Comments on: GRAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNS

GRAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNS

qDot — Mon, 23 May 2005 08:50:04 -0800

Hufu, the vegetarian alternative to human flesh. With a name thought up by Milla Jovovitch, you know it's gotta be good.

By: peacay

peacay — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:10:57 -0800

Well, if they'd combine with this mob then they'd probably corner the market.

By: WaterSprite

WaterSprite — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:13:19 -0800

You guys are making me sick!

By: saladin

saladin — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:15:30 -0800

I'm holding out for the Hufu Doctor Lecter's Liver.

By: InnocentBystander

InnocentBystander — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:18:12 -0800

This is a joke... right? /just can't tell any more

By: davy

davy — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:19:54 -0800

I think it's a step in the wrong direction. On an overcrowded planet like this we should resume eating real people, like those fat blonds who drive around the mall lot all day looking for a parking space right next to the door and then walk only as far as the shopping scooter station. Think of how tasty and tender they must be!

By: delmoi

delmoi — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:23:44 -0800

like those fat blonds who drive around the mall lot all day looking for a parking space right next to the door and then walk only as far as the shopping scooter station. Think of how tasty and tender they must be! I think that would be even grosser then eating a regular person.

By: davy

davy — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:23:48 -0800

"drive around the mall lot" I see them mainly clustered around supermarkets, for some reason.

By: originalname37

originalname37 — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:24:28 -0800

"Hofu" sounds like [the male organ] How can I be so out of touch that I don't even know what term for "[the male organ]" Milla thinks that sounds like?

By: 40 Watt

40 Watt — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:26:49 -0800

qDot wins the grand prize for this week's best post title.

By: crunchland

crunchland — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:27:12 -0800

Can't we all just eat what we want to eat, without making judgements about what other people are munching on? If people want to eat human flesh, then that's their own business (and, I guess, the business of the people they're eating... if you want to get techincal about it.). If someone want to eat tofu, moon pies, salmon, filet mignon, or boston bib, that's their right, too. Limiting yourself, or expecting others to limit themselves to specific foods for reasons other than taste or nutrition is just wrong.

By: selfmedicating

selfmedicating — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:27:50 -0800

original: it's not just you. I am sans clue.

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:31:34 -0800

This might put a crimp in my plan to market a meat based tofu substitute called "Faux-Fu".

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:36:25 -0800

"Hofu" sounds like [the male organ] Maybe "dick" as an all purpose pajorative (i.e. "The new Hipp Band X album sounds like dick.")?

By: cmonkey

cmonkey — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:43:46 -0800

Oh I hope this is vegan. This would make cannibal movies so much more fun to watch. How can I be so out of touch that I don't even know what term for "[the male organ]" Milla thinks that sounds like? "He also claims that the name "hufu" was actually coined by actress and model Milla Jovovich. Several years ago, a business associate was discussing Nuckols' idea, then called "hofu," with a friend on a Eurostar train going from London to Paris. Jovovich, intrigued, allegedly turned around to join in the conversation, commenting, "'Hofu' sounds like 'c*ck' -- you should call it 'hufu.'""

By: NickDouglas

NickDouglas — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:52:52 -0800

Definitely the title of the week.

By: kika

kika — Mon, 23 May 2005 09:54:17 -0800

I don't know if it tastes like human flesh but it surely smells like viral marketing.

By: originalname37

originalname37 — Mon, 23 May 2005 10:02:49 -0800

"'Hofu' sounds like 'c*ck' -- you should call it 'hufu.'"" Thanks, cmonkey, for the clarification.
I wonder if she'd use the same pejorative in describing the taste.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 23 May 2005 10:06:57 -0800

I though human flesh was supposed to taste like Spam.

By: Jon-o

Jon-o — Mon, 23 May 2005 10:15:46 -0800

This is HI-larious! I can't wait until it turns up next to the seitan, tofu, and soymilk in the Whole Foods. It's for all of us who've wanted to try human flesh without guilt! The only thing that would make this funnier would be if it was actually real.

By: Chasuk

Chasuk — Mon, 23 May 2005 10:21:43 -0800

crunchland: your reply was wonderful, verging on camp. I love it when people parody seriousness, but especially when they are able to parody a parody with the same level of seriousness. Bravo!

By: clevershark

clevershark — Mon, 23 May 2005 10:22:47 -0800

Everyone knows the reason we don't eat human flesh is that it tastes terrible!

By: C.Batt

C.Batt — Mon, 23 May 2005 10:47:27 -0800

Cool... I can see the marketing campaign now: Say no to Kuru. Eat Hufu!

By: nervousfritz

nervousfritz — Mon, 23 May 2005 10:55:04 -0800

Now I know what to bring to the next cookout I have to attend. This should dispel that "you're a fag" feeling which invariably descends when one is forced to explain why one is not eating steaks and burgers with everyone else...

By: fenriq

fenriq — Mon, 23 May 2005 11:00:31 -0800

I thought Milla wasn't getting any more speaking parts after that whole Fifth Element debacle. Anyway, fake human meat? Sort of (fake) tongue in cheek, huh?

By: alumshubby

alumshubby — Mon, 23 May 2005 11:18:04 -0800

I'm gonna assume there's really no such thing, because I've been burned before.

