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So this mule...it vibrates?
May 9, 2005 10:42 AM   Subscribe

"Well, of course, we do mules down on the farm in Georgia. It's the natural swing of things, you naive lefty you." Neal Horsley is certainly one of the more interesting right-wing hypocrites living in these interesting times. [via Wonkette]
posted by If I Had An Anus (39 comments total)

 
Previously on MetaFilter ...
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:43 AM on May 9, 2005


Well, what does one expect of the underlings when Fearless Leader masturbates horses?!

And don't forget the man-on-dog Santorum and who was that box turtle lover?
posted by nofundy at 10:48 AM on May 9, 2005


[offtopic]
BTW, love your username.
It's got me humming "If I Had a Hammer."
And the logical progression of thought would "I wouldn't be full of sh*it."
[/offtopic]

I grew up on a rural farm and I didn't know of ANY good old country boys who had mules as their first girlfriends!
What will Dobson have to say about this? Surely he cannot remain silent about beastiality in his midst?
posted by nofundy at 10:59 AM on May 9, 2005


who was that box turtle lover?

That would be Senator John Cornyn.
posted by shecky57 at 11:10 AM on May 9, 2005


NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality...

someone should have told that hayseed that having sex with farm animals is about as far removed from reality as you can get.

what about someone starting a website posting the names of people who post the names of abortion providers? the right should realize that thanks to their support for the NRA there are plenty of left wing nut cases who are heavily-armed too.
posted by three blind mice at 11:12 AM on May 9, 2005


"You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You're naive. You know better than that... If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it."

So, this mule, it... nevermind.
posted by triptychrecords at 11:15 AM on May 9, 2005


I know we can't go linking disgusting sex by-products and assholes all the time, but don't you think we could work up something for Mr. Horsley?
posted by Specklet at 11:16 AM on May 9, 2005


The MeFi left rarely breaks ranks with its Nordic friends, but it draws the line at horsefucking.
posted by Kwantsar at 11:17 AM on May 9, 2005


Wow. This guy's in Carrollton, GA. When I taught at West Georgia College in Carrollton, I had a student named Neal Horsley. His son, perhaps?
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:20 AM on May 9, 2005


Ahh, I get it, they parody their own extremes so that, when a GOPerative is caught in flagrante with one of his staff members staffing his member, then everyone's like "Oh, at least he isn't off fucking a goat".

Damn the vast animal humping right wing conspiracy.
posted by fenriq at 11:34 AM on May 9, 2005


Wow. This guy's in Carrollton, GA. When I taught at West Georgia College in Carrollton, I had a student named Neal Horsley. His son, perhaps?

Neigh.
posted by me & my monkey at 11:46 AM on May 9, 2005


This reminds me of the mule guy in "Dances with Wolves"...

Put that in your book...
posted by schyler523 at 12:11 PM on May 9, 2005


Put that in your book...
posted by schyler523 at 3:11 PM


Or somewhere else if you're so inclined. Just make sure the mule is friendly and amenable first.
posted by nofundy at 12:13 PM on May 9, 2005


I grew up on a farm. I didn't have sex with the animals. However, I consider myself to be pretty liberal. Maybe you need to be of a more conservative bent to truly enjoy a mare.
posted by graventy at 12:13 PM on May 9, 2005


A conservative who fucks animals, people cutting off their limbs, imaginary girlfriends...mefi's on a roll today.
posted by fungible at 12:15 PM on May 9, 2005


I myself use the amputated arm of my imaginary girlfriend to fist moo-cows. There. Happy now, fungible?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:20 PM on May 9, 2005



When the gays master genetic engineering, this will be the face of fag vengeance. Butch horses who take the initiative and punish insubordinates. HOT!

Discuss.
posted by saysthis at 12:22 PM on May 9, 2005


Sent this story to a friend of mine earlier, who replied:

"wow. so, my next question is whether he's opposed to aborting unholy mulebabies. or did he just avoid that concern by sodomizing his mule girlfriend?"

