Fluffers are people too!
May 21, 2005 7:43 AM   Subscribe

If nobody will pay, then there's no more handjobs... On the heels of the tres ridiculous RIAA antipiracy trailers come a few new ones. Explore the hidden world of the very destruction you create: zombies, writers and fluffers explain it all -- if you prick us, do we not bleed? (some movies NSFW)
posted by yonation (33 comments total)
 
For the first time I can recall, memepool beats out meFi by four days. The fluffer movie was by far the best.
posted by jsavimbi at 7:49 AM on May 21, 2005


Nice!
posted by drezdn at 8:02 AM on May 21, 2005


Yes, we here at MeFi pride ourselves in blatantly stealing threads from memepool and other similar trendy websites. Please inform the RIAA so they'll make terrible propaganda chastising us and demonizing our souls.

I don't think corporate mentality is intelligent enough to realize that the more they try to criminalize downloading and demonize anyone who participates, they only make it more 'cool' (for lack of a 'cooler' term). It's like the reason why kids like reading books like the Harry Potter series or Lemony Snickett's stuff: it freaks out the 'rents. Anything that freaks out the 'rents becomes cool. Anything that threatens to have one sent to the principal is edgy and other kids either blatantly admire those sorts or privately envy them which is even better. The more the blands attempt to discourage this behavior, they're only encouraging it, while simultaneously alienating a wider percentage of paying customers. You can't stop the signal.

The truth is things like Netflix are causing more damage to theater ticket sales than filesharing. Actually, indoor theaters are going to go the way of drive-ins in thirty years due to the poor quality of the theater experience compared to having DVDs mailed to one's home. The industry is doing more damage to itself than any amount of downloading could ever do. Blaming this on perceived 'pirating' is looking for a patsy. They're afraid, but they're not willing to fix their own problems, preferring instead to blame their problems on things out of their control.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:13 AM on May 21, 2005


Sorry, ZachsMind, but video tapes didn't kill the theater business, nor will DVD's, mailed to your home or not.

Theaters have gotten progressively better over the years, and I hate to mention that some theaters are still operating without any sort of renovation or btterizing the user experience. Take for example the Sommerville Theater in Davis Square, or better yet, the Capitol Theater in Arlington, a place where I saw The Bad News Bears, first run, in 1976.

Take it or leave it, cinemas aren't going anywhere. If anyone wants to complain about revenues, maybe they need to take a look at the quality of the content, the ignorant mainstreaming of our pc culture, or the lack of funding for the arts. Also, studios can't wait to get those damn movies out of the theaters and onto DVD. When is the last time you saw an Olsen twins pictorama on the big screen? And they've made enough money to support coke dealers from coast to coast. So there: suck it.
posted by jsavimbi at 8:36 AM on May 21, 2005


+10 for usage of the term "fluffers"
posted by taz at 8:43 AM on May 21, 2005


It's not DVD's that are going to kill Theaters, it's cheap High-Def Screens and infinite-channel surround sound.
posted by Mick at 9:51 AM on May 21, 2005


Oh come one it's pretty clear

1. Media Industry know they can't beat technology nor make it illegal without demonstrating it can only be used
for evil purposes and outcomes (interestingly they forgot GUNS..guess NRA loves em)

2. No protection is unbeatable, on the long term. The more it costs the more they'll suffer when the technology is surpassed

3. There's no actual theft involved, no matter how RIAA would like you to think copying is theft

I propose the following : if copying is theft, then exploiting workers is murder..let's see whose business is closed first.

So why all this seducing you with fluffing videos or viral marketing or whatnot ? Cause they would rather keep the myth alive that piracy (that of common users) is ruining them..because it's FAR less expensive to have a TAX on each media sold (already enforced in Canada and other countries...guess U.S. sooner or later) ..which turns also out into a FIXED income.

