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A sign of the end times?
May 24, 2005 3:06 AM   Subscribe

The Spice Girls reunite. No, this is not a joke. It's more like an advisory.
posted by deusdiabolus (95 comments total)

 
this is very good news.
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 3:21 AM on May 24, 2005


yeah just what we needed: more ugh pop.
posted by dhruva at 3:25 AM on May 24, 2005


The first time as tragedy, the second time as farce?
posted by alumshubby at 3:31 AM on May 24, 2005


I thought they were dead.
posted by sveskemus at 3:36 AM on May 24, 2005


when will the madness end?
posted by seanyboy at 3:37 AM on May 24, 2005


Geri Halliwell was the one who got canned. Ironically, after they fired her she immediately had a big hit, Look at Me, on here own. AND, she's tone deaf! What does that say about the rest of them, that the tone deaf one had the biggest solo hit? Never mind - I answered my own question.
posted by wsg at 3:43 AM on May 24, 2005


the terrorists are winning!
posted by dflemingdotorg at 3:46 AM on May 24, 2005


um, I, for one, welcome our, um, nearly new, over-tarts..?
posted by blindsam at 3:52 AM on May 24, 2005


In addition to the tour, Spice Girls are to release a ‘Best of' album.

Is that like Greatest Speeches of Marcel Marceau?
posted by alumshubby at 4:05 AM on May 24, 2005


Geri Halliwell was the one who got canned.

I think you mean the one who first felt she had to act to resolve her artistic differences with the group.
posted by biffa at 4:09 AM on May 24, 2005


Thank the lord I'm deaf - no, shit I'm blind.
posted by blindsam at 4:09 AM on May 24, 2005


I believe this event was foretold in the book of revelations.

Here's hoping 661 is their chart position.
posted by ciderwoman at 4:25 AM on May 24, 2005


The first few songs they released were actually pretty good as pop songs go.
posted by Space Coyote at 4:32 AM on May 24, 2005


616, no?
posted by dhruva at 4:34 AM on May 24, 2005


When the Spice Girls were first launched in the UK I was in Ecuador for a month and I missed all the hype, all the photos, all the warning signs.

I leave: the world is fine.
I stay in Ecuador: the world is very special.
I come back: oh what the fuck?

I may return to South America and see if I can undo this terrible curse.
posted by NinjaPirate at 4:41 AM on May 24, 2005


When Solo Failure Attacks!
posted by Pretty_Generic at 4:48 AM on May 24, 2005


okay I tell you, what I need, what I truly, truly need...okay? okay?
posted by Hands of Manos at 5:04 AM on May 24, 2005


I'm in favor of this only if it means there will be a sequel to Spice World
posted by shawnj at 5:05 AM on May 24, 2005


Is Baby Spice now Teenage Spice?
posted by harry hood at 5:14 AM on May 24, 2005


I thought she'd graduated to Trailer Park Spice
posted by Hands of Manos at 5:17 AM on May 24, 2005


What I "really, really want" is for them to go away. Again. For good. Damn. This is just what the world needed.
posted by horseblind at 5:41 AM on May 24, 2005


The only thing I can think about this is, it must be punishment for downloading mp3s. Damn you filesharing! You brought this plague upon us once more!
posted by graymouser at 5:43 AM on May 24, 2005


I'm waiting for Paris Hilton's comment before I form an opinion.
posted by RavinDave at 5:55 AM on May 24, 2005


I like "Who do you think you are" for grinding up hills on my bike; it's on my 'exercise' playlist.

They may not have had any inherent talent, but the people who put their songs together sure did.
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 5:57 AM on May 24, 2005


The tour is also said to ensure the girls a large paycheck.

This will be a nice bonus to what, I'm sure, is purely an artistic endeavor.
posted by papercake at 6:03 AM on May 24, 2005


Heywood Mogroot, I find that with a lot of the crappy pop acts these days. Despite the incredible lack of talent of the performers, the material they put out is very finely crafted, catchy pop fluff. Britney Spears, the Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls, Avril Lavigne - they all have songs I can't help but enjoy, even though I know they're lame.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:17 AM on May 24, 2005


What was the saying again? Take off and nuke them from orbit, just to be sure?

