Can you hear me now?

April 21, 2005 4:50 PM

Ear candling is touted for removing earwax build-up, clearing sinuses, and even dislodging alien implants. This New Age version of Q-Tips has been around for centuries, yet the controversy over ear candling remains a burning issue. There are those who believe in its virtues while others warn that it's all bupkiss, and that's no dope.
posted by debralee (40 comments total)

Years ago, my sister and I were in a healthfood store, examining the hollow tapers and giggling about the possible benefits of "ear candling". The guy walked by, and very disgruntled at our quips, exclaimed "It's very soothing!" and stalked off.

Soothing it may be, I have serious doubts that it does something a warm compress couldn't.
posted by Specklet at 5:07 PM on April 21, 2005

A guy. Not the.
posted by Specklet at 5:09 PM on April 21, 2005

I have serious problems taking a product (or practice) seriously when it promises to "remove toxins".
posted by clevershark at 6:05 PM on April 21, 2005

Someone's going to post it. It's inevitable.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:10 PM on April 21, 2005

Simple experiment:

1) burn one ear-candle as directed, inserted into your ear.

2) burn another ear-candle as directed, except NOT inserted into your ear

Examine the debris the candles create. There will be no difference.
posted by sharksandwich at 6:15 PM on April 21, 2005

Oh, there are pictures! And from the first link

How Did You Get Involved in Ear Coning?

I got into ear coning by the back door.

What would be the front door for getting involved in Ear Coning?
posted by Nelson at 6:16 PM on April 21, 2005

I tried it once. I don't think I felt any different, although I do remember this look of horror from my friend when the flames were jumping up three or four inches. Be careful.

The candles are too similar a colour to ear wax for me.
posted by philfromhavelock at 6:25 PM on April 21, 2005

Did it, mostly as a joke/experiment. It seemed obvious that nothing happened. Had I been determined to believe, I might have had just enough exotic sensory details (hissing, etc.) to doctor into a BS explanation.

Of course, neither the physics nor the physiology in any of the explanations make a lick of sense and are easily disproven.

Oh, but it's an ancient art! I take it all back.
posted by argybarg at 6:26 PM on April 21, 2005

Actually, sharksandwich, I didn't find that to be the case.

I first heard about ear candles from a Chuck Palahniuk book (Choke, I believe) and decided to give it a try. Went to a local homoephathic-type store, and picked up three. Burned one with no ear attached (I set it in a Barq's Root Beer bottle), and after it burned down to a couple inches I put it out and cut it open. There was nothing inside (nor was there anything in the bottle). Then I actually used the others on my ears (with adult supervision). They were both full of junk by the end.

I was also sick for the next four days, so I'm not saying that it did a Good Thing. But I'm pretty sure it did SOMETHING.
posted by solotoro at 6:26 PM on April 21, 2005

When I first read this I pictured somebody making a candle out of ear wax a la Shrek. The truth is almost as funny.
posted by mikeweeney at 6:35 PM on April 21, 2005

If this doesn't just work on your ear I'm sure Cartman could have used it to remove any alien implants.
posted by tellurian at 6:57 PM on April 21, 2005

Actually, sharksandwich, I didn't find that to be the case.

Well, others did at both the Quackwatch and Straight Dope links.
posted by Aknaton at 7:00 PM on April 21, 2005

"When I cone ears, what I'm after is the powder. The more toxic a person is, the more orange the powder. People suffering from Candida frequently exhibit this orange powder with dark swirls in it. "

I knew it - Canadians are TOXINS! And they have the nerve to blame industry for pollution.
posted by Sparx at 7:03 PM on April 21, 2005

And of course, I have to mention the buttcandle, which probably works just as well.
posted by greasepig at 7:12 PM on April 21, 2005

Yep.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:16 PM on April 21, 2005

The worst ear infection I ever got was after an ear candling. I'd never even had a noticeable ear infection before.
About 12 hours or so after the ear candling my ears started to burn and then my throat started to burn via my eustation tubes. This lasted about a week to varying degrees.
This was at an ear candling "party".
Quite a few of us ended up with pretty bad ear infections after that party.
Heedless to say, I'll never do ear candling again and I haven't had a bad ear infection since.
posted by Dillenger69 at 7:24 PM on April 21, 2005

I tried ear candling a few years ago. Smoke poured out the bottom of the candle and into my ear. Instead of pulling junk out, I think it sent more in. I had an earache for a few days afterwards.

I also tried the sharksandwich's experiment of burning one uninserted, and got the same results.

I found an ear-candling forum at a natural medicines site, posted my findings, and asked if I'd been doing it wrong. But the moderator deleted my post!
posted by hydrophonic at 7:32 PM on April 21, 2005

Does an ear-candle promise to do anything a quick pass of a Dustbuster wouldn't do?

I mean, especially if you had a tube... *POP* Sheeit, I bet that'd clear out the opposite ear as well.

I'm sure the ear-candle is quieter, but if your ear is THAT gunked-up, I doubt you'd even notice.
posted by BoringPostcards at 7:55 PM on April 21, 2005

Well. I did an ear candling once at the Clark County Fair. And crap came out my ear. It was orange as a matter of fact. Right after that, I felt so good, I went out and had a deeply fried Hostess product. And it was all VERY holistic, so all you nay-sayers can just kiss my chakras.
posted by DeepFriedTwinkies at 9:31 PM on April 21, 2005

Years ago I was at a lecture by an Ear Nose & Throat specialist. He was asked about using cotton buds (don't know American equivalent name - matchstick lengths - you know) to clean ears out. He said that if you should never ever put anything bigger than 'this' in there.

