So if you're lonely, you know I'm here waiting for you

May 5, 2005 5:44 PM

No Longer Lonely -- Online Dating For the Mentally IllMembership is reserved solely for those with a diagnosis of schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, bipolar disorder, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, personality disorder, post-traumatic disorder, or disassociative disorder, or eating disorder. If you ARE unsure if you qualify please contact the webmaster.

Some groovy benefits they tout:
* Never have to worry again about disclosure of your condition
* No need to hide those pill bottles
* Never again have to explain your erratic work experience
* No more stigma-induced disappointments
* Finding someone who can really understand your struggles and accomplishments

Since JDate is not just for Jews any more, perhaps (despite the requests not to) there will be a run on this site for those aren't part of the mental illness community.
I'm sure all of us have an ex that we might politely term "mentally ill"- we could find more like 'em on a site like this, or avoid 'em in future if we knew they were dating amongst themselves? Maybe there should be an enabler category?
My 2nd FPP and my 2nd about unusual online dating. I don't know why that is.
posted by stevil (22 comments total)

Hmm - I guess I put too much text in the front page part, and shoulda saved some for my first comment, here. Sorry 'bout that everyone.
posted by stevil at 5:48 PM on May 5, 2005

I've always wondered if the Russian Mail Order bride thing was legitimate.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 5:48 PM on May 5, 2005

They can rule out the Multiple Personality Disorder people, since they're never alone, anyway.
posted by jonmc at 6:08 PM on May 5, 2005

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Why do people do that?

While I can see why this is something that some see as a "good thing", it smacks to me of reverse discrimination and confirms the concept that those with a mental illness need to be separated from the crowd and are in some way tainted when it comes to choosing a partner. I no like.
posted by dg at 6:11 PM on May 5, 2005

So cool... the pickings at the Food Stamp office are getting pretty slim. All that welfare to work nonsense has been cramping my style.

Lurking about the battered womans shelter only got me a restraining order and the domestic violence hotline turned down my volunteer application. The AA meetings didn't go well either... who would have thought that when big ass bikers quit drinking they only got angrier (and stronger)?

Thanks for the link, see ya in 3.5-7 years.
posted by cedar at 6:12 PM on May 5, 2005

There's always the Home For the Blind, dude.
posted by jonmc at 6:16 PM on May 5, 2005

Bi-polar, depression, eating disorders. These terms get tossed around so much that I suspect that the site may get flooded with people who are regular enough to not need to use the site at all.
posted by 23skidoo at 6:17 PM on May 5, 2005

Nice FF reference, stevil.
posted by shoepal at 8:41 PM on May 5, 2005

You could divide the group of people known as 'mentally disordered' into two sub-groups - those who are disabled by their disorder (who've got it really seriously) and those who have got it, but still manage to function. There is no shortage of the latter on the conventional dating services. It probably is very lonely for people in the former category, however, who do have issues that make them 'different' and this sort of thing might work out nicely for some of them. And then there is this sort of group in the middle who kinda are disabled by their disorders (whatever they may be), but where it's not obvious to anyone until you've spent some time with them (e.g., until you're already in a reasonably substantial relationship with them). I'm including the narcissists and borderlines and hystrionics in this middle group (well - they don't call that list the "dramatic/erratic" sub-group of personality disorders for nothing). It's very hard to sustain a relationship with someone who falls in this middle group. However, I've known some schizophrenic people who were perfectly sweet (if crazy).
posted by sirvesa at 8:53 PM on May 5, 2005

Many years ago I associated "crazy" with "desirable", thanks to girlfriends that were both. I wonder if I would have been tempted to use this service then.

Working on myself to break this association was very difficult, and one of the wisest moves I ever made.
posted by Aknaton at 9:42 PM on May 5, 2005

Well said, sirvesa.
posted by krash2fast at 9:56 PM on May 5, 2005

Nice FF reference, stevil.

What's the reference?
posted by jonson at 10:18 PM on May 5, 2005

JDate's not just for Members of the Tribe anymore?! Holy Moses and amen!!

No more trolling for dates here! See ya later, suckers!
posted by orthogonality at 10:23 PM on May 5, 2005

Great. Now I can just cut through all the crap and find an endless supply of people that act like all my ex's.

Technology at it's best.
posted by Samizdata at 1:21 AM on May 6, 2005

Ha. I thought along the same lines as Samizdata, but was too polite to say it. Hmm, I must be coming down with something.
posted by dg at 2:46 AM on May 6, 2005

My 3 kids go to a community school that mixes classes with half mentors ("normal") and the other half afflicted with various flavors of mental illni. No one wears a label and personal disclosure is at the option of each child.
My oldest, 13, falls into the latter category: BiPolar, Autistic (Alsperger's) with a light sprinkling of OCD. Plus Acute Shyness. Tonight is the school dance, his first. He's not taking a date, probably for all the reasons stated in the link, or maybe it wouldn't be fair to the teacher (we suspect) he has a crush on. So he's going stag and packing dad's cameras to document the event.
I cannot wait to see this video. Every kid rockin out to the beat of a different drummer. Sort of a square dance with more than one caller. OCDs trying to lead. BiPolars in the mosh pit. My wife, a chaperone will have to decide on the spot whether a student is having an episode... or just dancing.
posted by hal9k at 3:56 AM on May 6, 2005

I know a great place for them to advertise this service. {Fox News}
posted by nofundy at 5:21 AM on May 6, 2005

Hmm, yeah I'd worry that creepy guys who want easy-to-manipulate people to manipulate are going to have a feild day.

Oh well.
posted by delmoi at 8:54 AM on May 6, 2005

What a group of biased people we have here.

There are plenty of people who interact well enough in the real world, and are able to do so because they fill their prescriptions every month. You all probably know quite a few; it is simply that they have not disclosed their mental health status to you because they don't want to deal with your misunderstanding. Some of them are your lawyers, doctors and teachers.

I do have one misgiving about a site like this-since many of these type illnesses are hereditary, a child of, say, two bipolars has a much increased risk of having the disorder.

Replace the word mentally ill with the racial term of your choice, then go back and look at what you wrote, folks.
posted by konolia at 9:11 AM on May 6, 2005

I showed this link to a mildly bipolar friend of mine, and her first reaction was "Oh my god, why don't they just paint targets on us?"

What she was getting at, and I think I agree with her, is that this, unfortunately, could easily become a fertile hunting ground for predatory types who are interested in finding someone with extremely low self esteem to take advantage of.
posted by dersins at 10:47 AM on May 6, 2005

jonson - the post title is a lyric from Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand
posted by stevil at 12:58 PM on May 6, 2005

I'm sure all of us have an ex that we might politely term "mentally ill"- we could find more like 'em on a site like this, or avoid 'em in future if we knew they were dating amongst themselves? Maybe there should be an enabler category?

The other potentially sinister use of this site is to post someone that you broke up with and whom you feel NEEDS to be on the site. Like subscribing your crotchety old neighbor, the one who glares at you every day when you leave the house, to the NAMBLA newsletter.
posted by deusdiabolus at 12:01 AM on May 7, 2005