If you want to be my lover........ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
posted by a3matrix at 6:22 AM on May 24, 2005


I'm sorry, I accidentally stumbled into the wrong thread.
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 6:24 AM on May 24, 2005


I believe Paris Hilton has been quoted as saying, "That's hot."

I know this is just a snark fest, but c'mon, they weren't actually that bad. I think you all are just frightened by girl power.
posted by klangklangston at 6:26 AM on May 24, 2005


NinjaPirate: Go. Now.

The free world is counting on you.
posted by Floach at 6:31 AM on May 24, 2005


I'll take SG over a number of contemporary "real" rock bands, thank you. Authenticity is highly overrated.
posted by bardic at 6:35 AM on May 24, 2005


And it looks like Sporty is still the hottest.
posted by bardic at 6:36 AM on May 24, 2005


BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES SKANTLY CLAD SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX HOT HOT HOT HOT

Cause you really think we're listening to the catchy tunes or looking at their weapons of mass distraction ?
posted by elpapacito at 6:36 AM on May 24, 2005


I've said it before and I'll say it again: capitalism does not work. The market has no long term concerns. It may do what's best for a few, but never what's best for the species.
posted by nixerman at 6:38 AM on May 24, 2005


Just turn off the sound and watch Scary Spice jiggle and it's all worthwhile.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: capitalism does not work.

The alternatives haven't worked out so great either.
posted by jonmc at 6:44 AM on May 24, 2005


This is obviously how Posh Spice is seeking revenge on Becks for all his flagrant fooling around.
posted by gloege at 6:47 AM on May 24, 2005


Is Baby Spice now Teenage Spice?

Nope. Old Spice.

Scary speaks to the sexy in me.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:49 AM on May 24, 2005


Scary speaks to the sexy in me.

Me too. Although, I liked her better with the old hair.
posted by jonmc at 6:51 AM on May 24, 2005


The "BOOBIES" thing won't work. Remember...they're all "Old Spice" now. Plastic surgery power!
posted by fungible at 7:06 AM on May 24, 2005


Thankfully, I have my Best of The Archies CD.
posted by mischief at 7:06 AM on May 24, 2005


Hey, the Archies rocked, as did 1910 Fruitgum Co., Crazy Elephant, The Partridge Family, The DeFranco Family, and even Hanson on occasion.

Anyone who loves the Ramones (or Kiss, or British Glam) and disses the above bands has missed the point.
posted by jonmc at 7:11 AM on May 24, 2005


How can we talk about the Spice Girls when Ernest T. Bass just died?
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:13 AM on May 24, 2005


Thurl Ravensroft, too.
posted by jonmc at 7:14 AM on May 24, 2005


Allow me:

in a wistful tone:
"Oh Grrrrrrrrreat..."
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:18 AM on May 24, 2005


> If you want to be my lover........ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends..."

What's not to like about a suggestion like that? All women should be so generous.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:31 AM on May 24, 2005


I fondly remember Thurl Ravenscroft every Christmas season for his unforgettable rendition of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch."
posted by alumshubby at 7:48 AM on May 24, 2005


"F" you all! The Spice Girls were a FAN.TAS.TIC pop group. If you didn't like them, its because you don't like pop music (which, believe you me, is more than fair). For what they were, they were the right blend of saccharine and bubblegum for the times. At least now I can finally see them in concert, where as before... I was WAY too cool. Now I'm "kewl", and THAT's how a Spice Fan would say it.

(btw: "Old Spice"? Best of the Thread)
posted by indiebass at 8:29 AM on May 24, 2005


WHAT?!? I can't believe there was no FPP on the passing of the great Thurl Ravenscroft. Very sad indeed.