His pinky was protruding.
posted by peacay at 1:36 AM on April 22, 2005

A couple years back I tried it in both ears to absolutely no effect whatsoever, FWIW.
posted by wsg at 1:36 AM on April 22, 2005

- if
posted by peacay at 1:37 AM on April 22, 2005

You know, Asians have a little ear-picking device for your ear wax. In fact, in some Asian countries, cleaning your ear is part of a barber's haircut routine.

Plus, it's extremely pleasurable.
posted by i8ny3x at 2:07 AM on April 22, 2005

interesting post and discussion, thanks everybody. I read about this for the 1st time in "Choke", too, and until a friend corrected me I thought it was some crazy shit that Palahniuk had made up

what's wrong with q-tips anyway?
posted by matteo at 4:44 AM on April 22, 2005

pecay

shouldn't that be smaller rather than bigger?
posted by johnny novak at 5:31 AM on April 22, 2005

q-tips, when used incorrectly (ie. jammed into your ear) actaully push wax further into your ear and you risk injuring your ear drum.

q-tips are actually designed for the cleaning of the ear outside the ear canal.

My doctor always said put nothing larger than your pinky inside your ear. For most people, a normal amount of wax indicated a healthy, functioning ear. If you have abnormal amounts of ear wax there are alternate means of removing it. See your doctor!
posted by lyam at 5:33 AM on April 22, 2005

They worked beautifully for me. But naysayers, commence.
posted by ghastlyfop at 5:34 AM on April 22, 2005

nothing smaller, that is. My bad.
posted by lyam at 5:41 AM on April 22, 2005

There are less flammable ways of removing ear wax, which is probably where most of the benefit comes from.
posted by smackfu at 6:38 AM on April 22, 2005

Solotoro: try burning an ear candle with the bottom blocked up, just as it would be by being stuck in your ear.

You'll find that if you leave the bottom open (as it would be if the candle is just sitting in a bottle) that the flame will draw air up the candle's hollow centre, and no debris will be deposited.

On the other hand, if you block the bottom before lighting the candle (it makes no difference to the airflow if you do this with a lump of Blu-Tack or by sticking it in your ear) then candlewax vapor and smoke will circulate inside the hollow centre, depositing nasty-looking crap as it condenses on the inside of the candle away from the flame.

If the candle is in your ear, some of that crap will be deposited in your ear canal. The heat of condensation might make the inside of your ear get pleasantly warm, but it will also make it look and smell like the bottom of a burnt ear candle.

If you're using an ear candle and you feel warmth inside your ear, that's absolute proof that the candle isn't sucking anything OUT - it's dumping warm, smoky, waxy vapor IN.

If I want to clean out my ears, I take an empty sports-drink bottle into the shower and use it to squirt warm water gently into my ears. It feels lovely, sounds amazing, and actually removes excess wax rather than depositing more.
posted by flabdablet at 7:04 AM on April 22, 2005

This device does a good job of removing earwax, and when used properly, will not push wax further down the ear. It may be like the implements i8ny3x describes.
posted by zsazsa at 7:14 AM on April 22, 2005

I just can't get into putting a flaming object that close to my hair. Seems like a Darwin Awards incident waiting to happen.
posted by Kellydamnit at 7:35 AM on April 22, 2005

johnny novak....yes...'nothing smaller than a pinky should be shoved in your ear'
posted by peacay at 9:03 AM on April 22, 2005

While we're on the subject, has anyone ever experienced the phenomenon of shooting earwax? No lie, the wax actually fires out of my left ear, as much as the length of my shoulder. It happens about once a month. I can't control it, unfortunately, so there's always the potential for splatting innocent bystanders. The phenomenon began about the time I developed tinitis, after a severe flu.
posted by sixpack at 9:56 AM on April 22, 2005

The irrigation method flabdablet mentions is the one I'm familiar with. It's what your doctor will do if you arrive in his/her office saying "I'm deaf in this ear," and s/he looks and sees it jammed with wax. Gross, but true.
They put in little drops to loosen the wax, which bubble violently in a manner that can be intolerably ticklish. Then they hand you the little kidney-shaped bowl to hold against your head, and they get the horse syringe (without needle) full of warm water and empty it with surprising force into your ear, always leaving enough of a gap at the bottom of the canal through which the forced wax can escape.
It's amazing actually. When it's over, you feel like someone has adjusted the sonic equalization of the world, and everything over 1000Hz has been boosted a couple of decibels. The last time I could hear television flyback (that super high pitched whine that tells you a television is on, even if the sound is off) was after an "irrigation."

...but enough about me. How's that irritable colon of yours?
posted by Pliskie at 10:56 AM on April 22, 2005

Best way to get rid of earwax, in my experience, is repeated rinsing with warm olive oil. After a winter earplug free, the first few weeks of motorcycling always end up with my ears being completely gunked-up. It's the irritation of the plugs, I think.

Sixpack, I sincerely hope you're joking. If not, how gross.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:01 AM on April 22, 2005

johnny novak....yes...'nothing smaller than a pinky should be shoved in your ear'

It's probably also true that nothing bigger than a pinky should be shoved in your ear.

I've been shocked several times when otherwise intelligent people take a very strong stance defending ear-candles. They come off sounding like "The sky is green and the grass is blue. No I won't open my eyes, I don't care what you say. Lalalalalaaa..."
posted by Tubes at 1:25 PM on April 22, 2005

The only thing you should put in your ear is your elbow.

That is, besides the Orotek Loop.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 8:48 PM on April 22, 2005

Nice post, debralee, thanks.
posted by mediareport at 9:10 PM on April 22, 2005

Tsk.

Next, I suppose you'll be telling me that homeopathic medicine is a fraud!
posted by five fresh fish at 11:14 PM on April 22, 2005