I toured in Jamaica Plain was a mirage? Or are you just making this stuff up?
posted by Kwantsar at 4:16 PM on April 20, 2005


beer’s brewed city to be put on the beer’s label, as it is not.
Meant not, as the law makes them do it like ingredients on a food label. Some companies do, some do not.

Kwantsar That was a report I saw several years ago. From their spokes person, so maybe they got on the ball from Bud pointing that out.
posted by thomcatspike at 4:18 PM on April 20, 2005


If the kids want Kool-Aid that fucks them up, I suggest Kool-Aid go into that market. Please, leave the beer for the adults, OK?

And here's a shout-out to a very cool local brewery here in Atlanta (Sweetwater 420 is one of their better-selling beers, appropriately enough for today). My preferred beer comes from Ireland, though. (And yeah yeah, I know it's not hte finest, nor the fanciest, nor as good as that beer you had in a pub in Dublin, but I can buy it near my house and it's reliably tasty).
posted by BoringPostcards at 4:25 PM on April 20, 2005


Buzz Beer!

Dammit, bashos_frog beat me to it!
posted by deborah at 4:28 PM on April 20, 2005


I pass a billboard for this stuff on the way to work everyday.

It says, "You can sleep when you're 30".

In my experience the phrase has always been, "You can sleep when you're dead."

So now 30 = Dead. I take great offense to this, especially as I'm rapidly approaching this milestone myself.

Now, where did I put those keys...
posted by OpinioNate at 4:55 PM on April 20, 2005


There's a bar in the East Village selling something called a "B-bomb," which was a shot of Jagermeister dropped into a short glass of the new Budweiser caffeine beer concoction, for $2. The guy next to me had a few he said they were Ok, but I imagine the Jager dominated the taste.

I'm the furthest thing from a booze snob (I even enjoyed a concoction called Snake Eyes-cherry flavored malt liquor, looked like blood with a head on it), but I don't get the booze-energy drink thing. I tried some of that Sparks shit. It tasted like bubblegum and didn't make me feel energized just more drunk.

A while back Seagram's was marketing a new flavor of it's popular-with-the-doorway-drinking-set "Gin & Juice" product, called "Blue Beast with GINSENG!" the label proclaimed.

Homeopathic alcoholics the world over rejoiced.
posted by jonmc at 5:07 PM on April 20, 2005


fuck all that shit! i'll take a dixie and half o' dozen gulf oysters thx you.

my people let me know you hear me?!
posted by nola at 5:58 PM on April 20, 2005


by 'fuck all that shit' i mean this new fangled beer and of course respectfully not your local brewer.
posted by nola at 6:04 PM on April 20, 2005


But there's only about as much caffeine as in half a cup of weak coffee, or a small Diet Pepsi. I don't get it. If you want alcohol with caffeine why not make Irish coffee, or pour rum in your double mocha latte, or mix vodka with Diet Pepsi? Or something.
posted by davy at 6:10 PM on April 20, 2005


I'd just like to say that Red Bull is the Great Satan, it really does taste like cough syrup, and people who drink it are the most frightful, common vermin. Thank you. I need to get that off my chest every so often.
posted by Decani at 6:25 PM on April 20, 2005


yuck
posted by pyramid termite at 6:37 PM on April 20, 2005


I pass a billboard for this stuff on the way to work everyday.
It says, "You can sleep when you're 30".


They are asking for it. You over-30's MeFites have my personal assurance as Chief Scientist of the Billboard Liberation Front that we will fuck that billboard seven ways from Sunday the minute we spot one in the SF Bay Area. I swear on my departed mother's can of Spray Mount.

If anyone sees one in SF, email me mrk AT billboardliberation DOT com immediately. A digital photo is helpful, anonymity always assured.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 7:02 PM on April 20, 2005


raised to the ground

I couldn't resist the subtle wordplay here - must be the beer...
posted by infini at 8:01 PM on April 20, 2005


I'll stick to Jäger Bombs.
posted by emelenjr at 8:24 PM on April 20, 2005


At last, a stepping stone for possible alcoholic meth-heads. Unlock our deranged speed-freak potential Anheuser-Busch!
posted by squirrel at 8:48 PM on April 20, 2005


Oops! There's supposed to be a comma after potential.