Oh, and was there something about the Spice Girls?
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 8:33 AM on May 24, 2005


No, indiebass, the Spice Girls were not fantastic. They were 5 talentless hacks singing incredibly annoying songs (badly). If that's "pop" you can shove it up your arse.
posted by salmacis at 8:39 AM on May 24, 2005


"Wannabe" was a nifty peice of candy. Besides they had boobies.
posted by jonmc at 8:41 AM on May 24, 2005


I've said it before and I'll say it again: capitalism does not work. The market has no long term concerns. It may do what's best for a few, but never what's best for the species.

[rolls eyes] Only on MeFi is the return of the Spice Girls seen as a ringing endorsement of communism.

Hey, if they can make a go of it and con another generation of 12 year old girls and grant raging boners to another batch of lonely 35 year old men... I say good for them. I hope they make a BA-zillion dollars. Shit man. What else would they be doing with their lives? Curing cancer? I think not.

Talentless hacks So what? Sturgeons rule: 98% of everything is shit.

If it's not pop, it's "folk" music, then. These ladies are just common folk.

Hell. It ain't about the art. It's about the fantasy. Isn't it everybody's dream to make a ton of dough and live a rock-star life? Regardless of talent? They hit the lottery. So good for them.

You think they don't "deserve" it. So what. Most of us don't deserve half of what we have. You don't like it don't listen, don't buy.

I say YAY capitalism and boobies! And Sporty is rrrrrrawaaarr!
posted by tkchrist at 9:01 AM on May 24, 2005


I can't think of any song I've heard by them except "Wannabe", which seemed like a fairly likeable song. From whence all the bile? What did I miss?
posted by Bugbread at 9:12 AM on May 24, 2005


From whence all the bile?

Envy. Or maybe they remind them of some chick they failed to score with.
posted by jonmc at 9:14 AM on May 24, 2005


I don't know what's worse...the return of the Backstreet Boys, or the the reconstruction of the spice girls
posted by Hands of Manos at 9:24 AM on May 24, 2005


Hey, the Archies rocked, as did 1910 Fruitgum Co., Crazy Elephant, The Partridge Family, The DeFranco Family, and even Hanson on occasion.

Dude... The Partridge Family?
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 9:27 AM on May 24, 2005


The Partridge Family rocks.
posted by Bugbread at 9:33 AM on May 24, 2005


Fuzzy Monster:1) "I Think I Love You" and "Dosen't Somebody Want To Be Wanted" are great sing-along pop songs, 2) Their TV show was more legitamitely entertaining than the Bradys (plus Lori Partridge was teh hawt) and 3)my black "c'mon get happy" Partridge t-shirt is among my most prized possessions.
posted by jonmc at 9:35 AM on May 24, 2005


Yeah, but dude... The Partridge Family?
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 9:46 AM on May 24, 2005


Bonaduce..Bonaduce..Bonaduce..

/beavis
posted by jonmc at 9:48 AM on May 24, 2005


I'd rather have the Spice Girls back than more crap from American Idol and a Britney/Redneck "reality tv" show...
posted by mrbill at 9:52 AM on May 24, 2005


Praise god! I feel my booty starting to shake already!
posted by aacheson at 10:03 AM on May 24, 2005


MmmmmmBOP!
posted by grateful at 10:19 AM on May 24, 2005


Interestingly, they're all hotter now.
posted by anildash at 10:31 AM on May 24, 2005


No. anil, Scary was hotter with the big hair, IMHO.
posted by jonmc at 10:32 AM on May 24, 2005


Envy. Or maybe they remind them of some chick they failed to score with.

Do you seriously believe that? Or do you not think that their songs were as irritating as the crazy frog?
posted by salmacis at 11:14 AM on May 24, 2005


They weren't great, no, but they're undeserving of the level of bile they're recieving. It's harmless pop music with a boobies bonus. So, yeah if you're that angry about it, I gotta figure there's another reason.
posted by jonmc at 11:16 AM on May 24, 2005


Jon, don't you ever compare the Ramones to Hanson again. Or I will brave Queens and come kick your ass.
posted by dame at 11:47 AM on May 24, 2005


I'm not comparing them in terms of quality, dame-and you know that there isn't a bigger Ramones fan on this board than I. I'm merely stating that anyone who claims to love the Ramones, but writes of Hanson as "bubblegum," dosen't realize that the Ramones were all about the gum. "Blitzkreig Bop," was written to sound like the Bay City Rollers, for pete's sake. Joey loved the 1910 Fruitgum Company and Tommy James and The Shondells. Their songs were unironic celebrations of American junk culture.The Ramones were all about breaking down the phony wall between what's "cool" and "authentic" versus "disposable pop."

