Who is the real Bob Saget?

May 6, 2005 12:03 PM

Who is the real Bob Saget?• "In comedy circles, there’s a famous Saget story about the night his first daughter was born. After a very difficult birth, during which Sherri Saget and her baby almost died, a friend showed up to find Mr. Saget looking utterly destroyed, unshaven, unrecognizable, but holding his newborn. Oh my God, Bob, she’s beautiful, the friend said. For a dollar, you can finger her, Mr. Saget replied." Saget guests in the upcoming Aristocrats documentary discussed here.
posted by dhoyt (55 comments total)

Rather, the joke was discussed previously, not the documentary.
posted by dhoyt at 12:09 PM on May 6, 2005

My opinion of Bob Saget changed with a single line:

"Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana? "
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 12:20 PM on May 6, 2005

I take back everything I've ever said or thought about Saget.
posted by RockCorpse at 12:28 PM on May 6, 2005

Here's the wav file, probably NSFW
posted by Meaney at 12:30 PM on May 6, 2005

I still consider the SNL "ass nipples weiner" bit to be one of the funniest things ever shown on television.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 12:35 PM on May 6, 2005

as much of a tool that he was on Full House, he was pretty damn funny on America's Funniest Home Videos.

way better than the schmuck doing the show now.
posted by tsarfan at 12:41 PM on May 6, 2005

Y'know, I've gotta agree with the fan in the article. I really hated Bob Saget.

I'm looking forward to The Aristocrats.
posted by graventy at 12:43 PM on May 6, 2005

Does Mary Kate and Ashley know he talks this way?

Is Bob Saget Satan?

Is Bob Saget Dios?

Opinions differ. More at 11.
posted by nofundy at 12:47 PM on May 6, 2005

The Rodney Dangerfield stories at the end of the first article are beautiful.

“I show up at his place, and Rodney’s naked in his bathrobe,” Mr. Saget said.

“He’s always naked in his bathrobe with his balls hanging out. He goes, ‘Bob, you didn’t call to confirm. I got Ron Jeremy coming up with two hookers.’”

Mr. Saget wasn’t too keen about meeting the porn star. “I said, ‘Rodney, I really don’t want to see Ron Jeremy and I don’t want to see hookers. No offense—I’m sure he’s a lovely man.’”
posted by iron chef morimoto at 12:53 PM on May 6, 2005

Anybody able to find an Aristocrats trailer?
posted by hootch at 12:55 PM on May 6, 2005

Iron Chef, you have to include the punch line to that story:

Dangerfield walked him out, apologizing profusely.

“I say, ‘That’s O.K. I’m O.K., Rodney, it’s fine—don’t worry about it. How are you doing?’ And Rodney says, ‘You want to know how I’m doing? You’re leaving, and I’m waiting up here alone for a guy who can suck his own cock—that’s how I’m doing.’

posted by psmealey at 12:59 PM on May 6, 2005

You know a lot of the Hollywood people—and this pissed me off so much—would say, ‘Oh, your movie’s fine in the blue states, but what about in the red states, where you get to the stupid people?’ And I would say, ‘Oh, by ‘stupid people’ you mean people who can program a machine, fix cars and perform surgeries? As opposed to we who are in Hollywood, who can’t do fucking anything?’

Penn slays me.
posted by rush at 1:01 PM on May 6, 2005

I thought the punchline was Bob Saget walking in on Rodney Dangerfield naked from the waist down. Anything after just seems anti-climactic.
posted by iron chef morimoto at 1:09 PM on May 6, 2005

Bob Saget's guest role on Huff was awesome. He plays this TV star (in a show remarkably similar to Full House) who is totally wacked out on coke and heroine. Really, Full House was so outside the norm for Saget that it's a shame that is how most people know him.

Oh, and he was a tool on AFHV too. Less of a tool than the current guy, but still a tool.
posted by antifuse at 1:10 PM on May 6, 2005

You go to a restaurant with Saget and before he orders food, he’ll be talking to the waitress about fucking his daughters in the ass.

I like dirty comics, but that makes him sound like an annoying shock jock-wannabe. Zzzzz.
posted by fungible at 1:12 PM on May 6, 2005

Have fun at Bob Saget

No, it's Bob Seger.....awwww....crap...
posted by jonah at 1:19 PM on May 6, 2005

I like dirty comics, but that makes him sound like an annoying shock jock-wannabe.