Now fixed, predictable and constant income is a DREAM for many ordinary Joes..incredibly, it's not a dream for corporations. Mhhh...I smell corporate welfare ?
posted by elpapacito at 10:24 AM on May 21, 2005


Mick's hit it on the head.

although i'd credit cheap DLP projectors, along with HD screens, with killing theaters.

that and putting television ads on before the movies, it's making the 'real' theater experience more like the 'home' theater experience, except you get no remote.

me and mine used to go to movies a couple times a week, for over a year. it really smacked me in the face that a lot of them weren't worth the money, and I spent the bonus on a projector, and it had pretty much paid for itself (using Netflix) in 6 months.

they're only getting cheaper and better, and we still go out to movies and shows and all, but there is a very tenuous line that some movies need to rise above to make it worth seeing...

the ads these movies spoof are terrible, and really, they'd have more impact if they just had Michael Bay direct one, where you have people all over the street in Southern California screaming and running around, panning out to an satellite view of the western part of the state falling into the ocean, ending with some (other) lame anti-piracy message. it'd be over the top, and reek of true hollywood.
posted by Busithoth at 10:57 AM on May 21, 2005


Yes, we here at MeFi pride ourselves in blatantly stealing threads from memepool and other similar trendy websites.

Memepool trendy? Maybe 6 years ago...
posted by delmoi at 12:09 PM on May 21, 2005


OK trivia types, who is the girl on the left-hand side during the erection-on-table scene of the fluffers short?
posted by bonaldi at 12:22 PM on May 21, 2005


I give.
Who?
posted by Busithoth at 12:40 PM on May 21, 2005


Busithoth writes "they'd have more impact if they just had Michael Bay direct one, where you have people all over the street in Southern California screaming and running around, panning out to an satellite view of the western part of the state falling into the ocean"

They want to make people feel bad, not break out in applause :-)

Personally I've been searching for some time for "a web site" where I can download entire movies "with one click of the mouse", which the bullsh*t MPAA ads keep promising exist. I've yet to find one, and have long been of the opinion that those sites exist only in the syphilis-addled minds of studio execs.
posted by clevershark at 12:50 PM on May 21, 2005


Anyone catch the new tagline in the Writers clip?

Metafilter: I'm lucky if I can snort coke off a hooker's ass even once a month.
posted by rusty at 1:00 PM on May 21, 2005


Busithoth: Damned if I know. It's driving me crazy. She was in some TV series, I'm almost certain. Hoping for a trivia fan to rise to teh challenge.
posted by bonaldi at 1:03 PM on May 21, 2005


Awesome.

Made in Canada!
The video crew seems to be based in Calgary & Vancouver, and the audio was made by songstowearpantsto, of Toronto (and I actually I sort of half-know the STWPT guy's roommate. Small internet.)
posted by blacklite at 1:41 PM on May 21, 2005


Personally I've been searching for some time for "a web site" where I can download entire movies "with one click of the mouse", which the bullsh*t MPAA ads keep promising exist. I've yet to find one, and have long been of the opinion that those sites exist only in the syphilis-addled minds of studio execs.

BitTorrent much?
posted by jimmy at 1:52 PM on May 21, 2005


Shrug. Those RIAA trailers are already several years old. Can't wait for those r4nt folks to share their edgy "Friends" parodies next.

Where does the notion that technology will destroy the theatre business come from? People have been leaving their homes for entertainment since Agamemnon staged its first preview. Over the next 2000 years we've invented radio, teevee, the Internet -- not to mention two-cans connected by a wire, the old-timey kinescope, and endless 1920s fun that was the hoop-and-stick -- and people are still leaving their dwellings and paying others with the hope of laughing, crying, or just generally losing one's self for a few hours in a dark room with the company of others.

Television didn't kill the movies. The VCR didn't kill the movies. DVDs sent to your home haven't killed the movies. Eventually, the next crop of studio executives -- the ones who don't know a world without computers -- will find a business model to make video-on-demand and downloadable pictures profitable. If one isn't introduced before that. The old guard hasn't figured this stuff out yet, so it's funny to watch their knee-jerk response to all this, I suppose. Of course, we've witness this all before. It's the same wrong-headed thinking that lead some to want to ban the VCR back in the early 80s, or the dual-deck cassette players during the same era.