And the Ramones were from Queens, remember?
posted by jonmc at 11:59 AM on May 24, 2005


Just because good things come from Queens doesn't mean Queens is good. But quality is the question. Hanson is bad. You can hate them and still love the Ramones. The Ramones did pop garage well.
posted by dame at 12:04 PM on May 24, 2005


I still think the chicks from All Saints were hotter.
posted by Jart at 12:05 PM on May 24, 2005


I'd rather have the Spice Girls back than more crap from American Idol and a Britney/Redneck "reality tv" show...

I'm actually looking foreward to the Britney show. I don't really know why, but I think its one of those things that will be horribly awful yet extremely entertaining.
posted by ackeber at 12:08 PM on May 24, 2005


Hanson is bad.

"MMMBop," is a perfect pop confection on the level of "Go All The Way," "Valleri," "Sooner Or Later," and "I Want You Back." In fact, somebody once described Hanson as "The Aryan Jackson 5."

And at least they played their own instruments.
posted by jonmc at 12:13 PM on May 24, 2005


(see once you abandon the idea of "hipness" and "cred" you can publicly embrace stuff like "MMMBop." It's very liberating. Thankfully, I never bought into those ideas in the first place)
posted by jonmc at 12:15 PM on May 24, 2005


talentless hacks singing incredibly annoying songs (badly). If that's "pop" you can shove it up your arse

I think that's the definition of pop, isn't it?

I will always love the Spice Girls a little bit for the sheer unintentional hilariousness of the 2Bcum1 video.
posted by fshgrl at 12:16 PM on May 24, 2005


jonmc: "It's harmless pop music with a boobies bonus. So, yeah if you're that angry about it, I gotta figure there's another reason."

One of many possibles: "serious musician types" having trouble getting record deals and fame in the face of corporate candy-boobie marketing. :)

(Not something I suffer from, by the way. I was never offended by the Spice Girls, and I like their boobies. 'Specially Geri's.)
posted by zoogleplex at 12:20 PM on May 24, 2005


Also, all the best American punk bands (Ramones, Dictators, Dickies, Dolls, MC5, Runaways) completely embraced teenage pop for all it was worth. And British Glam was 90% of the time nothing but bubblegum with louder guitars and androgyny.

Read this book for further elucidation.
posted by jonmc at 12:21 PM on May 24, 2005


I will always love the Spice Girls a little bit for the sheer unintentional hilariousness of the 2Bcum1 video.

I used to try and imagine how many teenage girls were inspired to part with their virginity by that song. The best answer I could come up with was "lots." In my book, that means the Spice Girls perform a valuable public service.
posted by Jart at 12:24 PM on May 24, 2005


Jon, you are just wrong. I dislike Hanson not for hipness sake but because it makes me brain hurt and the baby Mohammed to cry. People can disagree with you and not have it be about coolness. So don't make me get on the N.

* Please note that not all people who seem hip actually do things to seem that way--sometimes everyone just comes around to a style that would be yours regardless of who embraced it.
posted by dame at 12:54 PM on May 24, 2005


Dame, I didn't say you couldn't legitamitely dislike Hanson, since that's just a matter of taste. My original statement was basically if you write off Hanson because they're "bubblegum," but like the Ramones, then you've missed the point because the Ramones are bubblegum, too. If you just don't dig them then they're just not your bag. Gabiche, paeasana?

But Hanson just ain't your flavor of gum. Perhaps you'd like a pack of Bay City Rollers, or a stick of Jackson 5?
posted by jonmc at 12:58 PM on May 24, 2005


Perhaps the thought of a SG reunion seems less offensive from the American side of the pond as you've been spared the pain that has been their solo careers.