I was amused at your choice of "shock jock" given the quote from Carlin in the second link:

Carlin mentions how people are always decrying comedians who use dirty words for "shock value," but then he observes that "'shock' is just an upscale word for 'surprise,' and a joke is all about surprise." Surprise is, ultimately, the very essence of comedy. You laugh because you didn't see it coming. If you saw it coming, you don't laugh. Call it surprise, call it shock, either way, the point is the same.
posted by jperkins at 1:25 PM on May 6, 2005

Is Bob Saget Dios?

Dude. Seriously. Get the fuck over yourself.
posted by Cyrano at 1:33 PM on May 6, 2005

My mother, a psych nurse, was convinced that Stephen King had a treatable mental illness, based on his compulsion to write such dark tales at such a prolific pace. Though I have no background in psychiatry, I feel the same way about Saget, after reading that article
posted by BigLankyBastard at 1:41 PM on May 6, 2005

Dare I disagree with George Fuckin' Carlin, but I don't think a joke is all about surprise. I think a joke is about making you see something in a way you didn't before, that makes you realize the absurdity, contrast or hypocrisy. Talking about having butt sex with my daughter does not do that.
posted by fungible at 4:13 PM on May 6, 2005

BigLankyBastard and fungible both said:

blahblahblahblahblah

It must be awfully chilly under those wet blankets.
posted by shmegegge at 4:16 PM on May 6, 2005

I've always thought British comedy was all about breaking taboos of all kinds, not necessarily simply by being lewd and offensive, but also illogical, confusing and bizarre.

However if sheer obscenity floats your boat, I highly recommend Derek and Clive.
posted by snoktruix at 4:17 PM on May 6, 2005

Can I have violent butt sex with shmegegge? Wouldn't that be hilarious?
posted by fungible at 4:27 PM on May 6, 2005

shmegegge wins.
posted by wolftrouble at 4:29 PM on May 6, 2005

Yeah, but look at the prize.
posted by FYKshun at 4:33 PM on May 6, 2005

I have no idea where I heard this, but I remember some comedian talking about how dirty Saget is, and that his favourite joke is:

I met this girl that I'm just nuts over. Seriously, she's 3 feet tall.
posted by mzanatta at 5:02 PM on May 6, 2005

"Talking about having butt sex with my daughter does not do that."

Um...unless the waitress is a man, I would think "his daughter" would refer to Saget's daughter, not yours. I'm just saying...
posted by scottreynen at 5:14 PM on May 6, 2005

Oh, and he was a tool on AFHV too. Less of a tool than the current guy, but still a tool.

They still make that show?
posted by angry modem at 5:44 PM on May 6, 2005

Is Bob Sagat Dio?
posted by cosmonaught at 5:46 PM on May 6, 2005

They still make that show?
Yes, and embarrassingly enough, I watch it. And laugh. HAHA, look at that dog running into the screen door, HAHAH, look at that baby with all the frosting all over it's head. ::shrugs:: It's a fun ending to a long, boring work weekend.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:53 PM on May 6, 2005 [1 favorite has favorites]

My mother, a psych nurse, was convinced that Stephen King had a treatable mental illness, based on his compulsion to write such dark tales at such a prolific pace.

Actually, he was just whacked out on coke.
posted by bshort at 10:05 PM on May 6, 2005

fungible writes:

Can I have violent butt sex with shmegegge? Wouldn't that be hilarious?

I laughed.
posted by shmegegge at 10:14 PM on May 6, 2005

snoktruix writes:

I've always thought British comedy was all about breaking taboos of all kinds, not necessarily simply by being lewd and offensive, but also illogical, confusing and bizarre.

However if sheer obscenity floats your boat, I highly recommend Derek and Clive.

I guess it's a matter of what would be considered "sheer obscenity."

When an article asks people to talk about how Bob Saget was one of the bluest of the blue comics, they'll give you examples of the obscenity. If you were to ask them to talk about how he was funny, they'd give you more context and deliver the jokes properly, if they could remember far enough back to remember them in the first place.

I think one of the weaknesses of that article is that it focuses too much on the dirty and not enough on the dirty funny. With the exception of the joke about fingering his daughter on the day she was born. I was at work when I read it, and I laughed my ass off for minutes almost uncontrollably. (I work alone and at night.) The reason for it is that I was completely shocked by what he said. I mean, about his own daughter... and that's on the day he welcomes her into the world... and THAT'S what he thinks of?! I tend to be on the extremely liberal side of liberal when it comes to taboos in expression ESPECIALLY regarding humor, and I was completely stunned. But that's why I was laughing. Laughter is one of the ways (healthiest way, imo) we deal with discomfort and anxiety. Because of that, jokes like that help us deal with our own weakness and insecurity, and that's a good thing. I think THAT'S what comedy is largely "about."