Technology can and will change, but people will still want to go somewhere to be entertained. Humans are, more or less, a gregarious bunch.
posted by herc at 2:05 PM on May 21, 2005


I find most theatres nasty, and the high-volume THX demonstration of how loudly it can reproduce unsettling sounds doesn't do a lot for me either.
Considering that it totally destroys a $50 to take a family of four to ANY movie, I don't view it as "family entertainment" either. Who in any sane reality needs another 10 million dollars on top of their existing 200 million dollar net worth? Is this star admiration, or some perverted worship?

Anybody have a line on the new Star Wars yet?
posted by buzzman at 2:21 PM on May 21, 2005


"Take it or leave it, cinemas aren't going anywhere."

Yeah. The generation before us said the same thing about drive-in movie theaters. Why would that ever die? You could watch movies without ever having to leave the comfort of your own car. That idea was gonna live forever. Sorry jsavimbi, but I respectfully disagree.

Ditto what elpapacito said. This isn't about truth. The RIAA is trying to write history now while they're still the victor.

I'm not saying indoor movie theaters will fade away tomorrow. I'm giving it thirty years. The drive-ins hung out for a long time. There might still be a couple out there in the rural areas where indoor theaters aren't plentiful. There will be a place in the future for indoor movie theaters, but it won't be as big as it is today. As home theater systems become bigger and better, more people will prefer popping their own popcorn to paying those outrageous prices.
posted by ZachsMind at 3:16 PM on May 21, 2005


K trivia types, who is the girl on the left-hand side during the erection-on-table scene of the fluffers short?
posted by bonaldi at 12:22 PM PST on May 21 [!]


At least she can get work in these troubled times.
I'm down to handjobs on streetcorners.

Mention this ad for a free 30 seconds!
posted by Balisong at 4:40 PM on May 21, 2005


You could watch movies without ever having to leave the comfort of your own car. That idea was gonna live forever.

there's always the Movie Manor Best Western. They combined a drive-in movie theater with hotel rooms in a semi-circle around it with piped in sound. (still usually a single speaker comming out of the wall with a dial volume)
posted by Balisong at 4:47 PM on May 21, 2005


DVD rental and purchase accounts for more film industry sales than theater ticket sales.

http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/news/2004-01-08-dvd-success_x.htm

While it's stupid to debate whether DVD will COMPLETELY ERADICATE theaters in 30 years time, it's foolish to believe there is no tension there at all. The entertainment dollar is finite.

Why don't we talk about the elephant in the room: does downloading hurt DVD rental and sales revenue?
posted by scarabic at 5:20 PM on May 21, 2005


jimmy writes "BitTorrent much?"

Have you ever gotten anything even remotely interesting on BitTorrent that didn't take several days to download?

er, that's what my friends tell me.
posted by clevershark at 5:28 PM on May 21, 2005


For many decades, I was perfectly happy not knowing what a fluffer was.
posted by warbaby at 7:11 PM on May 21, 2005


scarabic asked: "Why don't we talk about the elephant in the room: does downloading hurt DVD rental and sales revenue?"

That depends.

We just bought two DVDs this afternoon. Star Wars Episodes 1 and 2. We are watching them in preparation for our theatrre viewing of Episode 3.

Let's analyze this.
Download. Crappy quality. Extra effort. Movie.
Buy DVD. Best quality. Easy. Move. Mulitple hours of extra features.

Download. zero$.
Buy. $15 (plus tax) for each pair of DVDs. Watch till puke and then take to Second Spin and get $7 foe each DVD.

And, the winner is, buy. For us. We have the money. $15 is just not that expensive.

And, the winner is, download. For college students who don't have the money (As Homer Simpson would say: two six packs or one movie? Mmm, beer.).

And, the winner is a crappy copy of a DVD. For Chinese factory workers for whom $15 is a lot, then they will buy the illegal copy for $1.

If you totally prohibit ALL unauthorized copies, what is your marginal increase in revenue? The college student and the Chinese worker won't buy the $15 version. So, your marginal increase in revenue is zero.

,dave
posted by davebarnes at 8:04 PM on May 21, 2005


Anybody have a line on the new Star Wars yet?