A valid point, if I do say so myself!
posted by bitter-girl.com at 12:22 PM on May 9, 2005


Didn't Kinsey's survey come up with the statistic that 70% of male youths who grew up on a farm were banging the animals?
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 12:41 PM on May 9, 2005


Thomas Granger.
posted by bardic at 1:05 PM on May 9, 2005


so, my next question is whether he's opposed to aborting unholy mulebabies. or did he just avoid that concern by sodomizing his mule girlfriend?

Mules are sterile.

(He's craftier than you thought, ain't he?)
posted by soyjoy at 1:59 PM on May 9, 2005


Discuss.
man, Zelda II was by far my favorite.

as for this guy, what a freak. point, laugh, look around to make sure others are as uneasy as you are about this guy's ability to garner attention. make sure your indignance is shining brightly on your shirt, pinned right straight and super shiny so everyone knows you don't like his style. by all means, single this man and his ideology out, because it's important that lots of people know about it.

wait, i'll try to stop being snarky and just say:
i think it would be a good idea to start posting little biographies that get everyone to point and stare at people who are fighting the good fight (the fight you're "fighting"). the liberal promotion campaign stinks---"look how bad the other guys are" seems to be the theme. there has just GOT to be people out there doing things to honestly forward a "liberal" sensibility that appeals to mass sympathies the way these freaks currenly do. if we need to point at someone on a mass communication level, point at those people, discuss their strategies and tendencies (and pitfalls and misdirections). Leave the flabbergasted, slack-jawed, "i can't believe they just did/said that and still expect to be taken seriously" finger-pointing to those who believe manipulation and domination are the only way (they'll be pointing at you in disbelief as you do something sensible and kind).

in short, let's see some nice people posted to the front page, please.
make your case, liberals!
posted by carsonb at 2:03 PM on May 9, 2005




ahem, "these freaks currently do." apologies.
posted by carsonb at 2:07 PM on May 9, 2005


and "indignation" rather than "indignance."

how about we just ignore the entire post because i'm obviously an idoit.
posted by carsonb at 2:12 PM on May 9, 2005


It was a female mule, right? I mean, he's not queer, is he?
posted by dash_slot- at 2:53 PM on May 9, 2005


Oh, so it's okay to make fun of mule-fuckers, but it's somehow "hateful" to advocate killing a fag for Christ?
posted by gigawhat? at 3:18 PM on May 9, 2005


That thing was a tease though, she was totally asking for it....
honestly though, the bible addresses just such a circumstance and the mule should now be put to death.
posted by hatchetjack at 3:26 PM on May 9, 2005


Mules are sterile.
Usually.
posted by kickingtheground at 4:00 PM on May 9, 2005


man, Zelda II was by far my favorite.

BLASPHEMY!!!!!!!!!
posted by delmoi at 4:08 PM on May 9, 2005


It was a female mule, right? I mean, he's not queer, is he?

*falls out of chair laughing*
posted by mediareport at 4:18 PM on May 9, 2005


Audio Link
posted by bitdamaged at 4:19 PM on May 9, 2005


They Fuck Horses, Don't They?
posted by StopMakingSense at 4:48 PM on May 9, 2005


carsonb -

your argument is a strawman. the point of the post isn't just that the guy should be derided because he's a horse sodomizer (because god knows, us liberals don't care about that), it's that he should stfu and stop antagonizing doctors and trying to get them killed because he's a goddamn hypocrite.

i mean, seriously, what kind of colossal fucking retard do you have to be to knowingly assist in the murder of doctors performing abortions because they've supposedly transgressed against an inviolate moral law, and then decry alan colmes as "out of touch" for not realizing how perfectly natural it is to fuck a mule?

it's like something out of Preacher.

the point isn't to demagogue conservatives, it's to remind us all -- once again -- that the people at the forefront of the extreme right wing are the worst sorts of hypocrites, and that's a reason to mock them from here to kingdom come and back. are you so pissed off at liberals that you can't express even the least bit of shame at these moral degenerates? party of values, my hominid ass.

really, how hard is that to understand? or was that the best response you could come up that allowed you to whine about liberals in the face of one of your own who admitted on national televion that he liked fucking mules like it was nothing out of the ordinary?

at least clinton had the good taste to get it on with a member of the same species. (and gender, fwiw to you conservatives, although we over here on this side of the aisle don't really care all that much.) and at least he apologized for it.