You don't HAVE to like it, but it's not INTRINSICALLY wrong or unfunny, either.

also, see a (somewhat) related comment by yours truly here.

Now, I agree that a lot of British comedy tends to be the way you described, but i think that's a tendency, not a rule. As it falls under the larger umbrella of just plain old comedy, I think what I just laid out also applies to it.
posted by shmegegge at 10:30 PM on May 6, 2005

Fungible: "Dare I disagree with George Fuckin' Carlin, but I don't think a joke is all about surprise. I think a joke is about making you see something in a way you didn't before, that makes you realize the absurdity, contrast or hypocrisy. Talking about having butt sex with my daughter does not do that."

Uhm... If a joke makes you see something in a new way. A way you didn't see things before, isn't that the essence of surprise? Or maybe I'm missing something here. After a fashion I agree with ya Fungi, but for example, me having butt sex with your daughter CAN be funny. For you it'd be tragic that it was me of all people having butt sex with your daughter. For me it'd be tragic after you got your gun out and shot my butt off, but to people OUTSIDE THE SITUATION, it'd be funny. Hence the term "situation comedy."

As I type this I'm watching an old Abbot & Costello film. I've seen it before I think, or maybe it's that I've seen other ones and so this looks familiar but not entirely. If I've seen it before it was a long time ago. But my point is, I know what's coming. I'm aware of where the doubletakes and the prat falls and Costello's blatant fourth-wall-breaking stares into the camera. They do a bit with a shovel and a pick which is a blatant ripoff of their own Who's On First schtick ("I said take your pick you took the shovel!" "Well the shovel is my pick!"). Yet still I laugh. I'm not suprised by any of it, but I still think it's funny.

Surprise is an element to comedy, but it's not the essence of it. With all due respect paid to George Fucking Carlin.

Saget's a nice guy, and a tool, and a dirty comic, and a good husband & father, and an asshole. He's all those things and other things probably. He's a guy. Shows like Full House or AFV were just to pay the bills. I'm reminded of the scene in the movie Sneakers where Ben Kingsley (Cosmo) tells Robert Redford (Bishop) he works for the mob, then starts talking about how he's gonna save humanity from itself.

Cosmo: Pollution. Crime. Drugs, poverty, disease, hunger, despair - we throw GOBS of money at them and problems only get worse. Why is that? Because money's most powerful ability is to allow bad people to continue doing bad things at the expense of those who don't have it.
Bishop: I agree. Now who did you say you were working for?
Cosmo: Oh, that's just my day job.
posted by ZachsMind at 10:52 PM on May 6, 2005

Zachsmind, can I have your baby?
u gotta promise not to finger her though!
posted by ramix at 11:10 PM on May 6, 2005

One of the most important things about The Aristocrats is, when Saget is getting so filthy-dirty, he has no worry,” he said. “We live in a country where we do have freedom of speech. This movie is just a pure dream of Thomas Jefferson, in that it’s a hundred people saying anything that pops into their head, with no fear whatsoever.

Amen.
posted by docpops at 11:29 PM on May 6, 2005

I don't care if Saget's a dirty old man, he can say whatever he wants. I guess my problem is this: Nothing's shocking anymore. And when I hear someone trying to shock me, without any wit or substance, I get bored. That's all.

The "nuts over" joke is funny, though. See? That's a joke. Maybe he's not so bad after all.
posted by fungible at 11:47 PM on May 6, 2005

as much of a tool that he was on Full House, he was pretty damn funny on America's Funniest Home Videos.

I think I just went blind.
posted by justgary at 12:23 AM on May 7, 2005

I never watched Full House, thought it was laugh-track-crap, and only occasionally saw AFHW (also laugh-track crap), but never actually hated him; I just always thought he was acting like a tool, because I didn't think anyone could really stand up there and not realize what a punching bag they were being. I never understood why anyone would run with that, but since then, I've missed him, because all the replacements (how many have there been? And it is still running??) still come off like total tools, and he's the only one who ever ran with the "Look! I'm a tool!" bit..
I think anybody would, with the terrible sound effects and narratives they're given..

Regarding being offended, (and at times I was), nobody forced me to view anything.

