Comments on: Once more, with Moonies

Once more, with Moonies

iffley — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 04:57:58 -0800

A tale of marriage and, eventually, sex in the Unification Church. One of Nerve's 'personal essays' section. (much of Nerve may be NSFW)

By: nj_subgenius

nj_subgenius — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 05:44:37 -0800

I {skull and crossbones} this sloppy, solpisistic piece of confessional journalism. Nothing against you iffley. The first night of the ceremony, I arrived at our room in the church-owned hotel at nine. It was on the nineteenth floor, with windows facing the Empire State Building on the east and the Chrysler Building to the south. That would probably be the New Yorker, at 34th St and Eighth Avenue, a long-time Moonie hive. The Empire State Building is to the East, OK, but the Chrysler Building is to the south? Only in her mind. And I {double fucking skull and crossbones} Moonies.

By: klangklangston

klangklangston — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 06:39:39 -0800

In my secret fantasies about cults battling for control of America, it's always the hive-mind Moonies against the pale, grey Scientologists. It's a bit of a shame that this woman ends up in an unstable relationship with some guy who's engaged. But hell, better than a Moonie. (It also always fascinates me how people invent complicated semiotic codes for their rituals, yet often give them very little emotional weight...)

By: oddman

oddman — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 06:56:24 -0800

Derail. klangklangston, secret cult battles is an awesome idea! Have you considered how the Seventh Day Adventists would do? They are fairly hive-minded too, and they've been a around for a lot longer than the Moonies. Christian Scientists? Hare Krishnas? Star Wars Geeks?

By: Captaintripps

Captaintripps — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 06:58:13 -0800

I wonder what happened to her children.

By: Julnyes

Julnyes — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 07:00:31 -0800

well according to the bio about the author at the end - her children live in New York with her.

By: ibeji

ibeji — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 07:03:41 -0800

I wonder about the kids too. Solipsistic maybe and possibly not great journalism, but a fascinating story with a most strange ending... Thanks for the link, iffley.

By: inksyndicate

inksyndicate — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 07:18:53 -0800

That would probably be the New Yorker, at 34th St and Eighth Avenue, a long-time Moonie hive Yeah, it's got to be. A number of members jumped to their deaths from the top floors, during the wild and crazy early years of the movement. You know, the Moon org owns the Hammerstein Ballroom next door. That blows a lot of people away. Her account of the sex is backed up by this document.

By: inksyndicate

inksyndicate — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 07:24:16 -0800

klangklangston, secret cult battles is an awesome idea! Have you considered how the Seventh Day Adventists would do? It's a tough call. The 7th Day Adventists have about 7 million people, so they vastly outnumber the Unification Church. On the other hand, the UC could call on right-wing miltia groups all over the world through its ties to the World Anti-Communist League. Plus they could call for artillery fire from the Washington Times and various Democrat and Republican politicians, who'd be all over the news that night asking why the Adventists are a bunch of religion-hating liberals. But isn't the 7th Day Advent only considered a cult by mainline Christians on the basis of differing doctrine? I mean, they don't use sleep and hunger deprivation and encourage people to separate from their families, or do they?

By: warbaby

warbaby — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 07:28:54 -0800

Spectacularly lacking in self-insight. Of course, that probably goes with joining a mind-control cult in the first place. I like the part where Moon's adopted son beat the crap out of Col. Bo Hi Pak. Comedy gold. Wow. Moonies versus Scientologists. The earth trembles. A derail that is better than the post link. Yay, klanklangston

By: norm

norm — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 07:40:47 -0800

That is one of the most depressing, soul-destroying things I've ever read. But, frankly, I don't see much difference between Moonies and any other Christian sect. The only difference between one's doctrine and the other is the degree to which we're accustomed to the weird things they do.

By: inksyndicate

inksyndicate — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 07:49:38 -0800

But, frankly, I don't see much difference between Moonies and any other Christian sect. Some Christian sects are Moon-like, but honestly, you don't really see the local Lutherans doing business with North Korea, staffing newspaper management with career intelligence officers, and vowing to subjugate American democracy. Cult is of course a relative term.

By: Cassford

Cassford — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 07:51:30 -0800

Norm, try Crime and Punishment, then check your soul again. I don't know if I found it solpisistic, but it was certainly emotionally flat. Has she learned anything since she wrote COPING WITH CUPID (the movie she mentioned): "Three blondes from another planet land on earth to investigate love." If so, I didn't notice it.

By: nj_subgenius

nj_subgenius — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 08:00:56 -0800

inksyndicate! The Hammerstein? My son will puke.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 09:10:13 -0800

Christian Scientists? Hare Krishnas? Star Wars Geeks? The Flintstone Kids -- six million strong and growing!

By: Specklet

Specklet — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 09:51:09 -0800

Jeeeez what a depressing article.

By: Ynoxas

Ynoxas — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 10:25:03 -0800

I love ROU.

By: koeselitz

koeselitz — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 10:38:43 -0800

Man. Unitarians sure are weird.

By: kanewai

kanewai — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 13:17:32 -0800

I'll be having fun thinking about Klangklangston's War the rest of the day. You've got Hare Krishnas, Scientologists, and Unitarians in the cities, but let's not forget the militias and snake handlers out in the countryside. And I'm sure that Opus Dei would have to play a role in this epic battle.

By: Baby_Balrog

Baby_Balrog — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 13:24:45 -0800

yay for koeselitz!

By: inksyndicate

inksyndicate — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 14:42:55 -0800

Not Unitarians...Unification Church. More accurately: "Members of the Family Federation For World Peace."

By: Artifice_Eternity

Artifice_Eternity — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 22:15:51 -0800

You know, the Moon org owns the Hammerstein Ballroom next door. That blows a lot of people away. Wow. Five years ago, my wife and I saw the Pet Shop Boys at the Hammerstein. After the show, we ran into a guy I had gone to film school with in Florida, and his wife -- both Moonies who were living in New Haven, CT. I was slightly surprised that they'd traveled down to NYC for the concert. Now it's making more sense. Free tix? Free room at the New Yorker? I often wonder why the Democrats don't make more of the Republican Party's ties to the Unification Church. It would certainly drive a wedge between the GOP and many of their fundamentalist Christian supporters, who revile the Moonies as an evil cult and a snare of Satan.

By: klangklangston

klangklangston — Sat, 23 Apr 2005 05:58:03 -0800

Seventh Day Adventists are pacifists. Hell, they're even vegetarians. Though they do get points for the "Millions now living will never die" bit. Oh, and also calling the apocalypse for, like, three times now. You wanna look for a third front, it's the Mormons, who strike me as a perfect balance of hive-mind (Jesus, beehive state!) and bizarro ET shit ("Our God is a space God.") But Klang Klangston's War. I like that.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Sat, 23 Apr 2005 12:50:52 -0800

Hmm, what a letdown. For some reason I was expecting that after 3 years of seperation their lovemaking was going to be crazy... Oh well. Also, moonies == evil.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Sat, 23 Apr 2005 13:04:38 -0800

Howcome no one's mentioning the Ralians? Their conquest via clone armies is assured. Plus, all the sex you can handle.