"what, alan? you've obviously never been to washington DC. everyone fucks their interns at least once in a while."

christ, at least that would have been something approximating the truth. gimme a goddamn break.
posted by spiderwire at 5:15 PM on May 9, 2005


actually -- looking back in a calmer state of mind, i may have misread your post as conservative. if so, i take back the personal vitriol.

however.

the point still stands. anybody who wants to stand up for absolute morals to the extent that they think it justifies murder needs to be slapped back down for their hypocrisies (especially big ones like this) as loudly as possible. it's ridiculous that they're allowed to get away with shit like this.

sure, positive liberals, whatever. hell of a lot of good it did john edwards. these people aren't even listening to us. i say: tear down their idols first. we got plenty of good people on our side, but we have to get these wackos off the stage by whatever means possible.
posted by spiderwire at 5:19 PM on May 9, 2005


i take no offense at the personal vitriol. i have a hard time picking sides in these liberal/conservative debates--not because i believe any one side to be more correct than the other but because the reprsentatives for each are such complete dolts that it's hard to reconcile my belief structure with what they represent. spiderwire, if you need a classification to help you direct your emotions, then know that i consider myself and my beliefs liberal.

ok, on to the response to the real response. don't strawman me and then throw john edwards out there. that isn't the kind of feature i'm talking about. electing a president is one thing, having sensible and kind people speaking out for an ideology is something else altogether. the freak featured here isn't running for president, and his actions and words make that very clear. however, he is getting news. he's on that stage you speak of, if not front and center then back(woods) and to the right. but he's on it, and I believe that a part of that stage, however small, is metafilter.

ah, however small--what a wonderful phrase. the details, the small, the minutae, these are things that liberals have ignored as unimportant in the face of the very real crises that have plagued this planet for a long time now. on the other hand, conservatives have thrived on a small scale, winning elections to school boards and city councils and holding chairs on neighborhood committees and church committes and the like. this sowing of small posts has blossomed into a healthy, flowering political regime on a grand scale--their commitment to the small stage has allowed some of them (those "idols" you'd tear down) to heavily influence the big stage as well.

tearing down those idols won't fix the problem--to develop the analogy a bit, you'll be ripping the blossoms off a rosebush and be left with a boring, thorny bush (infrastructure) that will just bloom again come next election year. rather, plant your own seeds (read: feature folks you support), grow roots for your ideas, and most importantly, be prepared with a beautiful blossom of your own to replace the one you'd tear down.

i say the best way to get 'em off the stage is to put someone up there in their place, not take pot shots at whomever's up there. because if you take potshots, you run the risk of taking out someone who could make a difference.

and please, if you care about changing things, don't be flippant about it. "whatever" is a powerful dismissal these days.

god, i sound fruity. peace, love, and nintendos for everyone.
posted by carsonb at 7:45 PM on May 9, 2005


I'm sorry, carsonb, I'm really trying to see your point here, honest, but I can't get over the fact that, well, one of the most sanctimonious folks on the extreme violent right just admitted on the radio that he thinks it's normal to fuck mules.

I mean, really, that's pretty goddamn fucking funny.
posted by mediareport at 8:46 PM on May 9, 2005


yes, it is. it's hilarious. i need to pick my battlefields better.
posted by carsonb at 8:48 PM on May 9, 2005


Oh, so it's okay to make fun of mule-fuckers, but it's somehow "hateful" to advocate killing a fag for Christ?
posted by gigawhat? at 6:18 PM EST


That is correct.

n short, let's see some nice people posted to the front page, please.
make your case, liberals!
posted by carsonb at 5:03 PM EST


OK, you go first.
posted by nofundy at 4:54 AM on May 10, 2005


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