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Of course, no one is going to leave the orgy.
May 1, 2005 6:48 PM   Subscribe

Most people want to have group sex, but more or less conscious mental barriers stop them. Help them. (no images or anything, but may not be safe for work if your boss doesn't want you organizing an orgy. your co-workers, on the other hand...)
posted by exlotuseater (54 comments total)

 
Group sex is one of those things that's good on paper but probably dosen't work out in reality. It'd be like going to an all you can eat buffet, where you feel pressure to try some of every dish simply because it's there.

Plus, you have to make so many more phone calls the next day...
posted by jonmc at 6:54 PM on May 1, 2005


If someone contacts you to tell you that they are not coming, they show that they are interested enough to talk about it. They probably really want to go and just need you to persuade them.


Um, no. And it sounds a bit too much like evangelism.
posted by bingo at 6:56 PM on May 1, 2005


metafilter: Do as you like. Join us, or spend the rest of your life wondering about what could have happened if you had the courage to do it.
posted by ashbury at 6:58 PM on May 1, 2005


metafilter: What do you got to lose? I mean, you can just leave the orgy metafilter if you don’t like it.
posted by ashbury at 6:59 PM on May 1, 2005


I had a quick look over at MeTa, but couldn't find the accompanying Meetup thread- what gives?
posted by hwickline at 7:00 PM on May 1, 2005


I thought the ad on the side of that page said "stop Unicef".
posted by tomplus2 at 7:02 PM on May 1, 2005


Bad advice and a cult. Good work.
posted by Captaintripps at 7:04 PM on May 1, 2005


Whatever, this link is awesome and hilarious. My favorite quote:

If the weather is nice, you can of course have an orgy in the nature, and this may give an extra touch of savage, primitive energy. Cold temperature, however, may destroy everything.
posted by josh at 7:05 PM on May 1, 2005



Um, no. And it sounds a bit too much like evangelism.


[minor tangent]

Tonight on Cold Case the episode centered around a psycho raised in a super-religious family who murdered a guy after attending the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I mentioned to Pips that I found the atmosphere at RHPS and Pentecostal religious services to be remarkably similar (I've attended both) in many ways (and extremely different in many others); the sense of release, the idea of being in a community of like-minded people, the jumping around and writing and the call and response performance. And the sense of being "initiated," of recieveing "revelation," for lack of a better word.

I imagine the orgy acolytes feel something similar about their scene. I remember this book called The Art Of Loving that my 10th grade English teacher had us read, that had a chapter about how human being's ultimate instinct is to try to bridge the "separateness" between us and cites "orgiastic rites," (like concerts, sporting events, and I imagine RHPS and actual orgies [and some religious services] would qualify).

Just a thought.
posted by jonmc at 7:06 PM on May 1, 2005


Yeah! What's with all the orgies I go to where, just as everyone's nekkid' and fondling each other, someone jumps up and shouts "Nope! Sorry!! Just can't do this!! Everyone, I'm sorry, but can you please all leave.."

Even when it works out fine with dual pairs?

Some people are just too overexcitable, I guess...
posted by Balisong at 7:08 PM on May 1, 2005


Group sex is like public nudity -- the ones who like it aren't usually the ones you want to see doing it.
posted by clevershark at 7:11 PM on May 1, 2005


I love the ad at the bottom of the page:

posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 7:11 PM on May 1, 2005


I went to Oberlin during a rather pleasant golden age of orgies. These events were OK if a little "busy," but I must say that most of the advice on that page sounds like the opposite of the truth, at least in my experience. A sweet, unfrantic, affectionate menage à trois, however, can be quite the thing. Tough to find just the right balances and synchronizations of desire and open-mindedness, but worth looking for at least once in life.
posted by digaman at 7:20 PM on May 1, 2005


too much alcohol can destroy everything

Indeed.
posted by felix betachat at 7:23 PM on May 1, 2005


digaman, you must've gone through a lotta cigarettes what with all those extra post-coital smokes...

too much alcohol can destroy everything

blasphemer.
posted by jonmc at 7:25 PM on May 1, 2005


Steve_at_Linwood caught my favorite part of the article in his screenshot:

"A warning: Group sex is immoral..."

But don't let that stop you, and don't let that dissuade you from trying to convince others to join in. Just give them liquor. Also, the ad at the bottom was different for me.
posted by dammitjim at 7:34 PM on May 1, 2005


jonmc: I've never been to a pentecostal service, but I admit that the sort of events you're describing as 'orgiastic rites' don't appeal to me in general...even if I like the idea of the thing (as in the case of Rocky Horror), the second time around I'm usually bored.

I would rather have a harem than an orgy. Nothing wrong with general licentiousness, but I'm not into this 'letting go of your individualism' stuff.
posted by bingo at 7:36 PM on May 1, 2005


even if I like the idea of the thing (as in the case of Rocky Horror), the second time around I'm usually bored....but I'm not into this 'letting go of your individualism' stuff.