Here' a link to the South Park version of the Aristocrats, if you haven't seen it. :)
posted by hypersloth at 12:54 AM on May 7, 2005

er, *AFHV
posted by hypersloth at 12:56 AM on May 7, 2005

as much of a tool that he was on Full House, he was pretty damn funny on America's Funniest Home Videos.

I think I just went blind.

LOL. He definately was funny after I realized he knew how bad his jokes were. I was young, took me a while.
posted by ttopher at 1:40 AM on May 7, 2005

Saget is a hack. And a phoney hack at that - as in, he has no thoughts/concepts behind his dirty jokes - they're just there for shock value.
Regardless, as a lifelong fan of standup, I am definitely looking forward to "The Aristocrats".
posted by Radio7 at 1:59 AM on May 7, 2005

he has no thoughts/concepts behind his dirty jokes - they're just there for shock value

What, so are you supposed to submit a thesis before you tell a dirty joke now?

Whatever the case, if you think Saget is bad, you'd probably think the world has ended if you ever saw Chris Morris' Brass Eye Special.
posted by macdara at 5:17 AM on May 7, 2005

I have just gained new respect for Saget. I like a guy who can clean up nice and be a total lech behind the scenes.
posted by kalessin at 5:20 AM on May 7, 2005

You can get a little more Aristocrats info and the full cast list at the Think Films website. With over 100 hundred comedians and only an 86 minute run time I'm wondering how many of them actually get to tell the whole damn joke. I keep searching for a trailer but can't find anything.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 7:15 AM on May 7, 2005

Talking about having butt sex with my daughter does not do that.

clearly you haven't had buttsex with your daughter. for a dollar, i'll fill you in.
posted by quonsar at 8:33 AM on May 7, 2005 [1 favorite has favorites]

What lovely anecdotes.
My faith in humanity is restored.
posted by NorthernLite at 8:44 AM on May 7, 2005

Whatever the case, if you think Saget is bad, you'd probably think the world has ended if you ever saw Chris Morris' Brass Eye Special.

Which is a stupendous example of dirty jokes with thoughts/concepts behind them.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:22 AM on May 7, 2005

Saget's a nice guy, and a tool, and a dirty comic, and a good husband & father, and an asshole. He's all those things and other things probably.

perfectly put. Yeah, he seems like an american most of all, somehow. And I have to agree that humor is not all about surprise. Even once you know what's coming, the juxtaposition can remain funny somehow, the way something beautiful can remain beautiful even though it is never quite as the same as it was the first time you saw/heard it. But if it's truly funny, the pleasing element remains even once the novelty has faded, I think. This is why my favorite comedians are also a little dark - not just dirty, but aware of the tragic elements. it's that awareness that is pleasing.
posted by mdn at 9:35 AM on May 7, 2005

I used to hate Bob Saget when I was younger. Those Full House re-runs and AFHV painted him as a witless dick who'd do anything for money.

When I got to see the real Bob Saget my impression changed. He's dark. Even dark enough to do AFHV with a straight face. He *knows* how bad those jokes are.
posted by flippant at 9:48 AM on May 7, 2005

fungible writes "I think a joke is about making you see something in a way you didn't before, .... Talking about having butt sex with my daughter does not do that."

Then I worry for your daughter. ;)
posted by orthogonality at 9:51 AM on May 7, 2005

this far into the thread and no mention of alanis? huh.

(though i realise now the song was allegedly about dave "out of control" coulier...man, she got around the full house cast.)
posted by pxe2000 at 9:52 AM on May 7, 2005

Is Bob Saget Dios?

Dude. Seriously. Get the fuck over yourself.
posted by Cyrano at 4:33 PM EST

OK, but you go first.
posted by nofundy at 3:58 PM on May 7, 2005

What pops into Mr. Rickles’ mind when he hears the name Bob Saget?

“Failure.”

Wow. If surprise is the nature of comedy, I should be laughing my ass off.
posted by dreamsign at 12:54 AM on May 8, 2005

"Whatever the case, if you think Saget is bad, you'd probably think the world has ended if you ever saw Chris Morris' Brass Eye Special."

Which is a stupendous example of dirty jokes with thoughts/concepts behind them.

Exactly. One of the best things Channel 4 has every broadcast in my opinion -- I mean Morris thought of everything, right down the bumper commercials with one of C4's actual continuity announcers. (It was discussed a bit here at the time.)

But most people didn't get it, did they?
posted by macdara at 4:48 AM on May 8, 2005