Yeah. It was released the day the movie came out. As has been said before, BitTorrent much?

Have you ever gotten anything even remotely interesting on BitTorrent that didn't take several days to download?

Christ almighty, man, you've got to be kidding. Right? You're pulling my leg. Or you're a MP/RIAA stooge. Because you can get thousands of movies, albums, games, eBooks, or software, and it's all ripe for the clicking. Literally, thousands. Last time I checked a rather popular Swedish site, there were something like 6500 movies available.

And while part of me thinks I'm going to get a pile-on of people telling me to keep quiet, know that the sooner distributed file sharing takes hold of the popular conscience, the sooner we'll see repeals of the DMCA and it's ilk. When everyone's a criminal, no one is.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:32 PM on May 21, 2005


"Have you ever gotten anything even remotely interesting on BitTorrent that didn't take several days to download?"

Several days at an average of 400 to 550KB/second is... er... let me get out my calculator here... a bunch of gigs. Something on the order of ten to the power of a metric assload. I don't even have the disk space to hold something that would take "several days" to download. Sure, it might take a while to get up to speed, but even in the worst case that's an hour or so of lead time on large torrents in big swarms.

Your improperly configured network and/or BitTorrent client is not the network's problem. BitTorrent is alive and well. Your failure to use it properly notwithstanding, of course.

So, uh, the short answer is: Yes. All the time.
posted by majick at 11:37 PM on May 21, 2005


C_D rather understates things, by the way. I just did a quick fact check, and that 6500 figure appears to only account for the low quality movies. Add that category together with the DVD-R download category, and you're looking at a number in excess of ten thousand torrents of movies alone.

Surely one of those films is both "remotely interesting" and worth the hour or two, tops, of download time!
posted by majick at 11:49 PM on May 21, 2005


Civil_Disobedient writes "Christ almighty, man, you've got to be kidding. Right? You're pulling my leg. Or you're a MP/RIAA stooge. Because you can get thousands of movies, albums, games, eBooks, or software, and it's all ripe for the clicking. Literally, thousands. Last time I checked a rather popular Swedish site, there were something like 6500 movies available."

I find the idea of myself being a "MP/RIAA stooge" hilarious. Really, please keep feeding us your original material.

Yes, there's tons of stuff out there, I'll be the first one to tell you so. However anything DVD-sized will take SEVERAL DAYS to download. Sometimes over a week. The fact is that despite BT's distributed nature, most BT users are leeches and disable uploading, which means that the user in the end is stuck downloading stuff at 1 or 2 KB/s because you have thousands of users trying to connect to 1 or 2 seeds.
posted by clevershark at 11:21 AM on May 22, 2005


I say we find all these BT users who are all stingy and making us wait for our immediate gratification fix and string them up..
Abu Garaib style!
posted by Balisong at 1:18 PM on May 22, 2005


because you have thousands of users trying to connect to 1 or 2 seeds

This is certainly true for older material. But, just as an example, the new Star Wars film had about 17,000 people leeching, and another 4000 seeding. In all likelihood, that's going to completely saturate your bandwidth.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 3:48 PM on May 22, 2005


clevershark, there are ratio sites that force people to upload.
and even on the piratebay theres still alot of uploading.

But the problem could be with your ISP, some are using some crap tech, elacoya, or something like that it selectively slows down their customers bittorrent/p2p transfers. nothing custoemrs can do about that except switch.
posted by Iax at 3:58 PM on May 22, 2005


So I'm late... All of these trailers were terrible. I agree with the message, but I guess there's no accounting for taste. The writing and acting were crap. Some people will get worked up over any hot-button item. Seriously, don't encourage those guys. Beg them to leave it to someone who will be able to pull this off. Geh... that Zombie chick was the worst. Spending $99.00 at lens crafters does not give you the right to inflict crap upon the world. And the fluffer piece, what a shame. Editing and timing, people. Go watch a "movie" or "stand-up comedian". Can you say "stand-up comedian"?

...well, how about "movie"?
posted by apiaryist at 5:03 PM on May 23, 2005


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