As I recall, the book said something to the effect that using "orgiastic" rites was a dead end since it ultimately forces you into further separateness to try and replicate the experience. (not that this has stopped from enjoying them on occasion, I'll never forget some random guy and me spontaneously singing "Beat on The Brat," into eachothers faces at a Ramones show).

But the "letting go of individualism" identifies the rub, we want that connection, that transcendence, but we don't want to lose ourselves. Maybe that's the special insanity that is the human condition.
posted by jonmc at 7:40 PM on May 1, 2005


I found the atmosphere at RHPS and Pentecostal religious services to be remarkably similar in many ways

I once spent half an hour explaining to my cousin's mentor in Campus Crusade for Christ that attending RHPS wasn't actually engaging in Satanism, because Frank N. Furter was a Christ figure. To her credit, she listened, but wasn't persuaded.

As to orgies, I've never been (although I've known people who have), but this article strikes me as exactly the kind of advice that will make people hate themselves the next day.
posted by dhartung at 8:09 PM on May 1, 2005


I like orgies. In fact, I'm at one as we speak.
posted by sharksandwich at 8:11 PM on May 1, 2005


Looks like you're one of those non-participating types the article warned us about. Just grab a drink and back away from the keyboard...
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:22 PM on May 1, 2005


Maybe that's the special insanity that is the human condition.

Metafilter: jonmc has isolated the human condition.
posted by bingo at 8:22 PM on May 1, 2005


Here in Georgia, people just come up to me all the time on the street and ask about orgies. It's driving me insane. I just hope they don't start mixing their love of orgies with their politics.
posted by raysmj at 8:43 PM on May 1, 2005


Metafilter has all the makings for setting some great group sex if we would just use this website properly.
posted by Arch Stanton at 8:43 PM on May 1, 2005


I want to orgy with all of you. Which ones are female again?
posted by jonson at 9:00 PM on May 1, 2005


Can you guys use Flickr next time?
posted by AlexReynolds at 9:02 PM on May 1, 2005


-When you are old and think back to your life, do you think you will be happy about not participating in an orgy when you had the chance?

Now that's a pickup line.
posted by SisterHavana at 9:04 PM on May 1, 2005


As I recall, the book said something to the effect that using "orgiastic" rites was a dead end since it ultimately forces you into further separateness to try and replicate the experience. (not that this has stopped from enjoying them on occasion, I'll never forget some random guy and me spontaneously singing "Beat on The Brat," into eachothers faces at a Ramones show).

And that is probably why I've never completely gotten into the live music scene. It's very hard, if not impossible, for me to 'lose myself'. (Eminem reference unintentional.)

Um, not to derail this thread into seriousness or anything. Point me to the hot chicks.
posted by blacklite at 9:13 PM on May 1, 2005


Hysterical.
posted by Muffpub at 9:17 PM on May 1, 2005


S@L, I found the Creative Commons logo a bit more amusing, myself. Public domain, indeed.
posted by fatllama at 9:49 PM on May 1, 2005


am I a happy cow?
posted by nanojath at 10:17 PM on May 1, 2005


sharksandwich: 'this email sent from my BlackBerry handheld'
posted by anthill at 10:33 PM on May 1, 2005


Public domain, indeed.

Share, and share alike!
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 10:44 PM on May 1, 2005


digaman: Oberlin is still trying to maintain the group sex tradition -- last year saw "the orgy," which was some sort of invitation-only event of mostly Connies (students at the Conservatory of Music, who are somewhat more attractive and infinitely less tolerable than students at the College) that apparently worked out well for all involved.

My understanding is that the main problem is scheduling...
posted by Ptrin at 10:51 PM on May 1, 2005


You should try to make the modern sex orgy an aesthetic event, to avoid the porn feeling.

Ah, yes. The porn feeling will get you every time.
posted by corbinamman at 11:10 PM on May 1, 2005


Metafilter: No one is going to leave the orgy.

Interesting little article, though - if I were to organize an orgy, which I'm not because the idea is distasteful to me, these would be the guidelines I would use. Sounds like to have to buy into a lot of junk to really be in it, though. I feel like the whole time I would be staring at one (or two) girls, thinking "if only I could get that one alone..."
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:27 PM on May 1, 2005


Gay orgies aren't like this.
posted by WolfDaddy at 11:42 PM on May 1, 2005


I knew I should have gone to Oberlin.
posted by luckywanderboy at 11:49 PM on May 1, 2005


Dammit, that last paragraph really kills the mood.

I've noticed that religious Mob Mentality, too, in several circumstances that don't involve religion directly. RHPS, definitely, as well as concerts and meme-driven swarming events. If I could get that with sex I'd probably get addicted.
posted by limnrix at 1:08 AM on May 2, 2005


Maybe limnrix but are you sure?

It is math time!

