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girlzone!
April 29, 2005 5:41 PM   Subscribe

This ain't your grandma's DIY crafting. (most links NSFW)
posted by heatherann (30 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
I felt a need to share this collection of crocheted vibrator cozies, knitted penises, sewn vulva coin-purses, saucy apparel, and much much more. Do enjoy this short break from debating American politics/Christianity and the boyzone. :)
posted by heatherann at 5:52 PM on April 29, 2005


Ummmmmm, kthnxbye.
posted by Samizdata at 5:53 PM on April 29, 2005


This is good.
posted by drezdn at 5:59 PM on April 29, 2005


I wonder how many crochet projects come about because you just starting making stitches, and you just keep going, and you don't know why you're doing it, and all of a sudden you have a tube. "What is it?" you ask yourself, and laughingly you think, "Well, obviously it's a vibrator cozy," and all your friends agree, and the next thing you know you're sticking googly eyes on it.

Fun projects. I may have go to dig out my hooks.
posted by cacahuete at 6:07 PM on April 29, 2005


Ohh neat!
posted by yodelingisfun at 6:29 PM on April 29, 2005


I particularly liked the willie warmer. ;)
posted by schyler523 at 7:07 PM on April 29, 2005


Freaky-deaky!
posted by ColdChef at 7:32 PM on April 29, 2005


If women who can knit are this randy, I'm in luck.

I'll get sweaters and laid.
posted by NickDouglas at 8:14 PM on April 29, 2005


Excellent post. I'd like a fallopian tube hat and vagina throw pillow!

Reminds me of the "naughty" sunbonnet Sue quilts...which leads me to this stimulating discussion about Kinitting as a Revolutionary Act.

Thanks heatherann.
posted by shimmerglimpse at 8:50 PM on April 29, 2005


"my friend laughed when she saw i'd made this vulva coinpurse with asymmetrical inner labia ("you did it! you made the most political wallet in the universe!").
Hee!
posted by snout at 8:51 PM on April 29, 2005


Okay, one more.
I shared this turorial because i thought they were cool, and i wanted everyone to be able to make their own cunt pillows. I DID NOT SHARE THIS TUTORIAL SO THAT YOU COULD MAKE THEM AND SELL THEM! SO DON'T!
No, ma'am. I WON'T!
posted by snout at 8:56 PM on April 29, 2005


[this is excellent!]
I've seen many of these patterns before, esp. the sewing and knitting ones, but am very happy to see them compiled in one place ...

NickDouglas, you've obviously never talked to a knitter! You don't get a sweater until after she gets a ring, or else you'll break up with her. It's the Curse of the Love Sweater! Ask any knitter.
posted by librarina at 9:18 PM on April 29, 2005


heatherann, these are great! Thanks!
posted by naturesgreatestmiracle at 9:32 PM on April 29, 2005


ack! to many links damn it! every fucking letter is a link. . .

. . . computers scare me! ACK! every letter! to much info! i need fewer links damn you!

ok i may be just a little drunk right now . . . aaahhhh??

i mean . . .nice post :D *thumbs up*

maybe i shouldn't be so confused by all the one letter links. my bad , my bad.
posted by nola at 9:48 PM on April 29, 2005


Oh, my God. Pudding Head.
posted by puddinghead at 9:50 PM on April 29, 2005


Maybe Matt will let me change my name to Vagina Magnet.
posted by puddinghead at 9:51 PM on April 29, 2005


No, wait, that's terrible. So sorry, I'm leaving now.
posted by puddinghead at 9:52 PM on April 29, 2005


When did it become necessary to put a cozy on everything?
posted by drezdn at 10:23 PM on April 29, 2005


Hahaha, my girlfriend sewed me one of those vagina coin purses for Valentine's day...I actually keep Magic the Gathering cards in it. And laugh at the semiotics of the situation because I'm a nerd.
posted by Tesseractive at 10:51 PM on April 29, 2005


Just today, someone asked me if I could do bath fizzies in the shape of a 3d penis, and I had no idea where to find a penis mold...but now I do. Hooray!
posted by dejah420 at 11:31 PM on April 29, 2005


Wow. My ex never told me about that side of Craftster.
posted by VulcanMike at 4:18 AM on April 30, 2005


Tesseractive, that's the best thing I've heard all week. Seriously. So great.
posted by miss tea at 4:44 AM on April 30, 2005


librarina writes "It's the Curse of the Love Sweater! Ask any knitter."