By: prodigalsun

prodigalsun — Mon, 23 May 2005 11:23:19 -0800

I'm sick of all these people who reject cannibalism but then eat human flesh substitutes because they still like the taste. What's the point? You either like chowing down on a freshly killed enemy's rib cage slathered in barbecue sauce, or you don't. But to consistently try and engineer foodstuffs that taste like human beings so that you can claim some kind of moral high ground, is patently disingenuous and misses the point of Cannibalism. The point is to honor your enemy's warrior spirit and by ingesting him make it a part of you, thereby confering some level of immortality to him, and by the same token adding to your mojo. To eat HuFu molded into the left but cheek of your mother-in-law frankly pathetic. And it makes me want to eat you.

By: clevershark

clevershark — Mon, 23 May 2005 11:39:20 -0800

"And if you kill anyone, make sure to eat their heart to gain their courage. Their rich, tasty courage." -Prof. Farnsworth

By: spicynuts

spicynuts — Mon, 23 May 2005 11:49:49 -0800

One of my friends is at Tuck MBA with this guy. It's just hype to sell the t-shirts. There is no Hufu product.

By: Specklet

Specklet — Mon, 23 May 2005 11:56:16 -0800

I was pretty sure this was a joke, but it looks like you really can buy it... Since when does the word Hofu sound like "cock"? I think she must have been referring to a word in her native Ukranian...

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Mon, 23 May 2005 12:07:54 -0800

Funny. I'll try anything once. They don't mention what it's made from = joke. I guess T-shirts are as good a reason as that stupid Showdown.

By: kyrademon

kyrademon — Mon, 23 May 2005 12:08:17 -0800

By: prodigalsun

prodigalsun — Mon, 23 May 2005 12:31:20 -0800

prodigalsun, your contention that there is a single "point" to anthropophagy is nothing more than typical Fiji-centric Imperialism. There are *many* reasons for wanting to devour human flesh, all of them equally valid. Some of us just like the taste. True, Kyrademon, I appologize for invalidating anyone elses motivations for consuming the "long pork." I can only speak for myself, my people, and the umpteen enemy warriers that have graced my battlefields and my cutlery. Forgive me, I ate a clown last night, and it tasted a little funny, maybe I'm getting sick.

By: Human Flesh

Human Flesh — Mon, 23 May 2005 13:51:03 -0800

I've finally found a product that trumps Not Dogs and Tofurky. This Thanksgiving is going to be great!

By: qDot

qDot — Mon, 23 May 2005 14:06:51 -0800

Today I learn, there is no preview button for tags.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Mon, 23 May 2005 14:08:20 -0800

Soylent Green is people in 5... I enjoyed how much human flesh was eaten in the comic series "Transmetropolitan." I'd like to see a Long Pig hut selling those feet on a stick. Yum.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Mon, 23 May 2005 14:41:12 -0800

"Hofu sounds like [the male organ]..." Yes Milla, but does it taste like it?

By: bashos_frog

bashos_frog — Mon, 23 May 2005 15:24:12 -0800

Ok, people, I'll spell it out. Hofu = ho' food = whore food = cock. I think.

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Mon, 23 May 2005 16:02:47 -0800

I tried to find me some, but my ho-fu is weak.

By: Specklet

Specklet — Mon, 23 May 2005 16:23:55 -0800

bashos, I've never heard that term and actually can't find it online...

By: exlotuseater

exlotuseater — Mon, 23 May 2005 16:45:27 -0800

well, bashos_frog and specklet, if it wasn't a widely used term, it will be now.

By: clevershark

clevershark — Mon, 23 May 2005 17:19:46 -0800

Ho-fu -- sounds like martial arts for prostitutes.

By: Arhat

Arhat — Mon, 23 May 2005 18:32:32 -0800

Your pimp slapping is no match for my hofu.

By: crunchland

crunchland — Mon, 23 May 2005 20:37:14 -0800

"Ho' food?" Please. You guys do realize that not everyone in the world speaks english, right? Maybe Milla is referring to some slang term in a different language?

By: davy

davy — Mon, 23 May 2005 21:42:21 -0800

The point is to honor your enemy's warrior spirit and by ingesting him make it a part of you, thereby confering some level of immortality to him, and by the same token adding to your mojo. No no no. Such pointless over-elaboration! The point is that humans are easier to herd and/or hunt than quadrupeds, and more fun to fuck -- which also makes more food. Gluttony is its own reward. burp You spiritual types need your heads examined. And by the way, nervousfritz, what's wrong with being a fag, vegetarian or otherwise?

By: davy

davy — Mon, 23 May 2005 21:46:50 -0800

Me: like those fat blonds who drive around the mall lot all day looking for a parking space right next to the door and then walk only as far as the shopping scooter station. Think of how tasty and tender they must be! delmoi: I think that would be even grosser then eating a regular person. You don't like feedlot beef? There's a reason they took to penning them in and letting them eat all they want. Cowboy cattle were stringy and tough, like dairy cows.

By: prodigalsun

prodigalsun — Tue, 24 May 2005 15:15:32 -0800

No no no. Such pointless over-elaboration! The point is that humans are easier to herd and/or hunt than quadrupeds, and more fun to fuck -- which also makes more food. Gluttony is its own reward. burp Fricken' vampire wannabees. You cheapen the name of cannibalism! If eating another human being can't be a transformational experience that brings me closer to the almighty, then what's the point... Hmm....maybe I'll start hanign around the vatican... *starts planning his "Pope Inside" tee shirt.* Eggs Benedict anyone?

By: re6smith

re6smith — Thu, 26 May 2005 06:07:56 -0800

I've been peppering any comments I ever make about food with the phrase "human flesh" for years. Now I can make it (nearly) true!