Religious Mob Mentality + Sex = ?
A. 3084
B. Good Times
C. -3084
D. Disaster
E. None of the Above.
posted by TwelveTwo at 3:00 AM on May 2, 2005


Man, this is the creepiest thing I've read in a while.
posted by Josh Zhixel at 5:03 AM on May 2, 2005


According to some of Oberlin's Flaming Blades, the Tent of Consent is quite the event.
posted by sciurus at 5:12 AM on May 2, 2005


Think I'm too into the one on one for this (or two on one...) Kinda like chess. In a sense you have to dig the whole sensual pleasure thing. I suppose my ego is such that I enjoy showing off and orgies don't seem conducive to that.
I suppose I'm with jonmc on this. I prefer the focus & the connection without loss of individuality. I suppose if I were more of a team player.... but you have your bricks & your distance hitters, you need your loners too.
I suppose if it were a group I identified intensely with it would work, but you'd need a more unifying factor than just the sensuality itself. Otherwise it's simply decadance. Not that I want to get into morality here, but I suppose depth of experiance is superior to breadth (for some folks I don't want to get in anyones face here).
And I'm not really saying I wouldn't join in (short term), but I don't see anything in the article on how to get a van or lay shag carpeting....
posted by Smedleyman at 7:02 AM on May 2, 2005


Group sex can be very intoxicating and not just a little addicting, but unless you have the right friends with the right mindset, it is probably one of those situations where it is better *not* to be friends with the other people involved. For this reason, complete safety is an absolute necessity.

"Public domain, indeed. Share, and share alike!"

Are you talking about free love as in "free beer", or "free speech"?!
posted by insomnia_lj at 7:06 AM on May 2, 2005


raysmj: Here in Georgia, people just come up to me all the time on the street and ask about orgies. It's driving me insane. I just hope they don't start mixing their love of orgies with their politics.

Clearly, I haven't been giving my brothers and sisters to the south enough credit.

WolfDaddy: Gay orgies aren't like this.

Care to elaborate, for the benefit of those of us who haven't yet been properly...err...initiated?
posted by ChrisTN at 7:10 AM on May 2, 2005


Not sure why this article stresses "deindividuation" so much. Nobody goes into group events with the intent of "losing" one self. Like most situations that call for uninhibited sharing, e.g. combat and young families, you often find out who (what) you really are in such situations. As for the ritualistic nature of such events, it's largely just window dressing. People need structure; if there's no path up the mountain most people won't climb it. The ceremonial aspects at such events shouldn't be over-analyzed since they're largely just there to comfort the repressed and inexperienced.
posted by nixerman at 7:21 AM on May 2, 2005


Metafilter: no one is going to leave the orgy.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 7:54 AM on May 2, 2005


I'm glad to hear that certain traditions are still being upheld at my dear old alma mater. (Knowing Oberlin, someone has probably insisted on equal time for the phrase alma pater or something.)

But I must take exception to this:

...students at the Conservatory of Music, who are somewhat more attractive and infinitely less tolerable than students at the College...

I'll take a bongload of shaggy Chomsky-quoting tops over a gaggle of gossipy organ-majoring bottoms any day. And did, back in the day. But maybe things have changed.
posted by digaman at 8:12 AM on May 2, 2005


Tent of Consent is quite the event

Dr Seuss?!
posted by theorique at 8:52 AM on May 2, 2005


I have never tried group sex. I thought it meant having sex with someone other than yourself.
posted by Postroad at 9:18 AM on May 2, 2005


I am an Orgy of One.
posted by 23skidoo at 11:26 AM on May 2, 2005


I am intrigued to know ... in what way(s) is group sex immoral?
posted by kaemaril at 11:44 AM on May 2, 2005


This is absolutely awful advice. This very clearly does come from someone who has an idea of group sex being immoral, being as it's all about engaging in Machiavellian plots to get people to participate.

Plus it doesn't tell you anything you need to know in terms of safety (re: STDs and pregnancy) and consent. It's all well and good to try and convince people at the time that they are entering into a strange and lawless land but the fact of the matter is YOU'RE NOT. I doubt any court will uphold the idea that by going to an orgy you are automatically consenting to sex with every person there, and your ovaries also won't listen to the party's organizers, and neither will any viruses or bacteria that may be looking for a new home.

This looks like a great HOWTO on "Get invited onto Jerry Springer", "keep trial lawyers in business", or "Hey, always wanted an STD? Here's how!"


And this has absolutely no connection to group sex, sex, or groups, really, but I think the next person who tries to group eyeglasses with jewelry as an unnecessary accessory should have their eyes gouged out. Then they'll have an idea what life is like for me without that little bit of jewelry.
posted by dagnyscott at 3:48 PM on May 2, 2005


Care to elaborate, for the benefit of those of us who haven't yet been properly...err...initiated?

It's usually one gay boy and a lot of straight boys. Shhh.
posted by WolfDaddy at 5:25 PM on May 2, 2005


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