Or you can read about it at Knitty. Sweaters don't come until there's a ring, NickDouglas. Sex, on the other hand...
posted by heatherann at 5:49 AM on April 30, 2005


Marnie Maclean also has some great, sexy goth-type inspired patterns. They may not be penis cozies, but they're still naughty.

http://www.marniemaclean.com/patterns/index.html

Drezdn, clearly you don't knit. If you did, you would understand why EVERYTHING needs a cozy...
posted by Ms Snit at 10:02 AM on April 30, 2005


From a male point of view, i'm just wondering why so many women are making these strange purses in the shape of their erm underparts. Because they just can? Why would you want one?

Okay i'm off to make myself a little button mushroom shaped wallet to keep my one very small key in.
posted by aqueousdan at 1:42 PM on April 30, 2005


From a male point of view, i'm just wondering why so many women are making these strange purses in the shape of their erm underparts. Because they just can? Why would you want one?

Well, a few reasons. There's the whole Vagina Monologues motivation -- reclaiming the vagina as beautiful rather than disgusting. Then there's the rampant misinformation or complete ignorance that a startling number of women have about what's "down there", and things like the vulva coin purse are great tools for educating people who are curious about your interesting-looking accessories. If I ever get to teach a sex ed. class, I'm definitely bringing these things in and passing them around. And then there's the humour aspect. We're girls, we like to make things that are a little naughty and giggle at them.

Oh yeah, and then there's the "the clitoris has twice as much sensation as the penis, boo-yeah!!" motivation. Can't forget that one.

An excerpt from The Vagina Monologues might explain the need for celebration and symbol-making:
I first glimpsed the spirit of self-knowledge and freedom that you will find in these pages when I lived in India for a couple of years after college. In Hindu temples and shrines I saw the lingam, an abstract male genital symbol, but I also saw the yoni, a female genital symbol, for the first time: a flowerlike shape, triangle, or double-pointed oval. I was told that thousands of years ago, this symbol had been worshiped as more powerful than its male counterpart, a belief that carried over into Tantrism, whose central tenet is man's inability to reach spiritual fulfillment except through sexual and emotional union with woman's superior spiritual energy. It was a belief so deep and wide that even some of the woman-excluding, monotheistic religions that came later retained it in their traditions, although such beliefs were (and still are) marginalized or denied as heresies by mainstream religious leaders.

For example: Gnostic Christians worshiped Sophia as the female Holy Spirit and considered Mary Magdalene the wisest of Christ's disciples; Tantric Buddhism still teaches that Buddhahood resides in the vulva; the Sufi mystics of Islam believe that fana, or rapture, can be reached only through Fravahi, the female spirit; the Shekina of Jewish mysticism is a version of Shakti, the female soul of God; and even the Catholic church included forms of Mary worship that focused more on the Mother than on the Son. In many countries of Asia, Africa, and other parts of the world where gods are still depicted in female as well as in male forms, altars feature the Jewel in the Lotus and other representations of the Lingam-in-the-yoni. In India, the Hindu goddesses Durga and Kali are embodiments of the yoni powers of birth and death, creation and destruction.
posted by heatherann at 5:25 PM on April 30, 2005


Whatever. After going through several cozies I can tell you conclusively that they don't work. My penis is still cold.
posted by saysthis at 12:12 AM on May 1, 2005


I love vagina as much as the next man but there is something about imagining seeing a girl waving her pussy coinpurse about in a crowd. It just doesn't seem necessary. It seems like more of the "i'm part of a new trend that makes me cooler than you" thing than anything, sorry. I'm all for people doing crafty stuff though so I give it a thumbs up for that.

Oh yeah, and then there's the "the clitoris has twice as much sensation as the penis, boo-yeah!!" motivation. Can't forget that one.

Not sure why that would make you want to make a purse in the shape of your vagina. My penis has more sensation than a finger nail therefore i'm going to make a pair of trousers with big veiny phalluses as legs and a hat that resembles a poorly stitched pair of testicles.
posted by aqueousdan at 2:50 AM on May 2, 2005


My penis has more sensation than a finger nail therefore i'm going to make a pair of trousers with big veiny phalluses as legs and a hat that resembles a poorly stitched pair of testicles.

ha!

you must follow through on this project.
posted by mdn at 6:10 AM on May 2, 2005


I think the spirit with which these things get created is being overlooked a little bit here. Most crafts fall strictly into what is considered the "feminized" zone and have been devalued and discarded as such. For modern women to re-visit these crafts, regardless of what they make, is for them to take back a piece of their grandmother's and great-grandmother's history.

That women are making penis cozies and vagina purses is probably more indicative of our PoMo culture and perhaps even just a desire to stretch what you can actually knit and crochet. There are only so many sweater and scarf patterns that can be devised in a bubble. After that, it's pretty much same-ole, same-ole. So, these modern cozies and coin purses just add a little variation to some age old themes....
posted by Ms Snit at 8:29 AM on May 2, 2005


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