Sporty had one good single, Baby did a passable latin thing, Scary was just embarrassing (save a collaboration with Missy Elliot) and the less said about Posh's singles the better.

But the nadir of it all has been Geri, with her ever more desperate attempts to forge a career doing anything. To make matters worse, AFAIK Geri is now the only one with a record deal (Sporty is releasing her own stuff I believe). She'll turn up at the opening of an envelope, and now has two autobiographies. Here in the UK we've had enough of the lot of them, and so what do they do? Reform. The heartless bastards.

There are few sights more unpleasant than someone desperately clinging to the remains of their 15 minutes of fame. I enjoyed the whole spice phenomenum at the time (loved the second single), but enough is enough. I can take the Pixies reforming, but please god save us from this.
posted by ciderwoman at 2:55 PM on May 24, 2005


I used to try and imagine how many teenage girls were inspired to part with their virginity by that song.

That song promoted responsible sex... Put it on... put it on...
posted by fshgrl at 3:04 PM on May 24, 2005


Oh goody, now maybe the Pale Saints'll reunite, too.
posted by DenOfSizer at 4:26 PM on May 24, 2005


ciderwoman : "She'll turn up at the opening of an envelope"

I'd just like to say that that's a wonderful phrase. Your own?
posted by Bugbread at 4:29 PM on May 24, 2005


Just chiming in to say "mmmbop!" to jon, who I am thrilled to have in my corner on the Hanson question. And to politely ask for a stick of that delicious Bay City Rollers flavor.
posted by scody at 4:54 PM on May 24, 2005


scody, one day you'll own a radio station and I'll be your Wolfman Jack.
posted by jonmc at 5:00 PM on May 24, 2005


omigodthatwouldbesoCOOL. What would our call letters be? WBOP?

*tries to imagine jon with the Wolfman's beard and fangs; giggles*
posted by scody at 5:07 PM on May 24, 2005


About 8 years ago, I had facial hair similar to the Wolfman's and a shoulder-length mane. I woulda been a laff riot.
posted by jonmc at 5:15 PM on May 24, 2005


But no fangs, I wager?
posted by scody at 5:34 PM on May 24, 2005


Me, fangs? Nah. Although my goth buddy Craig had an icredibly realistic set that he used to put on to amuse himself. One time we went to Hometown Buffet and I begged him to put them on and tell the cashier "I'm 350 years old, I demand a senior citizen discount!" in a Transylvanian accent, but he wouldn't go for it.

Another time at the same location, I saw a goth dude in full regalia-black vinyl duster, long stringy black hair, silver lip spike- dining with what I assume were his parents. It's not often you get to watch the Prince Of darkness enjoy some Jell-O Salad.
posted by jonmc at 5:40 PM on May 24, 2005




*rolls on floor sobbing with laughter*

Jon, promise me that when I come through NYC this summer or fall, you will be present for the meetup. We must talk records and trade goofy goth stories!

posted by scody at 6:19 PM on May 24, 2005


Sure.
posted by jonmc at 6:24 PM on May 24, 2005


For the record, if they tour to my part of the world, I will gladly sleep with all five of them, together or separately. As you can see, I do want to "get wit' their friends," so I hope I am finally going to score.
posted by Joey Michaels at 6:56 PM on May 24, 2005


Okay, jon, you're right--the rationale for hating Hanson is the crap rationale, not the bubblegum one. Then again, you know I like "Bay City Rollers We Love You."
posted by dame at 8:07 PM on May 24, 2005


I would like to post NIN vs. The Spice Girls "Closer to Spice" here, but I can't find a suitable, safe, high-bandwidth link, so you're going to have to google/p2p it for yourself. Trust me, if you haven't heard it you'll thank me. It's really frightening how well those two songs mix together.

Except, in this context my answer to "what I really, really want" would never be "I wanna fuck you like an animal".
posted by loquacious at 8:54 PM on May 24, 2005


"Nice spice rack!"

Well damn it, no one had said it yet.
posted by Darkman at 11:39 PM on May 25, 2005


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