Trump That Bernadette Peters!
May 20, 2005 11:46 PM   Subscribe

The Apprentice: The Musical. This is not a joke.
posted by adrober (21 comments total)

 
correction... this is not MEANT to be a joke...
posted by nanojath at 11:56 PM on May 20, 2005


'The Apprentice' is a compelling drama that has touched a chord with television audiences all over the world.

anyone's cords touched? mine arent.
posted by ackeber at 12:03 AM on May 21, 2005


What's The Apprentice?
posted by Samizdata at 12:17 AM on May 21, 2005


mmmmmm Bernadette...
posted by Joybooth at 12:22 AM on May 21, 2005


Oh, man. I can hardly wait. Here's my first draft for one of the numbers:

"My Protégé" (sung to the tune of "Mein Herr" from Cabaret.)

[ENTER DONALD]

You have to understand the task at hand, Protégé.
Sell lemonade at a little sidewalk stand, Protégé.
Then write an ad promoting Deutsch Bank's brand, Protégé.
That's your cue
Your debut
I'll review
When you're through,
Then you're through,
Toodle-oo!

Bye, bye, my Protégé.
You're fired, my Protégé
You'd make a fine valet
But I won't hire you.
Your resumé prepare
Go look for work elsewhere
McDonald's is hiring, my Protégé.

Try not to cry, Protégé,
It makes me laugh, Protégé.
You yes-men will do whatever I say
I've got bad monkey hair
But I'm a millionaire
I did your mom backstage,
My Protégé.

[Curtain.]
posted by fandango_matt at 2:02 AM on May 21, 2005


Can "American Idol" be far behind?

and, Fandango_matt.... nicely done!
posted by HuronBob at 2:55 AM on May 21, 2005


Bravissimo!
posted by Samizdata at 3:55 AM on May 21, 2005


Today's Donald Trump, Omorosa, Jessica Simpson, Simon Cowell and Britney Spears
are tommorow's Paul Lynde, Joanne Whorley, Betty White, Rip Taylor and PJ Morgan.
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:04 AM on May 21, 2005


I'm pretty sure this is meant to be an ironic joke and it's not even original. We fucking get it-- American culture is "Low Culture" and it's funny to celebrate it in a medium that's considered high culture like painting, opera, whatever. I think "Jerry Springer: The Opera" was the first in the recent rash of them. And they're all created so that some smug hipsters can get satisfaction feeling superior to the unwashed masses who watch bad televison (or do it without a sense of irony).

What's worse is that the musical projects are a rip-off of something that was funny and was done in 1997. Anyone else remember "Fuzz: The Musical" from Mr. Show? That was brilliant. From memory:

I thought that my home was my castle
With no one scrutinizing me
No pigs, no lying bitch, no hassle
Y'all are brutalizing me

Can a man not frink his beer in silence
Can a man not crudely lie and scream
Can a man not control his bitch with violence
Y'all are brutalizing me

posted by Mayor Curley at 5:57 AM on May 21, 2005


What a disappointment. I was expecting the full-blown version of "The Torturer's Apprentice" from "The Adventures of Baron Munchhausen."

Instead, it turns out to be one of those things you have to watch television to understand.
posted by warbaby at 6:27 AM on May 21, 2005


*Frinks his beer in silence*

Yep, it can be done.
posted by emelenjr at 6:46 AM on May 21, 2005


*it puts the culture in the basket*
posted by moonbird at 6:53 AM on May 21, 2005


Today's Donald Trump, Omorosa, Jessica Simpson, Simon Cowell and Britney Spears are tommorow's Paul Lynde, Joanne Whorley, Betty White, Rip Taylor and PJ Morgan.

Bingo. Each to be sitting in a square on Hollywood Squares.
posted by ericb at 7:41 AM on May 21, 2005


fandango_matt: that was great!
posted by adrober at 7:56 AM on May 21, 2005


No, it's no joke.

It's just a horrible, horrible confirmation that we're doomed, DOOMED I tell you!
posted by Relay at 8:58 AM on May 21, 2005


Today's Donald Trump, Omorosa, Jessica Simpson, Simon Cowell and Britney Spears are tommorow's Paul Lynde, Joanne Whorley, Betty White, Rip Taylor and PJ Morgan.

Bingo. Each to be sitting in a square on Hollywood Squares.
posted by ericb at 7:41 AM PST on May 21 [!


And all but Omorosa will be wiping their asses with c notes for as long as they damn well please...
posted by jikel_morten at 9:17 AM on May 21, 2005


Mayor Curley is right did I just type that?! ;) -- Mr. Show did it the frickin' best, and everything else is but a pale, pale imitation of David Cross standing around half naked singing operatically while Bob Odenkirk runs around with a camera in the background whilst wearing a beard that appears to have been attached with tape.

Hi, 911, it's me again!
Ronnie's beatin' me again!
I got ya on speed dial
Wish you'd call
me once in awhile!
Hi, 911, it's me again...

posted by scody at 11:46 AM on May 21, 2005


e fucking get it-- American culture is "Low Culture" and it's funny to celebrate it in a medium that's considered high culture like painting, opera, whatever. I think "Jerry Springer: The Opera" was the first in the recent rash of them. And they're all created so that some smug hipsters can get satisfaction feeling superior to the unwashed masses who watch bad televison (or do it without a sense of irony).

I guess you didn't get the memmo, Mayor, but Hipster bashing is now Hip. Making anyone who does it now a hypocrite.

Unless of course they do it in a smug, ironic way.
posted by delmoi at 12:12 PM on May 21, 2005


Any investors willing to fund a production of "A-Team! The Musical"?
posted by ericbop at 12:35 PM on May 21, 2005


We fucking get it-- American culture is "Low Culture" and it's funny to celebrate it in a medium that's considered high culture like painting, opera, whatever.

Opera?!? This is a fucking musical: the lowest of the low culture. Fucking Cats?!? Lowest of the low, man.
posted by mr_roboto at 3:19 PM on May 21, 2005


Remember when at least some Broadway musicals were original scores and stories? I'll grant you that having name/song recognition going in probably helps with selling tickets but I can't help feeling it's turning into the same thing that is Classical Music: all performance, no composition.
posted by tommasz at 3:22 PM on May 21, 2005


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