Also, jonmc: always a pleasure to read your reflections on matters of booze.
posted by squirrel at 8:54 PM on April 20, 2005


makes Zima seem refined.
posted by destro at 8:56 PM on April 20, 2005


Red Bull vodka, keeps you awake so you can experience the full horror of your hangover. Never again.
posted by johnny novak at 1:55 AM on April 21, 2005


A friend of mine was bartending, and was given a couple cases of these to try and push. I'm not sure if he was supposed to sell them, but we ended up just sitting around talking, and giving them to new people who came up to the bar, just to watch their faces. We warned them, but really.. nothing could prepare you for the wave of gruesome flavors that wash over your tongue, ending with a fermented spinach/liquefied halitosis + a dash of grape soda aftertaste. I guess that's the "wow" factor mentioned by the Bud PR person.. uh.. yeah, wow.

It took a pint of Guinness to get the flavor out of my mouth, the whole pint.

I really can't imagine anyone having either a positive or ambivalent reaction to this crap. In our little taste test (free booze, at a bar), we ended up throwing out the remaining 9.5oz, and cracking a fresh one for each person.
posted by Jack Karaoke at 5:47 AM on April 21, 2005


fuck all that shit! i'll take a dixie and half o' dozen gulf oysters thx you.

Only a half-dozen oysters?

Wuss.
posted by Cyrano at 7:00 AM on April 21, 2005


kwanstar- That brewery is the original one, which, I think, is either no longer used for commercial brewing or only contributes a small fraction to their output. Most of their brewing is outsourced. I do have fond memories of touring the plant, back before they became mega-popular, and it was just some guy who worked there, showing us around.
posted by mkultra at 7:15 AM on April 21, 2005


canadian brewers have also jumped on that bandwagon.
posted by xmattxfx at 7:32 AM on April 21, 2005


nola, pass the dixie (or abita) and oysters, y'hear?
posted by brand-gnu at 7:57 AM on April 21, 2005


Jack Karaoke
Seriously, I had one that someone gave me at a bar and not only did it taste like a total fucking mistake, but I was almost instantly plunged into a cold trembling sweat and nausea. It was like the kicking junk scene in Trainspotting in a little 9.5 oz can.

Vile, a disaster. I actually refused another FREE can.

The only thing I can compare it to was when Colt .45 came out with Kool Colt, which was like mentholated malt liquor. I shoplifted a can of that in High School and failed to get down more than two swigs. It was like scope and bum sweat.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:05 AM on April 21, 2005


Samuel Adams does not have a brewery, just a recipe, ingredients and labels.
Wrong. Boston Beer, which makes Sam Adams, owns two breweries. One in Boston, the other in Cincinnati (formerly Hudepohl-Schoenling). Possibly you're confused with the dysinformation campaign spread by A-B back in the '90s.

Anheuser Busch is leading the charge for beer’s brewed city to be put on the beer’s label, as it is not.
Actually, federal law requires that beer labels list either the city where the beer was brewed or the brewer's principal business location. Sam Adams labels accurately list Boston and Cincinatti. Bud, on the other hand, names only St. Louis, though it also has factories in Baldwinsville, NY; Cartersville, GA; Columbus, OH; Fairfield, CA; Fort Collins, CO; Houston, TX; Jacksonville, FL; Los Angeles, CA; Merrimack, NH; Newark, NJ; and Williamsburg, VA (not to mention scores of other plants worldwide).
posted by sixpack at 12:59 PM on April 21, 2005


If something tastes that awful, it should get you drunk a lot quicker, like Jagermeister, which really does taste exactly like cough syrup.
posted by dagnyscott at 2:57 PM on April 21, 2005


Only a half-dozen oysters?

Wuss.
brother thats just the oysters to dixie ratio.

brand-gnu! i'll set 'em up, you knock 'em back.

:)
posted by nola at 3:22 PM on April 21, 2005


Anheuser Busch is leading the charge for beer’s brewed city to be put on the beer’s label, as it is not.

I've driven by the Anheuser Busch Brewery Factory near Vacaville. I remarked to my friend how large the building was. He replied, "Well it takes a lot of guys to stand around and piss in a bottle."
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 8:44 PM on April 21, 2005


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